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LEISURE   HOUR  SERIES 


BABOLAIN 


A    NOVEL 


TRANSLATED  FROM  THE  FRENCH 


GUSTAVE  DROZ 


MS. 


NEW    YORK 
HOLT   &   WILLIAMS 

1873 


Entered,  according  to  Act  of  Conjfrcss,  in  tho  year  1S7.',  by 

HENRY  HOLT. 
In  the  Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress  at  Washington. 


MIDDLKTON  A  CO.,  STKIIKOTVPkk«t 
•RIDGSrORT,   CONM. 


Pa 

BABOLAIN. 


To  live  one's  own  life,  however  humble  it  may  be, 
is  a  triumph.  To  have  an  instrument  of  one's  own 
and  play  upon  it  with  ease !  And  to  think  that  so 
many  people  have  merely  had  the  trouble  of  breathing 
into  this  instrument  to  draw  forth  the  most  charm- 
ing airs,  while  I  have  not  even  been  able  to  j&nd  the 
mouth-piece. 

Yet  it  is  not  because  I  am  completely  devoid  of 
intelligence.  I  always  had  enough  to  grieve  that  I 
possessed  no  more,  which  is  something.  Moreover, 
being  gifted  to  a  certain  extent  with  a  critical  judg- 
ment and  a  spirit  of  analysis,  I  have  formed  opinions 
regarding  others  and  myself  which  were  sometimes 
perfectly  just,  but  unfortunately  never  came  in  time 
to  shed  light  upon  my  path  and  save  me  from  errors. 
I  will  venture  to  say  that  I  never  long  ignored  or 
lost  sight  of  myself.  Through  fear  of  ridicule— this 
dread  was  a  perpetual  torment  to  me — I  was  always 
uneasy,  eager  to  examine  my  character,  to  sound  the 
depths  of  my  nature;  and  almost  the  sole  result  of 
these  observations  was  to  reveal  the  presence  of  the 
most  prodigious  pride.  It  is  incredible  that  a  pas- 
sion should  have  been  able  to  penetrate  so  deeply 
into  the  very  groundwork  of  a  poor  man's  existence. 

Besides  this,  there  was  nothing,  ar^d  yet  many 


S32652 


2  BABOLAIN. 

things.  In  my  unlucky  brain  everything  was  disjoint- 
ed, confused,  and  ready  to  fall.  I  have  often  exam- 
ined my  skull:  it  is  irregular,  ill -shaped,  hump- 
backed— and  I  suppose  there  are  hollows  inside. 

To  sum  up  the  whole,  I  was  a  pitiable  and — 
I  was  going  to  say,  a  useless  creature  !  The  blade  of 
grass  that  vegetates  between  two  paving-stones  has 
its  reason  for  existence,  its  little  mission.  By  the 
mere  fact  that  I  have  lived,  is  it  not  clear,  my  God, 
that  Thou  hadst  reserved  for  me  a  place  which  I  have 
doubtless  been  unable  to  find,  entrusted  to  me  a  part 
I  have  failed  to  understand  ?  I  do  not  complain.  I 
have  had  my  joys,  my  share  of  sunlight,  but  how 
many  showers  ! 

My  mother  died  the  day  after  I  was  born,  and  six 
years  later,  at  the  time  of  the  great  inundation  of  the 
Loire,  my  father,  who  was  a  professor  in  the  college 
of  Orleans,  and  from  motives  of  economy  occupied 
a  little  house  in  the  suburbs,  was  drowned. 

As  we  grow  old  we  involuntarily  turn  towards  the 
road  already  traversed  ;  one  might  say  that  the  Past 
pulls  us  by  the  sleeve.  I  can  see  again,  as  if  through 
a  veil,  my  poor  father,  sickly  and  pale  like  myself, 
adjusting  his  spectacles,  or  smoothing  his  hair  with 
his  thin  hand  before  confining  it  under  his  cap,  which 
he  slipped  on  with  the  greatest  care  ;  or  else  bending 
his  head  with  a  faint,  sad  smile  to  the  noisy  authority 
of  his  younger  brother,  my  uncle  Babolain,  who  lived 
in  the  environs  of  Beaugency.  Never  were  two  per- 
sons, united  by  ties  so  close,  more  unlike  each  other. 
My  uncle  was  as  voluminous  in  mind  and  body  as  the 
space  morally  and  physically  occupied  by  the  author 
of  my  days  was  small.  Endowed  with  wonderful  vig- 
or, which  his  labors  as  the  owner  of  a  vineyard  devel- 
oped still  more,  self-confident,  trusting  in  his  own 
importance,  rich,  healthy,  ruddy,  spitting  into  his  huge 
plaid  handkerchief  which  he  held  spread  out  before 
him  in  his  large  hairy  hands,  crushing  walnuts  and 


B ABO  LAIN.  3 

hazelnuts  by  the  mere  pressure  of  his  fingers,  raising 
barrels,  and  stiffening  the  muscles  of  his  arms,  which 
in  his  good-natured  moments  he  liked  to  have  people' 
feel — he  was  a  man  on  whom  one  could  depend. 

When  he  spoke  or  laughed,  the  hurricane  that 
escaped  from  his  huge  chest  made  the  windows  shake 
and  the  ceiling  tremble.  Oh  !  my  poor  dear  father, 
how  little  you  resembled  this  hero,  whose  renown  is 
not  yet  extinct  for  ten  leagues  around  Beaugency  ! 
My  uncle  always  seemed  to  me  a  wonderful  and 
formidable  person,  who  had  a  slight  touch  of  the  ogre 
in  him. 

After  all,  in  spite  of  his  roughness,  uncle  Babo- 
lain  did  all  that  he  could  for  me.  On  leaving  the 
cemetery  where  my  father  had  just  been  interred,  my 
uncle  put  over  his  dark  green  coat  a  large  smock 
frock,  embroidered  upon  the  collar,  and  covered  with 
a  quantity  of  little  buttons,  arranged  his  handkerchief 
over  the  crape  floating  from  his  hat,  for  it  was  raining 
a  little,  and  seizing  me  by  the  belt  with  one  arm,  de- 
posited me  in  his  cart,  in  the  middle  of  the  remnants 
of  my  father's  efiects  which  they  had  succeeded  in 
saving.  "  To  the  left,  on  the  bench,  boy,"  he  said, 
in  his  gruff  voice.  My  emotion  made  me  awkward, 
and  my  tears  blinded  me.  He  hastily  got  in  himself, 
spite  of  the  creaking  of  the  vehicle,  which  seemed 
about  to  break,  seized  the  reins,  gave  a  peculiar 
whistle,  and  the  nag  started  at  a  rapid  trot,  to  stop  a 
few  minutes  after  at  a  harness-maker's  shop.  In 
spite  of  my  grief  I  was  very  glad  of  it,  for  uncle 
Babolain  had  sat  down  upon  my  hand,  and  I  felt  a 
very  sharp  pain  at  every  jolt.  We  stopped  several 
times  more  before  the  shops,  and  at  each  place  the 
cart  was  filled  with  all  sorts  of  things,  my  uncle  hav- 
ing taken  advantage  of  the  funeral,  which  brought 
him  to  Orleans,  to  make  numerous  purchases. 

When  his  business  was  at  last  completed,  he 
wrapped   his  huge   limbs   in   an   immense   blanket. 


4  babolain; 

cracked  his  whip  gayly,  and  we  entered  the  lonely 
suburbs.  The  rain  fell  with  redoubled  violence  ;  the 
houses  soon  became  more  scattered,  and  we  were 
in  the  open  country,  which  was  still  covered  with  the 
large  yellow  pools  left  by  the  inundation.  It  seemed 
as  if  everything  was  crumbling  around  me  ;  the  disas- 
ters that  surrounded  me  mingled  with  my  own  misfor- 
tune, and  through  my  sobs  I  bade  farewell  to  the  little 
houses,  the  bushes,  the  trees,  that  glided  by — I  would 
fain  have  clung  to  them. 

But  I  dared  not  stir  on  account  of  my  neighbor, 
of  whom  I  was  terribly  afraid,  and  who  glanced  at  me 
from  time  to  time  as  we  look  at  an  ill-packed  bundle 
we  fear  we  may  lose  on  the  way.  I  pulled  my  cap, 
from  which  the  rain  was  dripping,  farther  over  my 
eyes,  clasped  my  hands,  and  prayed  to  God  with  all 
my  heart. 

I  was  drenched  to  the  skin  and  shivering  from 
head  to  foot  when,  towards  evening,  we  reached 
Closerie.  The  horse  was  led  into  the  barn,  the  cart 
was  unloaded,  and  my  uncle  ordered  supper.  My 
appearance  was  doubtless  very  pitiable,  for  when  he 
saw  me  in  the  corner  where  I  had  taken  refuge,  his 
face  assumed  an  expression  of  genuine  compassion, 
and  he  sent  me  to  bed  at  once. 

I  did  not  leave  it  for  six  weeks  to  a  day,  and  then 
was  scarcely  recovered  from  an  inflammation  of  the 
chest,  which  almost  carried  me  off.  I  was,  as  may  be 
supposed,  paler  and  more  feeble  than  ever,  which  in- 
creased my  difficulties,  for  my  uncle  had  an  instinct- 
ive aversion  to  invalids.  I  knew  that  he  had  never 
been  able  to  conceal  from  my  father  the  contempt  in- 
spired by  his  delicate  constitution,  and  I  could  not 
expect  greater  indulgence  for  myself  Yet  I  made 
great  exertions,  I  will  not  say  to  get  into  his  good 
graces,  for  I  carefully  avoided  him,  but  not  to  shock 
the  robust  chubby  beings  by  whom  I  was  surrounded ; 
I  tried  to  eat  like  the  farm  children,  play  their  games 


BABOLAIN.  5 

bear  their  burdens — and  I  had  attacks  of  indigestion, 
nearly  broke  my  leg,  and  my  natural  awkwardness 
deprived  me  of  all  respect. 

Then  instead  of  making  amends  for  my  defects 
by  qualities  which  I  might  perhaps  have  attained, 
I  became  jealous  of  all  whose  only  crime  was  that 
of  possessing  a  physical  organization  superior  to 
my  own,  and  my  unhappy  pride  coming  to  my  aid, 
I  soon  considered  their  advantages  as  so  many  inferi- 
orities which  increased  my  superiority  all  the  more. 
I  lived  in  retirement,  shutting  myself  up  in  my  infirm- 
ities as  in  a  sanctuary  inaccessible  to  the  profane. 
In  short,  after  a  few  weeks  of  this  detestable  life, 
when  my  uncle,  who  had  had  enough  of  his  role  of  pro- 
tector, told  me  that  the  college  of  Orleans  had  offered 
me  a  scholarship  in  recognition  of  my  father's  servi- 
ces, it  seemed  to  me  that  this  rehabilitation  was  really 
due  to  the  exceptional  merit  of  my  despised  intellect. 
I  entered  the  college  like  a  conqueror.  I  was  at 
last  going  to  live  with  my  equals  !  Poor  dear  father, 
why  were  you  not  near  me  with  your  gentle  words 
and  kindly  glance ! 

Was  it  my  dress,  which  certainly  was  a  little  pe- 
culiar, since  no  one  had  taken  any  care  of  it  for  a  long 
time ;  or  was  it  my  person  ?  I  did  not  know,  but  one 
thing  is  certain,  I  instantly  excited  the  merriment  of 
my  companions.  When  it  was  known  that  I  was  the 
son  of  that  droll  pere  Babolain,  the  merriment  in- 
creased to  mad  laughter;  the  little  scamps  fairly  went 
into  convulsions.  They  sang  couplets  of  which  the 
dead  man  was  the  hero,  declared  that  I  looked  Hke 
him,  in  fact  was  his  very  image  ;  little  p^re  Babolain 
certainly  was  not  dead,  he  had  only  grown  young 
again  and  become  a  pupil  to  atone  for  his  past  life  as 
a  professor. 

My  new  comrades  certainly  did  not  suspect  the 
deep  sorrow  they  caused  me ;  people  are  cruel  only 
tlirough   ignorance ;    but   at  that   time   I    had   suf- 


6  B ABO  LAIN, 

fered  too  little  to  understand  all  this.  At  the  even- 
ing recess,  directly  after  supper,  my  resolution  was 
formed :  without  the  slightest  hesitation  I  planted 
myself  stiff  and  straight  directly  in  front  of  one  of 
the  boys  who  had  made  most  fun  of  me.  He  was 
one  of  the  largest  and  strongest ;  I  had  chosen  him 
on  account  of  his  height,  so  that  he  was  at  least  a 
head  taller.  Yet  every  drop  of  blood  in  my  body 
receded  to  my  heart,  and  I  really  thought  I  was  facing 
death. 

"  Monsieur,"  said  I,  stammering  violently  from 
emotion,  "  Monsieur,  I  won't  have  my  family  insulted, 
and  you — you  shall  not  do  it." 

I  must  have  been  very  comical,  for  I  instantly 
heard  the  abominable  laugh  which  had  welcomed  me 
that  morning,  and  pursued  me,  alas  !   so  long. 

"  My  little  old  man,"  said  my  adversary,  merrily 
patting  my  cheek — the  bystanders  stamped  with  de- 
light— "  you  will  get  thrashed  if  you  don't  behave 
yourself." 

"  You  shall  ask  papa's  pardon,"  I  cried,  rising  on 
tiptoe  and  knocking  my  companion's  hat  a  long  dis- 
tance off.  Almost  at  the  same  instant  I  received  a 
violent  blow  in  the  face,  which  made  me  lose  all  self- 
control  ;  I  rushed  forward  and  struck  furiously  with 
both  hands  and  feet,  without  seeing  or  hearing  any- 
thing. I  know  not  how  long  this  contest  lasted,  for 
I  did  not  recover  my  senses  until  I  found  myself 
in  a  bed  in  the  infirmary,  whither  they  had  carried 
me.  I  was  covered  with  compresses,  the  sheets 
were  stained  with  blood,  and  when  I  tried  to  move 
I  felt  a  terrible  pain  towards  the  end  of  my  right 
arm. 

"Ask  God's  pardon,  my  child,"  murmured  the 
Sister  of  Charity  who  was  standing  near  me  with  the 
doctor ;  "  perform  an  act  of  contrition." 

"  The  devil,  the  devil !  pardon  me  Sister  j  the  lu- 
natic has  dislocated  his  wrist,"  said  the  doctor  gruffly. 


B ABO  LAIN.  7 

"  That's  what  people  get  when  they  fight  with  walls, 
little  savage." 

It  seems  that  in  my  fury,  to  the  great  delight  of 
the  lookers-on,  I  had  really  attacked  the  wall  and 
bruised  myself  against  the  stones. 

I  remained  in  the  infirmary  a  long  time,  and  was 
very  dull,  for  the  cause  which  had  brought  me  there 
was  not  one  to  arouse  any  sympathy  for  me.  The 
principal  had  not  concealed  the  alarm  which  my  per- 
verse instinct  inspired  in  him  for  the  future,  and 
everybody  undoubtedly  considered  me  a  most  dan- 
gerous person.  One  evening  when  the  Sister  of  Char- 
ity brought  my  porridge  and  leaned  over  me  to  shake 
up  my  pillow,  my  heart  suddenly  swelled  with  such 
gratitude  that,  throwing  my  sound  arm  around  her,  I 
embraced  her,  bursting  into  tears.  She  hastily  drew 
back  with  sincere  indignation,  her  face  flushed  deep- 
ly, and  from  that  time  I  was  nursed  by  a  dirty 
boy  who  had  a  very  disagreeable  smell.  The  deser- 
tion of  the  kind  Sister  caused  me  deep  pain  ;  another 
punishment  which  I  did  not  understand  !  I  vaguely 
imagined  that  she  had  felt  an  insuperable  disgust 
towards  me,  caused  partly  by  my  natural  ugliness, 
and  partly  perhaps  by  some  infirmity  with  which  I 
was  unconsciously  afflicted.  Still  I  never  dared  to 
ask  her  how  I  had  offended  her;  besides,  I  had  no 
time  to  do  so,  for  two  days  after  they  sent  me  back 
among  my  companions,  still  bruised  and  very  weak, 
but  determined  to  bear  everything  from  them. 

There  is  a  certain  consoling  joy  in  self-imposed 
humility,  it  is  the  strength  of  the  weak  to  bend 
without  complaining,  to  envelope  themselves  in  in- 
difference, take  refuge  in  themselves  and  be  able  to 
say :  here  1  am  master.  It  contains  a  triumph  which 
flatters  vanity  and  lulls  resentment  to  sleep,  for  the 
human  soul  is  so  constituted  that  the  feelings  born  in 
it  must  balance  each  other ;  and  the  little  victories 
we  obtain  within  make  us  forget  the  defeats  sustain- 


8  BABOLAIN. 

ed  without :  we  have  chains  on  our  feet  and  laurels 
in  our  pockets. 

I  rushed  into  study  as  one  throws  himself  into 
the  water,  from  despair,  and  did  so  well  that,  after 
a  few  months  labor,  I  was  at  the  head  of  the  class. 
Then  the  cruelties  to  which  I  had  been  compelled  to 
submit  gradually  ceased,  and  they  contented  them- 
selves with  making  fun  of  me.  What  a  sensation  of 
comfort  I  felt ! 


II. 

One  Sunday  evening — I  had  as  usual  spent  the 
holiday  entirely  alone — my  next  neighbor  in  the  class, 
who  was  singing  merrily,  ran  against  me  on  the  stair- 
case leading  to  the  dormitory.  This  young  fellow's 
name  was  Timol6on,  and  he  was  numbered  among 
the  most  influential  personages  in  the  division.  Tall 
sturdy,  skilful  in  every  game,  with  thick  fair  hair  sur- 
rounding a  face  as  laughing  and  rosy  as  a  girl's,  his 
eyes  beamed  with  an  expression  of  such  bewitching 
frankness  and  jollity  that  he  was  beloved  by  every- 
body, and  although  one  of  the  wildest  received  the 
fewest  punishments,  yet  no  one  dreamed  of  wonder- 
ing at  it.  Moreover,  this  spoiled  child  was  extreme- 
ly idle  ;  but  he  might  have  made  even  laziness  at- 
tractive by  the  joyous  grace  with  which  he  bore  his 
ignorance. 

"  1  have  brought  you  something  that  will  please 
you,  little  old  man,''  said  he,  placing  in  my  hands  a 
package  containing  two  brioches. 

I  was  so  unaccustomed  to  such  proceedings  that 
at  first  my  embarrassment  was  extreme,  and — I  con- 
fess it  with  regret — I  felt  an  emotion  of  distrust. 
Dogs  which  have  been  too  much  beaten  run  away 
when  they  are  called. 

"  Why  do  you  give  me  this  ? "  I  murmured. 


BABOLAIN.  9 

"To  please  you,  of  course.  You  never  go  out, 
my  poor  little  old  man,  nobody  comes  to  see  you,  and 
you  haven't  a  cent." 

"  I  do  not  complain." 

"  I  have  been  a  longtime  in  discovering  what  you 
really  are — don't  put  your  old  spectacles  on  the  end 
of  your  nose.  Look  here,  Babolain," — it  was  the  first 
time  that  a  fellow-student  had  called  me  by  my  name 
— "  shall  we  be  friends  ?   Say,  do  you  agree  ?  " 

I  was  touched  to  the  very  depths  of  my  heart.  I 
had  never  supposed  that  any  one  could  address  such 
sweet  words  to  me,  and  murmured :  "  Then  you  are 
not  afraid  of  bringing  annoyances  upon  yourself  by 
getting  intimate  with  me  ? " 

He  drew  himself  up  proudly  like  the  brave,  gener- 
ous fellow  he  was. 

"  Annoyances !  I  should  like  to  see  any  one  find 
fault  with  what  I  do,  or  touch  a  hair  on  the  head  of 
him  whom  I  call  my  friend.  Give  me  your  hand,  is 
it  agreed." 

"  Oh  !  yes,  I  will  never  forget  this,  Timol6on,  no 
never." 

"  Good-night,  little  old  man." 

"  Good-night,  Timoleon." 

I  quickly  got  into  my  bed,  and  when  I  had  lain 
down,  slowly  set  about  eating  a  whole  brioche.  I 
was  hungry  and  happy. 

Our  intimacy,  which  never  died  out,  for  Timoleon 
has  always  played  a  part  in  my  life,  began  in  a  way 
that  greatly  annoyed  me  ;  the  third  day  after  this  fa- 
mous Sunday  he  carelessly  asked  me  to  write  his 
composition.  He  requested  it  as  he  would  have  beg- 
ged me  to  lend  him  a  ball,  or  pass  him  the  carafe  ;  I 
saw  that  he  attached  no  importance  to  it,  and  I  lov- 
ed him  too  well,  was  too  grateful  to  him,  to  refuse  a 
service  he  valued  so  little,  but  it  was  very  painful  to 
me  !  I  was  timid,  easily  alarmed,  a  slave  to  discipline 
and  my  conscience  told  me  plainly :  "  what  you  are  do- 


lO  BABOLAm. 

ing  is  dishonest  and  wrong."  Yet  I  committed  the 
error,  and  regularly  almost  every  week  he  made  me 
repeat  it,  without  my  daring  to  tell  him,  even  once, 
how  much  it  troubled  me.  How  heartily  the  great 
child  who  never  saw  evil  in  anything  would  have 
laughed  if  I  had  confessed  my  scruples.  Dear  Tim- 
oleon  !  He  always  said  :  "  Heavens !  how  stupid  you 
are,  little  old  man.  Come,  be  quiet,  or  I  will  leave 
you !  "  I  was  always  wrong — I  loved  him  so  much, 
having  no  one  but  him. 

We  were  afterwards  separated  when  I  entered  the 
normal  school,  but  we  did  not  lose  sight  of  each  other. 
He  even  came  to  see  me,  although  he  was  then  very 
much  engrossed  by  the  pleasures  of  the  Quartier  Lat- 
in, with  which  he  became  a  little  too  much  intoxica- 
ted. Ah!  well,  in  spite  of  that  became  to  the  in- 
firmary of  the  school  to  see  his  little  old  man. 

Such  things  are  not  forgotten.  The  sickness  I 
had  on  entering  the  normal  school  was  caused  by  the 
over-work  I  had  imposed  on  myself  during  my  last 
years  at  the  college.  My  mind  was  so  slow,  and  I 
had  so  many  barriers  to  surmount  before  I  could  be 
a  professor !  Thank  God,  the  prize  I  won  in  mathe- 
matics gained  me  protectors  ;  my  uncle  Babolain,  who 
came  to  see  me  crowned,  slipped  ten  francs  into  my 
hand,  the  mayor  of  the  city  embraced  me,  and  pub- 
licly spoke  of  the  future  due  to  my  talents.  If  he 
had  known  by  what  terrible  exertions  I  had  obtained 
that  crown,  he  would  have  doubted  my  talents  as 
much  as  I  did  myself.  However  that  may  be,  the 
excellent  man  semi-officially  promised  me  a  pension 
of  three  hundred  francs,  if  the  city,  which  was  already 
greatly  involved  in  debt  in  consequence  of  the  re- 
pairs of  its  sewers,  could  undertake  this  new  burden. 

The  good  city  never  could  !  However,  I  was  au- 
thorized to  remain  at  the  college  in  the  capacity  of 
usher,  which  enabled  me  to  prepare  for  my  examina- 
tion without  having  recourse  to  any  one's  charity. 


B ABO  LAIN.  1 1 

I  had  a  charming  little  room,  high  up  under  the  old 
roof.  True,  its  temperature  was  torrid  in  summer, 
and  freezing  in  winter,  but  through  the  little  dormer 
window  I  could  see  the  sky  between  two  tall  brick 
chimneys,  the  tossing  branches  of  an  old  poplar  tree 
— and  at  night  what  superb  moonlight  effects  there 
were  upon  the  old  roofs  !  In  this  lodging  I  have  ex- 
perienced the  purest  and  most  perfect  joys  of  my 
life.  I  had  dazzling  visions  of  happiness  by  the  light 
of  the  little  confessional  lamp  the  almoner  had  given 
me,  and  whose  wick  I  was  obliged  to  raise  with  a  nail, 
the  machinery  being  broken.  The  goal  seemed  to  be 
drawing  near.  I  caught  glimpses  of  the  beloved 
diploma,  a  hundred  times  more  desirable  than  the 
throne  of  France.  Happiness  is  really  desire  and 
hope  ;  the  thing  ardently  wished  for  is  only  a  coarse 
canvas  which  the  man  embroiders  according  to  his 
fancy:  the  enjoyment  is  in  the  act  of  embroidering, 
the  needle  is  of  gold  or  steel,  the  threads  of  wool  or 
silk,  the  tapestry  may  be  large  or  small,  insignificant 
or  wonderful,  what  does  it  matter  ?  The  man  has  en- 
joyed the  more  the  larger  portion  of  himself  he  has 
put  into  his  work,  the  greater  the  number  of  stitches 
in  which  he  has  left  a  fragment  of  his  Ufe. 

Perhaps  it  would  have  been  better  if  my  efforts 
had  been  less  passionate ;  I  should  not  have  fallen 
sick  when  I  entered  the  normal  school,  and  my  suc- 
cesses being  less  rapid,  I  should  not  have  been  blinded 
by  the  foolish  pride  which  took  possession  of  me.  I 
believed  myself  a  remarkable  person,  and  at  the 
same  time  the  wounds  of  former  days  re-opened  with 
still  greater  pain  than  in  the  past ;  for  in  becoming  a 
mathematician  I  had  not  changed  either  my  manner 
or  my  face.  The  jeers  of  the  normal  school,  though 
less  brutal  than  those  of  the  college,  were  no  less 
cutting ;  on  the  contrary,  they  were  directed  with  a 
surer  hand,  attacked  more  accurately  and  penetrated 
deeper. 


12  BABOLAIN. 

I  had  now  had  too  unexceptionable  proofs  of 
my  intelligence — not  to  believe  myself  very  witty, 
and  although  it  cost  my  timidity  dear,  I  tried  to  de- 
fend myself  and  bring  the  laughers  over  to  my  side. 
I  was  to  be  pitied.  It  must  be  confessed  that  my 
face  ill  suited  my  subtle  retorts :  never  was  mirror  of 
the  soul  more  intractable  than  mine.  My  unlucky 
features  were  like  the  keys  of  an  old  worn-out  harp- 
sichord, from  which  Liszt  himself  could  have  drawn 
nothing  but  discordant  sounds  only  fit  to  make  every 
body  run  away. 

Moreover,  I  had  other  vexations,  having  reached 
that  troublesome  age  when  new  horizons  open  be- 
fore the  mind,  and  the  soul  is  assailed  by  an  indefin- 
able restlessness.  The  triumphant  air  of  Timol6on, 
whom  I  saw  at  rare  intervals,  the  studied  elegance  of 
his  dress,  the  pleasures  of  his  life,  which  he  reveal- 
ed with  coquettish  reticence,  inspired  me  with  min- 
gled terror  and  jealousy.  I  knew  very  well  that  his 
life  could  not  be  mine,  but  none  the  less  did  I  divine 
from  it  a  world  of  emotions  whose  existence  my  in- 
nocence had  never  before  imagined,  and  which  at- 
tracted while  terrifying  me.  The  desire  to  conceal 
my  agitation  augmented  my  shyness.  On  the  few  hol- 
idays my  labor  allowed  me,  having  neither  relatives  nor 
friends  to  visit,  I  wandered  through  the  great  city  of 
Paris,  with  dilated  nostrils  and  sparkling  eyes,  ever 
ready  to  shudder ;  it  seemed  as  if  my  person  would 
attract  every  glance,  that  everybody  would  read  in 
me — where  will  pride  hide  itself — and  in  this  crowd 
where  no  one  knew  me,  my  constant  care  was  to  pre- 
serve my  incognito. 

Ah  !  well,  in  spite  of  all  this,  or  perhaps  because 
of  it,  I  was  always  attracted  towards  the  most  fre- 
quented places.  Aristocratic  elegance  intoxicated 
me  with  admiration.  I  watched  it  as  a  hunter  lies  in 
wait  for  his  game.  At  certain  moments,  I  believe  I 
would  have  given  my  prize  for  mathematics  and  my 


BABOLALV.  1 3 

title  as  a  student  in  the  normal  school,  to  be  one  of 
the  horsemen  I  saw  riding  down  the  avenue  of  the 
Champs  Elys^es  at  a  hand-gallop ;  to  possess  the 
natural  grace,  the  ease,  the  courtly  bearing,  no  labor 
can  acquire ;  to  mingle  with  the  brilliant  society  I  de- 
voured with  my  eyes — from  a  great  distance,  as  I 
walked  along  the  dark,  damp  avenue  which  borders 
the  terrace  of  the  Tuileries.  My  heart  bounded  in 
its  ugly  case,  and  all  the  women — yes  all,  seemed  to 
possess  a  superhuman  beauty. 

Sometimes  the  temptation  to  approach  them  was 
so  great  that,  buttoning  my  coat  with  a  resolution  I 
thought  heroic,  I  penetrated  into  the  very  centre  of 
the  crowd.     My  situation  then  became  intolerable. 

I  was  like  a  man  walking  through  fireworks  with 
a  pack  of  hounds  at  his  heels.  I  thought  I  heard 
bursts  of  laughter  falling  in  showers  upon  my  head, 
felt  every  eye  fixed  upon  me,  caught  my  legs  in  the 
children's  hoops,  stepped  upon  dresses,  jostled  old 
gentlemen,  and  abashed  and  flurried,  fled  back  into 
the  dark  avenue  from  whence  I  ought  not  to  have 
emerged. 

It  might  be  supposed  that  after  this  I  should  wish 
for  nothing  but  some  lonely  spot  in  which  to  hide 
my  shame  ;  but  this  was  not  what  I  felt :  scarcely  had 
I  left  these  enchanting  scenes  when  I  once  more 
breathed  freely,  my  step  regained  its  assurance,  and 
I  discovered  treasures  of  audacity  within  my  soul. 
"  Ah  !  next  time  I  certainly  will  not  be  so  foolish  !  " 

I  have  spent  my  life  in  repeating  this  simple  little 
phrase. 

When  we  have  manipulated  mathematical  ab- 
stractions a  long  time,  the  formula  becomes  the  gold- 
en key  that  unlocks  all  secret  places,  those  of  the 
heart  as  well  as  others,  and  we  always  have  this  gold- 
en key  hung  around  our  necks.  Quietly  and  logic- 
ally we  make  ourselves  infallible,  and  then  go  forth 
into  the  world  with  our  caps  on-  our  heads,  and  a  piece 


14  BABOLAIN. 

of  chalk  in  our  hands,  ready  to  make  a  positive  in- 
ventory and  note  down  the  emotions. 

Although  too  hesitating  and  timid  to  give  way  to 
this  eccentricity  entirely,  I  was  not  wholly  a  stranger 
to  it  J  once  in  the  school  again,  I  regained  my  former 
place,  the  air  I  breathed  possessed  an  indefinable 
power  to  strengthen  me  ;  I  saw  things  from  a  higher 
stand-point ;  was  no  longer  suffocated  by  feeling,  but 
conquered  it ;  and  the  impressions  I  had  received 
from  without  seemed  like  physiological  accounts, 
like  the  different  terms  of  an  equation  to  be  solved. 
The  realization  of  my  mad  aspirations  was  nothing 
more  than  a  problem,  like  any  other,  which  could  not 
long  perplex  an  intellect,  trained  as  mine  had  been,  to 
the  processes  of  an  infallible  logic,  and  I  said  to 
myself  ;  "  To  be  also  a  man  of  the  world  and  take  my 
share  in  these  tempting  delights,  what  is  the  sum  total 
of  all  I  need  ?  A  new  hat,  and  a  pair  of  gloves, 
nothing  more." 

Thank  God,  I  was  delivered  from  this  absurd  pre- 
occupation of  mind  by  my  examination,  which  I 
passed  very  creditably,  and  immediately  after  which,  I 
was  appointed  professor  of  mathematics  at  Carcas- 
sonne. 

The  emotion  I  felt  in  the  diligence  which  convey- 
ed me  to  my  own  new  post  can  be  understood  only 
by  conquerors.  It  is  impossible  to  be  more  vain- 
glorious than  I  was  then.  Of  course  the  whole  city 
was  expecting  me,  and  people  were  saying  to  each 
other:  "  Is  he  tall  or  short,  handsome  or  ugly  ?  " 

I  decided  beforehand  upon  my  manner  and  the 
phrases  I  would  use  when  I  entered  the  principal's 
study,  and  practised  the  intonations  of  my  voice 
amid  the  rattling  of  the  carriage  which  served  as  an 
accompaniment.  It  was  all  lost  trouble  :  my  arrival 
at  Carcassone  was  as  far  from  being  a  triumphal  one 
as  possible.  In  a  pouring  rain,  which  somewhat 
damped  my  enthusiasm  and  drenched   my  clothes 


BABOLAIN.  1 5 

through  and  through,  I  followed  the  porter  who  had 
taken  possession  of  my  little  trunk.  Without  the 
slightest  hesitation  he  conducted  me  to  a  second- 
rate  inn,  where,  on  the  strength  of  my  appearance, 
they  instantly  gave  me  a  room  in  the  garret,  although 
I  had  been  unable  to  resist  the  pleasure  of  writing  on 
my  trunk :  Monsieur  Babolain,  professor  in  the  col- 
lege of  Carcassonne  ! 

The  series  of  disenchantments  to  which  I  was 
forced  to  submit  were  not  sufficient  to  wholly  dispel 
my  intoxication  ;  in  vain  did  my  pupils  receive  me 
with  most  indecorous  hilarity;  in  vain  did  the  princi- 
pal, a  man  of  superb  physique,  measure  me  from 
head  to  foot  for  three  good  minutes  without  conceal- 
ing the  surprise  excited  by  my  personal  appearance — 
in  spite  of  all  this  I  remained  a  conqueror ;  I  reso- 
lutely grasped  my  sceptre,  and  began  my  course  of 
lectures  ;  I  wished  to  have  it  surpass  all  expectations. 

These  occupations  and  the  prodigious  inflation  of 
my  pride,  which  prevented  me  from  distrusting  my 
powers,  momentarily  delivered  me  from  my  worldly 
dreams ;  and  it  was  only  towards  the  close  of  the 
first  year  of  my  professorship  that  the  moral  restless- 
ness, from  which  I  had  suffered  at  school,  again  mani- 
fested itself:  my  career  had  henceforth  no  farther  ob- 
stacles for  me  ;  in  spite  of  the  want  of  discipline 
among  my  pupils  ;  my  course  of  lectures  was  highly 
esteemed,  I  was  established  in  life,  I  had  a  title,  a 
situation,  my  glance  was  steady,  my  judgment  infal- 
lible, I  already  possessed  a  pre-arranged  system  in 
regard  to  human  passions — in  short,  I  had  gloves ! 
Had  not  the  moment  come  for  me  to  penetrate  into 
the  ideal  of  life,  to  loose  the  reins  of  my  heart,  which 
was  still  bounding  unsubdued,  unhappy  heart!  and 
take  my  share  of  the  pleasures  of  this  world  ? 

Yes,  the  moment  had  indeed  come.  At  the  slight- 
est wish  I  might  manifest  for  them,  the  invitations 
which,  until  now,  I  had  not  dared  to  accept,  would 


1 6  B ABO  LAIN. 

certainly  be  renewed  ;  the  families  of  my  pupils  would 
eagerly  receive  me  ;  the  principal,  the  mayor,  and 
many  others  would  stand  upon  their  thresholds  with 
smiling  lips  to  welcome  me;  I  felt  assured  that  I  had 
only  to  present  myself. 

My  sentimental  walks  began  anew,  but  were  dis- 
turbed by  very  different  causes  from  those  of  former 
days,  for  1  was  now  well  known  in  the  city — my  per- 
sonal appearance  was  not  one  of  those  which  can 
pass  unobserved — notoriety  overwhelmed  me. 

This  provincial  city  with  its  meannesses,  certainly 
is  not  the  theatre  which  is  suited  to  me,  I  thought  to 
myself,  and  regretted  Paris, where  I  should  have  been 
less  noticed,  more  master  of  myself,  less  laughed  at 
in  case  of  failure.  On  that  vast  stage  I  might  have 
been  able  to  work  my  way  into  the  crowd,  and  enter 
society  without  attracting  too  much  attention — my 
diffidence  was  returning.  Providence  was  pleased 
by  it,  for  one  morning  I  received  a  huge  letter  stamp- 
ed with  the  seal  of  the  ministry,  and  containing  my 
appointment  as  titulary  professor  in  the  college  of 
Saint  Louis. 

While  strapping  my  valise  to  return  to  the  capital, 
I  said  to  myself:  "  If  only  fate  does  not  have  too 
heavy  a  hand,  and  pledge  the  future  by  the  excess  of 
its  present  favors."  I  was  terrified.  How  much  more 
so  should  I  have  been  if  I  could  have  known  what 
was  reserved  for  me  in  the  immediate  future  !  I  still 
shudder  when  I  think  of  the  violence  of  the  blow  by 
which  I  was  overwhelmed. 

I  had  been  in  Paris  two  or  three  months,  and 
taken  possession  of  my  new  professorship,  when  sud- 
denly, without  any  one's  having  the  least  anticipa- 
tion of  it,  my  uncle  Babolain,  the  vine-dresser  of 
Beaugency,  stumbled  and  glided  into  the  tomb,  leav- 
ing me,  very  involuntarily,  an  income  of  at  least 
twenty-five  thousand  livres.  I  was  the  only  relative 
of  the  deceased,  and  he  had  made  no  will. 


BABOLAIN.  17 

Stronger  heads  than  mine  might  have  been  shak- 
en J  at  first  I  was  thunder-struck,  then  like  a  snail 
that  has  been  startled,  began  to  feel  my  way,  while  a 
pleasant  warmth  pervaded  my  frame  from  head  to 
foot,  and  I  seemed  to  myself  like  a  man  who,  stun- 
ned without  being  wounded,  on  regaining  his  senses 
stretches  himself  in  a  nice  soft  bed.  Poor  uncle 
Babolain ! 

After  the  delicious  calm  that  followed  the  first 
shock,  the  intoxication  of  such  wealth  suddenly  burst 
forth  ;  I  had  not  previously  understood  that  the  doors 
of  a  brilliant  future  were  thrown  wide  open  before  me. 
Henceforth  I  was  tall,  I  was  handsome,  I  was  strong, 
did  I  know  exactly  what  I  was  now  ?  I  seized  my 
cane,  pulled  my  hat  over  my  eyes  without  any  of  the 
caution  habitual  to  me,  and  went  out  to  breathe  the 
fresh  air.  Paris  no  longer  wore  the  same  aspect,  I 
possessed  it  all,  how  many  surprises  and  delights  I 
was  going  to  enjoy. 

Yet  the  devilish  critical  judgment,  the  gift  of  ex- 
act analysis  that  would  never  lie  dormant  in  my  brain, 
made  me  perceive  that  I  was  entering  a  ridicu- 
lous path,  but  it  was  in  a  manner  so  confused 
that  it  did  not  wound  me ;  it  seemed  as  if  to  a  certain 
extent  my  critical  intellect  bore  a  grudge  against  all 
humanity,  so  that  while  looking  at  apple-green  cravats 
and  Russia  leather  dressing  cases  in  the  shop  win- 
dows, I  was  humming:  *'  Man  is,  really,  nothing  but 
a  box  of  follies,  really,  really.'' 

When,  after  taking  a  great  many  steps,  I  again 
found  myself  in  my  humble  little  room  seated  before 
a  large  bag  of  crowns  I  had  brought  from  the  bank 
myself — at  that  time  gold  did  not  run  about  the 
streets — I  thrust  my  hands  into  my  pockets  and  began 
to  philosophize.  I  would  no  longer  be  the  dupe  of 
my  emotions  like  any  ordinary  parvenu  ;  I  intended 
to  be  ignorant  of  no  portion  of  my  character,  to 
keep  the  reins  and  whip  in  my  own  hands,  and  not  let 
2 


1 8  B ABO  LAIN. 

my  horses  mount  into  the  driver's  seat.  What  have 
I  done,  I  said  to  myself,  to  deserve  this  wealth,  which 
perhaps  might  have  turned  my  head  if  I  had  not  been 
a  man  of  science  and  sound  reasoning  faculties; 
what  have  I  done  to  deserve  these  dangerous  favors  ? 
On  the  whole,  I  have  been  no  more  unfortunate  than 
others  ;  or  at  least  many  others  have  been  more  un- 
fortunate than  I.  Well,  well,  let  us  analyze  ( I  al- 
ways distrusted  my  first  impulse),  let  us  analyze ; 
thanks  to  my  nature,  which  is  good  at  bottom,  very 
good,  I  have  always  known  how  to  find  the  best  side 
of  things,  avoid  useless  complaints,  and  content  my- 
self with  almost  nothing.  How  many  people  in  my 
place  would  have  cursed  their  fate !  I  must  acknow- 
ledge that  my  childhood  was  a  little — hard — terribly 
hard — what  horrible  years  I  had  been  forced  to  en- 
dure !  Have  I  ever  had  in  my  life  any  pleasures 
worthy  of  the  name  ?  No,  never.  You  have  never  en- 
joyed yourself,  my  poor  Babolain,  and  my  past  moved 
rapidly  before  my  mind.  I  remembered  the  long 
damp  galleries  of  the  college  and  the  school,  the 
gloomy  walls,  the  grated  windows,  the  toiling  like  a 
galley  slave,  my  obstinate  struggles,  and  the  cruel  isola- 
tion during  the  holidays  while  my  companions  were 
happy  with  their  relatives.  Had  I  forgotten  the  jeers, 
the  abuse,  my  poverty,  my  perplexities  ?  Must  I  not 
have  possessed  a  certain  nobility  of  nature,  must  not 
my  heart  have  been  incapable  of  rancor  or  jealousy 
to  have  the  proximity  of  all  these  people,  who  were 
so  much  happier  than  myself,  disturb  me  no  more  ;  to 
enable  me  to  remain  the  friend  of  Timol6on,  for  in 
stance,  who  was  such  a  privileged  character?  He 
was  tall,  strong,  and  handsome  ;  I  was  short,  puny,  and 
ill-formed.  He  was  rich,  flattered,  petted  ;  I  roughly 
used.  I  was  poor ;  he  made  game  of  me,  and  yet 
for  years  I  wrote  his  translations  and  exercises,  and 
solved  his  problems.    Did  he  even  thank  me .''     Great 


BABOLAIN.  19 

God,  how  many  troubles  !  To  be  frank,  Providence 
really  owes  me  some  compensation. 

I  opened  my  bag,  took  out  a  handful  of  coins, 
filled  all  my  pockets  with  them,  and  went  out  to  get 
my  breakfast  at  a  famous  restaurant. 

I  had  not  reached  the  end  of  the  street  when  I 
stopped  short  and  said  to  myself:  "Can  I,  by  chance, 
have  a  base  soul,  is  it  possible  that  I  am  already  con- 
taminated 1  I,  who  wish  to  read  the  hearts  of  others, 
what  is  taking  place  in  my  own  ?  I  have  been  a  rich 
man  only  a  week,  and  already  I  am  making  a  pedes- 
tal of  imaginary  woes  to  prove  to  myself  that  this 
fortune  is  a  reparation  which  is  owed  me."  1  was 
shocked.  "  Well,  wretch,"  I  added,  striking  myself  on 
the  chest,  "  you  shall  breakfast  on  a  roll  this  morning." 

I  turned  abruptly  to  the  right  and  entered  a  ba- 
ker's shop. 

A  thin  pale  woman,  accompanied  by  two  children, 
was  in  the  shop  standing  with  downcast  eyes  before 
the  baker's  wife,  whu  was  saying  in  a  very  loud  tone : 
"  I'm  sorry,  but  you've  already  got  round  me  too  of- 
ten.    What  does  Monsieur  want  ?  " 

"  I  thought  my  husband  would  get  about  sooner," 
replied  the  poor  woman  ;  "  when  he  is  able  to  work 
again,  we'll  pay  you  for  everything." 

"  Oh  !  yes,  you've  no  lack  of  good  reasons,  I 
know  that  very  well,  but  if  I  hadn't  been  ridiculously 
tender  hearted  I  shouldn'  t  have  opened  an  account 
with  you,  and  you  wouldn't  have  run  in  debt  to  me. 
I  ought  to  refuse  for  your  own  good.  It  is  really  for 
your  good,  it  is  for  their  good.  Monsieur." 

"  Does  she  owe  you  much  money  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  For  her,  yes  Monsieur  ;  she  owes  me  twenty-five 
or  thirty  francs.  How  can  these  people  pay  thirty 
francs  ?" 

"  Here  they  are,"  said  I,  placing  the  six  crowns  1 
had  put  into  my  pocket,  on  the  counter,  and  hastily 
making  my  escape,  for  my  position  was  very  embar- 


20  B ABO  LAI  IV. 

rassing :  might  it  not  be  supposed  that  I  had  done 
this  merely  from  pride,  and  to  make  a  parade  of  my 
money,  when  it  was  only  from  indignation  against 
myself?  I  walked  on,  murmuring:  "Have  you  ever 
wanted  bread,  fool,  wretch,  scoundrel,  parvenu  ? " 

The  pale  woman  who  had  followed  me,  cried : 
"  My  good  gentleman,  my  good  gentleman,  pray  let 
me  thank  you." 

I  stopped  short  and  said  in  a  stern  tone :  "  I  am 
not  a  good  gentleman." 

"  Oh  !  God  will  reward  you." 

Hastily  and  angrily  I  put  all  the  money  I  had  left 
into  her  hand,  and  then  tied  to  find  some  secluded 
spot  where  I  could  analyze  the  sensations  I  had  just 
experienced. 

On  the  whole,  prosperity  was  a  long  time  in  re- 
storing calmness  to  my  mind  ;  it  even  seemed  to  me 
that  1  had  never  been  more  agitated  by  these  alterna- 
tions of  confidence  and  terror,  in  which  my  Ufe  was 
wasting  away. 

The  more  ardent  my  desires  became,  the  less  pos- 
sible seemed  their  practical  realization.  My  critical 
judgment  clearly  proved  to  me  that  in  the  lofty  posi- 
tion in  which  I  now  found  myself,  my  ridiculous  in- 
experience was  a  more  formidable  obstacle  than  ever : 
1  was  no  longer  permitted  to  be  a  simpleton  and  excite 
laughter ;  it  was  too  late  to  run  the  risk  of  a  first  ap- 
pearance ;  precisely  because  I  had  solid  theories  con- 
cerning the  play  of  human  passions,  I  dreaded  the 
consequences  of  my  smallest  actions  the  more.  I 
would  fain  have  meddled  with  these  questions  of  the 
heart,  in  which  I  was  longing  to  show  myself,  but  I 
feared  lest  I  should  be  awkward,  compromise  my- 
self, and  cover  myself  with  shame.  In  that  case 
should  I  not  have  been  like  a  commander-in  chief 
who  dishonored  his  epaulettes  by  obstinately  making 
the  attack  at  the  wrong  time.  'J'he  few  timia  attempts  I 
made  to  come  out  of  mv  shell  had  no  other  result  than 


BABOLAIN.  2 1 

to  lead  me  to  re-enter  as  fast  as  possible  the  accursed 
prison  where  I  was  beginning  to  devour  myself. 

In  the  first  hours  of  my  delight  I  had  hired  on  the 
Quai  Voltaire  a  large  suite  of  apartments  in  accord- 
ance with  my  position,  but  before  taking  possession, 
when  in  imagination  I  saw  myself  with  my  small  figure 
and  insignificant  air,  wandering  through  the  great 
drawing  room;  when  I  heard  the  sneering  laughter  of 
my  valet  and  my  cook;  when  I  thought  of  all  the 
ridiculous  things  that  would  be  rendered  conspicuous 
by  this  magnificent  frame,  I  instantly  took  a  sheet  of 
blank  paper,  and  gave  notice  that  I  should  not  want 
the  rooms  after  the  end  of  the  quarter. 

It  was  the  same  with  everything  else. 

Even  my  dress  occasioned  me  unheard-of  per- 
plexities. 1  had  a  quantity  of  new  clothes  in  which  I 
had  never  ventured  to  go  out,  and  whatever  care  I 
might  take  in  arranging  every  detail  of  my  toilet,  it 
was  very  seldom  that  on  perceiving  me,  kind-hearted 
Timoleon,  whom  I  had  met  again  more  briUiant  than 
ever,  did  not  say,  shouting  with  laughter :  "  Have  you 
got  yourself  up  for  a  scarecrow,  my  little  old  man  ? " 
The  words  were  harsh,  but  perfectly  excusable  from 
his  lips :  he  had  such  exquisite  taste  in  dress.  What 
a  charming  cavalier  1  How  bewitching  he  was  with 
his  follies,  his  ease,  and  his  mirth!  I  do  not  mean  to 
say  that  I  was  jealous,  but  he  always  left  me  a  little 
more  thoughtful  than  before.  About  this  time  he 
often  borrowed  small  sums  of  me.  I  was  always 
troubled  about  it,  I  grieved  that  he  should  have  to  ask 
me  for  these  trifles ;  it  did  not  seem  to  be  in  the 
natural  order  of  things  that  he  should  be  under  obli- 
gations to  me.  He  dazzled  me,  I  was  always  timid 
in  his  presence.  Doubtless  that  is  why  I  never  dared 
to  confess  my  sorrows  and  suiferings  to  him.  Yet  I 
think  he  guessed  them,  for  he  once  said  to  me : 
"How  foolish  you  are,  not  to  be  happy,  ray  little  old 
man." 


22  B ABO  LAIN. 

"  But  I  am  happy,  my  dear  fellow,  very  happy." 
"  You  !  Can't  one  read  perturbation,  anxiety,  con- 
straint in  your  whole  person,  your  words,  your  move- 
ments, your  face,  which  is  wrinkled  like  an  apple, 
nay  even  in  your  outlandish  costume.  Comical  fel- 
low !  "  He  looked  at  me  steadily  a  few  seconds,  and 
then  continued :  "You  are  clumsy  and  bold,  simple 
and  complicated,  artless  and  assuming,  intelligent 
and  very  stupid.  You  won't  bear  me  a  grudge,  I  am 
going  to  run  away." 

Bear  him  a  grudge  !     He  must  have  really  loved 
me  to  have  taken  the  trouble  to  watch  me  so  closely. 


III. 

A  short  time  before  the  year  1830  the  garden  of 
Luxembourg  was  an  immense  park,  with  cool  dark 
avenues,  separated  from  the  nursery,  still  called  the 
Close  of  the  Carthusian  friars,  by  a  small  low  wall 
upon  which  I  liked  to  rest  my  elbows.  From  this  point 
one  could  overlook  the  whole  enclosure.  A  pleasant 
odor  pervaded  the  air  and  came  to  you  in  whiffs;  the 
pear  and  apple  trees  groaned  under  the  weight  of 
their  fruit ;  the  clematis  and  bind  weed  climbed  over 
the  hawthorn  ;  and  the  vegetables  grew  wonderfully. 
Under  the  roof  of  the  well,  a  philosophic  horse,  with 
bandaged  eyes  and  pensive  mien,  turned  a  crank,  the 
water  Howed  into  distant  trenches,  and  you  could  see 
a  fine  rain  issue  from  the  red  copper  watering  pots 
and  fall  upon  the  cabbage  leaves  with  a  noise  that  re- 
sembled I  he  distant  roll  of  a  drum. 

After  sunset,  when  the  bluish  tints  of  evening  be- 
gan to  envelope  all  nature,  this  Close,  which  the  Car- 
thusians seemed  to  have  left  only  the  evening  before, 
had  an  irresistible  charm.  Moreover,  nothing  checked 
the  vagrancy  of  the  imagination  :  the  coaches  and 
miserable  one  horse  ciiaises  of  Fontenay-aux-Roses, 


B ABO  LAIN.  23 

whose  stand  was  in  the  old  Rue  d'Enfer,  had  ceased 
their  rattUng— it  seemed  as  if  one  was  a  hundred 
leagues  from  Paris.  The  Rue  de  I'Ouest  then  resem- 
bled a  road  laid  out  tlirough  the  open  country ;  the 
houses  on  it  were  very  much  scattered,  small,  and 
buried  in  foliage;  everything  was  calm,  quiet,  restful. 
What  a  peaceful  life  the  good  Carthusians  must  have 
led! 

Sometimes  I  fancied  I  could  see  them  and  their 
monastery :  yonder  was  the  mill  upon  its  little  emi- 
nence overlooking  the  corn-fields,  there  the  cemetery 
where  the  priests  came  to  meditate,  the  empurpled 
vineyard,  the  huge  trellises,  and  large  cool  cellars  cov- 
ered with  tiles  and  thatched,  and  among  all  these 
things  the  friars  with  their  long  beards  and  shaven 
crowns,  raking  the  hay,  or  devoutly  tying  up  the  salad. 

This  dream  was  dispelled  by  the  murmurs  of  the 
violins  at  the  Grande- Chaumiere,  from  whence  the 
sound  of  joyous  rigadoons  was  borne  by  the  west 
wind.  Meantime  the  cows,  indifferent  to  these  gaye- 
ties,  slowly  approached  the  little  wall,  and  their  driver 
ascending  the  steps  of  the  staircase  in  his  large 
wooden  shoes,  took  through  the  grating  the  bowls  the 
lovers  of  good  milk  eagerly  held  out  to  him. 

On  this  evening  I  perceived  among  the  group  of 
milk  drinkers  a  tall,  broad-shouldered  young  gentle- 
man, whom  I  recognized  immediately.  His  delicate 
moustache  was  boldly  twisted,  his  fair  curling  locks 
fell  upon  the  velvet  collar  of  his  closely  fitting  over- 
coat, which  buttoned  very  high  in  the  neck,  his  light 
light-colored  pants  extended  in  the  shape  of  a  gaiter 
over  a  very  pointed  boot ;  a  huge  silk  handkerchief 
fluttered  around  his  neck,  and  a  large  black  felt  hat 
with  slightly  rolling  brim  gave  this  handsome  young 
fellow  the  air  of  a  cavalier  of  the  time  of  Louis 
XIII. ,  who  had  accidentally  stepped  from  his  frame. 

Before  and  very  near  him,  for  the  gentleman  was 
gaining  ground  every  instant,  stood  a  young  girl  with 


24  BABOLAIN. 

a  retroussde  nose  and  sparkling  eyes.  She  had  placed 
her  work  basket  on  the  top  of  the  wall,  and  with  up- 
raised arms  and  head  thrown  back  was  drinking  some 
milk.  Nothing  could  be  prettier  than  the  blooming 
cheek  and  saucy  little 'nose  half  lost  in  the  snowy 
contents  of  the  cup.  Unperceived  by  any  one,  I 
watched  all  that  passed. 

The  Louis  XIII.  cavalier  was  apparently  murmur- 
ing some  very  interesting  and  amusing  things  into  her 
ear,  for  the  young  girl,  between  two  mouthfuls,  sud- 
denly burst  into  a  fit  of  laughter  which  revealed  her 
white  teeth  and  scarlet  lips,  to  which  the  little  drops 
of  milk  were  still  clinging.  When  the  nectar  was  all 
imbibed,  the  nape  of  her  neck  bent  so  prettily,  and 
her  arms  curved  with  so  much  grace,  that  the  young 
man,  becoming  more  enterprising,  said  to  her  in  a 
louder  voice,  looking  at  her  caressingly,  with  his 
handsome  blue  eyes : 

"  Paque  Dieu !  what  a  charming  ear  to  kiss ! 
Elvire,  my  beauty,  do  you  hear  the  violins  and  flutes  ? 
Let  us  forget  our  sorrows,  and  dance.  Afterwards 
we'll  sup  on  some  root  and  weep  for  love,  will  you, 
fair  lady  ? " 

As  the  grisette  held  her  empty  bowl  in  her  hand, 
the  gentleman  twirled  his  moustache,  and  turning  to- 
wards the  man  in  the  wooden  shoes,  cried  : 

"Holloa!  Master  Orsini,  devil's  innkeeper!  hol- 
loa 1  my  rude  shepherd,  take  this  lady's  cup  instantly." 

While  the  milk  drinkers  murmured  indignantly, 
the  young  girl  said  with  great  dignity  : 

"But  Monsieur,  I  do  not  know  you;  leave  me, 
Monsieur,  leave  me." 

"You  don't  know   me,  Elvire  ?    Ah!  cruel  girl !  " 

"  My  name  is  not  Elvire.  Come,  come,  1  have  had 
enough  of  your  tomfoolery.  I  never  saw  you  before 
in  my  life,  you  take  me  for  somebody  else.  I  am  Mad- 
emoiselle Julie  of  tiie  Passage  Dauphine,  and  you 
shall  know  that  my  character  is  stainless,  Monsieur." 


B ABO  LAIN.  25 

So  saying,  she  took  up  the  basket  she  had  placed 
on  the  wall,  and  went  away  with  a  rapid  step,  full  of 
modesty  and  seductive  grace. 

The  gentleman  was  undoubtedly  going  to  rush 
forward  in  pursuit,  when  he  felt  some  one  pull  him 
by  the  sleeve,  and  turning  angrily,  suddenly  burst  in- 
to a  laugh. 

"  Well !  What  do  you  want  of  me,  you  confound- 
ed little  old  man?" said  he.  "Do  you  happen  to  be 
my  rival  ? " 

"  I  ?  Ah  !  Tiraoleon  !  come  this  way,  I  entreat 
you,  in  the  name  of  our  old  friendship — resist  the 
eagerness  of  passion  for  a  moment ;  I  implore  you 
— my  dear  friend — at  your  age — this  conduct — " 

I  was  very  much  agitated,  for  people  were  looking 
at  us,  and  at  the  same  time,  the  unheard-of  follies  to 
which  Timol6on  had  just  delivered  himself  up,  grieved 
me  deeply.  Perhaps  he  was  going  to  allow  himself 
to  be  dragged  down  one  of  those  fatal  slopes  whose 
full  danger  I  had  measured  in  my  dreams. 

He  suffered  himself  to  be  led  into  the  Avenue  de 
1'  Observatoire,  and  when  we  had  taken  a  few  steps, 
suddenly  placed  his  hand  on  mine,  and  said : 

"  Why  are  you  eating  your  cane  ?  " 

I  really  was  in  the  habit  of  raising  the  head  of 
my  walking  stick  to  my  lips  when  embarrassed.  With- 
out saying  a  word,  I  put  it  under  my  arm. 

"  Good,"  he  continued,  "  and  now  you  are  fidget- 
ing with  your  spectacles.  Do  you  want  to  devour 
them  too  ?  Calm  yourself,  Babolain,  and  explain 
your  scandalous  conduct." 

"  You  know  how  I  love  you,  my  dear  Timoleon. 
Well — I  thought  it  was  my  duty  to  interrupt  you — be- 
ing assured  that  you  would  be  grateful  to  me  after- 
wards— People  were  looking  at  you — I  wanted  to  save 
— in  a  word,  your  dignity  ;  therefore — " 

It  was  with  difficulty  that  I  found  words  to  ex- 
press myself  when  in  Timoleon's  presence,  but  I  was 


26  BABOLAIM, 

Utterly  confounded  when  he  said  in  a  grave,  stern 
tone,  which  I  had  never  heard  from  his  lips : 

"  Monsieur,  you  have  dealt  my  heart  one  of  those 
wounds  which  between  gentlemen — " 

"  Upon  my  honor,  Timoleon,  I  did  not  intend  to 
wound  you." 

"  Good  Heavens,  how  silly  you  are,  little  old  man  ! 
Don't  you  see  I'm  joking.  I  begged  you  not  to  eat 
your  cane." 

"  If  I  had  offended  you,  I  should  be  the  first  to 
apologize,  you  may  be  assured,  for — " 

"  You  are  an  angel  of  frankness  ;  I  love  you  ;  say 
no  more  about  it.  Do  you  know  what  will  cause  me 
a  perpetual  sorrow  ?     The  dryness  of  your  heart." 

Without  asking  myself  if  this  was  also  a  jest,  I 
was  deeply  moved  by  the  accusation.  It  was  false, 
utterly  false,  but  appearances  were  against  me.  He 
pitilessly  continued: 

"  You  are  astonished  because  at  my  age  I  have 
preserved  that  freshness  of  feeling,  that  thirst  for 
tenderness,  that  facility  of  emotion,  which  are  the 
most  precious  treasures  of  the  human  soul.  You  are 
astonished  because  the  velvety  neck  of  the  Elvira 
from  whom  you  have  just  snatched  me  thrilled  my 
heart ;  you  are  amazed  at  all  this,  you  ugly  little  pro- 
fessor, wasting  your  life  in  galloping  around  the  nar- 
row circle  of  practical  realities !  And  suppose,  in 
my  turn,  I  am  amazed  at  your  icy  indifference,  oh ! 
profound  logician,  withered  heart." 

"  But,  my  friend,  I  understand  love,"  I  murmur- 
ed earnestly. 

"  He  understands  love  !  And  he  treats  as  mad- 
men those  who  drink  at  its  vivifying  spring.'  Don't 
you  see,  child,  that  in  this  holy  youthful  ardor,  this 
worship  of  woman,  there  is  something  more  than 
the  pleasure  of  the  senses ;  it  is  the  soaring  of  the 
soul  towards  that  ideal  which  is  a  ray  from  God  Him- 
self." 


B ABO  LAIN.  27 

T  did  not  understand  very  clearly,  but  I  was  en- 
raptured by  Timoleon's  ardent  poesy. 

"  Yes,  I  admit  that  passion,"  said  I — I  was  trying 
to  rise  to  his  height — "  passion  is  a  necessary  power 
in  the  moral  mechanism.  But  just  as  a  body  drawn 
by  two  inverse  attractions — '' 

"  Spare  me  your  scientific  porridge,  Babolain.  I 
am  not,  thank  Heaven,  a  scholar  like  yourself,  capa- 
ble of  putting  God  into  a  formula,  weighing  my  tears 
in  a  pair  of  scaleS,  and  measuring  every  pulsation  of 
my  heart.  I  am  only  a  poor  fellow,  who  is  full  of 
aims  and  weaknesses.  I  have  not  the  self-control  you 
possess,  but  I  have  faith  in  the  Divine  mercy,  and  I 
believe,  like  Pere  Enfantin,  in  the  rehabilitation  of 
the  flesh  ;  like  him,  I  believe  that  all  morality  is  con- 
tained in  the  worship  of  woman,  for  in  her  eyes  we 
shall  see  truth." 

"  Truth  itself  cannot  dispense  with  demonstration, 
and  reasoning  seems  to  me — " 

"  I  reason  with  my  heart.  I  am  one  of  those  per- 
sons who  seek  their  moral  development,  and,  so  to 
speak,  the  purification  of  their  hearts,  in  the  suc- 
cession of  the  different  love  affairs  Providence  sup- 
pHes." 

"  What,  you  have  loved  them  all !  "  I  murmured 
in  amazement,  for  I  had  a  vague  knowledge  of  the 
considerable  number  of  his  successes.  He  answered 
with  perfect  frankness  : 

"  Why,  of  course  I  have  loved  them  all ;  were  it 
not  for  that  I  should  be  the  most  contemptible  of 
rakes.  I  am  one  of  that  class  of  persons  authorized 
by  Pere  Enfantin  to  bind  themselves  only  by  a  suc- 
cession of  momentary  marriages ;  I  condemn  exclu- 
sive alliances,  which  are  the  negation  of  love  and  the 
debasement  of  the  race." 

"  But,  Timoleon,  these  are  strange  theories  which 
must  be  subjected  to  a  severe  analysis,  for  after  all, 
it  is — " 


28  BABOLAIN. 

He  stopped,  clapped  me  roughly  on  the  shoulder, 
and  said : 

"  If  you  want  to  go  in,  you  must  go  and  get  your 
ticket,  little  old  man." 

"  What  ticket,  Timol6on  ?  " 

I  raised  my  head,  for  I  was  absorbed  in  my  reflec- 
tions, and  saw  before  me  a  grave  policeman  in  whose 
helmet,  as  in  a  mirror,  was  reflected  a  whole  pano- 
rama of  orange  trees  and  lanterns.  I  was  standing 
upon  the  very  threshold  of  the  Grande-Chaumiere, 
which  had  always  inspired  me  with  a  secret  terror. 
I  shuddered  from  head  to  foot. 

It  must  be  confessed  that  often,  in  former  days, 
before  entering  the  normal  school,  and  even  after  my 
return  to  Paris,  I  had  followed  the  fast  young  men 
going  to  the  scene  of  their  pleasures  with  a 
troubled  glance;  and  while  wandering  around  this 
infernal  Paradise,  had  seen  above  the  wall  the 
chariot  from  the  Russian  mountains  noisily  bear- 
ing away  a  pair  of  lovers  clasped  in  each  other's 
arms.  I  had  gazed  with  an  eager  eye  down  the  ave- 
nue, carpeted  with  yellow  sand,  and  adorned  with  li- 
lacs and  orange  trees,  at  one  end  of  which  fluttering 
skirts  gleamed  through  a  luminous  cloud.  I  knew 
the  policeman — perhaps  the  father  of  a  family — who 
kept  guard  at  the  door;  I  had  envied  him,  I  had  also 
pitied  him  with  all  my  heart,  while  thinking  of  the 
numberless  temptations  consequent  upon  his  ofiice, 
but  1  swear  upon  my  honor  I  had  never  approached 
him.  My  present  situation  was  even  more  painful : 
I,  titulary  professor  of  the  royal  college  of  Saint- 
Louis,  established  in  the  world,  possessed  of  a  char- 
acter that  claimed  respect,  I  at  the  threshold  of  this 
door ! 

"  Well,  do  you  mean  to  come  in  or  not  ?  You 
are  stopping  the  way,  and  the  policeman  is  getting 
angry." 

1  was  going  to  answer  as  I  ought,  when  two  very 


BABOLAIN.  29 

elegant  ladies,  accompanied  by  a  gentleman,  passed 
rapidly  by  on  the  other  side  of  the  boulevard.  The 
gentleman  looked  at  me  for  a  moment  with  an  ex- 
pression of  doubt,  hesitated  an  instant,  then  turning 
with  a  discreet  smile  waved  his  hand  in  a  friendly  sa- 
lute. 

"  Great  Heavens !  Timoleon,  my  friend,  I  have 
been  recognized,"  I  cried,  pressing  his  arm  violently. 

"  What's  the  matter,  what  is  it,  little  old  man  ?  " 

"  You  see  those  ladies,  who — " 

"  Do  you  know  them  ?  " 

"Who  have  just  passed?  no,  I  don't  know  them." 
I  was  choking. 

"  Well  then  ?  " 

"  I  know  the  gentleman,  it  is  Prudent  de  la  Sarthe. 
Oh !  my  friend." 

«  Prudent  who  ?  " 

«  De  la  Sarthe.     I  am  lost." 

And  I  rushed  after  the  two  ladies  and  their  at- 
tendant cavalier,  to  whom  I  wished  to  prove  my  inno- 
cence. 

When  I  think  over  all  this,  it  seems  astonishing 
that  the  meeting  should  have  so  deeply  disturbed  me. 
Had  I  an  instinctive  premonition  of  the  never  end- 
ing consequences  it  would  entail  upon  me  ? 


IV. 

It  was  at  the  Od6on,  where  I  went  very  often,  that 
I  had  made  the  acquaintance  of  Prudent  de  la  Sarthe, 
a  very  accomplished  man  about  fifty  years  of  age, 
and  a  most  brilliant  conversationalist.  People  called 
him  an  artist,  but  to  tell  the  truth,  I  never  saw  in  his 
studio,  to  which  he  was  so  kind  as  to  admit  me,  either 
brush  or  paints.  His  whole  work  consisted  of  little 
sketches,  which  were  very  remarkable  it  seems,  but  al- 
ways appeared  to  me  extremely  confused.    However, 


30  BABOLAIN. 

my  opinion  is  unimportant,  for  I  was  then  totally  ig- 
norant of  all  questions  relating  to  art.  He  worked 
upon  papers  of  all  colors,  prepared  with  the  utmost 
care.  The  tint  of  these  papers,  their  grain,  their 
thickness,  their  stiffness,  the  quality  of  the  pencils, 
the  composition  of  the  liquids  by  whose  aid  he  ren- 
dered his  work  permanent,  were  a  constant  care  to 
the  skilful  artist,  of  which  he  often  spoke  to  me.  He 
even  asked  one  day  for  special  information  upon  the 
subject  of  an  unchangeable  white,  whose  constituent 
elements  he  had  been  seeking  for  twenty-five  years. 
This  had  not  prevented  him  from  inventing  with  the 
greatest  ease  several  very  ingenious  little  machines : 
pincers  with  springs,  pegs  for  easels,  self-shutting 
pencil-cases,  and  many  other  things  whose  impor- 
tance did  not  at  first  appear.  But  when,  as  a  pro- 
fessional man,  he  discussed  the  importance  of  these 
wonders,  he  did  it  with  so  much  learning  and  author- 
ity, knew  so  well  how  to  call  to  his  aid  the  memory 
of  the  great  masters  and  the  future  of  French  art, 
that  these  questions  suddenly  increased  to  unprece- 
dented proportions,  and  even  the  little  sketches  whose 
execution  had  been  the  cause  of  so  much  research, 
assumed  a  magisterial  importance.  Moreover,  Pru- 
dent de  la  Sarthe  wasthoroughly  well  educated,  court- 
eous, a  man  of  the  world,  protesting  by  the  simplici- 
ty of  his  dress  against  the  extravagant  eccentricities 
of  the  romanticists,  and  priding  himself  very  justly 
on  being  a  wit. 

Having  an  inclination  towards  the  analysis  of 
things,  and  being  gifted,  as  I  have  already  said,  with 
a  critical  judgment,  I  took  great  pleasure  in  this  in- 
structive and  charming  conversation,  which  opened 
horizons  of  art  hitherto  unknown. 

It  was  wonderful  to  see  with  what  intellectual  ease 
he  flitted  from  one  subject  to  another,  and  whether 
he  entered  into  the  study  of  the  works  of  Corneille, 
or  gave  me  curious  hints  regarding  the  manufacture 


BABOLAIN. 


31 


of    drawing  paper   in  the    time    of  Leo  X.,  always 
showed  himself  to  be  a  superior  person. 

True,  at  first  my  somewhat  slow  intelligence  found 
it  difficult  to  follow  the  rapid  changes  of  his.  He 
sometimes  smiled  at  it. 

The  peculiar,  and  to  a  certain  extent,  respectful 
esteem  in  which  I  held  Prudent  de  la  Sarthe,  explains 
the  eagerness  with  which  I  rushed  in  pursuit  of  him 
at  the  time  of  our  meeting  before  the  Grande-Chau- 
miere.  But  in  spite  of  all  my  efforts  it  was  impossi- 
ble for  me  to  find  him  :  the  boulevards  were  then 
very  dimly  lighted,  my  sight  was  poor,  and  doubtless 
there  was  also  some  fatality  about  it.  I  was  com- 
pelled to  return  home  very  sad  and  anxious. 

The  following  morning  I  went  to  his  studio,  but 
he  was  absent ;  and  it  was  not  until  the  third  day  that 
I  met  him  at  the  Odeon,  occupying  his  usual  seat :  I 
took  the  place  beside  him.  He  instantly  held  out 
his  hand  in  a  cordial  manner,  which  somewhat  re- 
stored my  confidence.  I  saw  plainly  that  he  did  not 
despise  me. 

"  Well,  my  young  friend,"  he  said  smilingly  with  a 
bantering  air  that  sent  a  shudder  through  my  whole 
frame,  "how  have  you  been  since  the  other  evening? 
— you  terribly  sad  dog !  "  he  added  confidentially, 
pressing  my  hand  still  more  affectionately. 

"  I  assure  you  upon  my  honor,"  said  I,  "  that  I 
was  there  by  accident,  entirely  by  accident.  You 
must  perceive  that  in  my  position — even  if  my  prin- 
ciples— in  my  position,  I  was  saying,  I  should  not  ex- 
pose myself — certainly  not,  consequently,  —  Good 
Heavens,  I  looked  for  you  for  half  an  hour  to  excul- 
pate myself  in  your  eyes,  to  assure  you  that  chance 
alone — " 

"  All  this  is  a  matter  of  no  consequence,  my  dear 
friend.  Besides,  don't  excuse  yourself  too  much,  for 
this  apparent  escapade  has  done  you  no  harm,  far 
from  it,  in  the  eyes  of  those  two  ladies." 


32  BABOLAIN. 

"  The  two  ladies  who  accompanied  you  ? " 

"  Exactly."  My  friend's  pink,  smooth-shaven 
face  fairly  beamed. 

"  But  then  they  actually  believed  I  was  going  to 
enter  that — " 

The  learned  artist  became  very  grave,  and  with 
that  authority  of  tone  which  no  one  ever  contested, 
murmured,  "One  of  those  ladies  is  Evelina  Paline, 
the  other  is  Esther  Paline,  her  daughter." 

I  waited  an  instant,  hoping  that  he  would  add  a 
few  explanations  to  this  revelation  which  gave  me  no 
information  whatever ;  but  he  remained  silent,  and  I 
replied : 

"  Ah !  indeed,  ah  !  I  did  not  know,  I  did  not  sus- 
pect that  those  ladies — were — My  story  is  both  very 
simple  and  very  extraordinary.  I  met  one  of  my 
friends  in  the  Luxembourg,  and  while  talking  we  fol- 
lowed the  avenue — " 

"  The  fact  is,  that  to  see  them  pass  in  their  simple 
dress,  one  would  not  suspect  that  they  are  two  of  the 
most  distinguished,  the  most  remarkable  women,  not 
only  on  account  of  their  beauty," — he  smiled  mean- 
ingly and  played  with  the  bow  of  his  cravat, — "  but 
far  more  from  their  elevation  of  mind  and  heart, 
their  appreciation  of  art,  their — They  spoke  of  you 
at  least  three  or  four  times  in  the  course  of  the  even- 
ing. You  have  made  a  conquest  of  them,  my  dear 
fellow." 

"  A  conquest  of  them.  I  can't  believe  it — you 
are  certainly  making  fun  of  me."  I  felt  that  I  was 
blushing. 

•'  I  have  so  little  idea  of  joking  that  I  have  given 
my  word  to  introduce  you  to  these  ladies  some  Mon- 
day evening.  Their  receptions  are  not  formal, pre- 
tenious  affairs,  as  you  may  imagine  :  it  is  a  purely 
intellectual  circle.  Artists,  literary  men,  people  of 
taste  and  culture — a  most  charming  set.  They  dis- 
cuss  painting,   music,  art,  take  a  cup    of  tea,  and 


BABOLAIAT.  33 

that  is  all.  Seriously,  I  have  promised  to  take  you 
there." 

It  really  seemed  to  me  that  Prudent  de  la  Sarthe 
was  not  making  game  of  me.  The  adventure  was 
marvellous.  "  Why,"  murmured  my  frightful  pride, 
"  why  should  not  these  very  superior  ladies  have  dis- 
covered the  far  from  commonplace  qualities  of  your 
mind  ?  Do  not  your  career,  your  title,  your  position, 
prove  your  moral  worth?  Why  should  this  worth  es- 
cape keen  eyes  ?  These  are  no  frivolous,  ignorant 
fashionable  women,  who  judge  a  man  by  the  cut  of 
his  coat.  Besides,  your  dress  is  perfectly  presenta- 
ble. Come,  Babolain,  incorrigible  trembler,  lift  up 
your  head  at  last,  the  occasion  is  a  solemn  one ;  rise 
to  the  height  of  the  circumstances." 

Pride  told  me  all  this,  so  that  I  answered  with  sur- 
prising ease  :  "  No  one  can  be  more  sensible  of  your 
kindness  than  myself.  The  ladies'  indulgence  over- 
whelms me,  and  I  do  not  know  how  to  tell  you — 
but—" 

"  Oh  !  no  buts.  I  have  given  my  word  ;  you  are 
expected,  and  in  fact  I  came  here  this  evening  solely 
to  look  for  you." 

"  What !  to  look  for  me  ?  It  is  impossible.  Oh  ! 
no,  no — To  look  for  me  ? " 

"  Of  course.  Isn't  this  Monday  ?  Take  your  hat, 
the  interval  between  the  acts  is  nearly  over." 

How  was  it  that  resistance  seemed  impossible, 
that  the  impassable  gulf  which  had  always  separated 
me  from  society  was  suddenly  filled  up,  and  having 
taken  my  hat,  I  obediently  followed  the  artist. 

Mme.  Paline  and  her  daughter  occupied  a  very 
plain  house  on  the  Rue  Saint  Sulpice.  On  reaching 
the  door,  my  companion  took  the  lead  and  we  as- 
cended a  narrow,  ill-lighted  staircase  :  I  was  agitated 
as  if  at  the  approach  of  a  formidable  examination  ; 
yet  the  staircase  seemed  like  a  good  omen,  it  could 
only  lead  to  patriarchal  surroundings ;  what. I  dreaded 
3 


34  BAB  0  LAIN. 

most  in  the  world,  was  a  huge  drawing-room  blazing 
with  lights,  and  a  tall  footman  loudly  shouting  my 
name;  a  scene  I  had  often  witnessed  on  the  stage  of 
the  Odeon. 

My  conduct  is  all  marked  out,  I  thought  to  my- 
self, as  I  mounted  the  stairs :  I  must  be  very  simple, 
yet  unaffected  in  my  manners,  a  little  distant,  as  be- 
seems a  learned  man,  but  affable  and  courteous. 

"  The  apartments  occupied  by  these  ladies  are  by 
no  means  stately,"  said  Prudent  de  la  Sarthe,  stop- 
ping before  a  large  watered  ribbon  which  hung  beside 
the  door,  and  served  as  a  bell-rope.  "  Among  artists, 
you  know,  one  does  not  find  the  showy  luxury  with 
which  the  upstarts  of  the  Faubourg  Saint  Honor6 
adorn  themselves ;  but  you  are  a  man  of  sufficient 
taste  to  appreciate  all  that." 

A  fat  cook,  with  a  very  respectable  air,  opened  the 
door  for  us,  and  we  entered  the  ante-chamber.  It  was 
evident  at  once  that  this  was  no  ordinary  dwelling : 
the  window  represented  a  glass  painting  in  the  style  of 
the  middle  ages.  The  walls  were  concealed  under  a 
multitude  of  engravings,  statuettes,  and  articles  of 
every  description ;  and  upon  a  narrow  table,  covered 
with  a  piece  of  black  velvet,  whose  edges,  cut  in  regu- 
lar indentations,  hung  down  all  around  it,  a  rose-col- 
ored candle  was  burning  by  the  side  of  a  pair  of 
snuffers  in  wrought  copper,  on  which  the  sun  of  Louis 
XIV.  was  represented.  Above  the  table  hung  a  Ven- 
etian guitar  and  a  fragment  of  a  cuirass,  while  over- 
coats and  umbrellas  were  piled  in  one  corner. 

I  had  never  seen  anything  of  the  kind,  except  in 
the  curiosity  shops  in  which  I  had  happened  to  glance, 
and  could  not  restrain  a  gesture  of  surprise,  which  did 
not  escape  my  companion's  notice.  "These  ladies 
are  passionately  fond  of  archaiological  souvenirs," 
said  he;  " but  let  us  go  into  the  studio,  they  assemble 
there  because  they  can  talk  more  freely." 

The  noise  of  conversation  proved  in   fact    that 


B ABO  LAIN.  35 

people  were  speaking  without  restraint.  This  studio 
was  distinguished  from  any  ordinary  room  only  by 
the  profusion  of  different  ornaments  accumulated  in 
it.  Scattered  in  every  direction  were  pictures  with- 
out frames,  and  frames  without  pictures,  plaster  hands 
and  feet  suspended  by  strings,  fragments  of  flowered 
stuffs  of  odd  designs  drooping  like  conquered  pen- 
nons, flower-pots,  a  warming-pan  one  or  two  cen- 
turies old,  rusty  swords — all  manner  of  things,  and  on 
the  mantel-piece  a  large  metal  bust,  shining  like  a 
stove  funnel.  Six  or  eight  gentlemen,  the  majority 
of  whom  wore  very  long  hair,  were  looking  at  a  pic- 
ture of  tolerably  large  size,  placed  upon  an  easel. 

Scarcely  had  the  fat  cook  announced  me,  when 
Mme.  Evelina  Paline,  approaching,  held  out  her  hand 
with  the  most  gracious  affability.  I  was  embarrassed 
for  a  moment,  for  I  had  been  unable  to  get  on  the 
thumb  of  my  glove,  and  was  hiding  my  right  hand  in 
the  bottom  of  my  hat ;  but  I  hastily  decided  to  give 
her  my  left,  and  made  a  tolerably  successful  bow. 
"  You  are  very  welcome.  Monsieur,"  said  she  ;  "  pre- 
sented by  our  dear  Prudent  de  la  Sarthe,  you  are 
already  numbered  among  our  friends,"  then  turning 
towards  the  rest  of  the  company,  while  I  was  seeking 
some  appropriate  words  with  which  to  answer  her: 
"  Gentlemen,"  said  she,  "  Monsieur  Babolain,  one  of 
our  most  distinguished  chemists." 

"  No — Madame,  pardon  me — no." 

"  And  modest  too  !  oh  !  we  shall  see." 

It  was  not  modesty,  but  a  very  natural  desire  not 
to  adorn  myself  with  a  title  that  did  not  belong  to  me. 

"  I  have  never  made  any  special  experiments  in 
chemistry,"  I  murmured,  "  never  ;  consequently — " 

"Art  and  science  are  sisters." 

"  Yes,  but  not  being  a  chemist,  I  should  not  like — 
it  would  be  very  painful  to  me  if  people — " 

"  Hush,  hush ;  we  must  not  interrupt  the  meet- 
ing.    The  historical  landscape  my  daughter  intends 


36  BABOLAIN. 

to  send  to  the  Exhibition  this  year  is  now  being  crit- 
icised." 

She  placed  a  finger  covered  with  rings  upon  her 
lips,  and  condescended  to  bestow  upon  me  a  smile 
whose  charm  I  could  not  describe.  This  lady  cer- 
tainly realized  the  type  of  nobility  and  beauty.  I  do 
not  think  I  exaggerate  in  speaking  thus.  A  consid- 
erable amount  of  flesh,  beneath  which  any  ordinary 
woman  would  have  been  overwhelmed,  was  in  her 
only  an  advantage,  an  attraction  the  more.  Covered 
with  lace,  necklaces  and  jewels,  she  glided  over  the 
floor  with  majestic  ease,  while  the  long  train  of  her 
dress  respectfully  followed  her.  Grace  and  elegance 
were  revealed  in  her  slightest  movements.  At  last  I 
was  in  established  social  relations  with  a  woman  of 
the  world ;  I  was  seated  by  her  side ;  she  showed 
sympathy  for  me.  Could  Timol6on,  such  an  excel- 
lent man  in  spite  of  his  follies,  say  as  much  ?  The 
somewhat  fantastic  apartments,  which  had  at  first  sur- 
prised me,  grew  poetic.  It  seemed  impossible  that 
the  unfinished  pictures  by  which  I  was  surrounded 
should  not  possess  great  artistic  value  ;  that  the  objects 
of  every  description  should  not  be  extremely  costly ; 
the  absence  of  all  luxury,  the  want  of  ceremony  that 
reigned  in  the  drawing-room,  gave  it  a  character  whose 
value  could  only  be  appreciated  by  the  fastidious,  and 
persons  initiated  into  all  the  refinements  of  art. 

As  to  Mile.  Esther  Paline,  who  remained  motion- 
less among  her  judges,  my  poor  sight  prevented  my 
seeing  her  distinctly,  and  I  dared  not  take  out  my 
large  eye-glass,  but  it  seemed  to  me  that  she  had  her 
mother's  admirable  profile.  She  was  rather  thin,  as 
well  as  one  could  judge  under  the  immense  dressing- 
gown  of  nacarat  velvet  draped  about  her  figure.  Her 
hair,  carelessly  twisted  on  the  top  of  her  head,  was 
fastened  by  a  huge  shell-comb  put  in  awry. 

While  I  was  trying  to  see  more,  Mme.  Paline  bent 
towards  me  and  murmured : 


BABOLAIN.  37 

"You  will  excuse  us  for  receiving  you  in  our 
studio  costume,  won't  you?  Among  artists  —  my 
Esther  has  been  working  to-day  until  the  very  last 
moment.  She  changed  all  her  first  plans  in  two 
hours." 

I  dared  not  ask  the  meaning  of  these  words,  which 
I  did  not  understand,  and  merely  bowed.  She  con- 
tinued : 

"  The  poor  darling  was  fairly  worn  out.  I  even 
think  she  had  a  slight  feverish  attack; consider  that 
she  was  obliged  to  stop  to  put  it  into  the  frame,  and 
the  abominable  frame  did  not  come.  I  leave  you 
to  imagine  the  state  of  mind  she  was  in !  To-mor- 
row will  be  the  last  day,  as  you  know.  Don't  you 
think  the  dear  child  has  grown  excessively  pale  ? " 
she  added,  raising  an  exquisite  little  pair  of  gold  eye- 
glasses. 

As  my  spectacles  did  not  enable  me  to  form  an 
opinion  upon  Mile.  Esther's  pallor,  I  followed  her  ex- 
ample and  drew  my  glasses  from  my  pocket. 

"  You  are  apparently  very  near-sighted,  like  my- 
self." 

"  Oh !  I  can  see  very  well  now.  Besides,  at  this 
distance  I — " 

"  Exactly  like  me.  My  sight  is  so  variable  that  it 
baffles  all  the  oculists.  That  is  what  made  me  give 
up  painting." 

"  Ah  !  then  you — paint  ?  " 

"  Yes,  yes,  oh  !  a  great  deal ;  without  rising  to  my 
Esther's  genius  however,  but  I  never  felt  the  least 
shadow  of  jealousy  of  her,  the  dear,  beautiful  darling. 
Besides,  as  I  told  you,  my  career  was  destroyed  by 
the  freaks  of  my  sight.  Alas !  we  poor  women  are 
exposed  to  so  many  trials  in  life.  First  the  sorrows 
an  ill-assorted  marriage  entails — " 

A  deep  sigh,  which  was  undoubtedly  the  echo  of 
heavy  griefs,  escaped  her  lips. 

"  The  incessant  tortures  which  stifle  and  crush  art 


38  BABOLAIN. 

as  well  as  science,  demand  the  whole  soul,  my  dear 
Monsieur.  And  then,"  she  added  in  a  confidential 
tone,  "  there  are  some  nervous,  delicate  natures  which 
cannot  bear  the  too  frequent  assaults  of  maternity ;  I 
was  fortunate  not  to  pay  with  my  life  for  trials  beyond 
my  strength,  and  to  get  off  with  this  weakness  of  the 
eyes  which  compels  me  to  wear  glasses  constantly. 
Oh !  I  should  be  three-quarters  dead  if  it  were  not  for 
my  eye-glasses.  Ah !  well,  in  this  world  we  need 
philosophy." 

I    bowed   respectfully.      Meantime  I    had   suc- 
ceeded in  seeing  the  young  artist's  face. 

"  Not  knowing  your  daughter's  usual  complexion," 
said  I,  "  it  is  difficult  for  me  to — " 

"  She  is  the  only  one  left  to  me  of  three  children, 
so  what  I  feel  for  her  is  not  affection,  but  idolatry. 
It  might  be  supposed  that  I  am  proud,  that  her  talent, 
her  reputation — no,  oh  !  no." 

"  Undoubtedly — I  think  she  is  really  rather  pale, 
but  it  is  impossible  for  me  to  know  whether  she  is 
more  so  than  usual,  having  no  standard  of  compari- 
son." 

Mme.  J*aline  started,  and  putting  her  beautiful 
hand  upon  my  arm,  exclaimed : 

"Why  do  you  talk  of  my  Esther's  pallor?  Oh! 
God !  do  you  perceive  any  symptom  of  illness,  any 
alarming  token  ?  Oh  !  speak,  I  implore  you  !  My 
daughter  is  so  beautiful,  so  good  ;  her  soul  is  so  lofty  ! 
Do  not  fear  to  tell  me  all.     I  am  strong." 

Poor  mother  ;  she  was  trembling. 

"  Yes,  I  am  strong.  You  doctors  foresee  the 
future." 

"  But,  Madame,  I  am  no  doctor,  I — " 

"And  it  is  my  affair.  Monsieur,  it  is  my  affair." 

"  I  am  grieved  to  be  the  involuntary  cause  of  your 
emotion,  Madame  ;  I  was  merely  answering  the  ques- 
tion you  did  me  the  honor  to  ask  a  few  moments 
ago.    '  Do  you  not  think  my  daughter  has  grown  some- 


BABOLAIN.  39 

what  pale  from  overwork  ? '  you  said.  I  was  answer- 
ing that." 

"  Ah  !  yes,  pardon  me  ;  am  I  mad  ?  I  still  shud- 
der at  that  idea  of  sickness  ! — I  asked  you  a  ridicu- 
lous, senseless  question — I  don't  know  why  I  talk  to 
you  as  if  you  were  a  friend  of  twenty  years'  standing; 
it  seems  as  if  I  had  always  known  you.  It  is  very 
wrong ;  pardon  me." 

"  Pray  believe,  Madame,  that  the  confidence  with 
which  you  honor  me — " 

It  cannot  be  imagined  how  difficult  it  is  to  finish 
a  sentence  that  has  been  awkwardly  begun.  I  was 
touched  by  Mme.  Paline's  disclosures :  how  much 
feeling  and  delicacy  there  was  in  this  noble  heart,  so 
quick  to  take  the  alarm !  And  the  aristocratic  inco- 
herency  of  this  ever-changing,  brilliant,  delightful  con- 
versation, the  inimitable  grace,  the  simplicity  of  this 
drawing-room,  where  the  most  famous  artists  assem- 
bled !     No,  my  dreams  had  not  reached  this  ideal. 

"  But  let  us  be  quiet,"  murmured  my  companion* 
"  hush !  Cirbec  is  going  to  give  his  opinion  at  last. 
I  am  as  nervous  as  a  child ;  think  of  it,  the  famous 
Cirbec !  A  wonderful  genius,  is  he  not  ?  Hark ! 
hark  !  "  In  fact,  for  at  least  ten  minutes  the  famous 
Cirbec,  with  frowning  brows  and  arms  folded  across 
his  chest,  had  been  looking  at  the  young  girl's  picture. 
Suddenly  he  stretched  out  his  arm  and  said  in  a  deep 
voice : 

"  Good,  very  good." 

"  Don't  you  think,  dear  master,"  said  the  young 
artist,  "  that  I  shall  do  very  well  to  accent  the  waving 
light  that  plays  upon  the  rock." 

Cirbec  took  hold  of  his  chin,  frowned  again,  and 
remained  silent,  while  every  one  awaited  the  decision 
of  the  oracle  in  the  most  perfect  stillness. 

"  The  waving  light,"  he  said  at  last  in  a  hollow 
tone,  "  yes — a  good  idea — I  thought  of  it." 

"  Unless  it  would  be  better  to  leave  out  the  light 


40  BABOLAIN. 

and  the  rock,"  continued  Esther,  biting  her  little 
finger. 

"Right — yes — oh!  oh!  perfect!" 

Having  said  this,  the  great  Cirbec  took  his  hat, 
which  he  had  placed  upon  the  piano,  and  regretfully 
withdrew,  walking  sideways,  and  casting  a  lingering 
glance  at  the  landscape. 

"  Won't  you  take  a  cup  of  tea  or  chocolate  with 
us  ? "  said  Mme.  Evelina  Paline,  moving  away  from 
me. 

"  No,  I  regret  that  I  must  decline.  An  appoint- 
ment with  Cav6  on  business — Monsieur  Thiers  wants 
to  speak  to  me — I  am  very  sorry." 

He  saluted  the  company  with  a  slight  inclination 
of  the  head  and  disappeared,  accompanied  by  the 
two  ladies. 

During  the  absence  of  the  hostesses  I  took  advan- 
tage of  the  fact  that  Mile.  Esther's  picture  was  left  in 
soUtude,  to  approach  it,  and  raising  my  glasses,  I  ex- 
amined it  carefully.  Contrary  to  my  expectation,  it 
was  almost  impossible  for  me  to  understand  what  it 
was  that  I  had  before  me.  Perhaps  in  my  inexperi- 
ence, and  being  embarrassed  by  my  shortsighted- 
ness,! stood  too  near  it,  for  at  one  moment  my  nose 
— I  am  ashamed  of  these  details — struck  against  a 
thick  layer  of  paint,  and  I  experienced  a  strange  sen- 
sation of  dampness. 

Yet  the  approval  of  the  famous  Cirbec,  the  admira- 
tion, the  enthusiasm  of  the  company  did  not  permit 
me  to  have  a  doubt  as  to  the  value  of  the  work.  I 
was  evidently  standing  before  a  very  remarkable 
painting,  but  how  was  I  to  ascertain  its  indisputable 
merit  ?  In  vain  I  fixed  my  attention  upon  it.  Where 
was  the  rock  of  which  they  had  spoken  }  where  was 
the  waving  light  ?  The  sense  of  my  powerlessness 
made  me  suffer  deeply.  What  I  I  had  toiled  dog- 
gedly from  my  early  childhood,  my  mind  was  en- 
riched with  various  knowledge,  my  judgment  formed, 


B  ABO  LAIN.  41 

I  possessed  logic,  a  critical  intellect,  and  yet  I  was 
ignorant  of  a  whole  world.  Were  the  purest  joys  of 
the  human  mind  denied  me  ?  Could  I  not  even  seize 
the  trace  of  the  artistic  feeling,  the  admirable  fire  that 
all  these  people  possessed  ? 

I  was  thinking  thus  when  I  heard  a  sweet  voice 
behind  me,  saying: 

"  You  are  looking  at  my  picture  as  a  connois- 
seur, Monsieur ;  you  are  trying,  I  see,  to  detect  my 
method." 

What  reason  could  I  have  for  trying  to  detect 
methods  ? 

"Oh  !  no,  Mademoiselle,"  I  replied,  dropping  my 
glasses,  and  for  want  of  something  better  to  say,  ad- 
ded, "  Painting  must  be  very  difficult." 

The  young  girl  looked  at  me  with  an  air  of  confi- 
dence and  composure  that  made  me  cast  down  my 
eyes,  then  thrusting  her  hands  into  the  tiny  pockets 
of  her  dress,  answered :  "  Difficult,  oh  !  no.  When 
people  take  to  it,  it  is  the  simplest  thing  in  the  world. 
In  the  first  place  you  need  rabbits'  hairs  ;  that  is  in- 
dispensable. If  you  had  no  rabbits,  or  if  you  were 
in  a  country  where  rabbits  had  no  hair,  painting  could 
not  be  thought  of." 

Not  being  accustomed  to  this  sort  of  jesting,  I 
listened  with  increasing  attention. 

"  Then  you  spread  these  rabbits'  hairs  upon  a 
very  clean  table,  divide  them  into  little  bundles  upon 
the  end  of  a  stick  about  as  long  as  this — " 

"  Don't  you  mean  brushes  ?  "  I  asked  in  an  em- 
barrassed tone. 

"  So  you  know  the  technical  terms.  Then  what 
remains  for  me  to  say  is  unimportant.  You  buy  dif- 
ferent colored  pastes,  dip  your  little  brush  into  these 
various  pastes  with  taste  and  care,  and  then  sweep  it 
along  to  suit  your  fancy  over  a  canvas  stretched  in 
a  frame.     That's  what  painting  is." 

Everybody  began  to  laugh. 


42  B ABO  LAIN. 

There  was  nothing  left  for  me  to  do  but  to  join  in 
the  general  mirth,  so  I  accomplished  a  woeful  grim- 
ace, but  I  felt  the  veins  in  my  forehead  swell,  and  the 
drops  of  perspiration  roll  down  my  temples. 

"That  reminds  me  of  a  little  anecdote  of  which 
Cadamour  is  the  hero,"  said  Prudent  de  la  Sar- 
the.  "  You  remember  him  ?  Cadamour,  Girodet's 
model." 

"  Perfectly.  The  insertions  of  his  muscles  were 
admirable." 

"  Yes,  Mademoiselle,  exactly.     Well,  one  day —  " 

I  should  have  very  much  liked  to  hear  this  story, 
which  would  doubtless  have  initiated  me  into  some 
details  of  this  wonderful  world,  but  Mme.  Paline, 
from  an  excess  of  politeness,  undoubtedly,  sat  down 
beside  me,  and  suddenly  asked  : 

"  What  do  you  think  of  Cirbec  ?  He  is  very  good 
looking,  isn't  he  ?  " 

"  Certainly.     He  has  great  talent,  apparently." 

"  Yes,  yes,  he  is  an  extremely  severe  critic,  and 
the  praise  he  has  just  given  us  touches  me  all  the 
more  because  there  are  evident  resemblances  between 
his  genius  and  my  Esther's,  which  might  well  inspire 
him  with  a  little — ^jealousy;  but  Cirbec  is  above  these 
meannesses,  a  rare  thing  in  the  arts,  my  dear  Mon- 
sieur." 

"  Indeed  1  " 

"  Undoubtedly  :  extreme  dehcacy  of  mind  natu- 
rally produces  irritability.  Artists  have  very  sensi- 
tive skins ;  hence  the  sufferings  whose  cause  the 
public  cannot  appreciate,  hence  their  indignation, 
their  rebellion  against  the  mere  contact  with  common- 
place things — I  know  what  it  is  :  it  is  terrible.  Not 
that  my  husband  had  a  bad  disposition,  but  the  me- 
diocrity of  his  intellect,  his  lack  of  power  to  rise  to 
our  ideal  1  What  is  the  secret,  you  will  say,  of  cer- 
tain marriages  which  seem  monstrous  ?  How  does  it 
happen  that  a  young  girl  of  noble  birth  finds  herself 


B ABO  LAIN.  43 

some  fine  day  the  wife,  the  slave  of  a  notary,  lost, 
buried  in  the  depths  of  a  province  ?  In  a  word,  you 
will  ask  me  how  I  could — " 

"  I  should  never  permit  myself  to  commit  such  an 
impertinence,  Madame." 

"  Good  heavens  !  the  Marquise  de  Salvain  was  no 
less  astonished  than  you  are.  '  You  have  had  a  ter- 
rible downfall,  my  beautiful  child,'  she  said  the  day 
after  my  marriage  ;  '  what  a  frightful  hole  you  are  in.' 

"  The  Marquise  was  a  de  Plancel,  and  her  first 
husband  was  the  cousin-german  of  my  mother,  who 
was  a  Martignac,  a  Martignac  -  Corbon,  the  younger 
branch.  You  perceive,  do  you  not,  what  a  heart- 
rending effect  my  marriage  must  have  produced  upon 
such  a  circle.  Ah  !  what  strange  things  occur  in  life, 
what  chance,  what  fatality!" 

"  Chance  is  not  compatible  with  fatality,  Madame, 
for  if  on  the  one  hand — " 

"  Gently,  my  dear  Monsieur,  you  will  make  me 
mad." 

While  my  right  ear  was  receiving  the  confidences 
of  my  fair  neighbor,  my  left  was  besieged  by  snatch- 
es of  the  noisiest  conversation.  One  very  short 
young  man,  in  particular,  with  flashing  eyes  and  ener- 
getic movements,  was  gesticulating  furiously.  "  Yes," 
he  cried  in  a  voice  distinguished  by  a  strong  Southern 
accent,  "  yes  indeed,  I  will  dip  my  pen  in  gall  to  blast 
these  scandalous  reputations." 

"  Hark  ye,  my  dear  Tambergeac,"  replied  an- 
other, "  I  admire  your  eminent  qualities  as  an  art 
critic,  but  I  think  you  are  hard  upon  Cirbec.  Have 
you  seen  my  Galatea  ?  Cirbec's  genius  !  Ha  !  ha ! 
ha ! — Gentlemen,  let  us  hear  ! — if  people  study  the 
Venetians —  It  is  a  dogma  with  me,  and  if  you  had 
seen  my  Galatea — yes,  dipped  in  gall,  for  I  repeat : 
artistically  Cirbec  is  a  contemptible  fellow —  As  if  one 
could  separate  the  man  from  the  artist !  Cirbec  has 
never  been  anything  but  a  blackguard." 


44  BABOLAIN. 

"  After  all  this  you  must  understand  what  my  life 
was,  do  you  not  ?  "  murmured  Mme.  Paline,  who  had 
not  ceased  speaking,  "  Compelled  to  consider  the 
sensibilities  of  the  de  Martignacs,  and  at  the  same 
time — " 

"  My  Galatea  was  a  solid  piece,  and — which  did 
not  prevent  its  being  refused  a  place  in  the  Exhibi- 
tion—  I  know  it  as  well  as  you  ;  it  was  at  the  same 
time  as  Mademoiselle's  two  dead  natures." 

"  Which  were  two  gems,"  cried  Mme.  Paline,  sud- 
denly joining  in  the  general  conversation.  "  It  was 
the  most  revolting  injustice,  the  grestest  effrontery. 
That  day  the  Institute  showed  its  characteristics  in 
all  their  nakedness,    incompetency  and  meanness !  " 

*•'  But  what  could  be  the  cause  of  such  an  infa- 
mous thing  ?  "  cried  I  in  my  turn. 

The  general  excitement  was  extending  to  me,  and 
in  spite  of  myself  I  shared  my  noble  companion's  in- 
dignation. 

"  The  cause  !  Alas,  it  is  the  general  hatred  of 
commonplace,  inferior  natures  against  everything 
original,  powerful,  young,  and  individual ;  the  eternal 
struggle  of  triviality  which  revenges  itself  by  treach- 
ery, and  seeks  to  reduce  everything  to  its  own  level." 

"  But,  Madame,  that  is  horrible,"  I  cried  earn- 
estly. 

"  It  would  be  atrocious,  if  one  did  not  have  the 
esteem  of  one's  friends,"  said  the  young  artist,  hold- 
ing out  her  hand  to  me. 

"  And  the  future,  my  daughter." 


I  passed  a  night  disturbed  by  troubled  dreams  ; 
two  or  three  times  I  was  obliged  to  get  up  and  drink 
a  large  glass  of  water.  Towards  morning,  however, 
I  fell  into  a  sound  sleep,  and  on  awaking  felt  a  deli- 


BABOLAIN.  45 

cious  sensation  of  comfort :  the  rays  of  the  sun  filled 
my  room,  everything  around  me  was  sparkling,  my 
heart  overflowed  with  joy  and  courage — I  was  a  man 
of  the  world.  I  know  not  what  strange  want  led  me 
to  a  hair-dresser's  shop  that  morning.  Seating  my- 
self in  an  immense  chair  I  gave  myself  up  to  the 
young  man.  After  having  shaved  me  he  went  away 
and  came  back  holding  in  his  hand  a  pair  of  curling- 
tongs,  which  he  turned  rapidly  round  and  round  while 
looking  for  a  piece  of  paper  on  which  to  try  the  heat 
of  the  instruments.  For  the  first  time  in  my  life  I 
was  going  to  have  my  hair  curled. 

I  must  at  any  rate  have  a  tolerably  good  appear- 
ance to  have  such  fopperies  occur  to  this  hair-dress- 
er as  a  matter  of  course,  without  consulting  me.  Yet 
I  wanted  to  laugh. 

"  Does  not  Monsieur  want  some  toilette  soap  ? 
We  have  some  excellent  kinds  —  combs,  eau  de 
quinquina  for  roughness  of  the  skin.  Monsieur 
knows  how  many  maladies  the  bulb  is  liable  to  have." 

Wrapped  in  my  huge  white  cloth,  with  my  legs 
stretched  out  as  far  as  possible,  I  listened  to  this 
music  which  fairly  delighted  me.  People  were  troub- 
ling themselves  about  me,  paying  attention  to  me, 
trying  to  beautify  me. 

*'  We  have  also  a  complete  assortment  of  English 
brushes,  round  or  oval,  which  we  sell  by  the  set  or 
separately.  Only  the  English  brushes  are  all  one 
can  wish." 

"  What  is  the  price  ?  "  said  I.  The  question  es- 
caped me  unconsciously,  so  deeply  rooted  were  my 
economical  habits.  I  was  vexed,  but  my  attention 
was  soon  distracted,  for  I  saw  in  the  glass  every  one 
of  my  obstinate  locks  rolled  around  the  tongs,  while 
a  light  pick  pick  was  heard,  and  a  fragrant  cloud 
floated  into  the  air.  Then  the  tongs  being  carefully 
withdrawn  by  successive  little  twitches,  1  saw  a  beau- 
tiful curl  replace  the  long,  flat,  stiff  lock  nature  had 


46  BABOLAIN. 

bestowed  upon  me.  Was  not  this  the  image  of  the 
physical  and  moral  metamorphosis  that  awaited  me  ? 

"  The  prices  vary,"  said  the  hair-dresser,  "  accord- 
ing to  the  mounting  which  is  in  wood,  ebony  or  ivory." 

"  Ah  !  you  have  them  in  ivory."  Hesitation  did 
not  seem  possible,  circumstances  demanded  the  ivory 
brush,  henceforth  I  could  not  dispense  with  such  a 
trinket.  And  then  what  a  delight  it  was  to  dare  to 
throw  money  out  of  the  window  at  last. 

Ten  minutes  after,  I  left  the  hair-dresser's  shop, 
carrying  in  my  overcoat  pocket  not  only  an  incom- 
parable brush,  but  a  pretty  vial  containing  a  perfumed 
liquid  and  tied  with  a  pink  ribbon.  I  felt  a  very 
great  satisfaction,  whose  cause,  however,  I  did  not 
wish  to  investigate  lest  I  might  find  in  it  some  un- 
worthy weakness.  Did  not  Mme.  Paline  follow  me 
with  her  noble  gentle  glance,  while  her  daughter  be- 
stowed upon  me  an  approving  smile.  It  was  for 
their  sakes,  after  all,  that  1  wished  to  be  less  ugly. 

By  chance  I  raised  my  head  and  saw  a  clock 
which  reminded  me  of  the  college.  In  the  midst  of 
these  worldly  thoughts,  I  had  been  on  the  point  of 
forgetting  the  sacred  duties  of  instruction.  Pursued 
by  the  odor  of  jasmine  with  which  my  hair  was 
scented,  I  began  to  walk  quickly  on  ;  my  steps,though 
short,  were  very  rapid. 

At  the  sight  of  the  day  scholars,  who  whispered 
together  as  they  looked  at  me,  and  scarcely  conceal- 
ed their  amusement,  I  remembered  the  artificial 
elegance  of  my  hair.  The  first  moment  was  disa- 
greeable, but  it  was  not  on  the  morning  after  a  tri- 
umph that  I  could  be  intimidated  by  a  handful  of 
young  rattle  pates.  I  cast  around  me  the  glance  of  a 
touchy  man  who  is  ready  to  seek  a  quarrel  on  the 
first  pretext ;  then  advancing  to  the  blackboard,  said 
with  great  firmness  :  "  Gentlemen,  let  A  B  C  D  E  be 
the  base  of  a  polyhedron  ;  and  M  and  N  the  apices." 

I  took  a  piece  of  chalk,  and  after  pushing  up  the 


B ABO  LAIN. 


47 


sleeve  of  my  gown  with  a  hasty  gesture  traced  a  few 
lines. 

Yes,  certainly,  it  was  for  their  sakes  that  I  wished 
to  be  less  disagreeable.  What  a  cordial  welcome, 
•what  softness  in  the  smooth  delicate  hand  whose, 
pressure  I  still  felt !  I  took  more  care  than  usual 
with  the  figures  I  traced  upon  the  blackboard,  I  even 
noticed  that  I  raised  my  little  finger  with  a  certain 
grace.  The  evening  spent  in  the  society  of  artists 
had  roused  an  unusual  regard  for  the  graphic  portion 
of  my  demonstration.  During  all  this  time  the  ivory 
brush  was  swinging  to  and  fro  in  my  coat  pocket  and 
rubbing  my  left  leg,  while  the  pretty  vial  tied  with 
pink  ribbon  tapped  against  my  right,  so  that  I  was 
reminded  every  instant  of  the  hair-dresser's  little 
room,  and  from  there  by  an  involuntary  connection 
of  ideas,  found  myself  seated  between  the  two  ladies. 

The  lesson  was  very  troublesome  to  me,  for  the 
farther  I  proceeded  in  my  demonstration  the  more 
I  was  overpowered  by  the  charm  of  the  sweetest  of 
dreams,  and  I  pronounced  the  last  words  in  a  voice 
trembling  with  tender  emotion  :  "  Then,  gentlemen, 
two  similar  polyhedrons  have  similar  homologous 
faces,  and  the  solid  homologous  angles  equaL  That 
is  what  must  be  demonstrated." 

The  difficulty  was  to  return  to  Mme.  Paline's 
house ;  I  was  longing  to  do  so,  but  how  was  I  to  ac- 
complish it  ?  It  was  absolutely  necessary  to  allow  a 
few  days  to  elapse  before  the  second  visit,  which  now 
seemed  as  perilous  as  the  success  of  the  first  had 
been  complete.  Depending  upon  some  fortunate 
meeting  to  renew  my  intercourse  with  these  ladies, 
I  walked  up  and  down  the  Rue  Saint  Sulpice  ;  and 
on  reaching  No.  14  was  seized  with  a  most  unac- 
countable trembling  in  the  knees.  At  the  hour  when 
the  inhabitants  of  that  neighborhood  went  to  the 
Luxembourg  to  breathe  the  evening  air,  I  wandered 
among  the  crowd,  but  cautiously,  for  the  agitation  of 


48  BABOLAIN. 

my  heart  might  have  been  read  in  my  countenance. 
On  the  third  day  after  the  great  event  I  had  not  gone 
ten  steps  into  the  garden — such  things  only  happen 
to  me — when  I  found  myself  face  to  face  with  the 
person  whose  keen  sight  I  most  dreaded.  I  mean 
my  dear  Timol6on.  He  was  gayer,  franker,  more 
Uke  a  cavalier  of  the  days  of  Louis  XIII.  than  ever. 

"  Why,  here  is  the  little  old  man,"  he  cried.  "  I 
haven't  seen  you  for  a  long  time.  What  hole  have  you 
been  hiding  in,  my  dear  fellow  t  "  Then  drawing  back 
a  step,  "And  in  what  a  rig  do  I  find  you.-'  nut-col- 
ored pants,  apple-green  cravat,  and  curled  hair  !  " 

In  fact,  I  had  been  foolish  enough  to  go  to  the 
hair-dresser's  again.  I  tried  to  smile,  nibbled  my 
cane,  and  perceiving  that  I  should  be  compelled  to 
descend  to  falsehood  if  I  wished  to  turn  aside  his 
suspicions,  replied  :  "  Good  heavens,  I  am  working 
very  hard  just  now,  am  busy,  and  don't  go  out  much. 
But  what  a  beautiful  evening.  Oh !  a  lovely  even- 
ing." 

"  Little  old  man,  little  old  man,  you  are  going  to 
be  married,"  he  said,  bursting  into  a  fit  of  laughter. 

I  do  not  know  what  other  pleasantries  he  added ; 
I  did  not  hear  them,  for  at  that  very  moment,  at  ten 
paces  from  us,  the  two  ladies  swept  down  the  avenue 
in  the  most  imposing  and  elegant  toilettes.  I  shiv- 
ered from  head  to  foot,  and  raising  my  hat  with  a 
trembling  hand,  made  my  best  bow. 

*'  Do  you  know  those  princesses  ?  "  said  Timol6on. 
"  Paque  Dieu,  you  are  an  epicure,  my  gentleman. 
The  youngest  of  the  two  goddesses,  the  daughter  no 
doubt,  has  incomparable  legs." 

If  any  one  had  publicly  dealt  me  a  blow  in  the 
face  I  should  have  felt  no  keener  suffering ;  and  it 
was  my  most  beloved  friend  who  had  thus  wounded 
my  honor.  I  drew  myself  up  indignantly,  and  seiz- 
ing him  by  the  arm  exclaimed  :  "  Silence,  silence,  I 
cannot  endure  these  insults,  these  scandalous  insinu- 


BABOLAIN.  49 

ations.  The  ladies  who  have  just  passed  are  worthy 
of  all  respect,  both  by  their  birth  and  rare  attain- 
ments." 

I  must  have  had  a  frightful  expression  of  counte- 
nance as  I  said  this,  for  I  was  really  capable  of  brav- 
ing every  danger.  Yet  Timoleon  was  not  very  much 
intimidated. 

"  But  zounds  !  little  old  man,  when  people  are  so 
desperately  in  love  they  give  others  warning.  Come, 
calm  yourself.  The  young  girl,  on  the  contrary,  has 
horrible  legs,  she  even  has  a  wooden  one — there,  are 
you  satisfied  .-•    Made  of  old  wood." 

"  Timol6on,  I  beg  of  you — I  assure  you  I  shall  not 
be  able  to  contain  myself." 

"  What  can  I  do  better  ?  I  told  you  made  of  old 
wood.  If  you  want  proof,  go  to  the  museum  about 
three  o'clock,  and  before  the  Rubens  paintings  you 
will  see  the  unfortunate  girl  mounted  on  a  sort  of 
ladder  with  broad  steps,  from  which  she  is  copying 
the  head  of  a  mustached  individual  in  a  cuirass. 
Wait  till  the  artist  comes  down  to  speak  to  her  moth- 
er, who  reads  Lord  Byron's  poetry  below  ;  go  up  to 
them,  my  friend,  put  on  all  your  glasses,  and  you  will 
see  that  beside  the  moral  virtues,  this  young  person 
has  a  leg — such  as  I  have  told  you." 

"  If  you  add  another  word  I  shall  break  with  you 
forever.  In  the  name  of  our  old  friendship  I  entreat 
you  to  listen  to  me." 

Yet  I  had  vowed  to  keep  everything  to  myself;  but 
it  was  necessary  to  convince  him,  to  prove  how  false 
was  the  judgment  which,  in  his  incorrigible  heedless- 
ness, he  had  passed  upon  them.  I  did  not  wish  to 
leave  the  shadow  of  a  doubt  in  Timol6on's  mind  in 
regard  to  Mme.  Paline's  respectability ;  my  honor, 
my  dignity,  were  concerned  in  the  matter — and  I 
opened  my  whole  soul  to  him.  At  midnight  we  were 
still  talking,  and  a  treaty  of  peace  was  signed. 

This  conversation  produced  a  great  effect  upon 
4 


50  BABOLAIN. 

me.  It  was  like  a  revelation  of  my  moral  state. 
In  fact  as  I  related  my  impressions  they  became 
clearer,  grew  more  exact,  all  the  confused  emotions 
I  had  experienced  for  several  days  clustered  together, 
were  linked  into  each  other,  and  I  was  terrified  by 
the  seriousness  of  my  situation. 

"  You  are  desperately  in  love,"  cried  Timoleon. 
"Sound  trumpets;  the  little  old  man  is  pining  for 
love  !  " 

I  defended  myself  as  if  the  idea  was  sacrilege ; 
it  was  impossible.  And  yet  if  it  was  true,  if  these 
symptoms  did  not  deceive.  Could  I  have  within  my 
heart,  great  Heaven  !  the  germ  of  a  passion  ! 

From  that  time  I  tried  to  give  an  exact  account 
of  myself,  I  analyzed  all  my  thoughts,  discussed  their 
nature,  plunged  into  the  secret  depths  of  my  soul, 
and  thereby  so  greatly  irritated  this  tiny  spot,  at  first 
so  insignificant,  that  on  the  day  I  returned  to  the 
Rue  Saint  Sulpice  I  had  an  angry  sore — I  loved. 
Was  it  the  mother  or  the  daughter  ?  In,  deed  I  could 
not  have  told; and  the  uncertainty  increased  my  fears, 
for  if  I  loved  both  I  was  the  victim  of  a  dishonest 
passion  that  might  not  be  confessed.  Into  what  hell 
was  I  plunged  ? 

The  cordiality  of  the  welcome  I  received  calmed 
me  greatly,  and  was  of  immense  benefit.  Mme. 
Paline's  mere  presence  was  like  a  caress,  a  consola- 
tion. On  seeing  me,  she  eagerly  held  out  her  hand 
and  uttered  a  joyous  sigh,  which  was  a  hundred 
times  more  eloquent  than  a  long  speech.  One  would 
have  said  that  she  was  expecting  me.  After  an  in- 
stant she  murmured  : 

**  We  were  afraid  you  would  not  come  to  see  us 
again,  Monsieur  Babolain — yes,  we  really  were.  Esth- 
er was  talking  about  it  again  this  morning.  Oh !  I 
was  wrong  to  tell  you  that — if  my  daughter  should 
hear  me  !  " 

"  Not  see  you  again !  oh !  Madame  !" 


BABOLAIN.  51 

"  Certainly :  the  world  of  art  does  not  please  every 
one ;  especially  learned  men  who  have  the  immense 
advantage  of  not  allowing  themselves  to  be  blinded 
for  any  length  of  time  by  the  often  deceitful  vivid- 
ness of  first  impressions.  Can  we  suppose  that  a 
man  who  is  accustomed  to  trust  only  to  his  calcula- 
tions can  take  pleasure  in  these  artistic  discussions, 
which  are  all  pervaded  with  an  unforeseen  and  often 
indiscernible  feeling  ?  A  learned  man  must  neces- 
sarily consider  us  frivolous  beings,  nervous  to  excess, 
impressionable  to  absurdity;  he  must  judge  our  ab- 
sence of  formality,  our  somewhat  peculiar  manners, 
very  severely — unless  he  is  himself  the  most  acute  of 
observers,  and  unconsciously  the  most  fastidious  of 
artists. 

She  adjusted  her  curls  with  her  beautiful  hand, 
and  the  gauze  upon  the  waist  of  her  dress  rose  and 
fell  several  times  very  rapidly.  It  was  enough  to 
make  me  perceive  that  she  was  agitated,  and  1  saw 
clearly  that  her  last  words  applied  to  me. 

"  I  am  perhaps  less  brilliant  than  you  think,  Mad- 
ame, but  if — " 

"  I  suppose  you  are  jesting.  Don't  you  believe  I 
have  either  tact  or  shrewdness  to  enable  me  to  judge 
of  people  .-•  " 

"  If  you  would  guide  me  a  little,  I  should  undoubt- 
edly do  much  better." 

She  gave  me  a  charming  smile,  and  I  felt  I  pos- 
sessed in  her  a  devoted  friend. 

It  was  in  this  delightful  manner  that  my  relations 
with  the  Paline  ladies  were  definitely  settled.  How 
could  I  have  remained  insensible  to  the  affectionate 
consideration,  the  attentions  of  every  kind  they  con- 
descended to  bestow  upon  me  ?  I  soon  felt  more  at 
ease,  hazarded  a  few  remarks,  and  mingled  as  well  as 
I  was  able  in  the  conversations  I  sometimes  thought 
I  understood,  and  they  almost  always  approved  of 
my  words,  saying  :  "  That  is  just,  very  well  thought, 


52  B ABO  LAIN. 

very  well  said  ;  that  sums  up  the  question  admira- 
bly." I  knew  they  manifested  great  indulgence,  but 
it  was  this  very  indulgence,  so  new  to  me,  that  did 
me  good.  And  then  they  consulted  me,  they  confided 
a  thousand  things  to  me  with  the  charming  freedom 
of  a  friendship  of  ten  years'  standing.  They  asked 
about  my  headaches  ;  gave  me  a  remedy  for  sore- 
throats  to  which  I  was  subject.  It  sometimes  seemed 
to  me  as  if  all  these  little  attentions  and  sweet  words 
were  addressed  to  some  other  person  whose  place  I 
was  usurping.  The  poverty  of  my  past  life,  the  lu- 
dicrous peculiarities  of  my  personal  appearance,  re- 
turned to  my  mind  for  a  passing  moment.  "  They 
think  me  better  than  I  really  am,"  I  said  to  myself. 
"  Have  I  not  deceived  them  ;  have  I  not  been  un- 
consciously playing  a  part  ?  If  they  should  perceive 
their  error,  oh  !  God."  I  am  unworthy  of  all  this  hap- 
piness— and  yet  if  some  day  it  should  cease — I  know 
not  what  vague  ideas  of  the  future;  a  hearthstone,  a 
family,  mingled  with  my  fears. 

How  many  times,  after  returning  home  in  the  eve- 
ning, on  finding  myself  alone,  I  have  buried  my  face 
in  my  hands  and  wept  to  think  of  what  they  were 
doing  for  me.  There  was  evidently  a  great  deal  of 
charity  in  their  conduct,  they  had  no  reason  for  being 
so  kind,  they  were  even  ignorant  of  the  affection  I 
felt  for  them,  for  I  was  very  cautious  in  that  respect, 
lest  I  should  displease  them. 

Soon,  not  content  with  the  numerous  visits  I  paid 
to  the  Rue  Saint  Sulpice,  I  fell  into  the  habit  of  going 
to  the  museum  where  the  ladies  spent  a  portion  of 
the  day  ;  I  gave  as  a  pretext  the  necessity  of  com- 
mencing my  artistic  education  in  good  earnest.  I 
had  purchased  a  small  glass  with  a  single  tube,  which 
1  easily  concealed  in  my  hand,  so  that  I  could  see 
them  at  a  long  distance  down  the  gallery.  They  were 
always  dressed  with  a  care  and  elegance  I  shall  never 
meet  with  among  other  women.      But  what  torture  it 


BABOLAIN.  53 

caused  me  to  walk  across  the  slippery  floor  of  that  in- 
terminable gallery.  I  knew  I- was  observed;  I  was 
alone  in  the  very  centre  of  that  waxed  wilderness,  and 
a  single  slip  might  cause  a  catastrophe,  the  mere 
thought  of  which  made  me  shudder.  Would  one  be- 
lieve that  through  feminine  delicacy,  consideration  for 
my  awkwardness,  they  pretended  not  to  see  me  until 
I  was  within  three  paces  of  them.  Then  I  walked 
on  tiptoe  that  I  might  not  disturb  Esther  in  her  work, 
exchanged  a  smile  and  shake  of  the  hand  with  Mme. 
Paline,  and  moved  on  some  little  distance  to  take  my 
station  before  the  picture  whose  secrets  I  wished  to 
analyze.  It  was  always  a  Rubens,  my  friends'  favor- 
ite master.  Once  there,  I  was  happy.  I  felt  that  I 
was  near  them,  and  if  I  happened  to  turn  my  head,  I 
saw  the  young  girl  upon  her  step  ladder  gazing  at 
her  palette  with  an  inspired  eye.  What  a  mysterious 
depth  there  is  in  an  artist's  glance !  She  told  me  one 
day  that  the  harmony  of  colors  produced  a  species 
of  intoxication,  and  that  when  before  some  of  Ru- 
bens' pictures  she  experienced  an  emotion  she  was 
unable  to  subdue. 

By  what  means  was  I  to  understand  the  cause  of 
these  emotions  ?  And  first — I  wished  to  proceed 
methodically — what  mysterious  bond  exists  between 
a  feeling  and  the  juxtaposition  of  certain  colors,  the 
vibrations  of  the  optic  nerve,  and  the  pleasant  or 
painful  sensation  which  results  from  them.  There, 
as  in  music,  there  were  numerical  laws  one  might 
perhaps  succeed  in  detecting,  and  deferring  the  the- 
oretical study  until  later,  I  wished  to  submit  to  an  ex- 
perimental test.  I  concentrated  my  whole  attention 
upon  a  little  corner  of  the  great  picture,  and  called 
forth  the  emotions  of  my  heart.  That  pink  hue,  I 
said  to  myself,  is  not  there  by  accident,  its  effect  cer- 
tainly combines  with  that  of  the  other  bluish  shade 
beside  it.  Both  are  probably  modified  by  each 
other's  vicinity ;  there  is  a  sort  of  reciprocal  exchange, 


54  BABOLAIN. 

a  fusion  \  for  if  I  draw  back,  the  two  tints  are  com- 
pletely blended.  But  is  it  absolutely  certain  that  one 
touch  is  pink  and  the  other  bluish  ?  Is  it  not  an 
optical  illusion,  can  I  be  already  under  the  spell  ?  I 
mounted  a  stool  to  examine  the  picture  more  closely, 
and  soon  imagined  infinite  complications  in  the  slight- 
est touch,  my  sight  became  less  distinct,  everything 
grew  confused,  mingled  together,  and  the  figures  in 
the  painting  seemed  to  be  upside  down. 

How  much  learning,  what  prodigious  calculations, 
what  marvellous  combinations  there  are  in  a  work  of 
art !  I  put  my  glass  back  into  my  pocket,  and,  threat- 
ened with  a  violent  headache,  rejoined  the  ladies.  "  It 
is  bewildering,"  said  I. 

"  Is  it  not  beautiful,  perfectly  beautiful,"  the 
young  girl  sometimes  answered.  Often  also  she  slight- 
ly shrugged  her  shoulders,  and  said  cavalierly :  "  Let 
us  alone,  you  don't  know  anything  about  it." 

Decidedly  it  was  impossible  for  me  to  explain 
Mile.  Esther's  character  clearly.  The  love  of  art  must 
really  have  taken  a  very  powerful  hold  upon  her 
mind :  sometimes  gay,  careless,  affectionate,  she  threw 
herself  into  an  arm  chair,  laughed  continually,  and 
addressed  a  thousand  jests  to  me  ;  sometimes  she  be- 
came grave  and  her  large  eyes  remained  fixed  upon 
vacancy.  If  any  one  spoke  to  her,  she  did  not  seem 
to  understand,  moved  impatiently,  and  turned  her 
head  away,  or  else  burst  out  laughing. 

These  oddities,  whose  effect  Mme.  Paline  tried  to 
soften  by  her  own  unvarying  kindness  plunged  me 
into  alternations  of  joy  and  anxiety  ;  but  the  more 
difficult  I  found  it  to  fathom  this  character,  the  more 
eager  I  was  to  sound  its  depths.  I  summoned  all 
my  critical  faculties  to  my  aid,  studied  the  capricious 
countenance  of  the  young  girl,  her  look,  her  gestures ; 
I  noted  in  my  memory  the  minutest  details  of  her 
personal  appearance — and  each  instant  discovered 
new  attractions  which  enchanted  me. 


BABOLAIN.  55 

One  day  Mme.  Paline,  drawing  me  towards  the 
window,  said  with  her  usual  nobility  of  feeling  and 
ease  of  manner : 

"  Come  here,  my  dear  friend,  I  see  you  are  troub- 
led ;  what  is  the  matter  ?  Confide  in  me,  please  push 
that  footstool  a  little  nearer,  I  will  wager  that  Esther 
has  been  indulging  in  some  freak — " 

I  would  have  sacrificed  my  little  finger  rather 
than  confess  the  supreme  importance  I  attached  to 
the  young  artist's  caprices,  so  I  contented  myself  with 
an  embarrassed  smile. 

"  Ah !  well,"  said  she,  "  I  will  open  my  heart  to 
you  ;  I  too  need  counsel.  The  affection  and  esteem 
I  have  for  you  can  alone  induce  me  to  use  such  entire 
frankness — the  subject  is  a  very  serious  one." 

"  Good  heavens !  what  is  it  ?  speak  Madame. 
You  do  not  doubt  my  devotion  ?  " 

Her  sole  reply  was  to  hold  out  her  hand,  then 
with  a  smile  that  agitated  me  greatly,  she  replied  : 

"  A  poor  widow  finds  herself  very  much  alone, 
especially  when  she  suddenly  perceives  that  the 
health,  the  life  of  her  child  are  perhaps  endangered." 

My  face  doubtless  expressed  the  anguish  I  felt, 
for  the  poor  mother  started  in  her  turn  as  she  looked 
at  me  : 

*'  You  have  noticed  it  as  well  as  I,  have  you  not  ?" 
she  said.  Do  not  deny  it,  oh !  do  not  deny  it,  you 
would  not  deceive  me :  I  read  your  heart,"  and 
raising  a  handkerchief,  even  more  richly  embroidered 
than  usual,  to  her  beautiful  eyes,  she  continued : 
"  Oh  !  God  !  what  hast  Thou  in  store  for  us  ?  He 
too  has  seen  that  my  Esther  was  drooping.  My 
daughter,  oh  !  my  beloved  daughter,  what  will  become 
of  me  without  you  !     Do  you  think  her  very  ill  ?  " 

"  I  have  noticed  nothing,  I  solemnly  assure  you, 
absolutely  nothing." 

"  Be  kind  enough  to  treat  me  like  a  brave 
mother,  my  friend.    The  blow  has  fallen,  what  avails 


56  BABOLAIN. 

it  to  deceive  me  ?  Let  us  speak  lower,  she  is  in  the 
next  room.  Can  I  not  perceive  that  her  disposition 
has  altered  strangely  during  the  last  month  or  two, 
that  the  evil  is  increasing  ?  She  vainly  seeks  to  con- 
ceal her  condition  from  me.  You  will  tell  me  that 
she  is  an  artist,  that  is,  impressionable,  sensitive  to  ex- 
cess ;  that  the  preoccupation  of  mind  caused  by  her 
art  must  affect  her  temper ;  that  the  refusal  of  the  Ex- 
hibition to  accept  her  great  landscape  must  have  ex- 
erted a  great  influence  over  her ;  but  she,  who  has 
always  been  so  brave,  would  only  have  drawn  fresh 
ardor  from  this  rebuff;  now  you  have  seen  that  she 
has  not  touched  a  brush  since,  except  to  finish  her 
superb  copy  of  Rubens,  and  even  that  with  how 
much  effort !  How  many  times  she  has  thrown  her- 
self into  my  arms,  saying :  '  Mother,  I  can  do 
no  more — I  can  do  no  more.'  *  My  love,'  I  replied, 
concealing  my  tears,  '  you  owe  it  to  your  own  repu- 
tation to  finish  this  copy.'  You  do  not  know,  my 
friend,  you  cannot  know,  what  treasures  are  concealed 
within  the  heart  of  that  young  creature  of  twenty. 
Alas  !  alas  1  she  is  too  beautiful,  too  good  for  this 
world." 

What  infinite  depths  there  are  in  maternal  love  ! 
How  I  understood  the  tears  of  my  noble  friend — how 
I  sympathized  with  her  sorrow  !  Yet  the  first  cause 
of  this  grief  appeared  to  me  to  be  somewhat  ill-de- 
fined. 

"  Perhaps,"  said  I  with  great  caution,  •*  perhaps 
you  are  alarming  yourself  unduly,  dear  Madame,  the 
symptoms  do  not — " 

"  Do  not  go  on,  you  would  break  my  heart.  Noth- 
ing can  escape  a  loving  mother.  In  spite  of  her  ef- 
forts to  conceal  from  me  what  she  is  suffering — for 
she  seeks  to  conceal  it  from  me,  you  understand,  from 
me — do  I  not  see  her  drooping,  dying  under  the  fa- 
tal action  of  some  unknown  mental  torture .''  She 
has  lost  her  appetite,  no  longer  takes  pleasure  in  any- 


BABOLAIN.  57 

thing,  passes  her  best  sketches  with  indifference. — 
And  her  nights  !  Have  I  told  you  of  her  nights  ?  I 
really  do  not  know,  my  head  is  so  confused — her  ter- 
rible nights !  What  is  the  cause  of  her  nervous  starts, 
the  incoherent  words  that  escape  her  lips  ?  And  you 
do  not  wish  me  to  be  terribly  anxious  ?  Ah !  it  is  be- 
cause you  don't  understand,  or  don't  wish  to  under- 
stand." 

"  It  is  terrible.  Good  heavens  !  what  is  to  be 
done  ?  "  I  cried. 

"  Ah !  thanks,  that  is  the  right  word.  Yes,  it  is 
terrible.  I  sometimes  even  ask  myself  whether  I  ought 
to  wish  for  her  recovery,"  I  shuddered  at  this  mute 
despair.  "  And  undoubtedly  for  some  too  delicate, 
too  impressionable  natures,  it  is  a  blessing  to  die 
young.  What  man  would  know  how  to  appreciate 
her,  where  could  I  find  a  husband  worthy  of  her  ? 
Ah !  surely  it  is  better  to  die  than  to  be  exposed  to 
what  I  have  suffered." 

My  eyes  were  full  of  tears,  I  longed  to  cry :  *'  I 
am  the  husband  you  seek ;  I  am  the  man  to  devote 
.to  her  every  hour  of  my  life,  to  love,  to  adore  her ; 
but  besides  not  being  sure  that  I  was  worthy  of  her, 
I  could  find  no  appropriate  words  to  express  what  I 
felt,  so  I  simply  said : 

"  Do  you  fear  any  affection  of  the  lungs  ?  " 

"  I  fear  everything,  my  friend.  At  the  present 
time,  the  evil  is  mental  I  am  sure.  I  know  it  by  her 
alternations  of  overwhelming  sadness  and  wild  gay- 
ety,  by  all  the  caprices  which —  Why,  this  very  morn- 
ing, I  will  tell  you  all,  pardon  me — this  morning  I  en- 
tered her  room  to  kiss  her,  and  found  her  sitting  in  a 
corner  completely  absorbed  in  reading  a  little  book, 
which  was  entirely  unfamiliar  to  me.  I  went  up  to 
her  :  *  What  are  you  reading,  my  darling } '  said  I. 
She  held  out  the  volume  with  the  frank,  graceful  ges- 
ture you  know — " 


58  BABOLAIN. 

"Yes,  yes." 

"Where  was  I  ?  Oh,  I  looked  at  the  book,  it  was 
a  little  treatise  on  arithmetic,  she  formerly  used  at 
boarding  school.  I  smiled  and  said.  *  So  you  are  be- 
ginning your  old  studies  again,  my  dear.'  She  threw 
herself  into  my  arms  and  embracing  me  passionately, 
exclaimed :  *  Science  is  so  glorious,  mother,  so  glori- 
ous.'" 

It  seemed  as  if  every  drop  of  blood  flowed  back 
to  my  heart,  and  I  really  do  not  know  what  incohe- 
rent words  I  summoned  up  strength  to  stammer. 
Mme.  Paline  had  seized  my  hand  and  was  searching 
my  face  with  her  anxious  glance  :  "  What  is  to  be 
done,  my  friend,  what  is  to  be  done  ?  How  are  we  to 
apply  a  remedy  to  a  disease  of  whose  nature  we  are 
ignorant  ?  But  hush  !  I  hear  a  step,  she  is  coming. 
And  my  eyes  are  red !  Be  cautious  and  prudent,  do 
not  utter  a  word  that  could — " 

I  hastily  rose  and  rushed  towards  the  door ;  "  it  is 
impossible  for  me  to  stay,"  I  cried.  "  Excuse  me — 
my  class — impossible."  I  crossed  the  dining-room 
and  ante-chamber  like  a  hurricane. 

Mme.  Paline  followed  me,  saying : 

"  But  what  is  the  matter  ?  You  will  come  back  to- 
morrow, this  evening,  will  you  not  ? " 

When  I  reached  the  street  I  paused  an  instant, 
for  my  heart  was  beating  so  violently  that  I  could  not 
breathe,  then  took  my  course  haphazard  straight  on, 
like  a  criminal  pursued  by  remorse. 

"  I  am  the  sport  of  a  dream,"  I  thought ;  I 
fancied  I  saw  in  Mme.  Paline's  terrible  confidence  a 
meaning  which  does  not  exist ;  I  am  wild,  agitated  by 
feverish  dreams,  mad  with  pride,  and  I  cursed  the 
fatal  gift  of  analysis  that  murmured  in  my  ear  ;  "  This 
young  girl  loves  you,  Babolain ;  do  not  refuse  the 
evidence,  consider  the  logical  sequence  of  these  de- 
tails, whose  result  is  perfectly  clear."    And  the  poor 


BABOLAIN.  59 

mother,  who  in  her  grief,  sees  nothing,  perceives  no 
danger,  does  not  suspect  that  she  is  betraying  her 
child's  heart  to  me, — to  me  who  adores  her ! 

I  took  off  my  hat,  my  head  was  burning. 

I  struggled  as  well  as  I  could  against  the  intoxi- 
cation which  was  gaining  upon  me,  saying  to  myself: 
"  No,  I  am  not  made  to  secure  the  happiness  of  an 
exceptional  woman,  an  artist  who  will  soon  be  famous, 
and  whom  glory,  fortune,  and  worldly  successes  are 
awaiting.  Is  it  not  evident  that  I  am — come  let  us 
be  frank — that  I  am  too  far  beneath  her  ? "  What 
might  happen  when  Esther  at  last  opens  her  eyes, 
and  sees  to  what  an  illusion  she  has  been  a  victim, 
into  what  a  snare  I  have  made  her  fall  ?  All  this  is 
shameful,  abominable ;  it  is  my  place  to  foresee  the 
consequences,  and  resist  if  necessary.  I  will  go 
away,  I  will  never  see  her  again,  and  she  will  recover 
from  this  incomprehensible  folly.  What  matters  my 
career — I  will  return  to  the  country —  And  yet 
her  love  for  me  may  perhaps  be  profound,  inde- 
structible. 


VI. 

Two  days  after,  in  spite  of  my  resolutions,  I  was 
ascending  Mme.  Paline's  staircase.  I  had  reflected 
a  great  deal,  and  was  now  calm.  What !  upon  a  sin- 
gle word  which  might  be  interpreted  in  a  thousand 
different  ways,  I  had  built  a  whole  romance,  and  it 
had  required  two  days  of  reflection  to  convince  me 
of  my  insanity.  Of  what  use  is  it  then  to  have  a  log- 
ical mind !     Poor  child,  to  love  me  ! 

Yet  when  I  held  in  my  hand  the  ribbon  that  served 
as  a  bell-rope,  I  felt  a  slight  tremor.  Perhaps  I  was 
not  so  entirely  free  from  that  ridiculous  dream  as  I 
had  supposed.  But  even  if  I  should  be  obliged  to 
leave  them,  do  I  not  owe  them  a  farewell  and  thanks 


6o  BABOLAIN. 

for  the  welcome  they  have  given  me  ?  The  door 
opened  and  Mme.  Paline  appeared.  She  smiled  as 
she  offered  me  her  hand : 

"  My  presentiment  did  not  deceive  me,  I  was  ex- 
pecting you.  Speak  low,  Esther  is  in  the  studio.  She 
is  a  little  better,"  she  added. 

"  How  glad  I  am,  dear  Madame. 

"  Yes,  we  have  been  talking  together,  she  has  re- 
turned to  her  work,  and  you  will  find  her  finishing 
the  sketch  of  a  new  composition.  Oh !  you  will  be 
astonished.  I  do  not  know  what  is  taking  place  in 
her  mind.  It  is  not  at  all  like  her  usual  style,  not  at 
all.  She  has  given  up  all  brilliancy  of  coloring ;  but 
what  nobility,  what  grandeur  in  the  conception  of  the 
subject!  It  is  a  Cain  and  Abel.  The  ardor  with 
which  she  enters  into  her  work  makes  me  tremble, 
— you  will  say  I  am  always  anxious.  Ah  !  my  friend, 
that  is  the  destiny  of  mothers.  The  fact  is,  that 
yesterday,  at  midnight,  she  was  still  sketching.  Wait 
until  I  knock  ;  when  she  is  composing,  you  know, 
we  must  not  disturb  her  too  suddenly."  And 
with  a  series  of  little  taps  the  good  mamma  murmur- 
ed softly :  "  It  is  our  friend  Babolain,  my  darling, 
can  you  receive  us  }  " 

The  reply  was  favorable,  and  we  entered.  The 
studio,  as  they  called  it,  was  unrecognizable  :  all  the 
useless  ornaments  that  formerly  hung  on  the  walls 
had  been  carried  away ;  the  young  artist  was  work- 
ing in  an  empty  room.  Upon  a  quantity  of  papers 
scattered  about  the  apartment  were  colossal  heads 
dashed  off  in  an  impetuous  manner.  Esther  was 
standing  before  her  easel  so  absorbed  in  thought  that 
she  did  not  even  turn  her  head:  "Ah  !  is  it  you."*  " 
she  said,  and  after  a  moment  added  :  "  Well,  what  do 
you  say  to  this  ?"  Her  mother,showing  me  the  scat- 
tered papers, said  : 

"  She  has  done  all  this  in  two  days  ;  isn't  it  an 
unheard-of  thing  ?    You  see  the  whole  of  the  com- 


BABOLA/y.  6t 

position  here — take  a  little  rest,  my  dear,  I  beg  of 
you,  for  my  sake." 

The  young  girl  hastily  passed  her  little  hand 
through  her  hair  : 

"  I  will  rest  when  I  have  finished  my  work." 

"  Of  course  ;  but  your  health,  my  child  !  Oh  how 
noble  that  Abel  is  !  " 

"  Your  health,  Mademoiselle — the  attitude  of  the 
Cain  is  really  superb." 

"  Do  you  ever  win  in  a  lottery  ? "  said  Esther 
sneeringly. 

"  No,  Mademoiselle,  no ;  I  have  never  won  any- 
thing in  a  lottery." 

"  I'm  not  surprised,  for  you  have  no  luck.  I  ad- 
mit that  my  Abel  has  a  fine  contour,  amplitude,  a 
lofty  bearing." 

"  He  is  magnificent,  my  daughter,  he  is  bewilder- 
ing." 

"  He  really  isn't  bad  ;  I  hit  upon  him  at  the  first 
effort ;  but  to  make  amends,  my  Cain  Monsieur  ad- 
mires is  good  for  nothing  ;  it  is  just  Cirbec's  style." 

"  Oh  !  pray, darling,  pray  be  careful — " 

"  You  are  too  severe,  Mademoiselle —  Will  the 
picture  be  a  large  one  .''  " 

'*  More  than  life  size  ;  do  you  suppose  I  intend  to 
make  a  design  for  the  cover  of  a  song  or  a  snuff- 
box ? " 

Then  she  looked  at  me  with  a  desperate  earnest- 
ness that  greatly  intimidated  me :  "  It  is  the  expres- 
sion of  the  face  that  troubles  me,"  she  murmured, 
*' I  have  my  idea,  but  cannot  produce  it.  I  am  seek- 
ing— seeking."  She  approached  her  mother  without 
taking  her  eyes  from  me,  and  spoke  to  her  in  a  low 
tone. 

"  Oh  !  my  darling.  But  I  shall  never  dare —  Do 
you  know  what  Esther  said  to  me,  my  dear  Monsieur 
Babolain  ?  Pray  do  not  refuse  her.  My  daughter 
has  just  been  struck  by  a  certain  expression  upon 


62  BABOLAIN. 

your  face — it  is  just  what  she  has  been  seeking  for 
ever  since  yesterday — would  you  be  kind  enough  to 
stand  still  one  moment;  long  enough  to  make  a 
memorandum — to  take  a  rough  sketch  ?  " 

I  thought  at  first  that  they  were  making  fun  of 
me,  and  stood  stupidly  without  answering,  waiting  un- 
til the  joke  should  become  clearer. 

"  If  Monsieur  will  not  do  me  this  little  service," 
said  the  young  artist  pouting,  "  he  is  perfectly  free  to 
act  as  he  pleases." 

"  Mademoiselle  !  I  really  thought  you  were  mak- 
ing fun  of  me.  Do  you  actually  want — yet  people 
have  very  often  reminded  me  that  I  was  not  hand- 
some." 

"  It  is  not  a  question  of  beauty,  but  expression." 

"  Do  what  she  asks,  I  beg  of  you,"  whispered  the 
mother,  then  resuming  her  usual  tone  :  "  Esther  is 
right,  my  dear  Monsieur.  Your  face  possesses  an 
expression,  a  character — particularly  the  profile.  See, 
my  dear,  what  firmness  there  is  in  the  flat  parts."  I 
was  resigned,  but  greatly  excited.  "  Stand  on  that 
little  footstool ;  that's  right.  Don't  stir,  my  dear 
friend — yes,  that  is  it.  How  kind  and  obliging  you 
are  !  Turn  your  head  a  little  more  to  the  left.  Look 
at  the  nail  in  that  corner."  All  this  was  said  very 
rapidly,  and  I  performed  what  they  told  me  to  do  as 
well  as  I  could. 

"  Bravo  !  "  cried  Esther,  clapping  her  little  hands 
with  childish  joy,  "  there  is  my  work.  At  least,  they 
shall  not  say  it  is  stencil  work." 

The  artist  took  a  sheet  of  paper,  seized  a  bit  of 
crayon,  and  a  scratching  sound  as  it  passed  over  the 
paper  immediately  became  audible.  She  bit  her 
scarlet  lips,  bent  her  head  forward,  and  half  closed 
her  eyes,  or  with  her  little  finger  coquettishly  raised, 
effaced  useless  lines. 

The  constraint  I  imposed  upon  myself  was  so 
great,  I  made  such  violent  muscular  efforts  to  remain 


BABOLAIN.  63 

motionless,  that  the  drops  of  perspiration  began  to 
roll  down  my  forehead.' 

"  Oh  !  if  you  move,  take  your  leave  of  this  world." 
There  was  an  irresistible  charm  in  the  tones  of  her 
voice.  '*  Do  you  know  that  you  are  an  excellent  man, 
Monsieur  Babolain  .''  "  she  added  with  a  blending  of 
diffidence  and  affected  benevolence  that  enchanted 
me. 

"  I  really  dared  not  impose  this  task  upon  you,  al- 
though I  wanted  to." 

"  You  are  a  child,  my  dear;  do  you  take  Monsieur 
for  a  plebeian  ?  Come,  don't  say  any  more  such  fool- 
ish things.  He  knows  artists  well  enough,  is  too 
much  of  an  artist  himself." 

"  Oh  !  Madame,  pray !  " 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  my  friend,  I  know  what  I  am 
talking  about —  He  is  too  much  of  an  artist  himself 
to  find  so  simple  a  request  strange." 

"  Dear  me,  mamma,  a  young  girl  has  her  little 
fears;  one  is  not  a  termagant." 

"  Will  you  be  quiet,  you  rogue,  people  will  have  a 
pretty  opinion  of  you  !  " 

"  A  poor  opinion  !  oh  !  pray — can  you  suppose  " 
— I  murmured,  trying  to  smile. 

"  But  don't  stir,  keep  your  eyes  fixed  on  your  nail 
— Mamma,  Monsieur  is  looking  away." 

The  bursts  of  laughter  escaped  her  lips  like  the 
warbling  of  a  bird.  Her  gayety  had  an  aggressive 
quality  and  exasperated  you  deliciously.  She  gave 
herself  up  to  it  completely,  one  might  say  she  was 
passionately  gay  :  her  figure  was  convulsed ;  her  eyes 
half  closed.  Through  the  narrow  opening  in  the 
waist  of  her  dress  one  could  see  the  heaving  of  her 
neck  and  chest.  Her  little  mouth  opened  so  wide 
that  one  could  distinguish  her  rows  of  white  teeth 
glittering  in  their  tiny  apartment,  which  was  as  fresh 
and  bright  as  a  wet  rose.  Meantime  Mme.  Paline 
was  saying  with  her  usual  tact  and  gentleness  : 


64  BABOLAIN. 

"  Calm  yourself,  my  love  ;  will  you  never  be  ration- 
al ?  Really  I  am  confused — excuse  her,  Monsieur 
Babolain,  it  is  nervousness —  Oh  !  dear,  oh  !  dear,  she 
cannot  control  it." 

Perched  upon  my  little  stool  as  an  angler  sits  on 
his  narrow  rock,  I  might  well  suffer  at  the  thought  of 
being  so  ridiculous  ;  but  I  was  not  angry  with  the 
young  girl  for  her  mad  continual  laughter.  On  the 
contrary,  there  was  something  frank  and  honest  about 
it  which  touched  me.  With  a  stranger  she  would 
have  found  strength  to  put  a  constraint  upon  herself 
and  be  polite.  Therefore  there  was  between  her  and 
myself  a  bond  whose  power  she  felt  without  daring 
to  acknowledge  it.  And  suppose  her  charming  im- 
pertinence was  only  an  attempt  to  conceal  the  truth  ? 
Who  knows !  It  is  so  difficult  to  read  what  is  passing 
in  her  mind.  This  strange  gayety  was  not  natural ; 
was  it  really  at  me  she  was  laughing  so  heartily  ?  I 
was  only  half  convinced  of  it,  and  in  every  case  I 
experienced  a  sort  of  pleasure  in  feeling  myself  a 
victim  of  her  frolicsome  mirth ;  I  joyfully  submitted 
to  the  little  suffering  which  brought  me  nearer  to  her. 

We  feel  pain  from  the  needle  that  enters  our  flesh, 
but  we  sometimes  enjoy  it  while  watching  the  hand 
which  pushes  it  in,  and  would  not  wish  to  be  rid  of 
the  needle  if  at  the  same  time  the  hand  must  be  re- 
moved— 

"  Oh !  how  pleasant  it  is  to  laugh,"  said  Esther 
after  a  moment's  pause.  "  You  will  excuse  me  Mon- 
sieur Babolain,  won't  you  ?  There,  now  I  am  quiet 
again,  now  I'll  set  to  work.  Will  you  give  me  the  ex- 
pression if  you  please  ?  " 

"  What  expression  ?     I — " 

"That's  a  droll  question.  You  have  just  killed 
your  brother,  haven't  you  ?  " 

I  instantly  remembered  Cain.  "  Oh  !  yes,  par- 
don me,  Mademoiselle,  I  have  killed  my  brother. 
Ha,  ha  ! — the  figment  is  a  little — " 


BABOLAIN.  65 

"Well,  after  this  murder  you  can't  look  as  if  you 
were  stringing  pearls;  that  nail  is  your  brother;  look 
at  it  in  horror  and  bewilderment.  A  baby  two  weeks 
old  would  understand  that." 

I  could  not  tell  how  distressing  the  grimace  she 
wanted  was  to  me,  yet  I  set  about  making  it  with  the 
utmost  possible  good  will.  After  an  instant  she  sud- 
denly exclaimed : 

"  Mamma,  I  can't  do  anything  with  that  coat,  that 
white  collar,  that  blue  cravat."  I  shuddered.  "  The 
costume  is  so  commonplace  that  it  takes  away  all  my 
strength." 

*'  That  is  true,  my  darling ;  let  us  see,  what  could 
we  devise  to  prevent  it  ?  Your  sketch  is  very  bold, 
my  child.  Ah  !  if  Monsieur  Babolain  would  allow 
me  to  throw  the  large  white  cloth  over  his  shoulders. 
What  do  you  think  of  that  ?  By  arranging  it  a  lit- 
tle—" 

Esther's  face  suddenly  brightened.  "  Oh !  that  is 
it,  yes,  certainly.     But  where  is  the  white  cloth  ? " 

"  In  the  dining-room,  over  the  preserves.  I  will 
go  and  get  it,"  murmured  Mme.  Paline  leaving  the 
room. 

We  were  alone  together :  it  seemed  to  me  as  if 
Esther's  face  was  suddenly  divested  of  a  mask.  She 
cast  down  her  eyes  and  said  with  an  air  of  embarrass- 
ed modesty  :  "  You  are  not  angry  with  me  on  account 
of  my  gayety  just  now.  Yet,  I  am  not  malicious.  I 
assure  you,  there  is  no  need  of  thinking  me  more 
foolish  than  I  am.  I  have  my  little  freaks,  I  know 
very  well — in  short,  if  1  have  caused  you  pain,  I  beg 
your  pardon."  She  looked  at  me  very  sweetly  with 
an  expression  of  kindness.  There  was  more  than 
kindness  in  the  glance. 

"  Do  not  say  such  things,  I  beg  of  you,"  I  said 
in  my  turn.     I  wanted  to  throw  myself  down  at  her 
feet.     "  I  know  my  deficiencies ;  I  know  how  offen- 
sive they  are —    Continue  to  make  a  little  fun  of  me  ; 
5 


66  BABOLAIN. 

if  you  did  not,  it  would  seem  as  if  you  were  long- 
ing to." 

I  was  so  deeply  agitated  that  I  scarcely  noticed 
Mme.  Paline,  who  had  brought  in  the  white  cloth, 
and  was  already  preparing  to  arrange  it  over  my 
shoulders.  I  was  thinking,  are  not  these  singular 
manners  which  fools  cannot  clearly  interpret,  a  proof 
of  the  most  angelic  frankness .'  Why  have  I  failed  to 
understand  this  ?  Could  I  have  lost  my  common 
sense  in  consequence  of  wishing  to  explain  every- 
thing by  analysis  and  logic  ?  Could  my  mind  already 
have  become  so  vitiated  by  the  theoretical  study  of 
phenomena,  that  I  was  no  longer  able  to  distinguish 
the  real  tenderness  under  these  apparent  follies  ? 
Could  science  have  withered  my  heart?  She  too  is 
agitated,  she  knows  I  am  watching  her,  that  each 
glance  of  mine  is  like  the  blow  of  a  scalpel  which 
can  lay  bare  some  fibre  of  her  heart.  And  if  after- 
wards— oh  God  !  I  am  reasoning  falsely. 

"  Why  do  you  cast  down  your  eyes,  Monsieur 
Babolain,  you  have  lost  a  len-cent  piece." 

And  if  afterwards,  to-morrow  perhaps,  she  should 
say  :  "  Ah,  well !  dissimulation  is  no  longer  possible. 
Enough  of  trials  for  you,  enough  of  constraint  for 
me,  let  us  belong  to  each  other."  If  she  should  say 
this  to  me,  should  I  dare  to  accept — should  I  be  wor- 
thy of  it  1  Should  I  dare  to  blight  her  divine  artless- 
ness  by  contact  with  my  analytical  skepticism  ?  I  pit- 
ied myself — I  found  myself  too  strong. 

Meantime  Esther  was  sketching,  sometimes  im- 
petuously, sometimes  with  care.  Suddenly  she  turn- 
ed pale,  rose,  snatched  the  sheet  of  paper  upon 
which  she  had  been  working,  crushed  it  in  her  little 
hands,  and  threw  it  into  the  middle  of  the  room  with 
the  fragments  of  the  crayon. 

"There,  that  is  all,  I  have  finished — I  thank  you; 
I  have  what  I  want,"  she  said  to  me,  and  threw  her- 
self upon  the  cushions  of  a  sofa  that  stood  near. 


BABOLAIN.  67 

Mme.  Paline  hastily  went  forward,  and  I  sprang 
towards  her,  although  somewhat  embarrassed  by  the 
huge  cloth  in  which  I  was  wrapped. 

''  My  child,  my  daughter,  what  is  the  matter,  my 
dear  ? " 

"  Mademoiselle,  are  you  ill  ?  " 

"  Gome,  my  beautiful  darhng,  I  am  here,  what  is 
the  matter  ?  Tell  your  mother,  you  will  drive  me  to 
despair." 

"  Nothing  is  the  matter,  nothing,  leave  me." 

We  could  not  see  her  face,  which  was  turned  to- 
wards the  wall,  but  we  could  see  her  clenched  hand 
rubbing  the  cushions,  while  her  foot  tapped  the  floor 
incessantly. 

"  Let  me  venture  to  suggest  a  glass  of  water  with 
a  little  orange  flower,  Mademoiselle." 

"  For  Heaven's  sake  hush  !  you  will  give  me  a  ner- 
vous attack  ;  your  voice  sets  my  teeth  on  edge — sets 
my  teeth  on  edge." 

"  Leave  us,  my  friend,"  said  Mme.  Paline,  "  I  do 
not  understand  this,  but  your  presence  agitates  her 
— I  perceive  she  is  on  the  point  of  bursting  into  tears. 
Poor  dear,  poor  love  !  "  she  added. 

I  divested  myself  of  the  cloth,  took  my  hat,  and 
reached  the  door.  But  when  I  had  crossed  the 
threshold,  I  paused  an  instant,  I  could  not  make  up 
my  mind  to  leave  her  in  such  a  critical  condition. 

Almost  immediately  Mme.  Paline  said  in  an  irri- 
tated voice,  "  Well,  what  is  the  meaning  of  this  non- 
sense ?  " 

"  He  sets  my  teeth  on  edge,  that  is  all,"  replied 
the  young  girl  with  perfect  calmness.  "  Tell  me, 
mother,  did  you  know  that  the  sofa  was  ripped  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Cirbec  did  it  the  other  evening  when  he 
sat  down." 


68  B ABO  LAIN. 


VII. 

So  I  set  her  teeth  on  edge — my  mere  presence 
had  been  the  cause  of  this — I  was  an  unhappy  wretch, 
a  Pariah !  Had  I  not  irritated  my  companions  all 
my  life  ?  I  set  her  teeth  on  edge,  she  could  not  endure 
the  sound  of  my  voice,  my  person  was  odious  to  her. 
And  yet  had  she  not  an  hour  before  asked  pardon  for 
her  jests,  had  she  not  said  to  me  :  "  I  am  neither  fool- 
ish nor  malicious."  Did  I  not  remember  the  loving 
gentleness  of  her  voice,  the  almost  tender  expression 
of  her  glance  ?  Was  the  irritation  of  the  nerves  I 
caused  her  real  ?  The  calmness  with  which  she  had 
spoken  of  it  was  at  least  strange.  And  that  way  of 
cutting  short  all  explanations  by  remarking  that  the 
sofa  was  ripped,  what  was  I  to  think  of  it  ?  Did  she 
know  I  was  still  there  behind  the  door,  and  wish  to 
subject  me  to  a  fresh  trial  ? 

I  could  not  close  my  eyes  all  night.  After  having 
tossed  about  for  several  hours,  I  lighted  my  lamp  and 
opened  Dr.  Virey's  treatise  upon  women.  I  had  read 
and  re-read  this  physiological  work,  covered  its  mar- 
gins with  notes,  and  I  must  say  that  from  these  irre- 
futable statistics,  these  scientific  documents,  these  lu- 
minous observations,  I  had  obtained  certain  unknown 
quantities  of  great  value.  But  now,  like  people  who, 
after  having  cheated  their  hunger  by  reading  a  cook 
book,  would  give,  at  six  o'clock  in  the  evening,  all 
the  culinary  treatises  in  the  world  for  a  little  cutlet 
cooked  to  a  nicety,  I  found  Dr.  Virey's  book,  which 
had  been  a  most  constant  friend,  dry  and  barren. 

About  nine  o'clock  in  the  morning  I  received  a 
little  note  from  Mme.  Paline ;  it  contained  these  few 
words :  "  A  terrible  crisis  ;  do  not  come."  At  first  I  im- 
agined that  the  poor  child  was  dead,  and  kissed  the 
note. 

I  could  now  account  for  my  painful  sleeplessness ; 


BABOLAIN.  69 

could  I  sleep  when  she  was  suffering  ?  Had  we  not 
a  mysterious  and  powerful  influence  over  each  other  ? 
She  had  vainly  sought  to  escape  from  it,  and  con- 
ceal its  effects,  poor  darling  !  No,  no,  I  did  not 
set  her  teeth  on  edge,  I  did  more  :  I  tortured  her 
heart. 

Half  an  hour  after,  I  was  in  the  Rue  Saint  Sulpice 
seeking  in  the  aspect  of  the  house  some  visible  trace 
of  this  terrible  crisis.  How  could  these  old  stones 
remain  insensible  and  preserve  their  usual  appearance 
at  such  a  moment !  I  approached  the  threshold  of 
their  dwelling,  and  suddenly  fled.  To  merely  expose 
her  to  the  sight  of  me  was  to  make  her  incur  the 
greatest  danger  !  How  had  I  been  imprudent,  selfish 
enough  to  come  here  ! 

My  heart  beat  violently,  and  I  wandered  through 
the  streets,  experiencing  however  a  species  of  conso- 
lation, in  suffering  at  the  same  time  that  she  was,  in 
taking  my  share  in  this  horrible  crisis. 

1  know  not  how  it  happened,  but  I  soon  found  my- 
self in  the  great  gallery  of  the  museum  before  the 
Rubens  pictures  she  loved  so  much.  Several  artists 
were  working  as  usual  without  seeming  to  suspect  that 
Esther  was  not  there.  The  paintings  by  the  great 
masters  seemed  to  have  lost  their  brilliancy  of  color- 
ing ;  a  veil  of  melancholy  was  spread  over  the  gal- 
lery, and  among  the  various  ladders  and  stools  I  won- 
dered which  were  the  ones  she  had  used. 

Towards  evening,  unable  to  restrain  myself  any 
longer,  I  resolutely  ascended  the  staircase  leading  to 
the  ladies'  apartments,  but  in  spite  of  my  persistence 
was  not  admitted,  and  on  the  following  day  and  the 
next  day  after  that,  still  had  the  same  ill-success.  I 
was  in  despair,  and  said  to  myself:  "  It  is  over,  it  is 
really  over,  I  cannot  go  back  again  since  they  do  not 
wish  to  see  me."  The  idea  of  leaving  Paris  returned 
to  my  mind,  but  the  thought  now  caused  me  a  pang 
very  different  from  the  one  I  had  felt  in  the  past  \  I 


70  BAB  O  LAIN. 

could  no  longer  reason,  give  an  account  of  myself, 
see  my  mental  condition  clearly. 

The  third  day,  as  1  was  making  a  final  attempt  to 
enter,  I  met  Esther's  mother  on  the  staircase.  "  You 
here,  Monsieur  .-*  "  said  she  with  evident  emotion.  Her 
usual  noble  bearing  had  acquired  a  grave  and  impos- 
ing dignity  which  overwhelmed  me.  It  seemed  as  if 
I  was  about  to  appear  before  a  justly  irritated  judge  ;  I 
murmured  : 

"  I  was  so  anxious  that  I  did  not  have  courage — 
how  is  she  ?  " 

"  Better,thank  you  ;  but  let  us  go  up  if  you  please ; 
an  explanation  between  us  has  become  inevitable,  let 
us  go  up,  Monsieur." 

I  followed  her  into  a  little  dark  room,  and  Mme. 
Paline,  after  carefully  closing  the  doors,  seated  herself 
in  a  chair,  and  raised  her  handkerchief  to  her  eyes, 
while  the  sound  of  ill-suppressed  sobs  became  audi- 
ble ! 

"I  surprise  you,  do  I  not?  "  said  she.  "You  are 
asking  yourself  the  cause  of  my  grief  Oh  !  unfortu- 
nate young  man,  why  did  you  ever  cross  the  thresh- 
old of  this  home  ?  " 

"  Do  not  weep,  Madame,  I  implore  you."  I  was 
trembling  and  dared  not  look  her  in  the  face.  "  Oh  ! 
God,  what  have  I  done  ?  " 

"  What  has  he  done  .''  You  have  made  two  lonely 
defenceless  women  wretched.  Monsieur.  You  have — " 

"  But  how  is  that  possible  when  I  would  give  my 
life  to  make  you  happy  .-*  " 

"  Whether  the  mischief  was  voluntary  or  not, 
matters  little :  and  besides,"  she  added  with  a  heart- 
rending sigh,  "we  will  not  go  back  to  that,  we  will  not 
go  back  to  that.  The  only  thing  left  for  me  to  do  is 
to  appeal  to  your  honor,  your  integrity.  Go,  young 
man,  go  ;  put  the  world  between  us,"  and  amid  her 
sobs,  while  with  her  extended  arm  she  seemed  to 
thrust  me  back,  she  faltered  :    "  Esther — Esther  loves 


BABOLAIN.  7 1 

you  !  Do  you  understand  what  anguish  it  costs  me 
to  make  such  confessions  ?  Do  you  understand  what 
strength,  what  maternal  love  I  need,  to  save  me  from 
dying  of  shame  ?  Oh  !  go,  I  implore  you.  You  see 
I  implore  you  upon  my  knees  when  I  might  com- 
mand ;  I  trample  under  foot  every  feeling  of  pride ; 
but  it  seems  as  if  my  head  was  confused ;  I  have  no 
longer  the  strength,  no  I  have  no  longer  the  strength 
to  struggle.  If  the  smallest  remnant  of  kindness 
still  lingers  in  your  soul,  fly  Monsieur,  save  my  poor 
child." 

She  had  placed  her  arm  on  my  shoulder,  and  was 
on  the  point  of  throwing  herself  at  my  feet,  while 
with  tears  she  repeated :  "  Save  her,  save  her."  At 
last,  overwhelmed  by  emotion, she  sank  fainting  in  my 
arms. 

"  Let  me  speak,  Madame,  in  Heaven's  name  let 
me  speak,"  said  I,  making  the  most  tremendous  ex- 
ertions to  replace  Mme.  Paline  in  her  arm  chair,  for 
I  was  by  no  means  strong.  "  Calm  yourself,  listen  to 
me — the  truth  must  be  confessed,however  painful  the 
avowal  may  be.  I  too — I — pray  calm  yourself."  I 
timidly  slapped  the  hands  of  the  unhappy  mother, 
who  soon  opened  her  eyes ;  then  I  continued  : 

"  Yes,  I  should  have  concealed  it  from  you  all  my 
life,  I  concealed  it  even  from  myself,  but  the  hour 
has  come  ;  I  must  speak." 

"Well,  speak." 

"  I  love — love,  I  adore  Mademoiselle  Esther." 

"  Monsieur  !  " 

"  And  my  life — oh !  I  am  sincere  ;  all  my  life 
shall  be  devoted  to  her." 

"  Do  not  go  on,"  she  said  loudly,  then  resummgher 
former  low  tone,  continued  slowly  and  bitterly :  "  He 
does  not  even  perceive  the  insult  contained  in  his  au- 
dacious proposal ;  no,  no,  he  does  not  understand  it. 
Oh  !  Lord,  give  me  strength  to  be  calm.  Do  you  not 
know  that  an  ill-assorted  union,  far  from  repairing 


'J2  BABOLAIN. 

the  evil  you  have  done,  would  render  it  still  more  ir- 
reparable. The  language  you  use  Monsieur,  I  heard 
long  ago,  and  paid  for  the  folly  of  giving  it  credence 
by  a  whole  life  of  sacrifice.  My  husband  also  im- 
plored me,  threw  himself  at  my  feet.  He  too  said  to 
me  :  '  My  name  and  my  life  are  yours.'  I  was  young 
and  beautiful,  and  I,  a  Martignac- Corbon,  married 
this  notary,  who  took  it  all  as  a  very  simple  matter, 
having  paid  for  it  with  his  money.  My  daughter  and 
I  are  not  rich,  I  say  it  without  shame,  but  our  honor, 
our  independence,  are  all  the  dearer  to  us  ;  and  you 
may  be  sure  our  souls  are  too  lofty  to  be  dazzled  by  a 
fortune  whose  charms  you  undoubtedly  exaggerate. 
You  have  to  deal  with  two  artists,  Monsieur,  and  two 
women  of  aristocratic  birth." 

For  the  first  time  for  many  days  I  remembered 
that  I  was  rich,  and  was  only  the  more  dazzled  by  the 
greatness  of  soul,  the  haughty  disinterestedness  of 
these  two  noble  creatures. 

So  that  which  facilitates  the  happiness  of  other 
men  was  causing  my  irreparable  loss.  For  an  in- 
stant I  hated  my  uncle  of  Beaugency,  whose  legacy 
thus  destroyed  my  life.  If,  at  that  moment,  I  had 
had  my  whole  fortune  in  a  portfolio,  with  what  joy 
I  would  have  thrown  it  out  of  the  window  !  But  this 
was  not  the  only  obstacle.  I  was  not  of  noble  birth, 
my  name  was  of  the  humblest,  it  was  not  allowable 
for  them  to  cast  aside  the  prejudices  of  their  rank. 
My  face  probably  expressed  deep  sorrow,  for  Mme. 
Paline  said  fhore  mildly  : 

"  Perhaps  fate  has  done  all ;  I  will  still  esteem 
you  ;  but  go,  go  quickly." 

"  If  there  are  any  means —  Leave  one  ray  of  hope, 
Madame.  Yes,  it  is  true,  I  have  wealth.  I  did  not 
think  of  it,  but  it  is  not  so  difficult  to  ruin  one's  self; 
1  can  give  away  everything,  and  thus  buy  the  happi- 
ness of  being  poor." 

"  Don't  say  such  foolish  things,  noble  as  they  may 


BABOLAIN.  73 

appear.  People  do  not  resign  an  inheritance  legally 
and  honestly  transmitted,  any  more  than  they  re- 
nounce the  honorable  name  their  parents  leave  them. 
It  cannot,  must  not  be  done.  Would  you  have  it 
supposed  that  the  fortune  you  have  inherited  was  ac- 
quired by  dishonest  means,  and  that  you  blush  to 
accept  it  ?  Would  not  people  see  in  your  conduct 
either  an  undue  pride,  or  the  proof  of  a  shame  in 
which  you  wish  to  have  no  share  ? " 

"  Yet  if  I  owed  no  one  anything  except  myself, 
your  daughter's  hand  must  be  deserved,  I  feel  that 
fully.  Yes,  I  perceive  that  at  this  moment  I  am  still 
unworthy  of  her.  She  will  be  famous  at  some  future 
time,  illustrious,  and  the  wealth  her  talent  will  secure 
will  be  a  hundred  times  greater  than  mine.  I  too 
will  labor  to  make  myself  a  name.  There  are  admira- 
ble tasks  to  attempt  in  the  sciences.  If  I  have  not  a 
brilliant  intellect,  I  am  at  least  accustomed  to  work  ; 
and  one  is  very  strong,  Madame,  when  happiness  de- 
pends upon  the  success  of  his  efforts."  I  pressed 
both  hands  to  my  head,  and  could  say  no  more.  I 
heard  the  excellent  woman  murmur,  "  How  he  loves 
her,  good  heavens,  how  he  loves  her  !  "  She  soon 
continued,  in  a  choking  voice  : 

"Say  no  more,  in  Heaven's  name  ;  let  me  reflect; 
do  not  compel  me  to  reply ;  your  sentiments  touch 
me,  the  eloquence  of  your  heart  agitates  me ;  at  this 
moment  I  am  no  longer  mistress  of  my  feelings.  Ah  1 
doubtless  if  I  listened  only  to  them,  I  should  tell  you 
to  hope.  What  to  me  are  the  prejudices  of  wealth 
and  rank !  But  I  am  a  mother ;  I  have  the  charge  of 
a  soul ;  I  have  no  right  to  authorize  my  child  to  com- 
mit a  folly  for  which  the  world  would  never  pardon 
her;  to  openly  defy  the  opinions  of  the  society  in 
which  she  ought  to  move.  Say  no  more,  you  would 
perhaps  persuade  me.  Oh  !  I  thought  I  was  strong- 
er, I — I — Great  heavens  !  I  hear  my  daughter's  step, 
she  is  coming.     Open  the  door,  do  not  let  hec  suspect 


74  B ABO  LAIN. 

anything,  oh !  my  friend,  do  not  let  her  suspect  any- 
thing ;  she  would  die." 

Esther  entered  almost  immediately.  She  was  very 
calm,  and  was  humming  a  little  tune  with  the  most 
perfect  unconcern.  How  much  self-control  and  firm- 
ness she  possessed,  what  delicacy  and  dignity  she 
displayed  in  this  apparent  indifference.  Shall  I  ever 
reach  the  height  of  your  lofty  soul,  noble  girl  ? 

"  You  look  pale,  Monsieur  Babolain,"  she  said, 
*'  it  is  doubtless  owing  to  your  blue  cravat.  Nothing 
makes  one  look  so  pale  as  blue." 

"  My  cravat — "  I  murmured  in  my  confusion,  "  oh 
yes,  the  blue — do  you  think  my  cravat  ugly,  Made- 
moiselle !  " 

"  Why  no,  not  ugly,  and  you — " 

Perfectly  incapable  of  sustaining  any  conversa- 
tion, I  was  about  to  withdraw,  when  Mme.  Paline 
turning  towards  me  with  solemn  majesty,  said  : 

"  Well,  my  dear  friend,  offer  your  honest  hand  to 
my  beloved  daughter,  perhaps  she  will  not  refuse  it." 
And  added  in  a  lower  tone  :  "  If  I  am  doing  wrong, 
may  God  judge  my  motives." 


VIII. 

Some  time  after  the  events  related  in  the  last 
chapter,  an  elegant  carriage  drew  up  noisily  before 
one  of  the  court-yards  rarely  to  be  met  with  in  the 
Rue  Vaugirard,  and  a  little  man,  awkward  enough  in 
his  manners,  but  elaborately  dressed  and  with  dain- 
tily curled  hair,  alighted  and  offered  his  hand  to  two 
very  beautiful  ladies. 

The  little  man  was  myself;  one  of  the  two  ladies 
was  my  future  mother-in-law,  the  other  my  adored 
Esther,  whom  I  was  going  to  marry.  My  delight  was 
so  great  that  I  burst  into  a  laugh  every  minute,  tore 
the  ladips'  laces,  or  stepped  upon  their  skirts.     To 


BABOLAIN.  75 

think  that  I  was  going  to  be  united  by  the  closest 
ties  to  these  two  ladies  who  were  so  proud  and  im- 
posing in  their  regal  costume  ! 

"  Isn't  the  first  appearance  charming  ? "  said  Mme. 
Paline  as  soon  as  she  was  out  of  the  carriage ;  "  this 
entrance  between  two  pavilions,  the  trees,  of  whose 
foliage  one  can  catch  a  glimpse — I  am  sure  it  will 
suit  us  perfectly." 

We  entered.  "Is  the  ground  floor  still  to  let,  my 
child  ?  "  continued  my  mother-in-law,  addressing  the 
young  woman  who  performed  the  duties  of  concierge. 
*'  Very  well,  then  show  it  to  us." 

"  Yes,  show  it  to  us,"  I  repeated.  I  had  an  inde- 
scribable desire  to  talk,  to  make  myself  conspicuous. 
While  the  concierge  was  shaking  her  bunch  of  keys 
and  noisily  opening  the  doors,  Mme.  Paline,  looking 
around  through  her  eye-glasses,  said  carelessly  :  "This 
isn't  bad  ;  this  is  the  little  drawing-room,  where  is  the 
large  one  ?  " 

"  Madame  is  in  the  large  drawing-room.  The 
little  one  is  farther  on,  at  the  side  of  the  dining- 
room." 

"  Your  large  drawing-room  is  by  no  means  enor- 
mous, my  pretty  child; what  did  you  say,  twenty-four 
feet  long  ?     Ah  !  " 

As  for  me,  being  unable  to  imagine  that  such  a 
magnificent  suite  of  apartments  could  ever  become 
mine,  I  but  feebly  concealed  my  admiration.  Esther 
said  smiling : 

"  Pray  hush,  you  seem  as  if  you  had  always  occu- 
pied a  fourth  floor  at  Pantin.  This  suite  is  reasona- 
bly handsome,  nothing  more." 

"  After  all,  I  see  only  four  sleeping-rooms,"  con- 
tinued Mme.  Paline. 

"  There  are  two  more  extra  chambers,  a  lumber- 
room,  and  several  closets  which  can  be  used  as  bed- 
rooms." 

"  Is  there  a  stable  and  coach-house  ?  " 


76  BABOLAIN. 

"  No,  Madame." 

"  That  happens  just  right,"  said  I  gayly. 

"  You  can't  keep  still  a  moment,"  murmured  Esther, 
while  my  mother-in-law,  after  casting  a  glance  of  dis- 
pleasure at  me,  continued  with  a  very  sly  smile : 

"  Undoubtedly  it  will  do  very  well  if  I  sell  my 
horses,  but  I  am  not  at  all  decided  about  it." 

This  jest,  whose  sole  object  was  to  deceive  the 
concierge,  wounded  me  deeply,  for  I  always  had  an 
instinctive  horror  of  falsehoods  whether  small  or 
great;  but  I  soon  thought  no  more  about  it ;  I  was 
too  deeply  in  love  to  search  into  anything.  I  never 
left  my  future  wife,  I  feasted  my  eyes  upon  her  every 
gesture,  my  ear  was  always  strained  to  catch  her 
most  unimportant  words,  and  if  she  chanced  to 
brush  against  me,  I  was  as  grateful  as  if  she  had 
done  me  a  signal  service.  Moreover,  it  was  impossi- 
ble for  me  to  analyze  my  sensations,  the  time  was 
actually  wanting.  I  was  obliged  to  run  to  the  nota- 
ry's, accompany  the  ladies  to  the  upholsterer's,  the 
fancy-goods  stores  —  I  accepted  everything,  found 
everything  perfect.  Nothing  was  too  handsome  or 
too  dear,  provided  the  selection  was  made  quickly. 
And  then  my  ideas  about  my  income  were  of  the 
vaguest ;  at  times  I  was  even  induced  to  believe  my 
resources  inexhaustible,  and  thus  I  met  half  way 
the  scruples  the  ladies  were  sometimes  kind  enough 
to  expresss : 

"  I  beg  of  you,"  said  I,  "  to  do  me  the  favor  to 
choose  for  me.  My  taste  is  not  good,  and  I  should 
commit  some  folly.  The  worst  thing  that  can  happen 
will  be  that  we  shall  be  ruined  together." 

"  My  children,"  said  Mme.  Paline  when  we  had 
re-entered  the  carriage,  "  all  this  is  very  well,  but  we 
must  act  prudently  :  economy  is  a  necessity  to  every- 
body. Now  these  apartments  we  have  just  seen  are 
suitable."  ,    . 

"  1  think  them  really  princely,"  I  observed. 


BABOLAIN.  fj 

"  A  thing  may  be  princely  and  yet  be  only  suita- 
ble. I  admit  they  are  large.  Esther,  do  you  remem- 
ber your  cousin  Madame  Salvain's  large  drawing- 
room  ?  " 

"No,  mamma." 

"  I  am  surprised — although  in  fact  you  were  too 
young  to  recollect  it.  What  a  charming  drawing- 
room  the  de  Salvain's  was !  But  no  matter.  These 
rooms  are  not  bad,  but  the  price  seems  rather — to  be 
sure,  I  shall  pay  a  part  of  the  rent.  You  know,  my 
friend,  we  agreed  upon  that." 

I  felt  wounded.  Was  this  pitiful  question  of 
money  to  keep  coming  back  every  instant  ?  If  it 
could  only  be  smothered  once  for  all.  "  Madame," 
said  I,  "  let  all  that  pass,  I  beg  of  you." 

"  Oh  !  I  am  inflexible.  If  I  consent  to  live  with 
you,  my  children,  it  is  on  condition  of  being  entirely 
independent,  and  consequently  of  paying  my  share 
of  the  rent" 

"  We  must  put  mediaeval  paintings  on  glass  into 
all  the  windows,"  said  Esther,  whose  eyes  were  spark- 
ling ;  "  then  in  the  dining-room  an  immense  side- 
board loaded  with  chased  dishes  and  goblets.  I  want 
an  organ  in  the  drawing-room,  oh !  I  do  want  an 
organ." 

"  Nothing  is  more  simple,  Mademoiselle." 

"  Yes,  of  course,  but  I  want  a  large  organ  that 
will  reach  to  the  ceiling.  I  will  paint  the  ceiling  my- 
self; it  is  splendid  to  compose." 

Mme.  Paline  looked  at  us  with  an  expression  of 
infinite  affection,  and  said,  smiling : 

"  Ah !  my  poor  children,  I  see  very  plainly  that  you 
will  do  something  foolish  if  I  don't  interpose.  It  is 
necessary  to  calculate  in  arranging  one's  style  of 
living,  and  you  forget  that  the  rent  of  these  apart- 
ments is  three  hundred  louis.  It  is  enormous,  espe- 
cially in  this  locality." 

"  But  we  are  in  the  centre  of  the  Faubourg  Saint 
Germain,"  said  Esther. 


yS  BABOLAIN. 

"  The  centre  of  the  Faubourg  Saint  Germain,"  I 
repeated  mechanically. 

Yes,  that  is  true,  I  speak  of  the  rent  because  it  is 
my  duty  to  calculate  for  you ;  if  it  were  not  for  that 
— I  don't  think  the  rooms  dear  on  any  other  account." 

"  It  seems  to  me  that  they  are  relatively  cheap — ■ 
what  do  you  think,  Mademoiselle  ?  " 

"  I  think  it  a  mere  nothing  ;  they  are  a  godsend : 
that  drawing-room  twenty-four  feet  long,  and  the  im- 
mense chamber  at  the  back  which  will  make  a  de- 
lightful studio." 

"  As  for  that,"  observed  my  mother-in-law,  "  the 
chamber  at  the  back  is  of  inestimable  value  to  us — 
no,  really,  three  hundred  louis  is  not  a  large  price." 

"  I  believe  the  concierge  is  mistaken,  mamma ;  it  is 
worth  more." 

"  In  that  case  we  must  make  haste,"  said  I.  "  The 
opportunity  should  not  be  allowed  to  escape  ;  what 
do  you  think  of  it,  Madame  ?  " 

"We  must  reflect,  my  children  ;  I  admit,  however, 
that  we  shall  find  nothing  so  well  adapted  to  our 
wants." 

"  Pray  let  me  hire  these  rooms  which  Mademoi- 
selle Esther  likes  so  well." 

"  Ah  !  how  much  trouble  I  shall  have  in  making 
you  economical  ;   very  well." 

"  Suppose  we  go  and  look  at  organs,  mother." 

"  Little  goose,  you  know  very  well  we  have  an 
appointment  about  the  camels'  hair  shawls.  Mean- 
time, you  might  go  and  see  the  landlord,  my  friend, 
since  somewhat  against  my  will  you  have  made  up 
your  mind — 1  think  it  would  be  well  to  close  the  bar- 
gain immediately.  From  there  you  will  join  us  at 
the  upholsterer's.  Don't  lose  any  time,  for  you 
know  vv-e  must  choose  the  silver  at  five  o'clock.  How 
many  things  to  do,  good  heavens!  without  counting 
the  dressmaker!  Come,  let  us  go;  good-by  till  we 
meet  again." 


BABOLAIN.  79 

"  Don't  be  long,"  murmured  Esther,  bowing  to  m.e 
with  a  delicious  smile. 

She  had  winning  ways  which  made  me  almost  wild. 

I  believe  that  during  the  few  days  preceding  my 
marriage  I  actually  had  the  vertigo  ;  I  was  hurried, 
along  and  certainly  had  not  the  free  use  of  my  ana- 
lytical faculties. 

One  fine  evening  in  the  drawing-room  in  the  Rue 
Vaugirard,  which  was  still  destitute  of  furniture  and 
sonorous  as  a  cathedral,  a  notary  in  a  white  cravat, 
seated  before  a  small  table,  opened  a  large  white 
book,  and  by  the  light  of  two  candles  read  our  mar- 
riage contract,  while  the  ladies  whispered  together 
gayly ;  then  a  large  quill  pen  was  passed  around  and 
each  person  affixed  his  signature.  Mine  was  so  small 
and  scratchy — I  wrote  in  that  way — that  among  the 
bold  flourishes  of  the  others  it  looked  as  if  it  had 
introduced  itself  by  stratagem,  like  an  unexpected 
guest  who  appears  just  at  the  dinner  hour, 

A  quarter  of  an  hour  after,  while  Esther,  Timo- 
leon,  Cirbec,  Prudent  de  la  Sarthe,  the  notary,  and 
three  or  four  other  friends  were  engaged  in  some  dis- 
cussion, I  know  not  what,  Mme.  Paline  drew  me  into  a 
corner  and  said : 

"  My  dear  friend,  I  did  not  wish  to  diminish  the 
generosity  of  your  conduct  by  attracting  every  one's 
attention  to  it.  You  have  just  made  by  the  contract 
a  settlement  of  one  hundred  and  twenty  thousand 
francs  upon  my  beloved  daughter :  it  is  acting  like  a 
gentleman,  my  dear  boy.  Among  persons  whose 
hearts  are  in  the  right  place  a  pressure  of  the  hand 
is  sufficient,  is  it  not  ?  " 

"  I  was  afraid  it  might  wound  you,"  I  murmured, 
and  in  fact  I  had  feared  that  they  might  be  offended 
by  my  somewhat  cavalier  method  of  throwing  a  for- 
tune at  their  heads.  Was  it  not  saying  rudely  :  "  I 
am  rich,  you  are  poor."     It  was  very  embarrassing. 

*'  In  accepting  everything  as  a  matter  of  course, 


8o  B ABO  LAIN. 

my  dear  friend,  I  am  giving  you  the  highest  proof  of 
my  esteem.  From  any  one  else — ah  !  I  should  have 
indignantly  refused.  As  for  Esther,  she  knows  noth- 
ing about  business  matters,  the  beautiful  darling,  and 
I  assure  you  she  did  not  understand  a  word  of  all 
that  Greek  ;  but  when  she  learns  what  it  means  I 
foresee  a  storm,  she  is  so  haughty  and  sensitive." 

**  Yet  it  is  very  natural ;  I  should  have  liked  to 
give  her  everything." 

'*  Noble  heart !  Bear  her  first  outburst  gently, 
my  dear  son.  She  will  doubtless  be  grateful  to  you 
in  the  end ;  but  you  have  really  played  a  hazardous 
game." 

My  heart  overflowed  when  towards  midnight  we 
took  leave  of  the  ladies,  who,  since  the  evening  be- 
fore, had  occupied  two  rooms  of  the  large  suite  of 
apartments.  "It  troubles  me  very  much  to  see  you 
camping  out  in  this  way;  you  must  be  very  uncom- 
fortable," I  said  to  them. 

"  Oh  !  no,  no,"  replied  Esther  smiling,  "besides, 
the  upholsterer  has  promised  to  make  haste  ;  will  you 
come  to  breakfast  to-morrow  ?  " 

Some  half  unpacked  boxes  were  strewn  around 
the  ante-chamber,  which  was  dimly  lighted  by  a  lamp 
without  a  shade.  Our  feet  caught  in  the  handfuls  of 
straw  that  no  one  had  thought  of  sweeping  away; 
the  notary  almost  fell  down. 

"  Do  you  know  that  your  future  wife  is  charm- 
ing ?  "  said  Tiinol6on,  when  he  found  himself  alone 
with  me  in  the  street.  "  Really  charming, — refined, 
intelligent,  witty,  and  rich  to  boot."  I  pressed  my 
friend's  arm,  not  daring  to  reply.  "  And  her  moth- 
er ? "  he  added. 

"  Oh  1  my  dear  Timoldon,  when  you  know  her 
you  will  see  what  a  choice  nature  she  has.  She  be- 
longs to  a  noble  family:  my  mother-in-law  is  one  of 
the  Martignac-Corbons,  the  younger  branch — an  art- 
ist like   her  daughter,  but   less   famous  of  Course. 


B ABO  LAIN.  8 1 

No,  you  see,  Timol6on,  I  am  too  happy — a  little  too 
happy.  If  I  had  time  to  think  of  it  I  should  be 
frightened,  but  I  don't  think  of  it,  consequently — " 

"  Consequently  you  are  not  afraid.  Brave  Babo- 
lain !  Ah  !  I'm  confoundedly  glad  of  what  has  be- 
fallen you.  Who  would  have  said  ten  years  ago 
that  you  would  some  day — for  my  part,  I  would  have 
bet  you  would  remain  a  bachelor." 

"  Yes,  it  is  unheard-of,  it  is  a  dream,  for  between 
ourselves  —  you  know  me  well  enough  to  be  able 
to  judge  of  me — between  ourselves,  there  is  noth- 
ing attractive  about  me ;  on  the  contrary,  I  am 
what  people  call  a  queer  fellow.  You  remember  at 
college  ?  And  at  the  normal  school,  oh !  Good 
heavens  !  they  were  not  entirely  wrong.  Ah  !  well,  in 
spite  of  all  that — " 

"  You  are  the  best  of  men,  little  old  man." 

"  Come,  come,  let's  be  serious  and  speak  to  me  as 
to  a  brother :  what  reason  can  Esther  have  for  loving 
me,  for  she — it  is  true,  my  friend,  she  does  ;  we  are 
making  a — love  match !  I  utter  the  word  foolishly, 
like  a  simpleton,  don't  I  ?  My  lips  are  not  formed 
for  such  expressions,  and  they  catch  in  passing.  Any 
one  but  you  would  smile  to  hear  me  say  such  things. 
You  have  never  given  me  a  greater  proof  of  affection 
than  this  evening,  by  sparing  me  the  jests  that  would 
have  caused  me  deep  pain.  At  heart,  you  see,  I  am 
very  sensitive ;  but  as  sensibility  doesn't  suit  the 
character  of  my  face,  I  harden  myself  and  hide  my 
feelings  a  little  under  an  assumed  air  of  unconcern. 
I  will  make  her  happy,  you  shall  see  :  my  head  is  full 
of  plans.  To  a  genius  like  my  wife  the  presence  of 
a  slower,  more  practical  mind,  will  not  perhaps  be  a 
bad  thing :  there  must  be  an  equilibrium  maintained 
in  life :  imagination  needs  to  be  supported  by  analy- 
sis and  critical  judgment.  Of  course  I  am  inferior 
to  Esther,  oh  !  I  don't  deceive  myself  Come,  Timo- 
k'on,  vou  have  often  been  a  little  hard  upon  me,  I'm 
6 


82  BABOLAIN. 

not  reproaching  you  in  the  least,  but  I  remember  you 
have  unintentionally  caused  me  a  great  deal  of  pain. 
I  had  no  other  friend  than  you,  you  know ;  I  loved  you 
so  much,  and — in  short,-  let  us  say  no  more  about  it ; 
we  have  been  good  friends  :  do  you  remember  when 
you  came  to  see  me  in  the  infirmary  at  the  school  ? 
Well,  will  you  be  one  of  my  family  now  ?  You  will 
advise  me,  you  will  be  my  brother.  It  shall  not  pre- 
vent your  making  fun  of  me  a  little,  only  do  it  in  a 
low  tone,  won't  you,  on  account  of  the  ladies.  We 
will  forget  the  past.     Let  me  embrace  you." 

From  the  chaos  and  confusion  of  the  last  hours  I 
spent  upon  this  earth  as  a  bachelor,  it  is  impossible 
for  me  to  regain  any  distinct  impression.  The  night 
before  my  marriage  I  found  myself  in  the  middle  of  the 
Jardin  des  Plantes,  leaning  upon  the  railing  that  sur- 
rounds the  bears'  den,  and  murmuring  passionately : 
"  Esther,  my  Esther,  how  happy  I  will  make  you  ! 
If  you  only  knew  how  I  love  you,  oh  !  if  you  only 
knew  !"  But  alas  !  it  was  impossible  for  her  to 
know,  since  it  was  only  far  away  from  her,  hidden 
in  some  corner,  that  I  dared  to  express  my  tenderness 
in  words. 

Yet  on  the  morning  of  the  great  day,when  I  arriv- 
ed in  full  dress  my  Ji a ncce  said  : 

"Why,  Mister  bridegroom,  look  at  yourself  in  the 
glass,  you  are  not  pale,  you  are  green." 

I  thought  I  perceived  that  she  uttered  the  pleasant- 
ry to  conceal  her  embarrassment.  Diffidence  some- 
times displays  itself  so  strangely,  I  know  what  it  is. 
"  I  am  so  happy,  Mademoiselle,"  I  answered.  It  was 
a  stupid  reply — I  thought  of  it  afterwards — for  happi- 
ness does  not  necessarily  paint  itself  upon  the  coun- 
tenance in  greenish  hues. 

"  Let  us  make  haste,"  said  Mme.  Paline,  "  we 
must  not  keep  people  waiting,  my  children,  Esther, 
my  son,  I  shall  never  have  the  strength  to  endure  so 
niany   different   emotion.s.     Let   us   go   alone  in  the 


BABOLAIN.  83 

carriage,  my  friend ;  let  my  daughter  be  mine  a  few 
moments  longer,  I  beg  of  you,  and  then — " 

"  And  then  we  shall  be  less  crowded,"  added  Es- 
ther gayly.  Although  I  feel  a  little  ashamed  of  it,  I 
will  frankly  confess  that  this  ceremony  in  which  all 
divine  and  human  pomp  united  to  wed — I  quote  the 
words  of  the  priest  who  married  us — to  wed  art  to 
science,  was  a  terrible  ordeal  to  me.  How  could  I 
elevate  my  soul  when  I  was  shivering,  cowering  in 
one  corner  of  a  gilded  arm  chair,  face  to  face  with 
a  crowd  of  people,  and  that  huge  devil  of  a  beadle 
three  yards  high  seemed  to  be  always  on  the  point  of 
bursting  into  a  laugh  ? 

As  the  splendors  of  the  day  slowly  unfolded,  a 
new  terror  took  possession  of  me.  I  had  never  dared 
to  openly  display  my  tenderness,  which  had  conse- 
quently swelled  my  heart  all  the  more,  so  that  I  per- 
ceived with  dread  the  approach  of  a  moment  when  an 
outburst  would  take  place  which  I  should  be  wholly 
unable  to  control.  When  we  should  be  alone  togeth- 
er, what  course  of  action  was  I  to  pursue  ?  Must  she 
not  doubt  my  love  ?  After  all,  nothing  betrayed  the 
feeling  I  had  for  her.  Poor  dear  Esther !  What 
anxiety,  what  fears,  perhaps,  might  have  lurked  in  a 
soul  at  once  too  proud  and  too  timid  to  confess  its 
weakness. 

But  what  joy  we  should  experience  when  the 
hour  for  mutual  confidence  struck  ;  when  we  could  tell 
each  other  the  thousand  delicious  little  tortures  that 
had  preceded  the  divine  outburst  of  emotion  ! 

At  two  o'clock  in  the  morning,  the  entertainment 
being  nearly  over,  I  walked  noiselessly  towards  the 
large  apartment  we  were  henceforth  to  occupy  to- 
gether. To  brighten  and  dry  the  room  which  had 
long  been  unused,  the  servants  had  lighted  a  crack- 
ling fire, before  which  my  wife  was  seated,  watching 
the  flames  and  warming  her  little  satin  boot.  At  the 
noise  of  my  entrance  she  turned  her  head  :     "  Oh  I 


84  BABOLAIJV. 

is  it  you,"  she  said  with  an  unaccountable   pout,  has 
everybody  gone  ?  " 

Naturally  as  the  question  was  asked,  I  shuddered. 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  "  yes,  everybody,  my" — I  did  not 
know  what  to  call  her,  the  moment  was  a  solemn 
one,  the  slightest  awkwardness  might  produce  incal- 
culable consequences.  For  greater  security  I  did  not 
finish  my  sentence  ;  and  slowly  approached  her  with 
short  quick  steps,  shaking  and  trembHng  like  a  child 
who  does  not  know  his  lesson. 

"  Why  do  you  keep  coughing  so,"  she  said  look- 
ing steadily  at  me. 

"  I  don't  know  ;  it  is  nothing,  thank  you ;  I  will  at- 
tend to  it." 

"  Oh  !  if  it  is  a  habit,  you  need  not  put  yourself 
to  any  trouble." 

I  scarcely  understood  what  she  was  saying  to  me, 
for  I  was  suddenly  overwhelmed  by  a  strange  trans- 
port. It  seemed  as  if  a  great  longing  for  love,  which 
had  been  slumbering  within  me  since  my  childhood, 
now  burst  forth.  I  knelt  before  the  young  wife  whose 
heart  was  to  give  mine  a  home,  and  taking  both 
her  hands,  bent  my  head  and  wept.  I  know  not  what 
I  said  amid  my  tears,  which,  far  from  becoming  ex- 
hausted, flowed  more  and  more  freely. 

At  last  I  raised  my  head  and  cried  :  "  Esther,  my 
beloved  wife!  "  while  I  felt  impatiently  in  both  skirts 
of  my  coat  to  find  my  handkerchief,  which  I  needed 
to  wipe  my  face  and  clean  my  glasses  dimmed  by 
ray  tears. 

"  You  will  forgive  me  for  crying  like  a  schoolboy ; 
I  cannot  help  it,  I  had  a  great  many  things  to  say  to 
you  but  I  can't  remember  them.  You  must  not  mis- 
judge me,  I  do  everything  so  awkwardly  that  people 
might  misunderstand — I  am  weeping  for  joy." 

*'  Yes,  but  other  people  would  suppose  1  had  been 
beating  you,  to  st!e  you  in  such  a  condition."  She 
said  this  in  an   affectionate  tone,  "  I   am  not  in  the 


B ABO  LAIN.  85. 

least  vexed.     All  this  means  that  you  are  fond  of  me, 
does  it  not  my  dear  ?     Well  then — " 

It  was  the  first  time  she  had  ever  called  me  dear. 

"You  will  be  indulgent,  my  own  Esther.  You — 
you  see  I  am  trembling  in  the  most  absurd  way,  I  am 
so  afraid  of  not  finding  the  right  words  to  tell  you  I 
love  you ;  so  afraid  of  awkwardness  in  caressing  your 
beautiful  hands  and  luxuriant  hair.  Will  you  let  me 
kiss  them  ?  You  cannot  know  how  beautiful  you  are  ?  " 
She  tapped  her  little  foot  on  the  floor  with  a  smile. 
"  It  is  your  beauty  that  awes  me,  and  your  intellect 
too.  To  say  to  myself  :  I  have  a  wife  who  is  an  art- 
ist ;  intoxicated  with  ideal  beauty — she  will  permit 
me  to  perceive  the  treasures  of  her  heart — thoughts, 
feelings,  everything  shall  be  shared  between  us.  I 
have  made  wonderful  savings  of  tenderness  since  I 
have  been  in  this  world,  my  darling.  You  shall  see, 
you  shall  see.  I  am  addressing  you  so  familiarly.  It 
does  not  annoy  you  ?  " 

"  Not  much,  when  we  are  alone  ;  but  when  other 
people  are  present — " 

"  Yes,  yes,  oh  !  of  course.     How  good  you  are  !  " 

"  Good,  how  do  you  know  ?  " 

"  If  you  were  not,  would  you  speak  to  me  so  gen- 
tly ?  I  know  very  well  there  are  a  thousand  things  in 
my  manners  which  must  displease  you,  and  if  you 
were  not  indulgent  you  would  make  me  see  it." 

I  felt  anxiously  that  I  was  becoming  garrulous ; 
but  it  was  now  impossible  to  be  silent  and  conceal  my 
emotions.  "  It  is  too  much  happiness  at  one  time," 
I  continued.  "  I  feel  dazzled, like  a  man  who,  on  com- 
ing out  of  a  cave  where  he  has  lived  all  his  life, 
looks  directly  at  the  sun." 

"  You  are  poetical,  my  dear  friend." 

"  That  is  saying  a  great  deal ;  but  I  should  cer- 
tainly become  so  if  you  would  let  me  share  your 
thoughts.  One  thing  is  certain  ;  I  have  always  had 
a  longing  to  indulge  in  dreams ;  it  is  the  only  legacy 


S6  BABOLAIN. 

my  father  bequeathed  to  me.  Poor  man  !  How  you 
would  have  loved  him  !  He  was  a  professor  too,  a 
professor  in  the  college  of  Orleans." 

"Indeed!" 

"  Yes,  yes.  He  would  have  been  an  excellent 
professor  if  he  had  had  the  ability  to  make  him- 
self respected  by  his  pupils ;  but  he  was  too  kind, 
too  gentle ;  his  moral  qualities  were  not  apparent ; 
everything  was  imprisoned  in  a  poor  little  feeble  body. 
He  was  drowned  during  the  inundation,  and  I  found 
myself  all  alone.  It  was  a  terrible  moment,  I  assure 
you,  I  can  still  see  his  motionless,  lifeless  body.  I 
would  not  believe  it,  I — " 

"  It  is  a  terrible  death.  But  what  were  you  say- 
ing just  now — about  dreams,  I  believe  ?  " 

''  I  don't  remember.  My  poor  father  would  have 
been  very  proud  if  he  had  lived  long  enough  to  know 
you  and  call  you  '  my  daughter.'  I  remember  he 
was  always  talking  to  me  about — " 

"We  were  speaking  of  poetry — " 

"  Oh  !  yes,  I  was  saying  that  I  had  dreamed  a 
great  deal  during  my  poor  life,  although  to  tell  the 
truth, I  have  never  had  but  one  great  vision  :  that  of 
being  loved  a  little.  Unfortunately — I  have  never 
found  any  opportunity." 

"  You  surprise  me." 

"  No,  never.  It  is  probably  because  I  was  instinct- 
ively waiting  for  you.  Yes,  my  own  Esther,  I  was 
waiting  for  you.  What  a  fortunate  thing  it  is  to  have 
suffered.  For,  you  see,  past  sutTerings  are  a  fortune 
with  which  we  pay  for  the  joys  of  the  future.  Moral 
laws  ordain  that  the  feelings  must  be  properly  bal- 
anced, and  act  as  a  counterpoise  to  each  other, — a 
smile  is  only  the  drying  of  a  tear.  We  must  have 
wept  in  order  to  know  how  to  be  happy,  and  that  is 
why  my  present  happiness  troubles  me,  my  dear  little 
wife.  It  seems  as  if  I  shall  never  be  rich  enough  to 
pay  for  all  this." 


BABOLAIN.  87 

"  We  will  discuss  it  when  the  bills  come  due," 
she  said  gayly."  But  how  tender-hearted  you  are  for 
a  philosopher.  Here  are  your  eyes  growing  wet 
again  !  It's  a  positive  misfortune.  Come,  dry  your 
tears,  my  husband." 

She  took  her  little  embroidered  handkerchief,  per- 
fumed with  verbena,  and  passed  it  over  my  eyes  with 
her  own  hand. 

"  My  love,  my  love,"  I  murmured  in  her  ear,  "  I 
should  like  to  die." 

"  Die  !  ha !  ha !  ha !  you  have  a  mournful  idea  of 
happiness,  and  its  a  curious  fancy  to  want  to  begin 
at  the  end  !  Why  do  you  look  at  me  so  ?  It  seems 
as  if  you  had  a  mourning  veil  over  your  eyes." 

"  Oh  !  pray  don't  fancy  that.  It  is  only  my  spec- 
tacles ;  the  refraction  of  light  often  produces — " 

"  You  shall  explain  it  to  me  some  other  time." 
The  corners  of  her  mouth  drooped  imperceptibly,  the 
dimple  in  her  cheek  grew  still  deeper — "Just  now,  I 
wanted  to  ask  you  something." 

"  How  delightful !  What  do  you  wish  ?  If  it 
would  only  compel  me  to  make  some  great  sacrifice ! 
I  am  yours,  put  me  to  the  test." 

"  Then  you  really  love  me  ?  " 

"  I  adore  you.     Come,  speak." 

"  Well — I  have  wanted  to  ask  you  a  long  time  ; 
by  granting  the  request  you  will  really  give  me  pleas- 
ure." 

She  bent  her  face  so  near  mine  that  her  curls 
brushed  my  cheek  :  "  Wear  a  pair  of  eye-glasses  in- 
stead of  those  frightful  spectacles  ;  "  she  said,  burst- 
ing into  a  little  laugh,  "  will  you  do  that  for  me  ?  " 

And  as  I  murmured  in  some  little  embarrassment : 
"  Why  did  you  not  tell  me  so  before  .''  Good  Heavens, 
it  was  such  a  simple  matter  !  "  she  continued : 

"  Becaus^really  these  spectacles  give  you  some- 
thing like  the  air — I  am  not  offending  you — of  a  sexton 
or  an  alchemist.  But  I  will  say  no  more,  for  you  are 
sensitive." 


88  BABOLAIN. 

"  I  was  not  aware  of  it.  How  little  one  knows 
ones  self!  Oh!  I  beg  of  you,  tell  me  everything  you 
think  of  me.  Since  your  husband  has  ridiculous  pe- 
culiarities,let  us  make  fun  of  him,  it  is  the  surest  way 
of  curing  him." 

The  door  opened  with  a  crash,  and  my  mother-in- 
law  suddenly  entered  the  room. 

"  You  here  ?  "  she  said,  turning  towards  nie  as  I 
knelt  at  my  wife's  feet.  "  Fear  nothing,  my  Esther, 
your  mother  is  here,"  and  making  a  sign  to  me  to 
leave  the  room,  she  added :  "  I  want  to  speak  to  you, 
Monsieur." 

I  followed  my  mother-in-law,  as  in  duty  bound. 
When  we  were  alone  in  the  little  parlor,  where  the 
candles  where  just  going  out,  she  turned  and,  press- 
ing her  hand  upon  her  heart  said  to  me  : 

"  You  have  made  me  ill,  really  made  me  ill.  Why, 
Monsieur,  what  fiend  possesses  you  ?  What  do  you 
conceal  beneath  your  apparent  simplicity  ?  What 
sort  of  a  man  are  you  ?  "  Her  eyes  expressed  terror. 
"  What  society  have  you  frequented,  merciful  God  ! 
What  society  has  he  frequented  to  have  the  hardi- 
hood to  deceive  us  so  ?  " 

"  I  do  not  exactly  understand,"  I  murmured  great- 
ly agitated ;  "  some  one  has  doubtless  been  slander- 
ing me;  explain  yourself,  mother." 

"  Oh  !  do  not  use  that  sacred  name.  Do  you  not 
feel  that  a  mother's  heart  is  bleeding  at  this  moment, 
the  pride  of  noble  birth  is  roused  to  indignation. 
Why  the  very  savages  would  respect  the  last  moments 
of  a  young  girl's  timid  fears  ;  they  would  blush,  upon 
my  honor,  to  enter  the  nuptial  chamber,  as  you  have 
just  done,  before  the  bride  had  received  her  mother's 
blessing.  Above  the  written  law  which  may  perhaps 
authorize, — don't  interrupt  me — which  in  some  cir- 
cles may  perhaps  authorize  such  brutalities,  there  is. 
Monsieur,  the  law  of  honor  and  good  breeding,  and 
this  holds  sacred  the  threshold  of  the  temple  where 


BABOLAIN.  89 

the  weeping  girl  sheds  a  last  tear  and  bends  her  head 
to  receive  her  mother's  blessing.  But  all  this  is  of 
no  consequence  to  you  ;  having  the  text  of  the  law  on 
your  side,  you  care  very  little  about  killing  my  Es- 
ther." 

Although  I  felt  a  certain  respect,  I  will  even  say 
a  species  of  admiration  for  Mme.  Paline,  it  seem- 
ed evident  that  maternal  love  had  blinded  her  strange- 
ly;  so  I  said  with  great  frankness : 

"  You  are  mistaken,  mother." 

"  Ah  !  at  last  you  throw  aside  the  mask.  This  is 
what  was  concealed  beneath  the  diabolical  candor  you 
assumed  in  order  to  deceive  us  more  completely." 

"  Oh !  Madame,  no — let  me — " 

"  And  now  you  are  raising  your  head  again,  you 
intend  to  trample  upon  my  heart." 

"  But  your  mistake — " 

"See  the  insults  he  hurls  into  my  face!  I  had 
not  suffered  enough,  oh !  God.  The  very  day  he 
tears  my  Esther,  my  life  from  me.  I  ought  to  have 
expected  it." 

"What  insults?  I,  insults  !  Calm  yourself,  mother." 

"  No,  I  had  not  suffered  enough  under  my  hus- 
band's yoke.  Strike,  Monsieur,  overwhelm  me,  finish 
your  work,  crush  us  under  your  iron  hand,  drive  me 
away  now,  drive  me  away,  I  have  neither  husband 
nor  brother  to  defend  me.  You  are  a  tiger.  But 
upon  my  soul  I  would  rather  have  you  so.  At  least, 
you  are  no  longer  a  hypocrite." 

"  I  am  in  despair,  pray  listen  to  me." 

"  No,  Monsieur,  I  will  not  listen  to  you.  You  will 
not  force  me  to  do  so,  I  hope.  No,  my  daughter,  I 
will  not  leave  you  alone,  defenceless,  I  will  struggle — 
yes.  Monsieur,  I  will  struggle — " 

She  could  say  no  more,  and  closing  her  eyes, 
sank  into  a  chair.  I  was  beginning  to  lose  my  wits  : 
had  1  not  after  all  committed  some  act  unworthy  of 
a  good  man  ?     My  intentions  were  pure,  it  is  true, 


90  BABOLAIN. 

but  I  might  be  mistaken.  Unfortunately  there  was  no 
time  to  analyze  my  conduct. 

Meantime  Mme.  Paline's  condition  was  really 
alarming  ;  nervous  tremors  shook  her  whole  frame  ; 
her  beautiful  arms  were  writhing  convulsively. 

"  Forgive  me,"  said  I,  although  she  did  not  seem  to 
hear  me,  "  forgive  and  listen  to  me."  It  was,  alas  !  a 
nervous  attack;she  was  subject  to  them.  Her  teeth 
chattered,  and  the  whites  of  her  beautiful  eyes  appear- 
ed between  her  partially  opened  lids  ;  it  was  positively 
terrible.  I  took  her  hands,  besought,  implored,  hum- 
bled myself,  confessed  my  crime  ;  she  did  not  answer, 
and  the  symptoms  continued  to  increase.  Suddenly, 
— necessity  is  the  mother  of  invention — I  had  an 
idea ;  I  ran  into  the  dining-room  which  had  been  left 
in  great  disorder  after  the  entertainment  of  the  night 
before,  poured  out  a  glass  of  water,  dipped  a  napkin 
into  it,  and  hastily  returning  to  the  poor  woman,  who 
must  be  relieved  at  any  rate,  slapped  her  face  brisk- 
ly with  the  wet  cloth. 

Although  very  ill,  she  started  as  if  under  the  in- 
fluence of  an  electric  shock,  rose  instantly,  and  hurl- 
ed at  me  a  glance  in  which  contempt  and  fury  were 
only  too  clearly  depicted. 

"  Brute,  fool !"  she  said  in  a  hollow  tone — and  then 
left  the  room,  while  the  slamming  of  the  door  of  her 
chamber  was  distinctly  audible.  I  stood  bewildered 
holding  in  one  hand  the  half  empty  glass,  and  in  the 
other  the  dripping  napkin.  "If  only  Esther  has  not 
heard  this  scene  ;  she  is  so  sensitive,"  I  thought.  A 
clock  in  the  neighborhood  struck  three  ;  I  put  down 
the  articles  1  held  in  my  hand, and  walked  noiselessly 
towards  my  wife's  room,  at  the  door  of  which  I  cau- 
tiously knocked.  A  little  diplomacy  is  sometimes 
necessary.  I  did  not  think  of  telling  her  a  falsehood, 
but  I  wanted  to  conceal  a  portion  of  the  truth.  I 
knocked  a  second  time  more  loudly,  but  again  receiv- 
ed no  reply.     I  even  tried  to  turn  the  knob ;  the  door, 


BABOLAIN.  91 

which  was  double  locked,  resisted  my  efforts.  Then 
a  feeling  of  indignation  overpowered  me  ;  I  reproach 
myself  for  it,  for  it  was  utterly  useless,  and  I  ought 
first  of  all  to  have  sought  out  the  causes  of  what  was 
befalling  me ;  but  I  was  still  young  and  proud !  I 
should  have  liked  to  knock  again,  call,  force  an  en- 
trance, and  perhaps  might  have  done  so  if  I  had  not 
been  afraid  of  exposing  myself  again  to  the  anger 
of  Mme.  Paline,  who  would  certainly  have  come  at 
the  noise. 

My  overcoat  had  been  left  hanging  in  the  ante- 
chamber ;  I  took  it,  wrapped  myself  up  in  it,  and  re- 
turning to  the  drawing-room  where  the  old  sofa  from 
the  Rue  Saint  Sulpice  had  been  placed,  threw  myself 
upon  it.  Strange,  when  there,  I  experienced  a  sen- 
sation of  comfort;  I  felt  relieved,  like  a  man  whom 
necessity  compels  to  defer  a  difficult  enterprise  until 
the  morrow. 

As  I  felt  my  head  sink  gently  among  the  cushions, 
I  remembered  the  day  when  Esther,  lying  upon  this 
very  sofa,  had  plucked  at  them  with  her  little  white 
hand,  while  I  could  see  her  breast  heave  under  the 
velvet  folds  of  her  huge  wrapper. 

I  had  just  awoke  and  was  in  the  act  of  untying  the 
silk  handkerchief  in  which  I  had  enveloped  my  head, 
when  my  wife  suddenly  entered  the  drawing-room. 

"  What  did  you  do  last  night,"  said  she,  "  my  dear, 
what  did  you  do  .-*  My  mother  has  passed  a  horrible 
night.  How  did  you  forget  yourself  so  far  as  to  pro- 
ceed to  brutality  and  violence  ;  for  my  mother  speaks 
of  brutality  and  violence.  Can  you  not,  if  only  from 
affection  for  me,  restrain  your  passionate  temper  ?  " 

I  was  just  preparing  to  have  a  friendly  explana- 
tion with  Esther  on  the  subject  of  the  locked  door, 
but,  on  perceiving  evident  traces  of  great  vexation 
upon  her  lovely  face,  was  completely  disarmed. 

"  Do  not  grieve  until  you  have  listened  to  me,  my 
darUng,"  said  I;  "  there  is — " 


92  BABOLAIN. 

"  Oh  !  hush,"  she  replied  putdng  her  hand  over 
my  mouth.  "  Would  you  have  me  doubt  my  mother's 
word  ?  She  has  told  me  all.  Alas  !  I  know  very  well 
that  men  consider  it  a  point  of  honor  never  to  yield, 
and  prefer  to  push  energy  to  injustice.  You  do  not 
reproach  yourself  you  say,  but — " 

"  I  have  said  nothing  which  could — " 

"  Have  the  honesty  not  to  distort  facts.  Who 
will  believe,  my  dear,  that  my  poor  mother,  who,  al- 
though she  has  suffered  so  much,  is  so  kind  and  in- 
dulgent, could  be  in  her  present  condition  without  any 
reason  whatever  ?  She  loved  you  so  truly.  Is  not 
her  sensitiveness  in  everything  relating  to  the  affec- 
tions the  clearest  proof  of  her  tenderness  ?  " 

"  Certainly.  But  this  is  exactly  what  happened. 
My  darling,  do  not — " 

"  You  must  perceive  that  all  explanations  from 
you  would  be  simply  an  indirect  accusation." 

"  I  accuse  your  mother  ?  " 

"  Then  you  see  you  regret  what  has  occurred." 

"  Of  course,  but  I  can't  understand  what — " 

"  You  cannot  have  courage  enough  to  acknowl- 
edge even  an  involuntary  wrong,  to  go  to  my  mother 
simply  and  frankly  and  express  your  regret.  You  can- 
not, the  very  next  morning  after  our  marriage, 
sacrifice  your  pride  ever  so  little  for  my  sake.  Ah  I 
well  I  know  you  can  do  all  this,  and — you  will,  won't 
you  ?  " 

No  words  can  describe  the  tenderness  of  the  glance 
she  cast  upon  me.  It  would  have  been  monstrous  to 
resist  her  entreaty.  I  hastened  to  offer  my  apologies 
to  Mme.  Paline,  who  accepted  them  without  any  very 
great  reluctance.  This  little  incident  had  no  annoy- 
ing consequences,  but  it  made  me  perceive  that  I 
must  now  act  with  great  caution  if  I  wished  to  avoid 
wounding  any  one's  feelings. 


BABOLAIN. 


IX. 


93 


Meantime  the  utmost  confusion  reigned  in  the 
large  suite  of  apartments  in  the  Rue  Vaugirard. 
While  men  were  bringing,  piece  by  piece,  the  monu- 
mental organ  which  was  to  occupy  the  back  of  the  draw- 
ing room,  the  locksmiths  were  removing  the  windows 
to  facilitate  the  insertion  of  the  Gothic  painted  glass. 
Upholsterers  were  taking  away  the  carpets  and  hang- 
ings arranged  for  the  wedding  day ;  painters  were 
putting  up  their  stagings  to  transform  the  ceiling  into 
an  azure  sky  strewn  with  golden  stars ;  and  in  the 
midst  of  all  this,  boxes  were  being  unpacked  and 
bales  opened.  Thanks  to  the  indefatigable  activity 
of  the  ladies,  who  traversed  Paris  from  morning  till 
night  and  made  a  quantity  of  purchases,  packages 
of  every  kind  and  all  sizes  were  arriving  every  mo- 
ment. They  were  set  down  haphazard, — here,  there 
and  everywhere,  one  above  another, — but  especially  in 
the  dining  room,  which  had  become  the  central  store- 
house. There  were  piles  of  gilt  dishes  among  band- 
boxes, glasses  under  packages  of  linen,  clothing, 
pictures,  easels,  muffs,  and  engravings  crushed  under 
kitchen  utensils.  All  this  was  so  mingled  with  straw 
and  paper  that  at  first  sight  it  was  impossible  to  dis- 
tinguish anything.  I  should  never  have  imagined 
so  many  things  were  needed  to  commence  house- 
keeping. Yet  they  still  piled  up  the  goods,  and  the 
tide  continually  rose  higher.  What  vexed  me  was 
that  my  papers  and  books  were  lying  at  the  very 
bottom  under  the  chaos  in  the  dining-room.  But  I 
received  packages  and  paid  bills  with  an  enthusi- 
asm which  was  certainly  very  natural — for  within  the 
last  two  days  Esther  had  permitted  me  to  perceive  the 
affection  she  felt  for  me.  I  was  the  husband,  the 
companion  of  this  superior  being  who,  seeking  the 
beautiful  even  in  the  most  ordinary  affairs  of  life, 
could  take  pleasure  only  amid  the  splendors  of  art, 


94  BABOLAIN. 

surrounded  by  the  magnificence  of  gold  and  silk. 
There  must  be  veritable  marvels  in  these  packages. 

My  natural  indifference  to  comfort  and  luxury 
was  now  actually  painful  to  me.  Was  it  not  the  sign 
of  an  intellectual  coarseness  which  was  doubtless 
indelible  ?  I  was  anxious  about  it.  With  that  ex- 
ception, no  cloud  obscured  our  horizon.  It  is  true  I 
watched  my  slightest  gestures,  my  most  unimportant 
words  with  the  greatest  care.  It  must  also  be  men- 
tioned that  the  ladies  were  always  out. 

What  delighted  me  was  that  my  wife  was  begin- 
ning to  trust  me,  and  I  detected  the  first  symptoms 
of  a  great  moral  intimacy.  One  evening,  while  she 
was  unrolling  her  hair,  she  said  to  me  : 

"  I  made  one  great  mistake,  my  dear,  when  I  drew 
my  Cain.  We  give  way  to  perfectly  absurd  raptures. 
That  sketch  can  never  satisfy  me  !  Come,  you  know 
me  well  enough  now  to  appreciate  me,  do  you  really 
think  the  barrenness  of  that  design  can  satisfy  me  ?  " 

It  was  not  only  love,  it  was  friendship,  a  blind 
confidence  in  my  judgment.  If  she  had  known  how 
ignorant  I  was  of  this  grave  question  of  color  and 
design  I  If  she  had  dreamed  that  the  two  words 
had  not  even  a  definite  meaning  to  me  !  And  yet 
at  this  moment  I  imagined  I  understood  everything: 
nothing  was  more  simple,  clearer,  plainer.  I  an- 
swered earnestly. 

"  Of  course  the  sketch  cannot  satisfy  you,  my 
darling,  it  cannot  satisfy  you  ;  it  is  beneath  your  pow- 
ers." 

"  You  talk  foolishly.  It  is  neither  above  nor  be- 
neath them.  Stop,  look  here,  my  hair  is  not  unbe- 
coming raised  in  this  way, — I  merely  say  that  draw- 
ing is  not  my  forte.  You  see  I  have  the  Venetian 
temperament — color  is  my  life." 

"  Could  you  not  always  dress  your  hair  in  that 
way  ?     You  look  so  pretty  1  " 

"  That  wouldn't  hold — yes,  the  Venetian  temper- 


f  BABOLAIN.  95 

ament.  I  feel  it,  I — after  all,  perhaps  it  might,  I 
must  try  with  large  pins.  Do  you  know  what  would 
suit  this  style  of  hair  dressing  admirably.  A  shower, 
a  profusion  of  pearls." 

"  Do  you  think  so  ?  Well, there  is  nothing  impos- 
sible about  that." 

"  You're  a  spendthrift.  You  know  very  well  I 
wouldn't  put  any  pearls  that  might  happen  to  come 
along  upon  my  head,  and  an  ornament  which  would 
suit  me  would  cost  too  much.  No,  no,  let  us  be  rea- 
sonable, and  for  the  present  think  of  nothing  but  the 
decoration  and  furnishing  of  these  rooms  ;  it  is  a  se- 
rious matter.  And  then,  taking  everything  into  con- 
sideration, wouldn't  it  be  infinitely  wiser  to  have  a 
horse  and  carriage  ?  In  so  retired  a  situation  as 
this,  it  would  be  a  safeguard :  we  may  want  a  doctor 
suddenly  ;  what  could  we  do  ?  Lose  two  whole 
hours  in  looking  for  a  hack  while  one  might  die 
twenty  times  over  }  The  mere  thought  makes  me 
shudder.  My  mother  is  not  so  well  as  one  might 
suppose.     Her  health  must  not  be  trifled  with." 

What  I  particularly  admired  in  my  Esther  was 
her  power  of  imagination,  and  also  the  aristocratic 
ease  with  which  she  discovered  fresh  windows  to 
throw  money  out  of.  Reduced  to  my  own  resources 
I  was  crushed  under  the  burden  of  my  wealth  with- 
out being  able  to  find  any  means  of  lessening  its 
weight.  "  But  you  always  have  a  calash  at  your  or- 
ders," said  I. 

"  Of  course,  we  hire  it,  and  it's  horribly  dear. 
And  you — you  must  spend  an  immense  amount  in 
cabs." 

"  I.     No,  I  never  take  a  carriage." 

"  Indeed  !  But  this  is  not  all :  we  must  consider 
that  a  coachman  will  be  like  a  second  footman,  and 
one  male  servant  is  quite  insufficient  for  this  house- 
hold. If  you  want  to  kill  Joseph,  you  need  only 
compel  him  to  continue  the  work  he  is  doing.     But 


96  BABOLAIN. 

I'm  talking  foolishly.  The  master  of  the  house  must 
decide  these  important  questions." 

While  talking  thus,  she  had  continued  to  arrange 
her  hair.  "  Well,  I  declare,  this  does  hold  very  firm- 
ly. How  do  you  like  me  with  it  dressed  so  ?  It  is 
becoming,  isn't  it  ?  " 

"  You  are  charming,"  said  I  enthusiastically. 

She  came  up  to  me  and  taking  my  head  between 
her  hands,  as  one  would  a  child's,  exclaimed  : 

"  Don't  be  silly  enough  to  buy  me  pearls,  at  any 
rate.  You  know  nothing  about  them,  not  even  where 
to  find  them,  while  I  am  familiar  with  all  the  good 
places.     Well,  come,  won't  you  kiss  me  ?  " 

What  would  I  not  have  done  to  deserve  such  hap- 
piness ?  Yes,  yes,  she  should  have  a  carriage,  ser- 
vants of  her  own,  and  I  would  see  her  pass  in  her 
brilliant  equipage.  She  must  be  queen  by  luxury,  as 
she  was  by  genius  and  beauty.  She  should  have 
pearls,  diamonds,  ornaments  ;  her  room  hung  with 
satin  should  be  a  temple  worthy  of  her.  How  could 
I  have  compelled  these  two  women  to  ride  in  a  hack 
until  now ! 

Soon  the  Venetian  temperament  of  which  Esther 
had  spoken  recurred  to  my  mind,  and  I  perceived 
that  I  actually  had  no  idea  as  to  the  meaning  of  the 
words.  Yet  I  could  not  remain  in  ignorance  of  ques- 
tions so  indispensable  to  our  mental  unity,  to  the 
community  of  ideas  and  emotions  which  was  to 
unite  us.  What  did  people  mean  by  color  and  de- 
sign .''  The  holidays  gave  me  plenty  of  leisure,  and  I 
resolved  to  study  the  subject.  I  purchased  Dr. 
Briicke's  book,  procured  La  Chromatique,  et  la  Chro- 
matographie,hy  George  Fied,  and  Newton's  Optics, 
and  was  soon  completely  absorbed  in  my  task.  It 
was  a  positive  delight.  To  satisfy  at  the  same  time 
my  longing  for  work,  which  had  always  been  the  piv- 
ot of  my  life,  and  prove  my  affection  for  her  by  a  study 
which  brought  me  nearer  to  her ! 


BABOLAIN.  97 

Unfortunately,  in  the  huge  apartment  filled  with 
workmen  and  packages,  it  was  impossible  to  find 
even  a  single  little  corner  where  I  could  work  at  my 
ease.  After  having  broken  several  plates  in  the  din- 
ing-room before  regaining  possession  of  my  books 
and  papers,  and  been  driven  successively  from  one 
room  into  another  where  the  uproar  still  pursued  me, 
I  resolved  to  take  possession  of  a  large  trunk  in  a 
small  store-room  opening  from  the  ante-chamber,  and 
intended  to  be  used  as  a  fruit-room.  It  was  at  this 
door  that  my  good  Timoleon,  who  had  quickly  be- 
come the  famihar  friend  of  the  household,  knocked 
every  day. 

"  Good-morning,  little  old  man,"  said  he;"  are  the 
ladies  at  home  ?  You're  at  work ;  don't  disturb  your- 
self." 

And  when  the  ladies  saw  him  enter  they  always 
cried  with  a  merry  laugh :  "  Ah  !  here  he  is,  he  has 
come  just  in  time  !  "  He  really  had  the  art  of  making 
himself  useful — indispensable ;  he  drove  nails,  told 
stories  with  wonderful  spirit,  moved  the  furniture,  or, 
climbing  a  step-ladder,  wrote  on  the  wall  with  a  piece 
of  chalk,  signs  dictated  by  Esther. 

"  Make  a  straight  line,"  said  she.  "  Very  well. 
Now  write  in  the  middle  of  the  left  hand  panel — red 
brown  with  a  dash — dear  me,  how  slowly  you  write  !  " 

"  It's  because  the  ladder  shakes,  Marquise."  He 
was-so  full  of  gayety  that  his  jests  never  wounded 
the  feelings — "  A  dash  of  what  ?  " 

"  Of  cobalt.  That's  right.  Trace  another  line 
about  fifty  centimetres  from  the  first,  and  between 
the  two  write  carved  wood.  Very  well.  Now  in  the 
right  hand  panel  put — cloth  of  gold  with  black  and  red 
branches.     Come  down  quick,  and  see  the  effect." 

"  To  tell  you  the  truth,  my  dear  Marquise,  I  don't 
perceive  that  there  has  been  any  very  material  change 
in  the  appearance  of  the  wall  within  the  last  five  min- 
utes." 


98  BABOLAIN. 

"  You're  a  Bourgeois,  you  have  no  faith.  Come 
into  the  studio  and  help  us  arrange  the  pictures." 

Timoleon  played  such  amusing  pranks  and  told 
so  many  interesting  anecdotes,  that  the  ladies  forgot 
to  go  out,  and  we  soon  heard  the  clock  in  the  Car- 
melite church  strike  seven. 

"  Do  you  think  there  would  be  any  harm  in  my 
asking  you  for  some  dinner  ?  "  murmured  our  friend 
with  an  affectation  of  diffidence. 

"  What  a  joke,  my  dear  Monsieur  Timoleon  ! 
What  have  we  for  dinner,  my  daughter  ?  " 

"  Oh  !  dear  me.  Why  I  forgot  to  order  any ; 
didn't  you  think  of  it,  mamma  ?  " 

"  Certainly  not,  my  darling ;  I  sent  the  cook  to 
the  upholsterer's." 

"  And  Joseph  is  at  the  dentist's  having  a  tooth 
out." 

"  A  tooth  !  The  whole  thirty  four  must  have 
gone  ;  he  has  been  away  ever  since  noon.  We  are 
in  a  pretty  plight."  They  were  shouting  with  laugh- 
ter. 

"This  is  delightful,  ladies,"  cried  Timol6on;"I 
don't  know  of  a  more  artistic  situation.  Have  you 
some  butter,  eggs,  a  little  saffron,  and  some  fresh 
fish  ?     I  excel  in  making  bouille-d,-baisse" 

"  Come,  let  us  be  serious,"  said  my  mother-in- 
law,  turning  to  me.  "  Run  to  the  nearest  restaurant, 
my  friend,  and  meantime  we  will  set  the  table." 

"  That's  it,  bravo  !  "  Esther  clapped  her  hands, 
turned  up  her  little  cuffs,  and  bounded  over  the  piles 
of  packages,  followed  by  her  mother,  dignified  and 
smiling  as  ever,  who  murmured  : 

"  That  charming  Timol6on,  what  a  flow  of  spirits  ! 
How  lively  he  is  !  " 

When  I  had  discovered  my  boots,  found  my  hat, 
and  hunted  up  my  cravat,  I  took  myself  off  and  re- 
turned half  an  hour  after  escorted  by  a  waiter  carry- 
ing an  immense  basket,  while  I  had  two  bottles  under 


BABOLAIN. 


99 


my  arms  and  a  corkscrew  in  my  watch  pocket.  They 
hastily  opened  the  basket  and  out  came  everything 
the  proprietor  of  the  restaurant  had  chosen  to  put  in. 
The  strangest  of  dinners  was  the  consequence :  no 
soup,  but  a  lobster,  prawns,  a  monumental  pie,  three 
rolls,  and  not  a  drop  of  water.  Timol^on  was  bril- 
liant, the  ladies  were  almost  exhausted  with  laughing, 
and  everybody  pulled  at  the  piece  of  canvas  which, 
for  want  of  napkins,  they  had  spread  over  their  laps. 

I  know  not  why,  but  1  felt  chilled  by  this  wild 
mirth,  lost  all  appetite,  and  found  it  impossible  to 
smile.  It  was  not  merely  restraint  and  embarrass- 
ment that  overpowered  me,  but  actual  sadness. 

It  was  very  natural  they  should  make  a  little  sport 
of  my  piteous  face,  and  I  was  not  at  all  surprised  ; 
but  they  increased  my  embarrassment  without  making 
me  ajiy  the  more  lively.  When  the  meal  was  over, 
Esther  seated  herself  at  the  piano,  and  Timol6on 
taking  me  aside,  said  : 

"  Now  listen  to  me,  my  dear  fellow,  I  can  assure 
you  that  you  are  making  yourself  perfectly  ridicu- 
lous with  your  contrite  airs.  I  tell  you  so  because  we 
are  old  friends.  You  are  hurting  these  ladies'  feel- 
ings terribly." 

"  Do  you  really  think  so  ?     I  had  no  intention — " 

"  I'm  sure  of  it.  It's  your  own  affair,  you  know ; 
but  pay  attention  to  it,  little  old  man." 

"  I  am  in  despair,  Timol6on.  Try  to  set  the  af- 
fair to  rights,  my  friend.  You  know  how  to  explain 
everything.  Tell  them  I  can't  help  it,  that  I  had  the 
headache,  that  I  am  ill,  tell  them  anything,  but  above 
all, that  they  must  not  feel  hurt." 

As  days  and  weeks  elapsed,  I  experienced  at  rare 
intervals  a  certain  sensation  of  anxiety.  I  was  more 
in  love  with  my  wife  than  ever  ;  but  the  feverish  ex- 
citement of  the  first  few  moments  was  beginning  to 
decrease ;  the  bewilderment  caused  by  the  sudden 
transformation  in  my  whole  hfe  was  somewhat  calmed ; 


1 OO  BABOLAIN. 

I  was  beginning  to  feel  the  earth  under  my  feet,  and 
at  the  same  time  the  tastes  and  habits  of  former 
days  sometimes  plucked  me  by  the  sleeve.  Occa- 
sionally, amid  the  disorder  which  was  continually 
changing  its  form  without  diminishing,  I  remembered 
my  little  bachelor's  room,  small  and  bare,  it  is  true, 
but  so  well  arranged  ;  my  table,  my  books,  my  pa- 
pers were  all  close  at  hand.  Ah  !  I  would  have 
given  much  to  live  pleasantly  and  quietly,  without 
any  parade,  in  a  suite  of  modest  little  rooms  where 
intimacy  is  easy  and  one  feels  at  home.  It  seemed 
to  me  that  amid  such  surroundings  I  would  have  had 
more  of  my  wife's  society.  When  I  was  walking 
along  the  street,  and  saw  on  the  third  stories  of 
houses  windows  with  very  white  curtains,  adorned 
with  gilliflowers,  I  could  not  turn  my  eyes  away  from 
them.  How  much  at  their  ease  the  people  up  there 
must  be  ! 

There  are  souls  of  different  powers  of  flight : 
some  delight  in  great  enterprises,  vast  designs ;  they 
need  room  to  unfold  their  wings,  and  the  endless 
fields  of  fiction  and  the  ideal  soon  become  a  neces- 
sary space  to  them.  The  impossibility  of  the  vision 
attracts  them  ;  they  look  it  in  the  face  without  trem- 
bling or  shuddering,  like  eagles  which  gaze  at  the 
sun.  These  are  privileged  beings,  and  doubtless 
necessary  to  the  moral  equilibrium  of  the  world. 
But  side  by  side  with  these  birds  of  lofty  flight  how 
many  sparrows  there  are  which  never  go  above  the 
roofs,  and  are  obliged  to  live  happily  on  crumbs 
left  forgotten  here  and  there.  I  was  born  a  sparrow, 
made  to  flutter  two  feet  above  the  ground  in  unfre- 
quented lanes  bordered  with  hedges. 

My  pride  was  no  longer  wounded  by  it,  though  I 
might  have  sometimes  dreamed  of  the  heights  of 
heaven.  But  I  was  troubled  that  so  great  an  obsta- 
cle should  separate  me  from  Esther.  Yet  should  I 
have  loved  her  so  much  if  nature  had  made  her  less 
different  from  me  ? 


BABOLAIN.  lOI 

I  examined  this  question  under  all  its  aspects. 
What  I  could  not  deny  was  the  ever-increasing  re- 
straint that  I  was  compelled  to  impose  upon  myself 
in  order  to  share  the  life  and  pleasures  of  the  ladies. 
The  interminable  adornment  of  the  suite  of  apart- 
ments, the  everlasting  presence  of  workmen,  the  in- 
cessantly modified  plans  and  projects  tortured  me. 
It  was  useless  for  me  to  try,  I  could  no  longer  con- 
ceal it  from  myself. 

The  carriage  and  horse  had  been  purchased-a 
magnificent  animal,  whose  impatient  prancing  made 
me  shudder;  and  an  irreproachable  coachman,  who 
intimidated  me  quite  as  much,  had  increased  the  es- 
tablishment of  servants.  He  was  a  reserved,  grave, 
but  very  handsome  man,  dressed  with  studied  ele- 
gance, and  was  gifted  with  a  wonderfully  aristocratic 
air.  When  in  the  presence  of  this  person  I  felt  the 
necessity  of  maintaining  my  position,  and  even  forced 
myself  to  address  him  authoritatively,  as  my  wife  and 
mother-in-law  did.  I  had  noticed  their  distant  man- 
ner and  thoroughly  aristocratic  mode  of  uttering  the 
sentence  :  "  Louis,  you  can  bring  out  the  carriage 
for  a  two  hours'  drive,"  the  gesture  which  emphasized 
the  order,  and  their  way  of  turning  the  head  as  we  do 
when  we  call  some  one  very  far  below  us.  I  had  ana- 
lyzed all  this,  but  when  the  moment  for  imitating  my 
model  came,  I  felt  an  unconquerable  shame  ;  it  seemed 
as  if  I  was  going  to  commit  an  infamous  action. 
Why  humiliate  this  man  who,  physically  at  least,  was 
greatly  my  superior  ?  Might  he  not  have  believed 
that  I  was  jealous  of  him  ?  Then  I  used  a  thousand 
little  circumlocutions. 

"  Could  you  be  ready  at  such  an  hour  ?  "  I  said. 

I  avoided  calling  him  by  his  name,  which  seemed 
arrogant  in  my  position.  "  You  will  do  the  ladies  a 
favor  by  being  punctual.  Farewell."  And  I  went 
away  with  a  smile.  While  I  spoke  to  him  in  this  way 
his  silence,  his  imperturbable  seriousness  dismayed 


I02  BABOLAIN. 

me.  What  sorrows,  what  moral  tortures  might  be  in 
the  heart  of  this  man,  who  was  certainly  not  in  his 
proper  station. 

It  was  impossible  for  me  to  pass  him  like  a  mile- 
stone without  speaking  to  him  ;  and  whether  he  was 
washing  the  wheels  of  the  carriage  in  the  courtyard, 
harnessing  the  horse,  or  mounting  his  box,  I  cried  : 
"Ah!  you  are  washing  the  wheels,"  or  else:  "You 
will  find  it  very  warm  to-day." 

This  was  not  proper.  Mme.  Paline,  whom  noth- 
ing escaped,  gave  me  to  understand  it  clearly ;  but 
how  was  I  to  do  otherwise  ? 

It  was  the  same  with  my  other  two  servants.  At 
times  I  would  actually  have  liked  to  take  their  places 
to  avoid  the  sight  of  their  servility,  which  I  be- 
grudged myself.  If  either  rose  at  my  approach,  I 
said  in  a  low  tone  :  "  Pray  sit  still,  is  it  worth  while  to 
trouble  yourself.'' " 

I  analyzed  this  impression  and  ascertained  that 
it  contained  a  great  deal  of  pride :  the  respect  of 
these  worthy  people  seemed  like  a  species  of  sarcasm  ; 
their  purchased  deference  contrasted  too  violently 
with  the  numberless  jests  whose  object  I  had  been  all 
my  life.  I  was  conscious  of  being  still  more  ridicu- 
lous beneath  the  plume  with  which  they  adorned  my 
head.  How  many  times  I  have  waited  until  the 
coachman  or  footman  had  left  the  courtyard  or  the 
ante-chamber,  in  order  to  go  out  without  fear  of  being 
saluted  by  them  ! 

Yet  I  should  have  been  indignant  if  they  had  not 
showed  the  ladies  the  deference  and  attention  1  did 
not  want  for  myself.  When  I  heard  the  roll  of  the 
carriage  as  it  entered  the  courtyard,  and  saw  my  wife 
and  her  mother  in  their  rich  dresses  leaning  back 
among  the  cushions,  1  trembled  with  pleasure.  I 
raised  the  curtain  and  pressed  my  eyes  against  the 
window  pane,  watching  the  slightest  shades  of  varia- 
tion in  their  haughty  grace  of  bearing.    I  did  not  say 


BABOLAIN.  103 

to  myself:  "They  owe  evefything  to  me."  I  have 
never  had  such  base  feelings  in  my  heart.  I  was  very 
far  from  reckoning  upon  their  gratitude,  since  I  was 
well  repaid  by  the  pleasure  the  sight  of  them  afford- 
ed ;  but  I  was  proud  of  them  and  would  have  liked 
to  have  them  received  with  public  enthusiasm  on  con- 
dition of  remaining  an  unknown  spectator  behind  my 
curtains,  dressed  in  the  frayed  coat  in  which  I  was  so 
comfortable. 

Under  a  thousand  pretexts  I  took  refuge  in  my 
little  corner,  for  there  only  1  felt  really  at  home.  In 
vain  my  poor  Esther  had  given  me  a  dressing-gown 
of  gray  damask  with  greenish  branches  and  sleeves 
d,  la  Veronese,  then  very  fashionable  in  the  world  of 
art.  In  vain  did  she  bestow  upon  me  Indian  slippers 
ending  in  slender  points  ;  I  always  avoided  putting  on 
this  costume, which  weighed  upon  my  shoulders  like 
a  leaden  shirt.  I  decked  myself  out  in  it  two  or  three 
times  for  breakfast,  but  I  was  always  so  constrained 
and  ridiculous  in  these  magnificent  ornaments  that  it 
was  impossible  to  make  me  put  them  on  again. 


The  vacation  of  several  months  which  had  kindly 
been  given  me  on  the  occasion  of  my  marriage  was 
at  last  drawing  rapidly  to  a  close.  I  say  at  last,  for 
in  spite  of  my  love  for  my  wife  and  my  respectful  af- 
fection for  my  mother-in-law,  it  must  be  confessed 
that  I  was  looking  forward  with  great  impatience  to 
the  time  of  resuming  my  course  of  lectures.  More 
and  more  incapable  of  sharing  the  life  of  the 
ladies,  and  ignorant  of  all  the  usual  occupations  of 
wealthy  people,  I  was  suffering  keenly  from  my  en- 
forced idleness,  which  compelled  me  to  lead  a  most 
pitiable  existence.  "  My  mind,"  I  said  to  myself, 
"  needs  the  healthful  and  substantial  food  of  science, 


I04  BABOLAIN. 

exact  analysis,  inflexible  reasoning.  Thus  alone  can 
I  arrive  at  the  intuition  of  the  arts ;  I  must  know 
how  to  proceed,  to  go  from  the  known  to  the  un- 
known. If  I  am  foolish  enough  to  throw  myself  with 
bent  head,  without  compass  or  guide,  into  the  chaos 
of  sentimental  impressionability,  I  may  compromise 
everything." 

But  how  happy  and  light-hearted  I  felt  when  I 
found  myself  once  more  in  my  large  black  gown,  and 
had  drawn  from  the  little  green  box  where  it  was  repos- 
ing my  professional  cap,  magnificent  though  some- 
what worn.  It  seemed  as  if  from  the  depths  of  the  little 
box  I  had  regained  my  self-control.  My  colleagues 
congratulated  and  shook  hands  with  me,  and  these 
trifles  deUghted  me.  The  class-room  looked  cheer- 
ful, pleasant  to  the  eye — the  good,  hospitable,  sono- 
rous class-room,  with  its  walls  decorated  with  a  beau- 
tiful, solid,  yellow  tints ;  its  freshly  white-washed 
ceiling  destitute  of  gilt  stars.  I  felt  at  ease, — at 
home  ;  my  eyes  wandered  approvingly  over  the  ink- 
stained  benches,  the  grated  windows,  the  grayish 
floor.  Even  so  the  warrior,  returning  from  a  distant 
and  glorious  expedition,  pauses  with  deep  emotion 
before  the  walnut  trees  and  thatched  roofs  of  his  na- 
tive village,  which  have  been  witnesses  of  his  past 
life.  It  even  seems  to  him  that  only  when  confronting 
these  cottages  and  this  steeple,  do  his  military  suc- 
cesses assume  a  shade  of  heroism. 

In  like  manner,  while  I  was  lecturing  with  the 
boldness  of  a  man  who  will  neither  be  interrupted 
nor  opposed,  my  position  as  a  husband  and  master 
of  a  house  became  dazzling,  radiant. 

With  my  regular  daily  employment,  order  and 
calmness  were  restored  to  my  life.  Labor,  by  re- 
awakening my  energy  as  a  professor,  turned  my 
thoughts  from  the  thousand  cares  which  had  obtained 
too  great  an  influence  over  me. 

1  loved  my  family  none  the  less,  but  my  individu- 


B ABO  LAIN.  105 

ality  asserted  itself  a  little  more.  Often  when  the 
ladies'  conversation  rose  to  those  realms  of  art  which 
I  had  never  been  able  to  enter,  far  from  persisting 
in  following  them,  I  quietly  glided  away  in  thought 
and  reflected  upon  the  lesson  for  the  next  day,  or 
some  new  demonstration ;  or  else  suffered  myself  to 
float  quietly  back  at  the  will  of  my  memory  towards 
the  years  spent  at  school,  which  were  by  no  means 
so  dark  as  I  had  supposed. 

"  When  I  have  the  honor  of  speaking  to  you,  son- 
in-law,  it  would  be  civil  in  you  to  do  me  the  favor  of 
answering,"  said  Mme.  Paline  suddenly. 

"  I  beg  a  thousand  pardons.  Yes,  of  course,  you 
are  right.     I  was  thinking—" 

"  Oh !  I  thought  you  were  asleep.  You  must 
take  some  bitters  ;  your  blood  is  getting  thick." 

In  spite  of  these  warnings  I  took  refuge  more 
and  more  in  a  world  of  my  own  ;  and  while  with  the 
ladies,  led  a  life  entirely  apart  from  them.  From 
time  to  time,  when  conscious  of  my  absence  of  mind, 
I  actually  felt  remorseful.  Then  I  entered  into  the 
life  of  the  family  again  as  if  by  a  rebound,  burst  out 
with  all  sorts  of  questions  about  furniture,  servants, 
dresses ;  found  the  most  astounding  adjectives  to  ap- 
ply to  everything  that  surrounded  me,  and  in  my 
eagerness  to  pay  my  debt  of  admiration  almost 
always  overshot  the  mark  and  wounded  the  ladies 
deeply. 

I  believe  that  at  this  time  I  was  positively  unbear- 
able. Yet  I  loved  them  with  all  my  heart ;  but  one  can- 
not wholly  change  his  nature.  Ah  !  if  they  had  been 
able  to  understand  with  what  delight  I  gave  up  the 
management  of  the  household  to  them  ;  with  what 
joy,  from  the  depths  of  my  shell,  I  gazed  at  their 
luxury  !  There  was  no  portion  of  the  establishment 
whose  fashionable  appearance  I  did  not  observe  with 
pleasure,  even  to  the  servants,  since  I  no  longer 
considered    them  mine.     But   they   could  not   read 


I06  BABOLAIN. 

my  feelings.  Yet  I  was  sincerely  touched,  cordially 
grateful  to  them  for  their  kindness  when  they  ush- 
ered me  into  the  beautiful  study  which  had  been 
prepared  for  me,  showed  me  the  table  covered  with 
green  velvet  where  I  was  to  work ;  the  immense  arm- 
chair, carved  like  the  rose  window  in  a  cathedral 
where  I  was  to  sit ;  the  lion  skin  on  which  my  feet 
were  to  rest ;  the  Byzantine  lamp  suspended  from  the 
ceiling;  the  Turkish  sabres  and  Circassian  pistols 
that  adorned  the  walls.  Is  ingratitude,  selfishness,  a 
natural  vice  ?  I  do  not  know  ;  but  that  very  day  I 
settled  myself  permanently  in  the  fruit-room,  arranged 
my  books  and  papers  orwthe  shelves,  placed  in  one 
corner  a  little  table  and  a  straw  chair,  double-locked 
the  door  of  this  sanctuary,  and  put  the  key  in  my 
pocket. 

After  having  taken  this  great  step  I  felt  the  joy 
of  the  freeman  who  has  asserted  his  independence 
once  for  all.  And  yet  I  swear  that  I  worshipped 
my  wife. 

About  this  time  the  great  drawing-room  was  put 
in  tolerable  order;  the  walls  upon  which  Esther  was 
going  to  execute  some  paintings  remained  bare,  it  is 
true,  but  the  gothic  arm-chairs,  the  ottomans,  the  Ori- 
ental carpets,  the  tables  and  chandeliers  were  placed 
in  regular  order,  and  the  ladies  began  to  receive. 
Contrary  to  my  expectations,  there  was  an  immense 
crowd  at  once,  and  on  the  very  first  day  I  had  to  greet  a 
Polish  lady  who  was  an  inimitable  violinist,  an  Italian 
count,  two  Wallachian  artists,  and  a  Prussian  major 
who  sketched  landscapes  and  played  on  the  bassoon. 
These  entertainments  really  promised  to  become 
very  brilliant. 

"  How  do  you  happen  to  know  all  these  people, 
my  darling  ?  "  I  said  to  my  wife;  "you  have  not  trav- 
elled a  great  deal." 

"  It  seems,  my  dear,  that  the  little  fame  I  have  is 
enough  to  attract  all  Paris ;  I  cannot  help  it.     It  is 


B ABO  LAIN.  107 

the  way  of  our  artist  world.  People  know  already 
that  I  intend  to  execute  some  decorative  painting, 
and  many  inquisitive  persons  undoubtedly  come  on 
that  account.  I  have  even  been  obliged  to  show 
them  my  sketches.  In  teaching,  you  have  none  of 
these  annoyances,  you  are  not  conspicuous  like  us. 
Well,  they  are  the  inconveniences  of  the  profession." 

"  Do  you  know  that  when  you  are  in  your  draw- 
ing-room you  seem  like  a  queen  surrounded  by  her 
court !  If  I  were  jealous !  ha  !  ha  1  ha  1  you  are 
handsome  enough  to — you  know  very  well  I  am  only 
joking.  But  I  really  was  not  aware  that  your  genius 
was  so  famous." 

"  See  what  comes  of  not  reading  the  papers. 
Monsieur  le  savant :  the  Ferme-Modele  has  devoted  a 
long  article  to  me,  which  is  by  no  means  badly  ex- 
pressed." 

"  And  you  have  told  me  nothing  about  it !  Then 
success  and  fame  at  last  crown  your  efforts.  Ah  1  how 
happy  I  am,  my  dear  Esther.  Artists  need  glory,  re- 
nown, triumph.     I  understand  that  fully." 

These  receptions  thenceforth  appeared  to  me  un- 
der a  new  aspect ;  they  were  proofs  of  my  wife's 
genius,  and  although  I  was  forced  to  conquer  a 
thousand  feelings  of  repugnance,  I  considered  it  a 
duty  to  put  a  good  face  upon  the  matter.  I  tried  to 
be  as  unobtrusive  as  possible,  for  I  knew  perfect- 
ly well  that  these  artists  did  not  come  to  see  me, 
but  had  merely  been  attracted  by  my  wife's  talent ; 
it  was  therefore  her  place  to  do  the  honors  of  her 
house  ;  my  part  was  an  entirely  secondary  one,  and  I 
rejoiced  over  it  in  my  heart.  Yet  I  neglected  no  ex- 
ertion to  aid  Esther  in  the  discharge  of  her  delicate 
duties,  sought  to  find  a  civil  word  for  every  one,  and 
hidden  in  the  window  corners,  talked  enthusiastically 
about  the  only  subjects  which  could  interest  them,  my 
wife's  genius  and  decorative  painting.  It  was  no 
slight  labor.  Although  I  set  to  work  with  great  energy 


I08  B  ABO  LAIN. 

to  fulfil  my  task,  it  was  evident  that  it  was  a  heavy 
one,  for  Esther,passing  near  me  one  evening,  said : 

"Your  cravat  is  untied.  But  tell  me;  I  am 
ashamed,  my  poor  friend,  to  make  you  sit  up  so  late; 
you  rise  very  early ;  at  least  don't  feel  obliged  to 
drain  the  cup  to  the  last  drop ;  if  you  slip  out  quietly 
no  one  will  notice  you." 

"  Nothing  escapes  your  attention,  my  angel.  I 
talk  continually  to  keep  myself  awake,  but  I  am  ac- 
tually dying  to  go  to  sleep." 

"Don't  put  yourself  to  the  slightest  inconvenience, 
I  beg  of  you." 

What !  even  in  the  midst  of  this  entertainment 
where  every  one  was  doing  homage  to  her,  she 
thought  of  me.  "  What  a  kind  heart !  "  I  said  to  my- 
self as  I  beat  a  skilful  retreat. 

The  license  granted  by  my  wife  gave  me  all  the 
more  pleasure,  because  I  was  unaccustomed  to  sit  up 
late,  and  twice  already,  on  the  mornings  after  these 
entertainments,  had  not  risen  in  time,  and  reached 
the  college  five  minutes  late,  which  deeply  humiliated 
me.  I  had  a  religious  respect  for  punctuality.  I  re- 
membered an  alarm  clock  I  had  purchased  in  the 
country  at  the  beginning  of  my  career,  and  to  avoid 
another  accident,  resolved  to  make  use  of  it  as  I  did 
then.  So  I  set  the  little  article  very  carefully,  put  it 
behind  the  curtain,  and  kept  myself  awake  to  warn 
Esther,  who  would  certainly  understand  the  necessity 
which  compelled  me  to  adopt  this  course. 

But  the  devil  ordained  that  at  the  moment  she  came 
in  I  should  be  sound  asleep.  The  next  morning, 
precisely  at  half-past  si,\,  I  was  suddenly  roused  by  a 
terrible  uproar  with  which  I  was  no  longer  familiar; 
and  while  my  conciousness  of  the  truth  was  slowly 
coming  to  me,  my  wife,  rudely  wakened,  screamed  : 

"  What  is  the  matter  ?  Oh!  dear,  what  is  the  mat- 
ter ? " 

"  Calm  yourself,  my  darling,  it  is  nothing,"    I  said 


B ABO  LAIN.  IC9 

smiling  to  reassure  her  more  fully.  "  See,  Esther,  it's 
only  a  little  alarm  clock.  I  meant  to  tell  you  about 
it  last  night ;  but  I  fell  asleep.  I  am  very  sorry,  dar- 
ling, and  I  beg  your  pardon." 

These  conciliatory  words,  accompanied  by  the  noise 
of  the  accursed  machine,  far  from  soothing  her,  only 
excited  her  nerves  still  more.  "  Blockhead  !  "  she 
cried,  making  the  most  despairing  gestures,  while 
from  the  next  room,  which  was  occupied  by  Mme. 
Paline,  was  heard  the  confused  sound  of  a  voice 
screaming  in  tones  of  distress.  Soon  the  partition 
resounded  with  the  blows  dealt  upon  it,  and  all  the 
bells  in  the  house  began  to  ring. 

Trembling  for  the  result,  I  sprang  out  of  bed  and 
hastily  dressed  by  the  faint  light  of  dawn  which  was 
beginning  to  steal  into  the  room.  My  mother-in-law 
would  make  her  appearance  directly,  the  servants 
were  already  running  to  the  spot — I  heard  the  distant 
sound  of  doors. 

"  My  darling,  it  is  true,  I  confess,  I  have  been 
ridiculous.  I  ought  not  to  have  drawn  the  string  out 
to  its  full  length,  but  your  mother  is  very  wrong  to  be 
frightened." 

"  Don't  insult  my  mother.  Oh  !  how  wretched  I 
am." 

I  noiselessly  left  the  room,  holding  my  cravat  in 
my  hand,  and  found  myself  face  to  face  with  the 
chambermaid  and  cook,  who  came  up  rubbing  their 
eyes. 

"It  is  nothing,"  I  said  soothingly,  "nothing  at  all." 

I  had  committed  a  folly,  but  could  it  be  supposed 
that  a  mere  act  of  heedlessness  would  entail  such  bale- 
ful consequences. 

The  fresh  air  completely  restored  me.  While 
walking  on  at  random,  I  thought  to  myself:  "It  is 
evident  that  the  culture  of  the  arts  puts  the  brain 
into  a  peculiar  condition.  Cannot  an  over-powerful 
imagination  be   scientifically  considered  a  disease  ? 


no  BABOLAIN. 

A  sublime  malady,  of  course,  but  none  the  less  a  dis- 
ease, a  want  of  equilibrium  between  the  nervous  and 
muscular  systems.  I  ought  to  have  warned  her.  The 
slightest  unexpected  impression  agitates,  disturbs  her, 
and  it  is  this  excessive  impressionability  which  rend- 
ers her  so  charming  and  gives  her  her  genius.  How, 
in  this  world,  everything  logically  obtains  a  counter- 
poise !  If  I  had  not  had  a  temperament  and  tastes  en- 
tirely opposed  to  hers,  I  should  perhaps  have  been 
indifferent  to  the  delicate  sensibilities  of  this  excep- 
tional nature.  In  electricity,  opposite  poles  attract 
each  other,  similar  ones  repel.  Is  not  the  effort  we 
make  to  understand  each  other  the  firmest  bond  which 
could  unite  two  beings  .-'  What  is  tenderness  if  not 
a  succession  of  unsatisfied  feelings  of  curiosity  ? 
What  is  moral  communion,  except  the  incessant  fa- 
miliar interchange  of  dissimilar  ideas  and  impres- 
sions ?  The  eternal  law  of  the  universe  wills  that 
this  state  of  things  should  be.  Marriage  is  a  salt, 
and  in  every  salt  there  is  an  acid  and  a  basis.  Now 
would  it  not  be  very  wrong  for  one  of  these  elements 
to  complain  because  its  neighbor  has  not  the  same 
qualities  as  itself,  when  this  dissimilarity  is  the  cause 
of  their  union  ?  " 

"  My  poor  Esther !  it  is  very  provoking  that  I 
should  not  have  warned  her  !  " 

When,  about  eleven  o'clock,  I  re-entered  the  Rue 
Vaugirard,my  first  thought  was  to  inquire  for  the  la- 
dies ;  but  before  I  could  receive  a  reply,  bursts  of 
laughter  echoed  from  the  drawing-room,  and  I  recog- 
nized TimolC'on's  voice.  I  rubbed  my  hands  with  de- 
light. 

This  dear  friend  always  came  just  at  the  right 
moment ;  undoubtedly  his  irresistible  gayety  had  re- 
paired the  mischief  1  had  done.  I  entered  with  a 
smile  upon  my  lips,  but  the  ladies  rose  gravely. 
"  Come  to  your  work,  my  child  ;  let  us  withdraw," 
said  Mme.  Paline,  who,  as  she  passed  me,  hurled  at  me 


BABOLAIN.  1 1 1 

a  glance   whose   haughtiness   expressed   the   utmost 
contempt. 

"  Heaven  bless  you  and  your  striking  machines," 
said  Timol6on  when  he  was  alone  with  me. 

"  Ah  !  do  you  know  that  ?  It  is  true,  my  dear  fel-, 
low,  I  ought  to  have  warned  her,  but  I  fell  asleep." 

"  No,  you  see,  little  old  man,  there  is  an  order  of 
things  which  you  don't  understand.  You  are  all  of 
a  piece,  logical,  square,  straight  as  an  I.  To  you,  a 
man  of  bronze  with  joints  of  steel,  all  fastidiousness, 
all  physical  and  moral  shades  of  difference  are  ridicu- 
lous weaknesses.  You  know  but  one  meaning  in 
words,  one  form  in  ideas." 

"  Listen  to  me,  my  friend,  allow  me  to  tell  you — " 

"  I  don't  want  you  to  tell  me  ;  you  are  a  material- 
ist. The  vague  anxieties  of  the  soul,  its  confused  as- 
pirations, its  inexplicable  sensibilities,  all  that  consti- 
tutes the  nature  of  women,  especially  women  who  are 
artists,  is  a  closed  book  to  you.  Mme.  Paline,  whom 
you  will  some  day  blush  for  having  despised^^" 

"  I  not  appreciate  my  mother-in-law  !  Oh  !  Timo- 
l6on." 

"  I  understand.  Well,  Mme.  Paline  said  to  me  with 
tearful  eyes :  '  I  esteem  my  son-in-law,  but  I  fear 
him,  he  frightens  me. '  And  indeed,  with  your  way 
of  analyzing  every  emotion,  treating  the  soul  as  a 
subject  for  anatomy,  you  are  very  capable,  although 
a  very  good  fellow,  of  making  these  two  poor  women 
wretched." 

"What  are  you  saying?  You  are  joking,  of 
course.  They  made  wretched  by  me  !  Why,  what 
have  I  done  to  them  ?  " 

"  Can  one  enumerate  the  thousand  needle-pricks 
which  in  the  long  run  wound  as  deeply  as  a  blow  from 
a  dagger?  Besides,  I  know  very  well  you  are  not 
conscious  of  it,  little  old  man." 

"  You  do  not  know  me.  I  am  very  sensitive,  I  as- 
sure you." 


112  B  ABO  LAIN. 

"  Let  me  alone :  You  are  a  stoic — and  then,  you 
see,  where  there  is  no  religion  there  is  no  sensibility." 

"I  have  done  everything  in  my  power  to  gratify 
their  tastes  and  make  them  happy." 

"  There,  see  how  you  put  your  fortune  above  every- 
thing else.  We  know  of  course  that  you  are  rich, 
and  that  materially  you  do  things  very  well :  grand 
pianos,  cathedral  organs,  dignified  coachmen,  car- 
riages, upholstery,  furniture.  There  you  are  in  your 
element,  it  is  clear,  distinct,  can  be  weighed  and 
measured." 

"I  think  you  are  unjust,  Timol6on,  and  you  are 
causing  me  great  pain." 

"  Do  you  suppose  your  conduct  gives  me  none,  and 
that  if  I  did  not  love  you  with  all  my  heart  I  should 
have  the  courage  to  tell  you  my  opinions  so  frankly  ? 
Besides,  this  doesn't  prevent  my  defending  and  excus- 
ing you  to  the  ladies  ;  but  it  is  useless  for  me  to 
try :  is  it  possible  that  two  such  impressionable  crea- 
tures should  not  perceive  the  care  you  take  to  isolate 
yourself  from  them,  to  remain  indifferent  to  every- 
thing that  interests  and  occupies  them  ?  Do  you  sup- 
pose they  do  not  notice  the  air  of  disdain  with  which 
you  talk  about  one  thing  when  they  are  speaking  of 
another,  and  cut  short  every  question  relating  to  art . 
by  some  commonplace  remark.  Why  are  they  always 
alone  like  two  poor  widows  .''  Why  do  you  affect  to 
be  a  stranger  in  your  ovyn  house,  and  leave  the  whole 
burden  of  ordering  and  managing  everything  to  these 
ladies  "i  In  short,  why  do  you  prove  by  all  possible 
means  jhat  you  consider  them  inferior  beings,  which 
is  totally  false  t  When  I  think  that  you  have  not  even 
asked  to  see  the  rough  draughts  of  the  pictures  your 
wife  is  going  to  paint !  Come,  old  boy,  is  this  affec- 
tion ? " 

"  But  I  worship  my  wife,  I  swear  it;  I  love  her  with 
all  my  heart,  and  am  ready  to  make  every  sacrifice  for 
her." 


BABOLAIN.  1 1 3 

"  Sacrifices  again.     "Why  that's  all  admitted  ;   you 

fairly  crush  them  with  benefits are  you  satisfied  ? 

But  if  my  words  wound  you,  let  us  talk  of  something 
else  ;  I  have  told  you  all  this  with  the  sole  object  of 
doing  you  a  service,  and  because  my  convictions,  my 
ideas — my  religion,  let  us  say  the  word — forbid  me  to 
remain  indifferent  to  the  misfortunes  of  others.  Now, 
believe  me,  you  are  overlooking  happiness; you  have 
never  noticed  the  two  estimable  beings  who  live  with 
you,  or  rather  you  have  never  seen  them  except 
through  your  abominable  mathematical  instruments. 
Try  to  judge  them  with  your  heart." 

"  You  are  a  true  friend,  though  somewhat  severe  ; 
but  I  thank  you  none  the  less.  Give  me  your  hand, 
and  then  I  will  tell  you  the  whole  truth.  You  are  go- 
ing to  breakfast  with  us  ?  " 

"The  ladies  have  breakfasted,  at  least,  they  have 
eaten  as  much  as  their  agitation  allowed." 

"  Ah !  I  was  perfectly  insane  last  night,  I  con- 
fess." 

"  And  I  took  a  cup  of  coffee  to  keep,  them  com- 
pany. Besides,  I  am  late,  I  have  an  appointment — 
apropos  of  that ;  I  was  forgetting  that  I  have  a  favor 
to  ask  you.  But  after  the  conversation  we  have  just 
had,  will  you  do  me  a  favor  ? " 

"  Oh  !  pshaw,  my  dear  fellow,  I  can't  allow  that 
joke  to  pass.  What  right  have  you  to  doubt  my  af- 
fection ?  " 

"  None,  my  little  old  man;  so  I  shall  apply  to  you. 
In  two  words,  the  matter  is  just  this  :  I  am  in  press- 
ing need  of  two  thousand  francs  to-day." 

I  could  not  help  starting,  for  the  idea  suddenly  en- 
tered my  mind  that  perhaps  I  did  not  have  that 
amount. 

4*  If  you  can't  lend  me  the  trifle,  don't  inconveni- 
ence yourself,  I  will  go  to  that  clever  Vilser." 

"  Not  at  all ;  why,  see  how  angry  you  are  getting." 

"  Well,  you  look  as  if  you  were  trying  to  find  an 
8 


114  BABOLAIN. 

excuse.  I'm  speaking  to  you  frankly,  with  my  heart 
in  my  hand.  No,  I  prefer  to  go  to  Vilser,  devil  take 
it.     You  treat  me  as  if  I  were  importunate." 

" Indeed  !  " 

"  You're  not  conscious  of  your  rudeness.  I  don't 
bear  you  any  grudge  for  it,  because  I  know  your  ways ; 
but  how  do  you  suppose  those  two  poor  women,  who 
have  thinner  skins,  can  help  being  utterly  crushed  ?  " 

I  turned  towards  a  small  ecritoire,  and  rummaged 
the  drawers. 

"  Ah  1  fortunately  I  have  almost  as  much  as  you 
want.     Here  are  seventeen  hundred  francs." 

"I  should  have  preferred  two  thousand,  but  give 
them  to  me,  eight,  nine,  ten,  five  and  two  make  seven, 
it  is  all  right." 

"  It  is  impossible  for  me  to  lend  you  more,  this  is 
all  that  is  left  of  my  sixty  thousand  francs." 

I  pretended  to  be  perfectly  calm,  but  I  was 
strangely  agitated.  It  was  the  first  time  in  my  life 
that  any  question  of  money  had  disturbed  me  so. 

"  But  you  are  unreasonable,"  said  Timol6on  with 
great  gentleness  ; "  I  know  very  well  that  to  set  up 
housekeeping  in  this  style  requires  a  considerable  out- 
lay.    It's  only  a  little  breach  which — " 

"It  is  not  the  only  one,  I  remember  now." 

"With  a  little  economy  you  will  make  it  good. 
Your  mother-in-law  seems  to  be  such  a  skilful  house- 
keeper." 

"  Yes,  certainly.  The  ladies  have  been  obliged  to 
make  a  number  of  little  expenditures — indispensable 
ones — so  they  have  drawn  upon  the  treasury  without 
much  calculation." 

"  Then  they  have  the  key  of  the  cash-box  ?  " 

"  Of  course.  Uo  you  suppose  I  dole  out  money  to 
them  by  the  crown  piece.''  I  put  a  certain  sum  into 
this  drawer  and  look  at  it  occasionally ;  or  else  the 
ladies  tell  me,  and  I  replace  the  money  when  it  is 
necessary.     The  plan  has  always  succeeded  very  well. 


BABOLAIN.  1 1 5 

If  I  had  pursued  any  other  course  I  should  have  hurt 
their  feelings — and  been  ashamed  of  myself.  Have 
we  not  the  same  interests!  I  will  go  to  the  notary's 
for  more  funds  some  time  in  the  course  of  the  day, 
that's  all." 

"  I'm  sorry  for  it;  but  you  see,  I  have  this  note  due. 
You  are  not  in  love,  old  philosopher  t  " 

"  Not  in  love  !  I'm  passionately  in  love  with  my 
wife,  you  know  very  well." 

"  You're  wisely,  reasonably  in  love ;  you  never  com- 
mit any  follies.  I  allow  myself  one.  It  must  be  con- 
fessed that  this  time  the  princess  is  worth  the  trouble. 
Dear  little  angel !  I  have  never  seen  any  harm  in  it 
in  my  life ;  oh !  well,  I  wouldn't  have  believed  a  poor 
uneducated  child  could  have  so  much  frankness  and 
purity,  such  noble  aspirations.  No,  indeed,  I  have 
never  had  my  soul  more  expanded.  Now  we  are  on 
the  subject,  tell  me  exactly  what  I  owe  you  in  all,  lit- 
tle old  man.  I  want  to  settle  it,  I  hate  to  have  debts 
of  long  standing." 

"  Oh  1  there  is  no  hurry  about  it,"  said  I  consult- 
ing a  little  note-book  I  kept  in  a  special  drawer  under 
lock  and  key.  "  You  owe  me  in  all  twelve  thousand 
two  hundred  francs." 

"  You're  very  exact.  Oh  !  you're  right ;  I  admire 
you.  How  it  does  roll  up,  it  is  surprising!  Twelve 
thousand  two  hundred.  I  will  settle  it  at  once,  my 
dear  fellow." 

"  Whenever  you  choose;  but  let  us  say  no  more 
about  it." 

"  No  joking.  I  shall  attend  to  it  without  fail. 
Well,  good-bye,  little  old  man." 

"  Sixty  thousand  francs,"  I  murmured  while  break- 
fasting. "  Why, it  is  confusion,  it  is  ruin — where  can 
the  money  go  ?"  I  saw  a  gulf  yawning  at  my  feet.  I 
had  often  been  troubled  by  vague  anxieties,  but  had 
always  deferred  until  the  morrow  the  care  of  analyz- 
ing this  uneasiness, which  seemed  to  me  a  token  of  a 


Il6  BABOLAIN. 

narrow,  despicable  soul.  Face  to  face  with  so  pro- 
digious an  expenditure,  my  petty  plebeian  instincts  of 
economy  and  system  suddenly  awoke,  it  was  necessa- 
ry to  examine  the  evil  thoroughly  and  apply  a  reme- 
dy, for  it  was  impossible  to  remain  in  such  a  situation. 
I  was  grateful  to  my  kind  Timol6on,  who,  by  his  un- 
expected borrowing,  had  opened  my  eyes  and  com- 
pelled me  to  adopt  some  definite  course  of  action. 
Therefore,  after  breakfast,  I  went  to  the  studio  where 
my  wife  and  her  mother  were  sitting.  I  was  resolute, 
but  very  calm. 

Esther,  holding  an  immense  palette,  her  hair 
dishevelled,  her  eyes  beaming,  and  her  hands  con- 
cealed under  long  gloves,  seemed  to  be  in  the  act  of 
seizing  some  inspiration.  The  furniture  was  loaded 
with  drapery,  cartoons,  and  engravings. 

"  I  hope  I  am  not  disturbing  you,  ladies,"  I  said 
gently. 

Mme.  Paline's  only  reply  was  a  little  dry  cough, 
which  reminded  me  of  the  deplorable  incident  of  the 
alarm  clock.  How  difficult  it  would  be  to  get  at  the 
financial  question  ! 

"  My  dear  Esther,  my  kind  mother,  I  have  come 
to  make  my  apologies  for  my  awkwardness  this  morn- 
ing, and — " 

"  Oh  !  don't  say  another  word  about  it ;  it  would 
end  by  setting  our  teeth  on  edge.  You  are  in  my 
light,  my  dear,  you  see  I  am  working." 

"  True,"  I  said  more  boldly,  "  excuse  me.  The 
idea  of  my  standing  stupidly  directly  in  your  light. 
And  you,  mother,  I  hope  you  will  pardon  this  ridicu- 
lous little  accident." 

"  I  should  never  have  dared  to  make  use  of  that 
adjective,  but  since  you  employ  it,  it  meets  with  my 
approval  :  ridiculous  indeed,  extremely  ridiculous. 
Let  us  stop  there.  You  have  noisy  habits  of  early 
rising  to  which  wc  shall  know  how  to  submit.  You 
were  not  late  this  morning — I  hope  your  young  lads 


BABOLAIN.  1 1 7 

Studied  well.  It  would  oblige  me  if  you  would  not 
crush  the  engravings  on  that  chair  by  sitting  down 
upon  them." 

"  Ah  !  I  beg  your  pardon.  I  crush  the  engravings, 
I  stand  in  the  light !  What  is  the  matter  with  me  to- 
day ? " 

"  Why  nothing  extraordinary,  it  seems — " 

I  turned  to  my  wife  :  "  Oh  !  this  is  the  sketch  of 
the — for  the  drawing-room.  You  have  worked  very 
industriously,  my  darling,  and  are  beginning  to  put  on 
the  colors." 

"  Yes,  I  am  beginning  to  put  on  the  colors."  The 
two  ladies  exchanged  pitying  glances.  I  felt  that  I 
had  indeed  spoken  like  a  veritable  plebeian.  I  was 
always  wounding  them  by  my  awkwardness  and  inad- 
vertence ;  it  must  be  confessed  that  my  mind  was  pre- 
occupied by  the  money  question.  Thus  I  perceived 
it  was  necessary  to  compliment  her  upon  her  work, 
but  what  was  I  to  say  ?  I  could  distinguish  nothing 
in  these  sketches  but  a  perfectly  unintelligible  con- 
fusion. Yet  I  wished  to  make  myself  agreeable  in 
order  to  lead  the  more  gently  to  the  fatal  explanation. 
Fortunately,  an  interesting  recollection  recurred  to 
my  mind : 

"  What  astonishes  me,"  I  said  eagerly,  "  is  that  the 
light  constantly  coming  from  the  left  side  does  not 
annoy  you  horribly." 

"  We  stand  so  as  to  prevent  the  colors  from  shin- 
ing." 

"  It  would  not  surprise  me  if  this  custom  was  the 
cause  of  grave  errors  in  the  appreciation  of  colors." 

"  That  is  a  new  idea  ;   and  why,  if  you  please  ? " 

"  On  account  of  the  sclerotic  light,  my  darling." 
Sure  of  interesting  them  deeply  by  this  Uttle  scientific 
detail,  of  which  they  were  doubtless  ignorant,  I  had, 
I  believe,  pronounced  the  word  sclerotic  with  a  cer- 
tain emphasis.  The  two  ladies  began  to  laugh;  but  1 
was  not  much  disconcerted, for  I  knew  very  well  I  was 


Il8  B ABO  LAIN. 

right.  I  continued:  "  It  must  first  be  observed  that  the 
light  which  reaches  the  back  of  the  eye  does  not  enter 
only  by  the  pupil ;  the  sclerotic  coat,  otherwise  called 
the  opaque  cornea,  or  the  white  of  the  eye  if  you  prefer, 
and  which  in  you  has  such  a  delicate  tinge  of  blue — " 
"You  are  very  complimentary." 
"  You  will  understand,  in  an  instant :  the  sclerotic 
coat  and  the  vascular  tissue  underneath  both  permit 
a  large  portion  of  the  external  light  to  pass." 

"  Oh !  dear,  what  are  you  saying  to  me  !  "  asked 
my  wife  with  comical  terror. 

"  Perhaps  it  is  very  interesting,"  observed  Mme. 
Paline  ;  "  let  your  husband  continue  his  lecture,  dar- 
ling." 

"  I  will  not  go  on  if  it  is  disagreeable  to  you." 
"On  the  contrary,  I  already  feel  the  greatest  sym- 
pathy for  this  sclerotic  coat." 

"  Little  rogue,"  I  continued  :  "a  large  portion  of 
light  then  passes  through  the  sclerotic  coat  and  the 
vascular  tissue — " 

"  Beneath,  it  is  understood." 

"  Beneath,  of  course.  Now  this  light  becomes 
tinged  with  red  in  its  passage  through  the  membranes 
of  the  eye,  then  spreads  out  diffusely  over  the  retina, 
and,  in  consequence  of  its  color,  diminishes  the  reti- 
na's susceptibility  to  red." 

"  You  will  break  my  heart ;  but  what  can  I  do  to 
help  it  t  " 

" 'lliere  would  not  in  fact  be  any  inconvenient  re- 
sult if  this  sclerotic  light  entered  the  eyes  equally  ;  but 
as  in  painting  you  always  have  the  window  on  the  left, 
it  follows  that  much  more  enters  the  left  eye  than  the 
right  ;  and  consequently,  in  artists,  the  retina  of  the  left 
eye  is  less  sensitive  to  red  than  that  of  the  right." 
"That  is  unfortunate  ;  and  then  ?  " 
"  Then  !  pear  me,  why  that's  ail.  The  equilibri- 
um between  the  two  eyes  might  perhaps  be  restored 


BABOLAIN.  1 19 

by  the  aid  of  spectacles  with  glasses  of  different 
colors." 

"  You're  secretly  in  partnership  with  a  dealer  in 
glasses,  there's  no  doubt  about  it,  and  you  want  to  sell 
your  wares." 

The  financial  question  was  receding  farther  and 
farther.  By  a  fortunate  accident  my  mother-in-law 
gave  me  an  opportunity  of  returning  to  it. 

"  My  dear  son-in-law,"  she  said  with  great  affabili- 
ty, "  I  have  just  received  some  bills,  I  don't  know  ex- 
actly what  they  are — for  hangings,  furniture,  etc.  You 
will  see.  I  must  point  out  to  you  in  regard  to  the 
coachmaker's  account,  that  the  prices  were  agreed 
upon  between  the  man  and  myself.  All  the  papers  are 
yonder  on  the  table — but  go  on  with  your  little  lesson, 
I  beg  of  you." 

"  I  have  finished."  Then  muttering  to  myself :  "  It 
must  be  said,  it  must;  come  Babolain,  be  a  man." 

"  Do  these  bills  amount  to  a  large  sum  ?  "  I  asked 
in  a  smothered  tone. 

"  Look  yourself,  my  friend  ;  the  whole  collection  is 
over  there — you're  stepping  on  my  dress  ;  take  care  !  " 

I  began  to  look  them  over,  and  in  the  first  place 
read  :  "  Byzantine  lamp  in  enamel,  fifteen  hundred 
francs.  Original  drawing  attributed  to  Veronese,  nine 
hundred  francs." 

I  was  bewildered,  and  felt  a  tempest  raging  within 
me  and  ready  to  burst  forth.  "  What !  "  said  1,  "  that 
hideous  old  night  lamp  in  the  next  room  cost  fifteen 
hundred  francs,  when  I  have  lived  for  a  whole  year 
on  the  same  sum  ?  Where  are  we  going  ? — this  is 
frightful.  My  good  mother,  my  dear  Esther,  reflect. 
We  are  lost,  ruin  awaits  us,  if  you  do  not  pause 
upon  this  fatal  declivity.  What !  not  a  bill  paid  ! 
Then  for  what  have  the  immense  sums  I  have  placed 
in  the  drawer  been  used  ?  For  what .-'  It  is  the  very 
madness  of  extravagance  and  improvidence.  These 
apartments,  which  surpass  in  luxury  the  abodes  of 


120  B  ABO  LAIN. 

princes,  these  horses,  these  carriages  !  It  is  bound- 
less, it  is  a  gulf,  an  increasing  indefinite  mathemati- 
cal progression." 

The  silence  that  surrounded  me  like  an  icy  man- 
tle soon  produced  its  effect :  my  tongue  faltered,  the 
words  came  with  difficulty,  and  at  last  I  stopped 
short,  bewildered  by  my  own  audacity. 

"  I  see  I  was  not  mistaken  in  regard  to  you,  Mon- 
sieur," murmured  Mme.  Paline  with  sovereign  digni- 
ty. "  Do  not  be  afraid,  your  interests  shall  be  pro- 
tected ;  I  will  pay  all  the  expenses  that  have  been 
incurred  here  from  my  own  property.  You  hear  me. 
And  now  you  can  withdraw." 

It  was  utterly  impossible  to  resist  the  authority 
of  such  a  deportment.  I  was  advancing  towards  the 
door  in  great  agitation,  when  Esther,  seizing  me  by 
the  arm,  cried  :  "  So  you  want  a  separation.  You  are 
not  satisfied,  miserable  man,  with  having  broken  our 
hearts  by  a  thousand  tortures,  a  thousand  mortifica- 
tions, you  want  to  taste  the  joys  of  the  tiger ;  that  is 
what  you  want." 

With  her  eyes  flashing,  her  nostrils  dilating,  her 
lips  half  parted,  her  face  almost  concealed  beneath 
the  luxuriant  hair  that  had  fallen  from  its  bonds,  she 
was  exquisitely  beautiful — I  could  not  help  it — I 
turned,  and  suddenly  clasping  her  in  my  arms,  cried : 
"  My  Esther,  my  love — I — I  am  a  very  poor  man  !  " 
and  hurriedly  made  my  escape. 

While  on  my  way  to  my  lawyer's  I  thought  to  my- 
self: "  Yes,I  am  a  very  poor  man.  Nothing  is  more 
contemptible  than  to  upbraid  another  with  a  benefit, 
and  upbraid  with  such  violence."  The  more  I  re- 
flected upon  my  inexcusable  outbreak,  the  baser  and 
more  despicable  I  found  myself.  It  was  through 
weakness,  foolish  pride,  and  awkwardness,  rather 
than  tenderness,  that  I  had  allowed  these  two  poor 
women  to  become  involved  in  a  course  of  mad  ex- 
penditures of  whose  consequences  they  were  ignorant ; 


BABOLAIN.  1 2 1 

would  not  a  word  have  been  sufficient  to  open  their 
eyes  before  their  improvidence  had  become  a  habit  ? 
I  had  never  been  ignorant  of  the  fact  that  they  need- 
ed to  Uve  in  an  atmosphere  of  luxury,  surrounded  by 
delicate  and  refined  pleasures.  I  knew  they  were 
not  accomplished  housekeepers,  economical  and  at- 
tentive to  the  petty  details  of  every-day  hfe,  but  en- 
thusiastic, lavish,  poetical,  incapable  of  calculating 
and  foreseeing ;  and  was  it  not  precisely  those  very 
quaUties  which  had  attracted  me  to  them  ?  Had  I 
not  enjoyed  their  magnificence  and  prodigality  ?  Pit- 
eously,  it  is  true,  and  like  a  miser  ;  but,  after  all,  had 
I  not  enjoyed  it?  And  now  that  I  was  obliged  to 
pay  for  the  expenditure  I  had  encouraged,  my  avarice 
raised  its  head,  and  in  pious  indignation  I  appealed 
to  morality,  to  the  holy  domestic  virtues.  If  I  had 
even  made  this  money — but  it  had  fallen  to  me  from 
the  skies.  How  can  I  ever  understand  these  great 
poetic  souls  soaring  through  space,  I  who  trudge 
along  in  the  path  like  a  timid  beggar,  having  no 
other  horizon  than  the  pebbles  in  the  road  ? 

Yet  a  faint,  almost  smothered  voice  to  which  I  did 
not  wish  to  listen,  but  could  not  help  hearing,  said  : 
"  Is  happiness  so  far  away  ?  Would  they  not  have 
been  contented  amid  plainer  surroundings?  Were 
you  not  born,  fool  that  you  are,  for  the  calm  and 
quiet  joys  of  a  laborious,  orderly  life  ?  Your  wife 
should  be  a  simple,  economical,  prudent  girl,  having 
no  other  ambition  than  to  nurse  her  children  and 
govern  her  household,  and  then  perhaps  you  might 
have  become  a  distinguished  savant ;  instead  of  being 
the  pitiful  husband  of  a  woman  of  genius,  you  might 
have  undertaken  one  of  the  noble  works  of  which 
you  dreamed  when  you  were  poor ;  and  people  would 
have  hailed  you  on  your  way  as  they  greet  one  who 
has  fulfilled  the  task  Providence  marked  out  for  him." 
The  voice  spoke  to  me  thus  ;  but  far  from  heeding  it, 
I  thought ;  "  How  skilful    man  is  in  deceiving  him- 


122  BABOLAIN, 

self!  What  is  there  in  this  humble,  narrow  life  which 
seems  to  me  like  an  ideal  vision,  except  the  desire  to 
amass  wealth  ?  Should  I  have  such  thoughts  if  I  were 
not  an  egotist  and  a  miser  ?  But,  by  Heavens,  I  will 
tear  these  passions  from  my  heart  ;you  shall  no  longer 
have  to  blush  for  them,  my  Esther;!  will  no  longer 
be  an  obstacle  to  your  genius  and  your  glory !  " 

And  I  proceeded  on  my  way  to  my  notary's  with 
the  energy  of  a  man  who  rushes  forward  to  storm  a 
breach. 

XI. 

I  returned  from  the  notary's  with  my  pockets  full 
and  my  mind  somewhat  calmed.  I  had  decided  upon 
my  course :  I  would  mortgage  my  vineyards,  sell  a 
small  farm,  and  obtain  as  much  advantage  as  possible 
from  my  title  of  professor  by  giving  private  lessons. 
I  was  convinced  that,  unconsciously  to  myself,  I  had 
been  basely  jealous  of  Esther's  fame.  True,  I  could 
not  prove  this  jealousy  by  facts,  but  disgraceful  feel- 
ings know  how  to  conceal  themselves  so  skillfully 
within  the  deepest  recesses  of  the  heart !  Yes  !  yes  ! 
I  had  been  jealous  of  my  wife's  superiority,  and  I 
would  punish  myself  for  it. 

While  awaiting  the  time — which  would  not  be 
long  deferred — when  she  could  sell  her  works  for 
their  weight  in  gold ;  when  she  should  obtain  the  for- 
tune her  genius  assured  her,  I  wanted  her  to  have  all 
the  material  pleasures  money  procures ;  I  must  hon- 
estly provide  her  with  the  luxuries  which  were  neces- 
sities to  her.  If  either  must  be  sacrificed  to  the 
other,  it  was  only  just  that  it  should  be  I — I  without 
genius,  without  wants,  born  for  obscurity.  And  be- 
sides, the  idea  of  imposing  upon  myself,  for  her  sake, 
a  heavy  task  of  wliich  all  the  world  would  be  igno- 
rant, greatly  consoled  me.  I  should  thus  compel  her 
to  accept,  without  her  being  able  to  help  it,  the  fruit 


BABOLAIN.  123 

of  my  labor.  It  would  no  longer  be  money  fallen 
from  the  sky,  but  money  I  had  earned,  and  earned 
with  painful  toil. 

Scarcely  had  I  re-entered  the  house  when  I  went 
towards  the  little  room  where  the  chest  of  drawers 
stood,  to  deposit  in  them  the  contents  of  my  pocket- 
book.  Although  I  had  rung  the  bell  without  any 
special  caution,  and  had  not  thought  of  hushing  the 
sound  of  my  steps,  the  ladies,  though  the  study  door 
was  half  open,  did  not  hear  me ;  for  in  spite  of  my 
presence  they  continued  their  conversation  as  if  I 
was  not  there  ;  and  it  was  this  very  conversation  which 
made  me  understand  the  full  extent  of  the  wrong  I 
had  done  them : 

"  Knowing  himself  to  be  rich,"  said  Esther,  "  he 
believes  himself  intelligent; that's  perfectly  natural. 
We  seem  fools  to  him,  nothing  more." 

"  Do  not  utter  blasphemies,  my  love." 

"  And  I,  who  had  dreamed  of  marriage  as  a  com- 
munion of  enthusiastic  feelings,  a  constant  soaring 
towards  the  pure  regions  of  the  ideal,  find  instead  of 
this,  a  shameful  and  dishonoring  slavery,  the  subjec- 
tion of  my  soul  to  the  will  of  a  being  inflexible  as 
steel." 

"  Your  father  was  the  same,  my  love  ;  I  know  what 
people  suffer !  " 

"  It's  enough  to  kill  one  !  " 

"  Yes,  it  is  indeed  ;  but  I  am  here,  my  child.  And 
in  the  first  place,  I  will  have  our  situation  perfectly 
clear  ;  I  will  compel  him — yes,  I  will  impose  the  shame 
upon  him,  I  will  compel  him  to  accept  the  payment 
for  my  board,  which  hitherto  I  did  not  dare  to  offer,  out 
of  consideration  for  him.  I  will  pay  him  as  we  pay 
an  innkeeper,  a  common  tradesman,  a  shoemaker." 

"  Let  us  behave  like  Christians,  mother." 

"  But  what  would  become  of  you,  my  dear,  if  I 
should  die  }  what  would  become  of  you  in  this  hell .-'" 

"  I  should  find  an  invincible  strength  in  the  love 


124  BABOLAIN. 

of  my  art.  Oh!  I  feel  it; all  the  ardor  of  my  soul 
bears  me  towards  painting,  towards  that  passion  for 
the  beautiful  which  is  devouring  me.  Oh !  God,  it 
is  through  suffering  that  genius  is  purified." 

"  You  are  worthy  of  all  admiration,  my  poor 
angel." 

"  Henceforth  I  shall  devote  myself  to  religious 
painting ;  that  alone  can  harmonize  with  my  mood 
now.  1  will  paint  sorrow  and  resignation  in  impas- 
sioned touches.  My  Abel  was,  I  see,  a  successful 
effort,  only  I  sketched  with  siccatives,  so  that  I  was 
mistaken  about  the  causes  of  my  failure.  Color  is 
for  bright,  happy  souls  ;  to  be  a  colorist  one  must 
have  the  sun  in  nature  and  in  the  heart.  Those  fair 
days  have  passed.  An  austere  style,  pure,  simple 
drawing  will  console  me.  Yes,  for  the  next  exhibi- 
tion— I  still  have  a  fortnight — I  will  make  two  allegor- 
ical figures,  on  a  golden  background, in  the  style  of 
the  ancients.  It  shall  be :  Despair  supported  by 
Religious  Feeling  ;  a  group.  I  see,  I  feel  it.  I  will 
paint  Despair  from  myself,  to  dispense  with  models, 
and  you  will  sit  for  Religious  Feeling,  won't  you, 
mother  ?  My  career  is  beginning  anew.  We  will  see 
what  the  name  of  poor  Esther  Paline,  the  fool,  the 
enthusiast,  will  become.  Will  you  go  out  with  me, 
mother,  I  am  stifling ! — and  then  we'll  go  to  the 
gilder's  to  order  the  golden  background." 

"  I  will  order  the  carriage.  What  misery  1  Great 
Heavens  !  " 

"And  we  will  return  through  the  Champs  Ely- 
sdes." 

"  Especially  as  we  must  go  down  the  Rue  Royale 
for  the  chandelier." 

While  making  due  allowance  for  the  exaggeration 
natural  to  artists,  1  saw  only  too  clearly  by  this  con- 
versation how  deep  was  the  suffering  of  these  ladies. 
Chance  inflicted  a  harsh  but  salutary  lesson  !  I  took 
a  secret  vow  that  it  should  not  be  useless  to  me,  and 


BABOLAIN.  125 

that  I  would  do  all  in  my  power  to  rehabilitate  myself 
in  their  eyes  and  regain  their  affection. 

From  that  day  forth  I  was  attentive  to  everything, 
and  anticipated  their  wishes  to  the  best  of  my  ability  ; 
unfortunately  I  usually  guessed  wrong.  I  eagerly 
interested  myself  in  everything  they  liked,  over- 
whelmed them  with  attentions,  and  made  them  a 
thousand  little  presents.  On  leaving  my  lecture-room 
I  rushed  to  Chevet's  to  get  the  early  fruits, of  which 
Mme.  Paline  was  very  fond  ;  at  other  times  I  pur- 
chased rare  flowers  to  fill  the  drawing-room — in  short 
I  did  the  very  best  I  could. 

They  accepted  everything  with  a  cold  politeness 
that  greatly  distressed  me.  I  was  conscious,  it  is 
true,  that  I  did  not  set  about  it  properly ;  I  did  not 
know  how  to  offer  my  gifts  ;  they  never  came  just  at 
the  right  moment,  but  too  soon  or  too  late  ;  and  they 
could  read  in  my  attentions  the  efforts  I  was  making 
to  render  them  more  attractive.  One  would  have 
said  my  conduct  inspired  them  with  a  species  of  dis- 
trust, and  repelled  them  from  me.  My  violent  out- 
bursts had  certainly  caused  them  to  feel  less  repug- 
nance than  my  present  humility  and  dull  submission. 
They  no  longer  hated  me ; but  I  wearied  them.  I  had  a 
proof  of  it  one  evening.  There  was  company  at  the 
house — I  was  very  tired,  having  worked  ever  since 
early  morning,  when  my  mother-in-law  approached, 
and  smiling  kindly  at  me,  which  she  had  not  done 
for  a  long  time,  said  : 

"  Son-in-law,  your  dear  little  wife  is  very  ill.  |  Oh ! 
don't  be  alarmed ;  it  is  nothing  dangerous,  but  she 
needs  rest,  perfect  quiet,  a  few  nights  of  sound  sleep 
will  doubtless  restore  her." 

"  You  really  think  it  will  be  nothing  serious  ?  My 
poor  Esther!     Perhaps  she  sits  up  too  late." 

"  Perhaps  she  is  awakened  too  early;  besides, it  is 
the  doctor's  advice.  You  leave  the  house  at  day- 
break— " 


126  B ABO  LAIN. 

"  Yes,  I  am  so  busy — " 

"  I  have  no  intention  of  censuring  your  acts ; 
they  do  not  concern  me,  but  your  early  departure  and 
the  noise  it  causes  trouble  her  very  much.  It  would 
be  prudent  for  her  to  avoid  all  kinds  of  disturbance 
for  some  time ;  where  shall  I  have  your  bed  made  ?  " 

It  seemed  as  if  I  was  going  to  be  ill,  so  violent 
was  my  agitation,  yet  there  was  nothing  unnatural  in 
Mme.  Paline's  words. 

"  In  my  little  study,  if  you  please ;  there  I  shall 
disturb  no  one." 

"In  the  fruit -room?  As  you  please.  Will  you 
give  me  the  key  of  that  boudoir  .-'  " 

"  Thank  you,  I  am  going  there  myself." 

I  could  not  accept  this  banishment  without  having 
an  explanation  with  Esther,  bidding  her  good -night 
and  embracing  her.  I  waited  until  every  one  had 
gone,  and  then  knocked  at  the  door  of  her  room. 

*'  I  am  very  much  obliged  to  you,  my  dear,"  she 
said  instantly,  "  you  won't  have  very  good  accommo- 
dations in  that  little  hole,  but  then  you  have  a  fancy 
for  small  corners." 

"  It  is  you  who  are  concerned  in  this  matter,  my 
darling  ;  so  you  are  very  ill  ?  " 

"  I  am  very  tired,  that's  all.  I  am  working  too 
much  on  account  of  the  picture  I  want  to  finish." 

"  But  what  a  piece  of  imprudence.  To  execute 
a  work  of  so  much  importance  in  a  fortnight  !  " 

'*  That  is  another  question.  It  is  certain  that  I 
can  no  longer  sleep.  It  is  because  I  am  feverish, 
and  because — without  any  disrespect  to  you — you 
snore  like  a  hero." 

I  would  have  preferred  anything,  even  her  anger, 
to  this  little  remark  so  gently  uttered. 

"But  you  should  have  waked  me — told  me  :  noth- 
ing in  the  world  is  more  intolerable — " 

"  Waked  you  !  Do  you  suppose  that  is  an  easy 
matter  }■    When  you  are  sound  asleep,  and  you  gen- 


BABOLAIN.  127 

erally  are,  you  would  be  insensible  to  the  reasoning 
of  a  boxer.  Besides,  when,  after  a  sleepless  night,  I 
am  just  beginning  to  get  a  little  rest,  the  reveille 
sounds  for  you,  and  the  noise — you  must  understand 
it.  Come,  don't  look  at  me  in  that  melancholy  way  ; 
I'm  not  vexed  with  you,  but  I  need — a  vacation  ;  there, 
that  is  the  truth.  Kiss  me,  you  see  I'm  not  vexed 
with  you  j  good-night,  my  dear." 

"  Good  -  night,"  I  murmured.  I  was  about  to 
press  my  lips  to  her  forehead,  and,  as  she  bent  her 
head,  I  kissed  her  hair. 

The  idea  that,  unconsciously  to  myself,  during 
my  slumber,  I  had  imposed  upon  her  a  torture  per- 
fectly unendurable  to  a  nervous  woman,  haunted  me. 
And  in  spite  of  all,  she  had  had  the  goodness  not  to 
make  me  a  single  reproach  !  Ah  !  if  she  could  have 
read  my  heart,  seen  with  what  eagerness  I  vowed  to 
redouble  my  attention  and  homage  !  But  the  mis- 
fortune was,  that  I  did  not  know  how  to  make  myself 
understood,  I  seemed  to  be  imprisoned  in  an  accurs- 
ed armor  I  could  not  cast  off.  If  she  could  have 
realized  the  strange  joy  I  felt  for  several  days  in 
watching  the  drawer  empty  with  increasing  rapidity, 
and  saying  to  myself :  "  At  least  they  will  not  accuse 
me  of  avarice."  If  she  could  have  seen  the  effort  I 
was  making. 

Thus  the  fruit-room  became  my  sleeping  cham- 
ber. I  was,  of  course,  very  unhappy ;  and  yet  one 
sometimes  has  strange  impressions — the  feeling  of 
independence  I  experienced  within  those  four  walls 
was  not  without  its  charm.  I  was  away  from  her,  it 
is  true,  but  I  was  more  free  to  think  without  fear  of 
displeasing  her,by  looking  at  or  approaching  her,  of 
irritating  her  by  an  indiscreet  question,  or  the  shrill 
tone  of  my  voice.  In  fancy,  I  could  gaze  into  her 
face,  take  her  hands,  cover  her  with  kisses,  press  her 
to  my  heart,  and  I  no  longer  trembled  for  the  conse- 
quences of  my  boldness.     In  fact,  I  possessed  her 


128  BABOLAIN. 

more  completely.  And  in  the  evening  —  these  follies 
return  to  my  mind — when  I  embraced  my  pillow,  mur- 
muring: "Good-night!  my  Esther,  good-night !  my 
love,"  I  imagined  I  could  see  her  smile,  and  was 
grateful  to  her  for  it.  And  in  the  morning  at  day- 
break, while  I  hastily  ate  a  bit  of  bread  and  some 
chocolate,  I  talked  to  her  aloud  without  fear  of  wak- 
ing her,  told  her  my  most  secret  thoughts,  discussed 
mathematics,  and  she  did  not  yawn.  I  reckoned  be- 
fore her  the  number  of  my  lessons,  consulted  her 
about  the  means  of  making  them  still  more  numer- 
ous, told  her  of  the  money  I  had  earned,  calcu- 
lated what  it  brought  us  in  per  day,  per  hour. 
"  You  see  you  can  play  the  princess,  my  little  dar- 
ling," I  said,  embracing  her,  and  it  was  evident  that 
she  was  not  indifferent. 

Yes,  I  was  very  happy  in  that  little  fruit-room,  and 
thanks  to  my  habits  of  analysis  and  criticism,  I  had 
the  good  fortune  not  to  let  a  single  one  of  these  joys 
pass  without  testing  and  squeezing  it  like  an  orange. 

One  day,  when  I  was  returning  from  the  college, 
walking  very  quickly  along  the  walls  and  carrying 
under  my  arm  a  huge  bundle  of  books  and  papers,  I 
heard  Timol6on's  voice  behind  me. 

"  Have  you  turned  peddler,  little  old  man  ?  What 
has  become  of  you — what  are  you  doing.?  " 

"  I  am  busy — I — I  have  a  great  deal  of  work  to 
do,"  I  replied.     "  How  are  you  t  " 

"  To  judge  by  the  size  of  your  baggage,  your  oc- 
cupations are  by  no  means  trivial.  Are  you  begin- 
ning the  famous  work — you  know — the  book  you  in- 
tended to  write?  " 

"  No,  oh  !  no — that  is,  yes ;  I  am  thinking  of  it, 
but  in  short — you  have  just  come  from  the  ladies  ?  " 

*'  Of  course,  and  I  hoped  to  meet  you  there,  but 
you  are  becoming  impossible  to  find.  I  said  to  Mme. 
Paline  just  now:  '  Where  have  you  hidden  my  friend, 
in  what  closet  have  vou  shut  him  up  ?     Have  you 


BABOLAIN.  129 

sold  or  exchanged  him  ? '  I  saw  at  once  I  should 
try  in  vain  to  make  them  smile.  Your  prolonged  ab- 
sences grieve  those  two  poor  women  deeply." 

"  Is  that  true  ?  "  I  asked  suddenly ; "  did  my  wife 
speak  of  me  to  you  ?  " 

I  should  have  liked  to  confess  that  I  was  work- 
ing for  them  ;  that,  having  been  occupied  ever  since 
early  morning,!  had  breakfasted  on  a  roll  bought  at  a 
bakers  shop  I  passed.  But  was  not  confessing  this 
to  him  to  make  a  parade  of  devotion,  when  I  was  only 
doing  my  duty,  nothing  more.  And  then,  in  Timo- 
l6on's  eyes,  it  was  coming  down  from  my  little  scien- 
tific pedestal.  Besides,!  saw  plainly  that  he  consid- 
ered me  a  hypocrite, who  wished  to  conceal  his  con- 
duct. 

"  Listen  to  me,  my  little  old  man  :  !  have  already 
told  you  so  once  before — you  are  in  a  miserable  way; 
on  pretext  of  important  occupations,  you  neglect 
your  family.  Your  mother  and  wife  weep  and  la- 
ment over  it,  mourning  has  entered  the  household. 
All  this  must  be  changed.  Ah  !  let  me  speak,  or  ! 
shall  no  longer  trouble  myself  about  anything.  The 
two  poor  women  need  some  hvely  amusement ;  it  is 
absolutely  necessary  to  arrange  a  little  entertainment, 
a  fancy  ball,  for  instance  :  when  all  Paris  is  amusing 
itself  masquerading,  committing  all  sorts  of  follies, 
why  the  deuce  should  they  remain  yonder  alone  in 
their  convent  in  the  Rue  Vaugirard  ?  " 

"  But,  my  friend,  perhaps  you  think  that — " 

"  I  merely  think  you  remain  for  whole  days  ab- 
sent from  your  home ;  that  you  scarcely  re-enter  it  at 
meal  times.     Is  this  true  or  not  ?  " 

"  Yes,  it  is  true,  but — " 

"  Oh  pshaw  !  there  are  no  buts.  Facts  are  facts. 
A  man  who  loves  his  wife  doesn't  act  so.  I  tell  you 
this  frankly,  for  my  heart  really  bleeds  when  I  hear 
those  poor  ladies  murmur.  *  What  does  he  do  ? 
Why  does  he  desert  us  in  this  way  ?  What  habits  is 
9 


1 30  BABOLAIN. 

he  forming  away  from  his  home  ?  With  what  people 
does  he  associate  ?  Why  does  he  envelop  himself  in 
mysteries  ?  Does  he  not  believe  in  anything,  even 
God  ?     You  are  not  behaving  well,  my  dear  fellow." 

I  could  no  longer  conquer  my  emotion,  and  re- 
plied: 

"  There  are  no  mysteries  in  my  life,  Timol(§on.  I 
work  very  hard,  that  is  all.  I  am  giving— hum,  hum,  I 
am  giving  a  great  many  lessons,  being  a  little  embar- 
rassed just  now." 

"  What,  embarrassed  !  You're  joking,  I  suppose. 
Embarrassed  with  your  fortune  ?  Do  you  happen  to 
want  to  remind  me  that  I  haven't  settled  our  ac- 
counts ?  You  shall  be  paid,  my  dear  fellow — confound 
it,  of  course  you  shall  be  paid." 

"  Timoleon,  my  friend,  my  old  schoolmate,  pray 
don't  imagine  that."  His  remark  wounded  me  deeply. 
Then  I  had  again  been  acting  very  badly  for  the  best 
of  men  to  believe  me  capable  of  such  feelings  !  "  Do 
not  desert  me,"  I  continued,  "  you  know  how  awk- 
ward I  am.  With  you  it  is  very  different.  You  are 
right,  we  must  amuse  my  wife,  give  a  ball,  a  masquer- 
ade, certainly — there  is  no  doubt  about  it.  Their 
health,  their  happiness  must  take  precedence  of 
everything  else.  You  will  arrange  all  this,  won't 
you  }  But  believe  me,  I  have  told  you  the  truth  :  I  give 
lessons  because  I  am  short  of  money." 

"  Don't  say  a  word  about  it  to  those  two  poor 
women,  at  least,  it  would  hurt  their  feelings  !  What 
a  humiliation  !  They  could  not  endure  it.  But  how 
did  you  get  so  reduced  ?  Have  you  been  making 
unlucky  speculations .-'  " 

"  Yes,  that  is  it.     I  have  been  speculating." 

"  In  a  word,  youVe  been  gambling — you're  a  gam- 
bler !  oh  !  poor  creatures  !  " 

"  No,  I  am  not  a  gambler  ;  it  is  an  accident; you 
know  how  such  things  go?  An  investment — people 
may  be  mistaken.     Don't  say  anything  to  them  ;  the 


BABOLAIN.  131 

misfortune  will  soon  be  repaired.  You  swear  you 
won't  say  anything  to  them." 

"  Yes,  of  course  I  swear  it.  Should  I  tell  them 
that  to  kill  them  ?  " 

"  Thank  you,  you  are  always  very  kind.  You 
won't  forget  the  little  entertainment  ?  I  have  no  time 
to  attend  to  it." 

What  a  good  idea  that  was  of  Timol6on's  !  What 
an  experienced  man  he  was,  and  what  an  excellent 
friend.  On  the  following  morning  I  could  see  the  ef- 
fects of  his  benevolent  intervention  :  the  idea  of  the 
ball  was  like  a  reviving  balsam.  Esther,  exhausted 
by  working  upon  her  large  picture  with  the  golden 
background,  was  suddenly  re-animated,  and  gave  her- 
self up  without  reserve,  with  all  her  artistic  enthusiasm 
to  the  preparations  for  the  ball.  Meantime  the  little 
entertainment,  which  was  at  first  to  be  only  a  party 
of  intimate  friends,  gradually  assumed  a  ceremonious 
character  which  made  me  uneasy.  The  list  of  invi- 
tations lengthened  every  moment,  and  already  three 
workmen  were  installed  in  the  drawing-rooms  cutting 
and  nailing  almost  day  and  night.  Timol6on  gave 
directions  for  everything,  and  never  left  the  house  ; 
and  every  evening,  when  I  came  in,  I  noticed  with 
great  pleasure  the  eager  activity  of  the  ladies. 

"  At  least  they  are  happy  and  have  not  reproached 
me  even  once,"  I  said  to  myself;"  what  does  the  rest 
matter  ? " 

M}-  dear  wife,  gay,  joyous,  active,  running  hither  and 
thither,  flying  into  a  passion,  laughing  heartily,  think- 
ing of  everything,  anticipating  everything,  was  like  a 
general  on  the  eve  of  a  battle.  I  said  to  myself : 
"  She  is  much  better  ;  she  will  be  perfectly  well,  and 
there  will  soon  be  no  necessity  for  the  regimen  she  is 
now  compelled  to  follow."  Oh  !  God,  what  a  joyful 
thought ! 

"  I'll  wager  you  are  thinking  of  going  to  bed,  my 
little  old  man,"  said  Timol6on  clapping  me  on  the 
shoulder; "it  is  ten  o'clock." 


132  B ABO  LAIN. 

I  did  not  wish  to  let  the  extreme  fatigue  I  always 
felt  at  this  hour  be  perceived.  "  Why  so  ?  "I  an- 
swered. "  Look,  my  friend,  see  how  pretty  my  wife  is  ! 
She  doesn't  appear  to  be  ill  now,  does  she  .''  How 
fresh  and  blooming  she  is !  " 

"  I  had  not  noticed  it ;  yes,  it  is  true,  but  you  are 
longing  to  go  to  sleep." 

"  You  are  making  fun  of  me,  Timol6on.  Come, 
give  me  your  advice  frankly,  a  friend's  counsel,  as 
they  call  it.  Do  you  think  I  ought  to — wear  a  fancy 
dress  ? " 

"  Why,  of  course,  that  is  indispensable." 

"Ah!  but  really,  seriously,  w  it  indispensable? 
The  thought  occupies  my  mind  a  great  deal.  I  nev- 
er wore  a  disguise." 

"  I  shall  disguise  myself  entirely.  One  must  be 
like  the  rest  of  the  world." 

"  Shall  I  be  very  ridiculous  ?  If  it  really  must  be, 
I  will  do  it.  I  have  thought  of  nothing  else  for  the 
last  three  days.  Oh  !  I  should  very  much  prefer  not 
to — you  understand,  being  a  professor — " 

"  What  you  say  is  absurd.  You  are  not  obliged 
to  appear  as  a  savage,  put  feathers  on  your  head  and 
curtain  rings  in  your  nose,  my  little  old  man.  Take 
a  historical  costume,  something  dignified — in  a  word, 
a  dress  suitable  for  the  master  of  the  house.  It  is  a 
mere  formality.  I'm  no  more  disposed  to  play  the 
part  of  a  merry-andrew  than  you  ;  besides,  we  shall 
have  a  gay  circle,  and  eccentricities  would  be  inad- 
missible." 

"Will  there  be  a  great  many  people  ?  Are  not 
the  ladies  afraid  }  It  is  very  perplexing — you  say  a 
historical  costume." 

"You  know  of  course' that  every  one  nearly  or 
distantly  connected  with  the  arts  will  want  to  come 
to  this  ball ;  these  are  the  unpleasant  consequences 
of  fame." 

"  True.     And  you  still  think  that,  in  spite  of  the 


BABOLAIN.  133 

number  of  guests,  I  must  wear  a  costume  ?  Then  I 
must  reflect  upon  it.     I  am  so  busy." 

"  Ah  !  yes.  How  do  your  lessons  progress ;  are 
you  satisfied  .-• " 

"  Yes,  yes,  perfectly  satisfied." 

"  Well,  so  much  the  better." 

The  great  day  arrived.  A  row  of  huge  lamps  was 
smoking  in  the  freshly-sanded  courtyard,  and  in  the 
drawing-room  a  squad  of  footmen  dressed  as  mediae- 
val mendicants  were  lighting  the  candles  and  arrang- 
ing the  benches  ;  while  the  orchestra  were  taking  their 
places,  and  the  ladies  were  under  the  hands  of  the 
hairdressers  and  costumers.  I  shut  myself  up  in  the 
fruit-room,  double-locked  the  door,  and  put  on  a  pair 
of  black  silk  knee-breeches,  somewhat  too  long  for 
me.  I  was  pale,  agitated,  sad  enough  to  weep,  and 
yet  I  could  not  have  explained  why.  When  I  had 
adjusted  the  knee-breeches  tolerably  well,  I  turned 
towards  my  little  bed  on  which  were  spread  a  black 
doublet,  a  short  black  cloak,  gloves  of  the  same 
color,  and  a  chestnut  wig  with  long  hanging  curls.  I 
took  the  candle  and  gazed  at  these  things  with  a  sort 
of  despair.  "  Why  did  I  choose  the  costume  of 
Charles  the  First  ?  "  said  I  to  myself.  "  I  was  wrong  : 
I  should  have  been  more  at  my  ease  and  more  con- 
cealed under  Richelieu's  large  cloak — though  to  be 
sure,  the  cloak  is  red,  and  red  attracts  attention.  The 
members  of  the  Council  of  Ten  also  wore  a  cloak,  it 
seems  to  me,  and  a  mask  besides.  A  mask  1  Why 
didn't  I  think  of  that  1  I  should  be  concealed.  The 
executioner  also  wore  a  mask — that  would  have 
been  repulsive,  but  I  should  have  been  sheltered." 

While  saying  this,  I  thought  of  all  the  accidents 
which  might  still  prevent  my  being  present  at  the  ball. 
Who  knows  ?  I  might  slip  on  the  floor,  break  a  leg, 
or  merely  get  a  sprairu  Yes,  but  how  much  trouble 
that  would  cause  the  servants,  who  were  already  so 
busy.     I  might  swallow  a  bottle  of  brandy,  a  cruet  of 


1 34  BABOLAIN. 

vinegar,  some  drug — I  drove  away  all  these  foolish 
thoughts,  which  were  not  proper  for  an  honest  man, 
and  arranged  the  wig  over  a  brow  damp  with  perspi- 
ration. 

This  royal  costume  was  not  at  all  appropriate  for 
me.  Yet  I  had  explained  my  delicate  position  to  M. 
Babin,  and  even  requested  permission  to  speak  with 
him  in  private  for  that  express  purpose. 

"  I  am  absolutely  obliged,"  I  said  to  him,  "to  at- 
tend a  fancy  ball  next  Friday,  and  although  I  never — " 

"  Madame  Esther  Paline  de  Martignac's  ?  Yes, 
Monsieur  ;  it  will  be  a  very  magnificent  entertain- 
ment ;  we  have  made  several  costumes  for  it ;  pray  sit 
down." 

I  started  as  I  heard  my  wife  called  by  her  maiden 
name,  which  of  course  she  signed  to  her  paintings, 
and  was  on  the  point  of  saying  to  M.  Babin  :  "  Ex- 
cuse me,  I  am  that  lady's  husband,  and  my  name  is 
Babolain,  formerly  a  pupil  in  the  normal  school,  now 
titulary  professor  of  mathematics  in  the  college  of 
Saint  Louis."  I  had  been  on  the  point  of  saying 
this,  but  I  did  not  dare.  "  My  tastes  and  my  career, 
Monsieur,  I  will  even  say  my  social  position,  would 
not  lead  me  to  disguise  myself;  but  as  I  have  had  the 
honor  of  telling  you,  I  am  absolutely  compelled 
to  do  so,  therefore  I  come  to  you  in  all  frankness 
to  ask  you  what  costume  is  best  —  most  suitable,  I 
mean  ?  " 

"There  can  be  no  possible  hesitation:  in  your 
case,  which  often  happens — " 

"  Ah  !  indeed  ;  does  it  often  happen  that  people 
are  obliged  to  wear  a  fancy  dress  against  their  will .-' 
I  pity  them." 

"  It  happens  constantly,  and  then  there  is  nothing 
to  propose  but  tiie  costume  of  Charles  the  First.  It 
is  dignified,  historical ;  we  have  recommended  it  a 
hundred  times  to  magistrates,  physicians,  lawyers — 
and  we  have  never  had  any  complaint  of  it." 


BABOLAIN.  135 

"  Then  I  will  decide  upon  the  dress,  since  you  as- 
sure mc — I  am  not  a  lawyer." 

"  Allow  me  to  take  the  measure." 

"  Nor  a  doctor — it  will  be  plain,  will  it  not,  and  as 
dark  as  possible.  I  should  not  wish  to  be  conspic- 
uous." 

I  went  away  somewhat  cheered  by  a  few  kind 
words  from  Monsieur  Babin,  and  it  was  thus  that  I 
found  myself,  not  from  any  excess  of  pride,  but  by 
the  force  of  circumstances,  dressed  as  a  king  of  Eng- 
land. Moreover,  I  must  say  that  with  the  exception 
of  the  knee-breeches,  which  were  too  long,  all  the 
garments  were  very  well  made. 

When  I  was  ready,  had  put  on  my  orders,  and 
gummed  on  the  mustache  and  the  patch  that  com- 
pleted the  costume,  I  looked  at  myself  in  the  little 
glass  with  mingled  terror  and  compassion.  "  How  I 
must  love  you,  my  Esther,  to  get  myself  into  such  a 
plight !  " 

The  idea  also  occurred  to  me  that  I  ought  to  have 
shaved  off  my  whiskers,  which,  I  don't  exactly  know 
why,  hurt  my  feelings. 

Meantime,  for  at  least  ten  minutes,  I  blew  my  nose, 
coughed,  put  on  and  pulled  off  my  fringed  gloves, 
murmuring:  "I  am  ready — have  I  forgotten  any- 
thing ?  No,  I  am  quite  ready  ;  "  and  upon  a  thousand 
pretexts  I  deferred  the  moment  when  it  would  be  nec- 
essary for  me  to  leave  the  secluded  fruit -room  and 
brave  the  glare  of  the  candles.  At  last  the  rolling 
of  carriages  echoed  from  below — it  must  be  done : 
I  rushed  out,  and  without  looking  around  me  entered 
the  large  drawing-room  blazing  with  light — as  a  poor 
actor  pursued  by  hisses  and  rotten  apples  might  have 
done.  My  great  cane  annoyed  me,  as  well  as  the 
hair  of  my  mustache,  which  tickled  my  nose. 

"  At  first  I  did  not  see  my  mother-in-law,  who,  wav- 
ing her  fan,  was  giving  the  mendicants  their  last  orders. 
She  was  dazzling,  powdered,  elaborately  dressed,  decked 


1 36  BABOLAIM. 

with  plumes,  and  so  completely  at  home  in  her  cos- 
tume of  a  marquise  of  the  days  of  Louis  XV.,  that  I 
was  bewildered. 

"  Good  gracious,  my  dear  friend,"  she  cried,  ill  con- 
cealing a  burst  of  laughter,  "  what  a  queer  idea  it  was 
to  muffle  yourself  up  in  that  dress  ? " 

"  I  am  very  ridiculous,  am  I  not  ? " 

"  Why  no,  I  didn't  say  that :  it  is  just  the  first 
moment.  You  know  one  must  get  accustomed  to  it. 
Take  care  of  your  cane.  Why,  it  is  a  regular  paschal 
candle.     Ha!  ha!  ha!" 

Madame  Paline  was  interrupted  by  the  entrance 
of  guests,  who  succeeded  each  other  in  constant  suc- 
cession. I  greeted  the  first  with  great  energy,  but 
soon  perceived  that  all  were  total  strangers  to  me, 
while  I  was  equally  unknown  to  them ;  and  therefore 
it  was  useless  to  longer  undergo  a  torture  no  one 
could  appreciate. 

I  had  been  concealed  in  an  out-of-the-way  corner 
for  some  minutes,  when  a  murmur  of  surprise  and 
admiration  ran  through  the  crowd.  I  moved  forward 
and  saw  Esther,  my  own  wife,  who  was  making  her 
triumphal  entry.  I  almost  fell  backward  ;  never  in 
the  most  fevered  visions  of  my  youth  had  a  creature 
so  strangely  beautiful  appeared  before  me.  But 
was  it  really  Esther  who  stood  yonder  in  the  guise  of 
that  great  Venetian  lady,  with  the  golden  hair,  milk 
white  skin,  and  indefinable  look,  at  once  gentle  and 
terrible  ?  By  what  magical  art  had  she  thus  trans- 
formed herself?  A  shower  of  pearls  and  precious 
stones  was  scattered  over  her  hair  and  covered  the 
rich  brocade  skirt  which,  raised  —  I  gasped  for 
breath  as  I  looked  at  all  this — raised  on  the  hips,  re- 
vealed scarlet  breeches ;  and  while  the  waves  of  vel- 
vet and  flowered  damask  swept  behind  her  like  a  sort 
of  royal  mantle,  her  neck,  her  shoulders,  her  swelling 
bosom,  her  exquisite  arms — destitute  of  any  orna- 
ment, free  from  all  constraint,  were  displayed  with  a 


BABOLAIN.  137 

confidence  the  malevolent  might  have  taken  for  bold- 
ness ;  but  I  knew  very  well  that  this  excessive  lack 
of  modesty  was  only  the  innocence  of  genius. 

All  heads  bent  instinctively,  and  she  slowly  ad- 
vanced showing  her  beauty  without  the  least  embar- 
rassment, and  smiling  at  the  eager,  curious  glances 
which  seemed  like  ardent  caresses. 

I  too  approached  with  outstretched  neck,  parched 
throat,  and  trembling  limbs,  supporting  myself  on  my 
long  royal  staff,  and  murmuring  in  my  agony  :  "  Yes, 
I  recognize  her  ;  it  is  she,  it  is  my  wife.  Oh  !  God, 
how  beautiful  she  is !  too  beautiful !  "  Why  could  I 
not  turn  them  out,  kill,  murder  this  crowd  of  strang- 
ers, clasp  her  in  my  arms,  bear  her  away  with  me  far 
from  the  world  into  a  desert — and  destiny  ordained 
that  the  moment  I  longed  for  her  most  fervently  was 
the  very  one  in  which  a  new  gulf  yawned  between  us. 
I  felt  an  emotion  of  mingled  terror  and  rage. 

She  returned,  waved  two  or  three  persons  aside, 
and  made  a  sign  to  the  musicians  in  the  orchestra, 
who  were  waiting  for  her  order  to  begin.  ^  At  the  mo 
ment  the  instruments  burst  forth  all  together,  we 
found  ourselves  face  to  face.  I  could  not  control 
myself  and  said  to  her  in  a  low  tone : 

"  Oh  !  how  beautiful  you  are,  my  darling.  I  love 
you,  I  love  you." 

"  Keep  out  of  the  way,  my  dear,  keep  out  of  the 
way." 

I  could  not  be  angry  with  her,  for  she  was  right ; 
but  the  words  pierced  my  heart  like  a  nail.  I  saw  a 
nobleman  of  the  time  of  Louis  XI.  with  an  aquiline 
nose,  flashing  eyes,  and  princely  bearing,  approach, 
offer  his  hand,  and  lead  her  to  a  place  in  the  quad- 
rille. Then  as  the  throng  crowded  around  the 
dancers,  I  was  elbowed  and  pushed  out  of  the  way, 
and  saw  nothing  but  the  backs  of  these  people  who 
were  smothering  each  other  to  look  at  my  wife. 

I  sat  down  in  a  window  corner,  for  I   was   bewil- 


138  B ABO  LAIN. 

dered ;  everything  was  swimming  before  my  eyes. 
Two  Swiss  girls,  with  their  hair  dressed  in  long  braids 
passed  by,  and  one  said  to  the  other : 

"  Let  us  go  away ;  we  ought  not  to  have  set  foot 
in  this  house." 

In  spite  of  my  agitation,  I  thought  I  recognized 
the  daughter  of  the  head  of  my  college.  I  also  saw 
confusedly  the  ladies'  coachman  and  footman  com- 
ing towards  me.  The  sight  restored  my  self-control ; 
I  wished  to  avoid  the  eyes  of  the  servants,  so  I  rose, 
and  gliding  through  the  midst  of  the  crowd,  not  with- 
out difficulty,  reached,  at  the  end  of  the  suite  of 
apartments,  a  small,  dimly-lighted  room  no  one  had 
yet  entered.  I  put  my  cane  in  a  corner,  sank  down 
upon  a  sofa,  and  gave  free  course  to  the  tears  that 
were  stifling  me. 

I  had  perhaps  been  there  a  long  time  when  I 
heard  the  sound  of  footsteps  behind  me ;  I  raised  my 
head,  and  in  the  opposite  mirror  saw  a  Charles  the 
First,  also  armed  with  a  large  cane  and  wearing  silver 
fringed  gloves.  He  seemed  overwhelmed  with  sor- 
row, and  I  should  have  taken  him  for  my  own  image, 
if  he  had  not  been  much  taller  than  I,  and  much  more 
robust  in  every  way.  We  greeted  each  other  with  a 
wan  smile,  and  Timol6on  for  it  was  he,  sat  down  be- 
side me  pressing  my  hand  affectionately. 

"  Have  you  seen  my  wife,  have  you  seen  her  ?  "  I 
said  with  an  emotion  I  could  not  control. 

"  I  noticed  her,  yes,  1  noticed  her  ?"  Strange,  his 
voice  trembled  almost  as  much  as  mine.  "  She  is 
having  an  immense  success.  There  were  so  many 
people  around  her  that  I  could  not  pay  my  compli- 
ments to  her.     It  is  a  magnificent  ball !  " 

We  remained  a  few  moments  without  uttering  a 
word,  both  gazing  at  the  figures  upon  the  carpet. 

"  You  know  all  those  people  yonder  ?  "  continued 
Timoluon  with  an  expression  of  anger  very  unusual 
to  him. 


BABOLAIN.  139 

"  Not  ten  persons,  my  friend,  and  you  ?  " 

"  No  more.  But  what  the  deuce  ? — you  are  at 
home,  why  aren't  you  in  the  drawing-room  ?  It  is  in- 
credible, and  extremely  indecorous.  Zounds,  you 
owe  it  to  yourself  to  do  the  honors,  to  see  what  is 
going  on  in  your  house — it  is  different  with  me  :  I 
came  here  to  sit  because  I  have  a  terrible  headache. 
And  then  your  wife  herself  received  me  in  a  very  dis- 
tant manner." 

"  You  must  not  be  angry  with  her,  you  know  she 
has  a  great  regard  for  you ;  but  at  such  a  time —  She 
is  lovely, isn't  she?  " 

"  Yes,  yes,  oh  !  yes." 

"  Perhaps  you  are  like  me,  you  think  her  too 
beautiful;  it  isn't  her  fault; but  after  all,  she  is  too 
beautiful.  If  you  had  seen  her  when  she  came  in  ! 
It  scorched  one's  eyes,  my  dear  Timoleon.  Every- 
body was  agitated,  I  saw  that — well,  what  I  experience 
is  a  selfish  feeling,  I  know,  but  I  can't  help  it ;  all  this 
causes  me  terrible  suffering ;  I  should  like — you  can't 
understand  what  I  feel — I  should  like  to  break  every- 
thing here." 

"  Calm  yourself,  my  good  little  old  man ;  the 
master  of  the  house  ought  not  to  get  into  such  states. 
Your  eyes  are  red,  you  are  as  white  as  a  pocket-hand- 
kerchief, and  you  have  lost  one  side  of  your  mus- 
tache." 

"  What  difference  does  it  make  ?  I  care  for  noth- 
ing, you  see,  nothing  but  her.  I  know  very  well  I 
have  none  of  the  qualities  necessary  to  please  her, 
but  I  love  her,  is  it  my  fault,  I  love  her  madly.  She 
might  have  chosen  a  more  unobtrusive  costume — " 

"  She  ought  to  have  done  so,  Babolain ;  upon  my 
honor  she  ought,  out  of  respect  for  herself  and  con- 
sideration for  you  ;  for  after  all,  she  bears  your  name, 
which  is  an  honorable  one.  There  is  no  getting 
over  that,  she  is  married." 

"  We  must  not  be  too  severe.     I  am  sure  she  did 


I40  B ABO  LAIN. 

not  intend  to  annoy  me.  She  has  the  imagination  of 
a  great  artist,  of  course ;  she  rushes  on  without  reflec- 
tion towards  what  seems  beautiful — the  illusion,  the 
enthusiasm  of  the  vision — but  at  heart  she  is  the 
purest  of  women; you  do  not  doubt  it  at  least,  my 
good  Timoleon,  you  do  not  doubt  it." 

*'  Pick  up  your  mustache,  there  it  is,  over  by  that 
foot-stool — you  enrage  me,  you  really  enrage  me  by 
your  absurd  mania  for  approving  of  everything.  No 
indeed,  it  isn't  enough  to  be  honest  at  heart,  appear- 
ances must  also  be  preserved.  To  how  many  evil 
suppositions,  injurious  interpretations,  may  not  your 
wife's  insane  conduct  have  given  rise  ?  It  is  the  whim 
of  a  spoiled  child,  an  artist's  fancy — is  that  what  you 
are  going  to  say  ?  " 

"  Exactly,  Timol6on,  that  is  what  I  wished  you  to 
observe." 

"  Well,  I  allow  the  wildest  caprices  and  follies,  but 
on  condition  that  people  shall  bear  these  consequen- 
ces alone.  Husband  and  wife  are  mutually  respon- 
sible for  each  other,  they  are  one  before  God  and 
man.  Are  marriage  bonds  a  mere  jest  .-•  Oh  !  Hea- 
vens !  " 

"  Calm  yourself,  I  beg  of  you  ;  your  friendship  for 
me  makes  you  exaggerate    matters   enormously." 

"  If  the  sacred  respect  for  family  ties  is  not  enough 
to  check  the  vagaries  of  the  imagination,  where 
will  they  stop  .-•  " 

"  Yes,  yes,  that  is  what  I  was  thinking; but  don't 
let  us  allow  ourselves  to  get  into  a  passion,  and  let 
us  try  to  analyze  all  this.  When  a  woman  is  more 
beautiful  than  others — " 

"  She  is  compelled  to  use  greater  care  to  keep  at 
a  distance — " 

**  The  impertinent  scoundrels  who — I  mean  what 
I  say — who  contaminate  her  with  their  gaze." 

"  Certainly.  She  ought  to  force  them  to  show  her 
the  respect  of  which  she  is  worthy." 


BABOLAIN.  141 

"  For  after  all,  Timol6on,  there  are  costumes  and 
costumes — it  is  the — I  don't  know  whether  you  have 
noticed,  it  is  the  waist  particularly  that — " 

"That  has  excited  your  indignation.  Oh!  my 
poor  little  old  man,  how  fully  I  understand  what  you 
must  have  suffered." 

"  I  know  perfectly  well  how  all  this  happened  : 
she  could  not  resist  the  pleasure  of  showing  her  beau- 
tiful arm  a  little,  and  then  by  degrees,  without  dream- 
ing of  any  harm — perhaps  she  did  not  think  people 
would  notice  her  so  much." 

"  You  are  absurd.  Did  she  put  on  that  wig  with 
the  golden  shades,  and  those  pearls,  by  accident? 
Did  she  paint  her  face  by  accident  ?  " 

"  Are  you  sure  she  has  painted  her  face  ?  Yet 
she  is  beautiful  enough  without  that.  Oh  !  God,  why, 
she  is  insane !  And  that  skirt  raised  on  the  hips. 
Did  you  notice  it,  Timol6on  ?  " 

"  Yes.  is  it  accident  again  that  raised  that  skirt? 
Listen  to  me,  Babolain,  believe  your  old  friend,  for 
our  acquaintance  is  not  a  thing  of  yesterday." 

"No,  indeed  ;"  said  I  warmly,  pressing  his  hands, 
"  it  is  not  a  thing  of  yesterday,  but  not  until  to-day 
did  I  know  all  the  goodness,  affection,  devotion  in 
your  heart.     You  are  my  friend,  my  only  friend." 

"  We  will  talk  of  that  another  time.  Now  be  a 
man,  go  back  into  the  drawing-rooms ;  your  place  is 
there,  and  not  here.  Zounds !  the  master  of  the  house 
must  not  hide  himself,  and  at  certain  times  the  hus- 
band should  appear." 

"  I  know  it,  Timoldon,  I  know  it,  but  see  how  ri- 
diculous I  am  in  this  dress." 

"  Well,  what  then  ?  If  any  one  has  the  ill-luck  to 
smile  when  he  sees  you,  spring  at  him  and  use  violent 
measures.  When  you  have  cuffed  one,  the  others  will 
be  submissive.  If  they  are  not,  I'll  take  charge  of 
them.     Come,  Babolain,  come  with  me." 

The   clock  in  the    Carmelite   convent   had  just 


142  BABOLAIN. 

Struck  six  in  the  morning,  everybody  had  gone,  and 
the  bluish  light  of  dawn,  entering  the  ball-room,  was 
struggling  with  the  yellow  rays  of  the  expiring  candles. 
The  flowers  and  plants,  drooping  and  withering,  hung 
their  heads  mournfully ;  several  tables  were  still  load- 
ed with  the  remains  of  the  supper.  Esther,  her  hair 
and  dress  in  disorder,  animated,  trembling  with  ex- 
citment,  more  beautiful  than  ever  with  her  paint  half 
brushed  off,  was  pacing  up  and  down  the  room.  I 
was  seated  on  the  end  of  a  bench  following  her  with 
my  gaze.  I  was  feverish,  and  my  eyes  were  burning. 
She  paused,  burst  into  a  gay  laugh,  poured  some 
champagne  into  a  glass,  and  raising  her  arm  high  into 
the  air,  while  the  strings  of  pearls  clashed  against 
each  other,  said  in  a  ringing  voice : 

"  Let  us  drink  to  Venice  the  beautiful.  Will  you, 
husband  mine  ? " 

I  swallowed  at  a  single  draught  the  contents  of  the 
cup  she  offered  me. 

"It  was  splendid,'*  she  continued,  "  confess  it  was 
splendid,  oh!  king  without  enthusiasm."  She  went 
towards  the  organ,  played  a  few  chords,  sang  two  or 
three  notes  at  the  top  of  her  voice,  and  turning  to- 
wards me,  said  :  "  Are  you  pleased  with  your  wife's 
success,  say,  king  of  England,  are  you  pleased  .''  I 
am  a  queen  too,  queen  of  beauty,  queen  of  painting; 
I  am  a  sovereign  in  the  world  of  art.  Behold  my 
transports  !  behold  my  triumphs  !  Ten  years  of  an 
obscure  life  for  ten  minutes  of  this  dazzling  reign  ! 
Did  you  see  how  they  all  looked  at  me  .-'  It  is 
a  fine  thing,  my  dear  husband,  to  attract  all  Paris 
to  one's  house  by  the  mere  prestige  of  one's  name 
and  genius ;  to  see  all  heads  bow,  lo  say  to  one's  self 
they  are  furious ;  Cirbec  is  foaming,  Prudent  de  la 
"^  Sarthe  and  the  others  are  ready  to  burst  with  rage, 
and  yet  they  bow  all  the  same.     Ha  1  ha  !  ha  !  " 

She  was  standing  very  near  me,  erect  and  motion- 
less.    I  took  the  bare  arm  that  hung  by  her  side  and 


BABOLAIN^.  143 

glued  my  lips  to  it ;  I  must  have  burned  her;  she  did 
not  seem  to  notice  it — but  I, who  for  hours  had  been 
longing  passionately  for  this  kiss,  trembled  from  head 
to  foot,  and  it  seemed  as  if  a  fire  was  suddenly  kind- 
led in  my  veins.  I  felt  I  was  going  to  share  the  en- 
thusiastic transports  of  the  adorable  wife  who  was  at 
last  mine  ;  1  was  alone  with  her,  the  agony  of  the 
evening  vanished  as  if  by  enchantment — with  infinite 
caution  I  passed  my  arm  around  her  waist,  and  mur- 
mured ; 

"  You  cannot  know  how  I  love  you,  my  Esther — 
my  darling,  I  have  been  very  miserable  all  this  even- 
ing." 

"  You  were  afraid  of  seeing  me  eclipsed,  weren't 
you?  There,  you  are  a  pretty  good  husband;  rather 
a  funny  king  of  England,  but  that  makes  no  differ- 
ence." 

I  kissed  her  again,  as  smiling  and  gazing  into  va- 
cancy, she  said  in  extremely  voluble  tones : 

"  Eclipse  me  !  oh  yes  !  You  saw  the  Polish  lady, 
and  the  two  Russians,and  the  little  Countess  de  Ripan- 
era,  and  all  the  others  with  their  real  diamonds — well 
come  and  compare  notes,  my  love  1  Mine  are  false, 
but  come  and  compare.  I  am  a  daughter  of  Venice, 
my  beauties,  ha !  ha  !  ha  !  " 

I  felt  wounded :  was  it  possible  that  my  wife,  the 
divine  creature  before  whom  every  head  bent,  had 
worn  false  diamonds  like  a  mere  actress,  a  common 
adventuress  !  Was  it  possible  this  great  artist  had 
cause  to  blush  !     My  honesty  revolted  at  the  thought. 

"Yes,  my  little  king,  you  know  very  well  they  are 
false.  Have  you  ever  bought  me  real  ones  ?  I  nev- 
er asked  you  for  any,  I  don't  ask  you  now." 

"  And  why  shouldn't  you  have  them  ?  These 
Polish  and  Russian  ladies  are  not  your  superiors,  my 
love — I  want  my  Esther  to  walk  with  head  erect,  I 
want  her  to  be  the  most  beautiful,  the  richest — bril- 
liant, worthy  of  admiration ;  I  want  no  one  to  be  able 


144  B ABO  LAIN, 

to  look  her  in  the  face  without  casting  down  his 
eyes." 

I  was  losing  my  self-control  entirely — I  was  intoxi- 
cated with  love,  and  any  words  seemed  fitting  to  ex- 
press my  transports. 

"  Who  is  so  worthy  to  wear  jewels  as  you  ?  " 

"  Don't  talk  so  foolishly  ;  you  don't  know  the  val- 
ue of  these  things  ;  the  smallest  diamond  riviere  is 
worth  twenty-five  or  thirty  thousand  francs." 

"  Well,"  I  had  no  longer  any  knowledge  of  reality  : 
"  If  you  want  that  sum  I  will  give  it  to  you,  you  know 
all  I  have  is  yours." 

She  suddenly  took  my  head  between  her  hands, 
and  embracing  me  with  a  sort  of  transport, cried: 

"  Do  you  want  me  to  adore  you  .''  " 

Then  she  resigned  herself  to  my  embrace. 


XIL 

Adore  me !  It  was  a  mere  form  of  speech  of 
course,  a  sort  of  affectionate  joke;  but  what  a  delight- 
ful way  of  joking  !  People  do  very  wrong  to  despair 
and  complain :  never  had  my  wife  shown  me  more 
real  kindness  and  affection  than  during  the  few  days 
that  followed  the  ball.  AVhen  I  brought  her  the  thirty 
thousand  francs  in  a  portfolio  lined  with  white  moire 
antique,  she  was  on  the  point  of  refusing  it.  It  was 
too  great  an  expense,  she  said,  the  folly  must  be  giv- 
en up — I  was  obliged  to  urge  her,and  almost  get  an- 
gry. She  had  an  excellent  heart  and  possessed  true 
solid  qualities. 

Towards  the  end  of  this  exceptional  week,  on  my 
return  from  college,  I  saw  Mme.  Paline,  dressed  in 
black  and  evidently  under  the  influence  of  some  vio- 
lent emotion.     She  was  waiting  for  me. 

"  My  dear  friend,"  said  she,  "  I  have  a  great  mis- 
fortune to  tell  you  ;  be  brave,  it  is  a  hard  blow  for 


BAB  OLA  IN.  145 

Esther  particularly,  poor  child.  Her  Despair  sus- 
tained by  Religious  Feeling  has  just  been  refused  ad- 
mittance to  the  Exhibition,  excluded,  cast  aside,  yes, 
cast  aside." 

"  What,  again  !  Those  two  figures  on  a  golden 
background  ?     Oh  !  " 

The  oh  !  was  uttered  without  indignation,  for  to 
tell  the  truth,  I  felt  a  sort  of  relief.  I  had  at  first 
feared  a  much  greater  misfortune.  "  It  is  incompre- 
hensible: refused  again !  and  at  the  very  time  when 
she  is  receiving  the  tribute  of  general  admiration." 

"  Yes,  it  is  an  academical  infamy.  See  to  what 
a  degree  of  meanness  jealousy  can  lead  these  im- 
becile, stupid  old  men."  After  a  short  silence  she 
continued  with  dignified  indifiTerence  :  "  I  must  also 
tell  you  something  of  which  you  are  probably  ignor- 
ant. Your  wife  has  been  in  a  delicate  situation 
about  six  months,  I  don't  know  whether — " 

The  sentence  was  scarcely  finished  when, spring- 
ing towards  Madame  Paline  and  clasping  her  in  my 
arms  without  the  least  caution,  I  covered  her  with 
kisses. 

"  Esther  about  to  become  a  mother,"  I  cried  ;"  oh  ! 
that  makes  amends  for  everything.  About  to  become 
a  mother  !     My  dear  mother — oh  God !  " 

"  Why,  son-in-law,  you're  losing  your  wits,  and 
— ^you  are  stifling  me,  you  are  certainly  crazy." 

"  What  happiness  !  My  darling,  my  Esther  !  Do 
you  know  whether  it  is  a  boy  or  a  girl  ? " 

And,  almost  in  spite  of  myself,  I  began  to  em- 
brace my  mother-in-law  again,  until,  red  with  anger, 
she  was  obliged  to  beg  me  to  go  away. 

Had  I  been  wrong  in  believing  in  the  future,  in 
the  joys  and  intimate  relations  of  family  life  t  I  had 
certainly  gone  through  some  sorrowful  scenes  in  the 
past,  but  what  delight  was  in  store  for  me. 

"  Where  is  Madame  ?  "  I  said  to  the  lady's  maid 
with  the  tone  of  a  major,  and  on  being  informed  that 
10 


146  B ABO  LAIN. 

Madame  was  in  the  studio,  hastily  entered.  Esther 
was  lying  upon  the  sofa  weeping,  with  her  face  hid- 
den in  her  hands.  I  ran  to  her,  and  taking  her  in 
my  arms  without  thinking  I  might  displease  her, 
cried  : 

"  Is  it  true,  my  Esther,  tell  me,  is  it  true  ?  " 

"  Yes  it  is  the  truth,  the  wretches,  the  cowards  !  " 
Her  little  hands  were  clenched  and  her  great  eyes 
flashed  with  an  expression  of  bitter  hatred.  "They 
won't  undertake  the  struggle  in  open  daylight,  the 
honest  struggle  in  wliich  they  know  very  well  they 
will  be  conquered.  Cirbec,  who  licks  their  feet,  has 
helped  to  deal  the  blow.  Cirbec,  a  mannerist,  a  flash 
in  the  pan,  a  coward  !  Ah  !  they  don't  fear  the  rude 
scrawlers,  the  brawlers  of  the  palette.  You  want  bal- 
derdash, gentlemen,  but  no !  I  will  not  yield.  You 
shall  have  war,  since  such  is  your  good  pleasure,  and 
a  terrible  war.  When  people  try  to  crush  me,  I  will 
defend  myself;  I  will  make  an  outcry.'' 

She  said  all  this  so  rapidly  that  it  was  impossible 
for  me  to  put  in  a  word. 

"  Of  course,"  said  I  as  calmly  as  possible,  "  of 
course  this  is  provoking,  my  darling; but  you  won't 
die  of  it  if  the  devil  is  in  it; and  these  gentlemen — " 

**  The  scoundrels  !  " 

"  That's  what  I  mean — these  scoundrels  will  not 
deprive  you  of  your  genius."  Then,  unable  to  help 
smiling,  for  my  heart  was  full  of  sunshine,  I  added  : 
"  What  your  mother  told  me — you  know  }  is  it  true  .''" 

*'  What  ?     What  did  mamma  tell  you  ?  " 

"  That  you  would  soon  be  a  mother." 

She  turned  her  head  away,  the  corners  of  her 
mouth  drooped,  the  pink  nostrils  of  her  little  nose 
dilated. 

"  Well  yes,  and  what  of  it  t  Ah  !  you  set  my 
teeth  on  edge,  you  drive  me  wild.  Go  away,  I  hate 
you.  Go  away,  you'll  give  me  a  nervous  attack."  She 
tossed  violently  on  the  sofa. 


BABOLAIN.  147 

"Pray  keep  quiet,  you  do  not  know  that  such 
movements  are  very  dangerous." 

Upon  ordinary  occasions  I  should  never  have 
spoken  to  her  with  so  much  authority  and  abruptness ; 
but  at  this  moment  I  had  extraordinary  courage. 

"  I  shall  be  calm  when  you  are  gone,"  she  mur- 
mured. 

"  Then  I'll  go  at  once.  The  least  imprudence 
may  entail  terrible  consequences." 

Nothing  could  divert  my  thoughts  from  the  new 
feeling  that  had  taken  possession  of  me.  One  would 
have  said  that  only  now  had  I  found  my  real  voca- 
tion. The  pivot  of  my  life  was  changed.  The  idea 
of  this  child,  whose  coming  colored  the  future  with 
unforeseen  tints,  pursued  me  everywhere.  I  talked 
about  it  to  everyone.  I  could  not  bridle  my  tongue, 
and  gradually  accustomed  myself  to  refer  all  my 
thoughts  and  actions  to  this  single  object. 

If  it  is  a  boy,  I  thought,  he  will  undoubtedly 
inherit  from  me  the  critical  judgment  and  gift  of  an- 
alysis which  are  my  only  peculiar  qualities.  His 
mother  will  transmit  to  him  that  power  of  idealiza- 
tion, that  artistic  penetration,which  elevates  the  char- 
acter, enables  one' to  generalize,  to  separate  the  prin- 
ciple and  law  from  amid  the  chaos  of  things  seen  in 
detail.  Moreover,  he  will  have  Esther's  beauty,  her 
admirable  ease  of  manner.  These  are  very  great  ad- 
vantages in  life.  Now,  gifted  in  this  way,  a  scientific 
career  will  naturally  offer  itself  to  him  :  he  will  enter 
the  university,  but  with  great  ease  ;  his  mother's  cel- 
ebrity will  procure  interest  for  him.  Then  by  a  stroke 
of  genius  he  will  spring  into  the  realm  of  pure  sci- 
ence :  a  discover}',  a  book,  will  place  his  talent  be- 
yond question.  He  will  execute  the  great  task  of 
which  I  have  dreamed  ;  I  will  give  him  my  advice  if 
he  asks  for  it,  which  is  by  no  means  certain, — for  of 
course  he  must  consider  me  a  dunce.  Ah!  I  won't 
be  angry  with  you,  my  dear  boy,  what  does  it  matter  1 


148  BABOLAIN. 

I  shall  enjoy  your  triumphs,  I  shall  be  your  father, 
that  title  cannot  be  taken  away  from  me.  Some  fine 
learned  name,  which  would  look  well  in  print,  must 
be  found  for  him.     But  suppose  it  was  a  daughter. 

This  thought  troubled  me  greatly.  Not  that  I 
was  less  disposed  to  love  her  than  her  brother, — but 
she, like  her  mother,  would  need  surroundings  worthy 
of  her,  rich  luxurious  surroundings,  and  afterwards  a 
large  dowry.  Why  had  I  not  understood  that  it  was 
my  duty  to  transmit  my  uncle  Babolain's  fortune,  of 
which  I  was  only  the  trustee,  intact  to  my  daughter  ? 
I  had  committed  more  than  an  error,  a  positive 
crime.  I  ought  to  have  checked  the  ladies  in  their 
extravagance,  they  would  have  understood  all  this, 
would  have  commended  me,  thanked  me  afterwards. 

From  this  time  a  passion  for  economy  took  pos- 
session of  me.  I  bought  a  large  account-book,  and 
began  to  calculate  ;  but  at  the  same  time  that  I  as- 
certained the  enormous  breach  that  had  been  made 
in  my  fortune,  I  perceived  it  was  impossible  for  me 
to  lessen  my  personal  expenses.  My  daughter's  fate 
was  therefore  entirely  in  the  hands  of  the  ladies  ; 
how  was  I  to  impose  upon  them  another  style  of  liv- 
ing ?  I  felt  that  I  was  mean-spirited.  Especially  at 
this  time,  when  they  were  greatly  agitated  in  the 
midst  of  a  violent  conflict,  how  could  I  speak  to  them 
of  the  thousand  petty  details,  the  thousand  necessary 
reforms  prudence  and  economy  required !  It  was 
with  difficulty  that  I  could  say  a  word  to  my  wife. 
The  young  fiery  Tambergeac,  art  critic  for  La  Ferme 
Modele,  now  spent  whole  days  in  the  Rue  Vaugirard. 
Thanks  to  his  merciless  pen,  a  most  violent  article 
had  been  issued  against  the  Institute;  my  wife's  name 
had  been  made  prominent;  the  outrage  of  which  she 
had  been  the  victim  had  served  as  a  text  for  the  ar- 
raignment of  these  "gentlemen  of  the  Font  des  Arts.'^ 
People  met  at  Esther's  house  at  appointed 
hours,  disputed  eagerly  together,  and  made  plans  for 


BABOLAIN.  149 

the  campaign,  for  the  question  had  gradually  assumed 
large  proportions.  The  matter  was  no  longer  con- 
fined to  mere  conversations  between  a  few  discon- 
tented people,  but  had  increased  to  eager  discussions 
in  which  the  future  of  French  art  was  directly  con- 
cerned, and  whose  avowed  object  was  the  downfall 
of  the  Institute.  This  was  severe,  but  apparently 
just.  Several  bearded  painters,  warm  partisans  of  a 
radical  revolution  in  the  world  of  art,  had  been  in- 
troduced by  the  indefatigable  Tambergeac,  who,  pet- 
ted and  flattered,  had  his  plate  at  the  table,  and  a 
cushion  under  his  feet.  Was  it  a  measure  in  behalf 
of  neatness,  or  a  proof  of  the  great  esteem  in  which 
he  was  held  ? 

In  the  centre  of  the  largest  drawing-room  was  an 
immense  table  covered  with  papers  and  pens,  wafers 
enamelled  the  carpet,  and  the  furniture  was  loaded 
with  newspapers.  It  was  evident  that  the  ladies  were 
at  the  head  of  a  formidable  party  which  would  stick 
at  nothing.  Esther  bought  a  bell  with  an  ivory  han- 
dle, and  tried  to  draw  up  a  memorial  which  that  con- 
founded Tambergeac  was  to  sign.  Every  evening 
when,  after  my  day's  work  was  done,  I  found  myself 
in  this  club,  surrounded  by  eager,  excited  people 
shouting  themselves  hoarse;!  fancied  myself  under  the 
influence  of  some  nightmare.  I  approached  my  wife 
and  said  softly  : 

"You  are  heating  your  blood,  my  love;  you  are 
scorching  your  poor  blood.  In  your  situation — be- 
sides, my  darling,  you  should  be  attending  to  the 
little  one's  wardrobe." 

"  What,  do  you  advise  the  soldier  to  abandon  his 
post,  to  desert  in  the  presence  of  the  enemy  ?  " 

"  No,  no,  but  you  will  soon  be  ill,  and — " 

"  Are  not  we,  I  and  my  friends,  the  defenders,  the 
true  soldiers  of  the  holiest  cause  ?  Is  it  not  insulting 
Divinity  itself  to  deny  high  art,  or  oppose  its  free  de- 
velopment ?     Is  it  necessary  to  give  you  proofs,  to 


1 50  BABOLAIN. 

quote  texts  ?  In  the  moral  life  of  a  nation,  every- 
thing is  mutually  dependent,  is  linked  together. 
What  is,  I  ask  you,  this  tumult  which  shakes  the 
throne  ?  " 

"You  have  undertaken  a  mission  full  of  nobility 
and  grandeur,  I  am  sure,  though  I  have  never  studied 
these  questions." 

"  Then  hush  !  Our  conflict  has  for  its  object  the 
triumph  of  the  soul  over  matter,  and  if  it  was  possi- 
ble for  you,  who  have  no  faith,  to  understand  the  fatal 
consequences  of  religious  indifference — " 

"  Yes,  I  know,  but  you  are  heating  your  blood. 
Children  have  been  born  with  the  germs  of  disease 
because  the  mother  heated  her  blood.  And  then 
you  see,"  added  I  timidly,  "  perhaps  it  is  not  God's 
will  that  the  Institute  skould  be  reduced  to  powder." 

"  Do  you  not  know  that  your  jest  is  sacrilege  ?  " 

"In  this  respect,"  said  Mme.  Paline,  "lam  en- 
tirely of  your  opinion,  my  child.  .  Your  husband's 
words  are  indecorous  in  the  last  degree  ;  but  on  the 
other  hand,  I  think  you  and  your  friends,  as  you 
doubtless  ironically  call  them,  are  embarking  upon 
a  democratic  career  which  I  confess  is  repulsive  to 
my  instincts.  Besides,  all  these  people  who  come 
here  are  indisputably  slovenly." 

Esther  took  too  much  pleasure  in  launching  thun- 
derbolts at  the  wretched  Academy  under  Tamber- 
geac's  name  to  calm  down  immediately.  Thanks 
to  my  wife's  niore  and  more  violent  attacks,  the 
Ferme  Modele  attracted  so  much  attention  that  its 
fiery  critic  came  to  the  house  one  night  with  a  band- 
age around  his  head,  a  compress  over  his  eye,  and 
one  hand  in  his  vest.  The  night  before  he  had  re- 
ceived two  severe  blows  and  several  strokes  from  a 
cane  from  a  son  of  a  member  of  the  Academy,  who 
had  been  especially  insulted  by  Esther. 

"  My  dear  friend,"  cried  my  wife,  taking  the 
wounded  man's  hand,  ''  you  have  a  noble  heart ;  you 


BABOLAIN.  1 5"l 

are  my  only  friend,  and  I  will  avenge  you  :  hand  me  a 
pen." 

In  these  words  the  generosity  of  her  enthusiastic 
nature  was  depicted  in  all  its  completeness.  The 
young  critic  expressed  his  gratitude  to  the  best  of  his 
ability,  but  gave  her  to  understand  that  he  was  power- 
less to  struggle  against  the  determination  of  his  edi- 
tor— to  give  up  all  literary  and  artistic  polemics.  The 
meeting  at  Poissy  was  about  to  commence,  and  the 
Ferme  Alodele  must  devote  itself  entirely  to  the  special 
study  of  cattle  raising.  It  was  certainly  a  great  dis- 
appointment, but  I  was  delighted. 

*'  Wouldn't  this  be  the  right  time  to  attend  to  the 
clothes  ?  "  I  ventured  to  say,  rubbing  my  hands. 

I  did  wrong  to  show  my  satisfaction  so  openly. 

Two  or  three  days  after,  about  eight  o'clock  in  the 
evening,  my  dear  good  wife  gave  birth  to  a  beautiful 
little  girl.  It  is  impossible  to  describe  how  charming 
the  child  was  !  I  wept,  I  laughed,  I  hugged  every- 
body— I  even  shook  hands  with  the  coachman,  ad- 
dressing him  as  my  friend.  Suddenly  it  was  discov- 
ered that  my  daughter  was  entirely  destitute  of  cloth- 
ing, and,  for  the  time  being,  they  wrapped  her  in 
napkins.  The  following  morning  I  entered  the 
ladies'  carriage  and  drove  to  a  linen  draper's,  whom 
I  was  obliged  to  rouse.  On  the  way  I  could  not  help 
singing,  sat  first  on  one  side  and  then  on  the  other,  and 
it  seemed  as  if  my  delight  could  not  escape  the  notice 
of  any  one.  The  passers-by  must  be  saying  to  them- 
selves :  "  Look,  there's  Monsieur  Babolain,  professor 
of  mathematics,  whose  wife  has  just  presented  him 
with  a  little  daughter." 

'*  Mademoiselle,"  said  I  to  the  shop-woman,  "  pray 
make  haste ;  my  little  girl  has  absolutely  nothing  to 
wear.  Thank  you, Mademoiselle  ;  I  haven't  time  to 
sit  down.     We  were  taken  by  surprise." 

"  Such  things  sometimes  happen." 

"  Indeed  !     Please  give  me  the  best  of  everything. 


152  BABOLAIN. 

There  was  nothing  to  make  us  suppose  they  would 
be  needed  so  soon.  Did  I  tell  you  it  was  a  girl  ?  Oh  ! 
give  me  whatever  you  choose." 

One  thing  after  another  was  piled  into  the  car- 
riage, which  was  seon  full :  embroidered  bands,  cash- 
mere shirts,  wonderful  leading  strings,  hats  with 
feathers,  etc.  While  returning  to  the  Rue  Vaugirard 
I  tossed  over  these  pretty  things,  smoothing  Ihe 
hats  and  kissing  the  caps,  in  which  I  fancied  I  saw  my 
little  girl. 

"  It  is  impossible  to  make  a  more  absurd  selec- 
tion," said  my  mother-in-law  at  once.  I  could  not 
help  laughing,  I  was  so  happy.  "  Are  you  not  afraid," 
continued  Mme.  Paline,  turning  to  the  doctor,  "  are 
you  not  afraid  my  son-in-law  is  attacked  by  some  bad 
fever  ?     He  bewilders  mp." 

"  We'll  see  about  that  by  and  by,"  he  answered 
laughing.  "Just  now  the  most  pressing  necessity  is 
to  have  a  nurse,  and  I  am  going  to  choose  one." 

"  I'll  go  too,"  said  I.  "  Two  are  not  too  many  to 
make  such  a  selection,  and  besides,  I  am  something 
of  a  physiognomist." 

"  Very  well,  come.  Is  your  carriage  at  the  door  ? 
And  besides,  between  ourselves,  the  patient  needs 
rest." 

I  perceived  that  he  was  not  sorry  to  take  me 
away  ;  in  the  outburst  of  my  joy  I  must  have  made 
an  intolerable  bustle  ever  since  the  night  before. 
When  we  were  alone  in  the  carriage  I  said : 

"  Doctor,  I  want  to  thank  you  for  what  you  have 
done  for  me.  You  are  an  excellent  man,  my  friend, 
my  dear  friend — I  beg  your  pardon,  but  I  can't  help 
calling  you  my  friend.  You  must  excuse  me  ;  I  am 
really  intoxicated  with  joy." 

"  That  is  perfectly  natural.  It  is  unusual  to  have 
so  little  cause  for  anxiety  on  the  birth  of  a  first 
child." 

"  That  is   true ;   it  is  my  Esther's  first  child ;   I 


BABOLAIN.  153 

didn't  think  of  that.  My  head  is  turned  inside  out. 
Let  me  shake  hands  with  you,  doctor.  I  am  more 
agitated  than  any  one  else  would  be,  because  I  have 
more  reason  to  rejoice  that  an  indissoluble  sacred 
bond  has  come  to  sanction  our  uj;iion  :  you  are  not 
ignorant  that  my  wife  is  a  great  artist :  she  has  re- 
fined tastes,  noble  aspirations.  The  mother  and 
daughter  are  both,  I  may  be  permitted  to  say,  most 
admirable  characters.  As  for  me,  I  am  thoroughly 
commonplace  ;  I  am  talking  to  you  with  brotherly 
frankness,  doctor.  Ha  !  ha  !  ha !  When  the  mind 
has  long  been  habituated  to  exact  analysis,  it  is  diffi- 
cult for  it  to  enter  the  kingdom  of  imagination,  so 
that — in  short,  the  first  days  of  our  married  life 
were,  I  must  confess,  somewhat  painful  —  I  had 
been  as  poor  as  Job  all  my  youth —  And  stay, 
this  is  a  very  natural,  very  curious  thing :  now  that 
another  horizon  is  open  before  me,  now  that  the 
future  smiles  upon  me,  I  feel  an  indefinable  joy  in  re- 
calling the  sorrows — the  little  sorrows,  of  course,  of 
the—" 

Suddenly  I  let  down  the  front  window  and  pulled 
the  coachman's  coat.  I  had  just  seen  my  friend  Tim- 
ol6on,  looking  grave,  pale,  and  careworn,  and  no 
longer  walking  with  his  usual  haughty  air. 

"  Do  you  know  the  news,  my  dear  old  friend  ? " 
I  said  as  he  approached. 

"  Yes,  Babolain,  yes,  I  know  it.  Heaven  has 
blessed  your  union  by  sending  this  little  angel.  I  will 
pray  for  you  all ;  I  will  try  to  pray." 

"What!  you  don't  rejoice?  \Vhat  is  the  matter, 
my  dear  Timol6on,  what  is  the  matter  ?  Come  and 
choose  a  nurse  with  us." 

"  No,  no,  Tm  in  a  hurry ;  good  bye."  And  he 
went  away. 

"  Doctor,  I'm  very  much  afraid  my  friend  may  be 
seriously  ill ;  I've  already  noticed  that  he  has  been 
very  much  changed  for  some  time — I  was  telling  you 


1 54  BABOLAIN. 

that  I  was  as  poor  as  Job  when  my  uncle,  who  lived 
in  Beaugency — " 

"  Here  we  are  at  the  Place  de  I'Estrapade  :  let  us 
get  out,  the  office  is  here.  It  is  settled  that  you  are 
one  of  my  colleagues." 

We  entered  a  small  room  with  a  low  ceiling,  per- 
vaded with  a  very  strange  heavy  odor.  A  clock  made 
of  shell  work  stood  upon  the  mantel-piece,  and  on 
the  wall  hung  two  framed  engravings;  Napoleon  at 
Saint  Helena,  and  Joan  of  Arc  in  a  cuirass. 

A  fat  lady  in  a  plaid  dress,  whom  one  would  have 
taken  for  some  old  corporal  of  dragoons  retired  on 
half  pay  on  account  of  too  great  obesity,  appeared, 
rang  a  bell,  and  eight  or  ten  nurses  carrying  their 
babies  entered  and  stood  ranged  in  a  semicircle. 
The  examination  was  conscientious.  The  milk  gushed 
forth  under  the  doctor's  hands  in  long  white  streams 
that  at  first  nearly  reached  me. 

One  of  the  nurses  having  been  selected,  the  poor 
woman  urgently  requested  that  her  trunk  should  be 
sent  to  her  new  master's  address,  gave  her  child  a 
last  embrace,  and  entered  the  carriage,  where  we 
found  ourselves  alone  together,  the  doctor  having 
been  compelled  to  leave  us  and  continue  his  rounds. 

"  Take  the  back  seat,  my  good  nurse,"  said  I, 
"  and  beware  of  the  draughts.  You  are  not  cold  ? 
Wait,  I'll  raise  the  window  ;  it's  always  safer —  And 
now  let  us  make  haste." 

It  seemed  as  if  my  daughter  must  find  the  time 
very  long  and  begin  to  be  impatient.  When  the 
nurse  was  seated  in  the  back  of  the  carriage  she 
raised  her  apron,  felt  for  her  pocket,  and  having- 
drawn  out  a  huge  blue  and  yellow  plaid  handker- 
chief, wiped  her  eyes  with  the  extreme  edge  of  one 
corner  without  unfolding  it,  and  uttered  a  heavy 
sigh. 

"  Why  do  you  cry  ?  "  I  said  sympalhizingly.  "  Were 
you  sorry  to  come  with  me." 


BABOLAIN.  155 

"The  child  was  very  fond  of  me;  it  makes  me 
feel  bad  all  the  same." 

I  was  very  much  touched  by  the  simple  words. 

How  had  egotism  been  able  to  blind  me  so  far  as 
to  make  me  forget  that  this  poor  woman  was  a  moth- 
er, and  I  had  just  torn  her  child  from  her  !  Why 
should  the  peasant's  son  be  sacrificed  to  the  profes- 
sor's daughter  ?  Is  it  possible  that  the  world  contains 
creatures  poor-spirited  enough  to  be  able  to  love 
their  children  only  when  at  a  distance  from  them  ! 
And  I  am  making  myself  an  accomplice  of  this  social 
monstrosity!  The  nurse  gained  such  grand,moral 
proportions  in  my  eyes  that  I  said,  with  a  shade  of 
respectful  embarrassment : 

"  Madame,  pray  believe  that  I  understand  what 
you  must  suffer,  and  I  assure  you  shall  always  feel 
the  truest,  the  most  sincere  gratitude  for  the  service 
you  are  about  to  do  me." 

She  removed  her  handkerchief  and  looked  me 
steadily  in  the  face. 

"  Ah  !  I  know  very  well,  my  good  friend,"  I  con- 
tinued, "  that  such  sacrifices  cannot  be  repaid  with 
money."  She  moved  restlessly  to  and  fro  on  the 
cushions  of  the  carriage,  and  answered  in  a  very  en- 
ergetic tone : 

"  Then  I  shall  go  back  to  the  office.  Why  did 
you  say  twenty  crowns  a  month  t  Before  everybody, 
too  !  Twenty  crowns  with  sugar  and  coffee — I've 
got  witnesses.  Tell  your  man  to  drive  back  to  the 
office." 

"  You  misunderstand  my — " 

"  What  are  you  talking  about  ?  I  don't  like 
double-faced  people — I've  got  witnesses." 

"  My  meaning,  my  good  friend,  and  your  supposi- 
tions hurt  my  feelings." 

"  When  have  I  hurt  your  feelings  ?  When  have 
I  done  you  any  harm  ?  Come,  I  want  to  go  back 
to  the  office.     When  one  has  milk  —  what  did  the 


1 56  BABOLAIN. 

doctor  call  it  ? — '  Savory  milk  '  he  said^that's  the 
very  first  quality,  and  when  a  body  has  such  milk 
as  that,  there's  not  much  trouble  in  getting  one's 
twenty  crowns  with  sugar  and  coffee." 

"  But  I'll  give  you  twenty-five,  my  good  friend. 
You  see  you  misunderstand  me.  And  I  promise  you 
as  much  more  in  presents.  I  shan't  be  ungrateful,  I 
assure  you." 

The  worthy  woman  still  gazed  at  me  with  increas- 
ing astonishment.  Then  suddenly  mollified,  she  mur- 
mured in  a  low  tone,  in  which  a  slight  shade  of  dis- 
trust still  lingered  : 

"  Then  why  did  Monsieur  use  so  many  words  ?  " 

She  was  right,  but  I  had  intended  to  act  for  the 
best. 


XIII. 

I  was  the  happiest  of  men :  my  little  Valentine — 
this  was  my  daughter's  name — had  welcomed  her 
nurse  Marianne  with  an  excellent  appetite,  and 
the  good  woman  confessed  that  she  was  very  com- 
fortably settled.  Mme.  Paline  was  extremely  kind 
to  me.  As  for  my  Esther,  she  recovered  rapidly,  and 
I  must  say  that  she  had  never  been  more  beautiful. 
Enveloped  in  clouds  of  muslin  and  lace,  she  had  al- 
ready received  a  number  of  visits,  and  was  inspired 
with  a  most  ardent  affection  for  her  daughter.  She 
had  her  brought  to  her  from  morning  till  night,  cov- 
ered her  with  knots  of  ribbon,  and  actually  wanted 
to  curl  the  few  hairs  on  the  back  of  the  little  one's 
head. 

I  wasted  a  few  days  in  enjoying  the  pleasure  of 
looking  at  her,  but  the  feeling  of  duty  soon  returned 
and  I  resumed  my  heavy  toil  with  ardor.  It  was 
more  necessary  to  earn  money  than  ever.  I  ar- 
ranged a  sort  of  class  which  enabled  me  to  give  six  or 


BABOLAIN.  157 

eight  lessons  in  a  single  hour.  Moreover,  having 
heard  that  an  editor,  then  very  enterprising,  intend- 
ed to  publish  a  sort  of  scientific  dictionary,  I  offered 
to  perform  a  portion  of  this  great  work.  What  would 
I  not  have  done  to  make  good  the  money  losses  I 
had  suffered,  and  gain  a  dowry  for  my  little  daughter  } 
From  time  to  time  my  pride  awoke,  and  I  said  to 
myself,  *  I  might  have  been  a  man  of  learning,  entered 
the  Institute,  earned  honors,  titles,  left  a  noble  work 
to  posterity ;  and  here  I  am  reduced  to  trade  in  sci- 
ence'— I  was  foolish,  for  after  all,  is  it  not  as  honora- 
ble to  be  a  good  father  as  a  great  scholar  ?  Was 
not  my  little  Valentine  the  most  beautiful  of  all  works  ? 
and  what  would  my  titles,  my  learning,  matter  to  her 
by  and  by  ?  Would  she  love  me  the  more  for  them  ? 
Certainly  not. 

Meantime  the  labor  spent  upon  the  dictionary,  to 
which  I  devoted  my  evenings  after  the  well-filled  days 
were  over,  and  which  I  often  prolonged  far  into  the 
night,  fatigued  me  terribly.  I  had  fits  of  dizziness 
that  greatly  troubled  me,  and  felt  pains  in  my  chest 
which  alarmed  me.  What  would  happen  if  illness 
compelled  me  to  rest  ?  Meantime,  in  the  midst  of 
my  toil,  I  committed  the  error  of  leaving  the  ladies 
very  much  alone  and  neglecting  myself.  "  You  are 
growing  slovenly,"  said  Madame  Paline.  And  in- 
deed she  was  right :  my  clothes  were  more  worn  than 
was  proper.  I  heedlessly  came  in  without  a  cra- 
vat, and  forgot  to  shave.  Without  being  aware  of  it, 
absorbed  as  I  was  in  my  work,  I  gradually  fell  into 
the  habit  of  living  away  from  my  family.  I  break- 
fasted in  a  modest  little  restaurant  not  two  paces 
from  the  college,  that  I  might  lose  no  time  ;  aqd  rqy 
classes  frequently  would  not  allow  me  to  return  to 
dinner.  The  ladies  on  their  side,  overwhelmed  by 
the  thousand  occupations  celebrity  entails,  vyere  rare- 
ly at  home. 

Matters  were  in  this  condition  when,  one  Sunday 


158  BABOLAIJSr. 

after  breakfast — we  happened  to  be  all  assembled  in 
the  same  room — a  little  man  with  a  hooked  nose  was 
announced  by  the  name  of  Isaac.  He  had,  in  fact, 
all  the  external  characteristics  which  distinguish  an 
Israelite. 

"  Madame,"  said  he,  casting  an  inquisitive  glance 
around  the  apartment,  *•  I'll  go  straight  to  the  point, 
as  one  ought  to  do  in  addressing  an  artist  of  your  tal- 
ent. I  should  be  glad  to  enter  into  business  rela- 
tions with  you,  and  have  come  to  inquire  what  price 
you  ask  for  your  last  picture.  Despair  pursued 
by—by—'' 

"  Sustained  by  Religious  Feeling." 

"Yes,  Madame,  exactly.  The  painting  possesses 
very  superior  qualities,  a  pure  elevated  style.  Please 
tell  me  your  price." 

I  was  not  surprised  by  this  proposal,  I  was  con- 
vinced that  sooner  or  later  fortune  and  fame  would 
reward  Esther  for  her  efforts  ;  but  I  was  very  glad,  for 
I  was  always  thinking  of  Valentine's  dowry.  Mad- 
ame Paline,  seeing  that  my  wife  hesitated,  answered : 

"  You  are  rather  late,  Monsieur  ;  my  daughter 
has  already  refused  several  offers  for  this  picture 
which  has  made  quite  a  sensation,  and  I  should  be 
the  first  to  use  my  influence  over  her  to  prevent  her 
disposing  of  it  for  less  than  three  thousand  francs." 
I  was  entirely  ignorant  that  such  offers  had  already 
been  made  for  Esther's  painting.  Monsieur  Isaac 
did  not  seem  surprised. 

"  I  don't  think  the  amateur  whose  agent  I  am  will 
be  deterred  by  that  sum.     You  say — " 

"  I  say  three  thousand  five  hundred  francs  with- 
out the  frame,"  replied  Mme.  Paline  with  dignified 
firmness. 

"  I  misunderstood  you" — I  had  also  misunderstood 
— "  however,  in  concluding  this  matter,  there  is  one 
little  condition  to  which  my  patron  attached  a  cer- 
tain degree  of  importance  :  M.  le  Comte  de    Vaugirau 


BABOLAIN.  1 59 

— I  have  no  special  motive  for  concealing  his  name — 
would  like  to  have  Mme.  Esther  de  Martignac  •' — I 
always  felt  a  positive  pang  when  I  heard  my  wife 
called  by  her  artist's  name — "  promise  to  reserve  for 
him,  on  conditions  she  will  mention  herself,  the  three 
pictures  most  nearly  completed." 

"  I  will  think  of  it,"  said  my  wife. 

"  But  it  would  be  much  easier,  my  child,  if  the 
Comte  de  Vaugirau  would,  visit  your  studio.  You 
have  a  number  of  very  beautiful  sketches,  a  number 
of  partially  finished  pictures." 

The  Jew  highly  approved  of  my  mother-in-law's 
suggestion,  and  everybody  was  satisfied. 

This  visit  had  considerable  influence  over  the  la- 
dies' mode  of  life.  From  this  day  forth,  I  saw  scat- 
tered through  the  suite  of  apartments  in  every  direc- 
tion, canvasses  signed  in  large  characters  and  cover- 
ed with  sketches  whose  boldness  was  really  remark- 
able. How  could  any  imagination  be  fruitful  enough 
for  all  these  productions  .''  Once,  in  the  courtyard,  I 
received  a  bow  from  M.  le  Comte,  who  was  just  get- 
ting into  his  carriage  which  was  loaded  with  my  wife's 
sketches.  This  passionate  lover  of  pictures  was  tall, 
wore  long  moustaches  curled  up  at  the  ends,  and  his 
whole  bearing  was  distinguished  by  an  air  of  aristo- 
cratic elegance.  The  members  of  my  family  were 
never  weary  of  praising  the  generosity  of  his  conduct. 
I  was  even  shown  a  wonderful  box  in  which  he  had 
given  Esther  the  price  of  her  last  pictures. 

Unfortunately,  I  became  more  and  more  absorb- 
ed in  my  work ;  but  I  saw  clearly  that  my  wife,  sur- 
rounded by  homage  andsuccess,  was  giving  herself  up 
rather  too  much  to  the  happiness  of  making  herself 
admired.  I  could  not  reproach  her  ;  after  all,  it  was  a 
very  natural  weakness.  She  had  won  her  reputation 
at  the  sword's  point,  it  would  have  been  pitiful  for 
me  to  be  surprised  that  she  was  a  little  proud  of  it. 

One  thing  caused  me  deep  sorrow :  just  in  pro- 


l60  BABOLAIN. 

portion  as,  rising  above  prejudices,  she  accepted  the 
sometimes  singular  expression  of  a  worship  of  which 
she  was  worthy,  the  memory  of  the  past  seemed  to  be- 
come unendurable  to  her. 

She  took  very  little  notice  of  her  daughter,  and  I 
guessed  from  trifles  that  my  presence  irritated  her 
more  than  ever.  One  would  have  said  that  by  ex- 
cluding me  from  their  life,  into  which  however  I  had 
neither  time  nor  skill  to  enter,  they  wished  to  free 
themselves  from  an  intolerable  yoke. 

It  happened  that  the  room  in  which  my  wife  work- 
ed became  too  small,  and  I  was  told  it  was  absolute- 
ly necessary  to  hire  a  studio,  somewhat  expensive,  it 
is  true,  but  very  large  and  light,  in  the  neighborhood 
of  the  Quai. 

I  had  the  courage  to  interpose  and  speak  of 
economy.  "  Perhaps  the  great  drawing-room  might 
do,"  I  suggested. 

"  Why,  don't  you  understand,"  replied  Mme.  Pa- 
line  very  dryly,  "  don't  you  understand  that  all  hard 
labor  is  impossible  in  the  neighborhood  of  a  crying 
child  ?  " 

Yet  my  little  Valentine  seldom  cried  ;  it  was  im- 
possible to  find  a  better  or  a  prettier  child  of  her 
age.  Still,  my  mother-in-law  might  be  right.  My 
wife's  incessant  labor  was  different  from  mine,  and 
required  complete  freedom  from  interruption.  She 
loved  Valentine  in  a  different  way,  better  than  I  did, 
perhaps  ;  if  she  had  not  worshipped  her,  would  she 
have  toiled  with  such  ardor  to  secure  her  future? 
Did  not  her  etTorts  replace  the  caresses  she  had  no 
time  to  give  her  ?  Poor  Esther!  Can  one  have  a 
great  intellect  without  also  having  a  large  heart  ?  My 
dear  wife  tells  me  nothing,  says  nothing  about  her 
business  matters :    she  has  the  modesty  of  heroism. 

"  If  I  have  spoken  of  economy,"  I  added,  "  it  is 
because  I  am  always  thinking  of  our  little  girl." 

"  And  of  yourself  too,"  replied  my  mother-in-law. 


BABOLAIN.  l6l 

"  But  don't  be  afraid.  When  you  married  my  daugh- 
ter your  instincts  did  not  deceive  you,  it  is  an  excel- 
lent thing ;  and  if  you  were  ruined,  you  may  be  sure 
you  won't  be  allowed  to  starve." 

She  said  this  with  such  a  strange  smile  that  I  did 
not  exactly  understand  her. 

"  What  do  you  mean  ?  "  said  I. 

"  I  ?  nothing ;  I  am  joking.  Good  bye,  I  must 
go  out." 

It  was  not  until  afterwards  that  these  words  and 
many  others  recurred  to  my  mind,  and  it  became  evi- 
dent that  my  presence  had  made  them  suffer  terribly 
for  a  long  time.  Alas  !  how  could  I  have  perceived 
it .''  They  suddenly  began  to  pay  me  most  unusual 
attentions.  Seeing  that  I  was  suffering  from  weak 
eyes  and  a  pain  in  the  chest  caused  by  the  excessive 
amount  of  work  I  was  compelled  to  accomplish,  they 
said  a  thousand  kind  words  to  me.  One  day,  when 
they  were  going  out  in  the  carriage  to  dine  in  the  city, 
I  heard  Esther  say  to  the  cook:  "Remember  that 
your  master  does  not  like  his  meat  well  done,  and  see 
that  the  dinner  is  good."  These  attentions,  to  which 
I  had  never  been  accustomed,  made  my  eyes  fill  with 
tears. 

Besides,  I  was  more  in  love  with  my  wife  than 
ever.  When  she  went  out  I  lay  in  wait  to  see  her, 
cautiously  drawing  the  little  curtains  back  from  the 
window  to  admire  her  at  my  ease.  Her  beauty  had 
increased  wonderfully  of  late :  I  was  awed  by  it ; 
she  now  seemed  to  exceed  all  ordinary  bounds :  a 
slight  degree  of  embonpoint  gave  her  whole  figure  a 
fullness  and  dignity  whose  charm  was  irresistible  ;  be- 
sides she  had  suddenly  acquired  a  new  and  won- 
derful art  of  dressing.  I  did  not  know  how  to  ex- 
press the  admiration  all  this  inspired ;  but  she,  an- 
ticipating my  remarks,  kindly  explained  how  sim- 
ple and  economical  the  toilettes  I  thought  regal 
really  were.      She    had  purchased  such  and   such 


1 62  B  ABO  LAIN-. 

lace  for  almost  nothing,  thanks  to  an  exceptional  op- 
portunity;  and  the  jewels,  the  precious  stones,  the 
cameos,  in  which  she  daily  appeared,  had  been 
bought  under  similar  circumstances.  In  short,  by  all 
the  little  confidences  she  bestowed  upon  me,  I  was 
convinced  that  she  was  acting  like  a  wise  and  pru- 
dent economist.     It  was  a  great  relief  to  me. 

Months  elapsed  in  this  way,  the  ladies,  notwith- 
standing their  worldly  life,  continuing  to  overwhelm 
me  with  attentions  and  consideration  that  bewildered 
me  ;  and  I  loving  and  admiring  my  Esther  at  a  dis- 
tance, while  I  resumed  the  life  of  laborious  study 
which  had  an  indefinable  charm  for  me. 

One  evening,  about  eight  o'clock,  when  I  came  in 
to  go  to  work,  I  saw  on  the  table  such  a  huge  pile  of 
pi  oof  sheets  to  correct,  that  a  momentary  feeling 
of  discouragement  overwhelmed  me ;  and  while 
lighting  my  lamp,  it  occurred  to  me  that  this  even- 
ing the  ladies  were  to  be  present  at  the  first  perform- 
ance of  a  piece  at  the  Opera-Comique.  The  pack- 
age of  proof  sheets  was  really  enormous  ;  1  had 
not  set  foot  inside  of  a  theatre  for  nearly  a  year. 
The  idea  of  surprising  the  ladies  took  possession  of 
me,  and  I  hastily  dressed.  I  must  have  been  losing 
a  great  deal  of  flesh  lately,  for  my  coat  seemed  to 
hang  around  me.  When  I  had  finished  tying  my  cra- 
vat, I  went  to  tell  the  nurse,  kissed  Valentine,  who 
was  .sound  asleep,  and  went  away  humming  a  tune. 

Unfortunately  the  hall  was  full,  and  it  was  only  by 
paying  twice  the  usual  price  for  a  seat  that  I  obtained 
with  great  difficulty  a  little  stool  in  the  embrasure  of 
a  doorway.  It  was  in  the  midst  of  the  interval  be- 
tween the  acts  ;  there  was  great  confusion  in  the  room, 
and  at  first,  sufi"ocated  by  the  heat,  and  dazzled  by 
the  lights,  I  could  distinguish  nothing.  I  noticed 
however,  that  my  two  neighbors  were  smiling  as  they 
looked  through  their  opera  glasses  in  the  same  direc- 
tion.    "  She  is  really  magnificent,"  said  one.     "  It's 


B ABO  LAIN.  163 

her  assurance  that  I  particularly  admire,"  replied  the 
other,  and  they  whispered  together,  laughing  heartily. 

I  also  glanced  in  the  same  direction  and  saw  on 
the  lower  floor,  near  the  left  hand  passage,  several 
very  fashionably  attired  gentlemen,  who,  with  their 
backs  turned  to  the  hall,  were  standing  before  the 
corner  box  talking  very  gayly  with  the  people  within, 
whom  it  was  impossible  to  distinguish. 

Besides,  I  cared  very  little  about  what  was  going 
on  there.  I  had  come  to  the  theatre  to  meet  my  wife 
and  her  mother,  who  undoubtedly  on  a  night  when 
mere  stools  cost  such  exorbitant  sums,  must  have 
taken  very  inferior  seats.  I  carefully  examined  the 
second  tier  of  boxes,  and  then  the  third,  but  in  vain ; 
and  was  thinking  of  crossing  the  orchestra  to  inspect 
the  portion  of  the  building  hitherto  concealed  from 
my  eyes,  when  I  saw  my  friend  Timol6on,  hidden  un- 
der the  shadow  of  the  right  hand  gallery  as  I  was  under 
the  left.  His  arms  were  folded,  his  eyebrows  drawn 
into  a  frown,  and  he  was  gazing  intently  at  the  closely 
surrounded  box,  which  seemed  to  attract  general  at- 
tention. 

At  that  moment  the  bell  of  the  theatre  was  heard, 
and  all  returned  to  their  seats  ;  the  famous  box 
on  the  first  floor  was  unmasked,  and  I  recognized  my 
wife  and  my  mother-in-law  leaning  back  amid  waves 
of  silk  and  lace,  and  beaming  with  smiles.  A  gentle- 
man about  forty  years  old,  with  a  pair  of  mustaches 
curled  in  military  style,  whom  I  thought  I  recognized 
as  having  seen  somewhere  before,  had  remained 
alone  before  the  box.  The  signal  was  given,  the  or- 
chestra began  the  prelude,  Madame  Paline  made  a 
graceful  gesture  of  invitation  to  the  elegant  gentle- 
man, and  the  latter  took  a  seat  between  the  two  la- 
dies, who  moved  apart  that  they  might  not  obstruct 
his  view  of  the  stage. 

The  sight  made  me  feel  a  violent  heart-burning, 
and  my  brow  suddenly  became  damp  with  perspira- 


164  BABOLAIN. 

tion.  As  I  turned  to  take  out  my  handkerchief  I  saw 
Timol6on,  who  was  also  wiping  his  face,  and  evident- 
ly very  much  agitated.  Why  was  my  friend  hiding  in 
that  dark  corner — why  was  he  so  troubled  and  rest- 
less ?  I  was  about  to  rush  towards  him  to  have  an 
explanation  of  the  mystery,  when  the  curtain  rose 
and  the  words :  "  Sit  down,  sit  down,"  murmured  on 
all  sides,  forced  me  to  be  silent  and  motionless. 

I  wanted  to  listen  to  the  piece,  but  it  was  impos- 
sible for  me  to  hear  a  note  or  understand  a  single 
word.  I  was  constantly  watching  Esther  and  her 
mother.  What  was  there  peculiar  about  them  .-'  It 
seemed  to  me  as  if  their  manners,  their  gestures,  and 
even  their  toilettes  were  singular.  Was  I  the  sport 
of  a  illusion,  or  was  my  wife  really  transformed  ?  How 
does  it  happen  that  all  these  people  surround  her  and 
talk  to  her  with  such  familiarity,  while  I —  Am  I 
not  her  husband —  And  Timoldon,  why  is  not  he 
near  them  ?  I  am  crazy,  I  am  absurd,  I  am  acting 
like  a  child.  Instead  of  reasoning,  I  am  wandering. 
Could  I  have  lost  my  faculty  of  analysis  .-•  Let  us 
look  at  the  matter  coolly :  what  is  there  surprising 
in  the  fact  that  a  woman  who  is  justly  celebrated 
should  attract  attention  when  she  shows  herself  in 
public ;  that  she  should  be  surrounded  by  respectful 
homage?  Do  I  not  know  that  for  a  long  time  the  most 
distinguished  persons  have  considered  it  an  honor  to 
be  admitted  to  her  studio,  that  she  moves  in  a  circle 
of  society  entirely  unknown  to  me,  and  that  all  this  is 
perfectly  natural.     But  then  why  am  I  so  agitated  ? 

The  plaudits  that  from  time  to  time  echoed 
around,  suddenly  roused  me.  I  should  have  liked  to 
go  to  the  box,  but  dared  not.  It  seemed  as  if  every- 
body must  know  me  and  would  say,  pointing  their 
fingers  at  me  :  "  That  ugly  little  man  with  the  pale 
face,  crooked  back,  white  cravat  like  a  justice  of  the 
peace,  red  eyes  and  blue  spectacles,  is  the  husband 
of  the  great  Esther  Paline,  the  magnificent  woman 


BABOLAIN.  165 

yonder."  "  And  why  did  you  come  here?"  said  I  to 
myself,  "you  proud,  foolish  fellow  ?  Why  did  you 
come  if  you  did  not  have  the  humility  to  remain  in 
the  shade  that  is  proper  for  you,  exulting  in  a  triumph 
you  cannot  share  because  you  have  not  earned  it. 
Were  you  not  happy  in  your  old  coat,  bending  forward 
under  your  lamp  near  your  sleeping  child,  working 
for  her  as  well  as  you  were  able  ?  What  madness  has 
impelled  you  to  leave  your  proper  sphere  ?  Yes,  of 
course.  Esther  is  triumphant,  radiant,  admired — 
And  yet  she  is  my  wife,  and  I  love  her,"  I  added, 
crushing  my  hat.  The  interval  between  the  acts  hav- 
ing come,  I  hastily  went  up  to  the  first  floor  and,  paus- 
ing, began  to  read  the  placard  hanging  on  the  wall  in 
a  frame.  "  I  ought  to  go,"  I  said  to  myself,  "  I  ought 
to  go ; "  but  I  gradually  approached  the  box  in  which 
the  aristocratic  profile  of  the  gentleman  with  the 
mustache  was  dimly  visible  through  the  half  open 
door.  After  having  vainly  tried  to  button  my  gloves, 
I  gave  two  little  raps.  "  Come  in,"  said  Esther,  who 
was  laughing  gayly.  I  entered  ;  the  ladies  turned, 
and  my  wife,  with  a  sudden  blush, — was  it  caused  by 
surprise  or  displeasure, — could  not  restrain  a  low  ex- 
clamation. 

"  Oh  !  "  said  she,  fanning  herself  violently,  "  oh  ! 
it's  you.     Good-evening." 

My  mother-in-law,  who  was  excessively  flushed, 
but  majestic  as  usual,  seemed  indignant.  The  five  or 
six  gentlemen  who  were  again  assembled  around  the 
box  were  silent,  raised  their  opera-glasses,  and  stared 
me  coolly  in  the  face.  My  situation  was  horrible.  I 
felt  that  I  was  utterly  ridiculous,  smiled  foolishly  at 
everybody,  and  made  a  number  of  little  bows  around 
the  circle.  "  Be  dignified,  natural,  don't  show  the  least 
affectation,"  I  murmured  between  my  teeth.  Then 
bending  towards  Esther,  I  said  to  her : 

"  I  thought  I  should  please  you  by  coming  to  bid  you 
good-evening,  my  dear.     Does  the  play  amuse  you  ?  " 


l66  BABOLAIN. 

She  did  not  answer,  but  leaned  back  in  her  arm- 
chair, and  said  in  a  loud  voice,  with  the  air  of  a  queen  : 

"  Gentlemen,  my  husband." 

A  profound  silence  followed,  and  it  seemed  to  me 
that  every  one  was  smiling ;  but  before  my  agitation 
gave  me  time  to  analyze  the  nature  of  the  smile,  the 
gentleman  with  the  mustache,  bowing  with  extreme 
courtesy,  murmured : 

"  Madame  de  Martignac,  do  me  the  favor  of  in- 
troducing me  to  Monsieur  ;  I  believe  this  is  the  first 
time  I  have  had  the  honor  of  meeting  him." 

"  My  dear,  le  Comte  de  Vaugirau,  who  worships 
painting,"  she  said  with  great  volubility. 

"Monsieur  le  Comte,  I  am  charmed — " 

"  No  more  so  than  I,  Monsieur,  I  assure  you.  Do 
you  still  devote  yourself  to  sculpture  ?  " 

"  You  are  mistaken,  Monsieur  le  Comte,  I  have 
never  devoted  myself  to  sculpture." 

"  Ah !  I  beg  pardon  a  thousand  times.  At  one 
of  the  last  exhibitions  I  admired  a  very  beautiful 
bust,  signed  Martignac,  and  naturally  supposed — I 
was  mistaken." 

"  De  Martignac  is  my  wife's  name.  I  love  the 
arts—" 

"  That  is  a  matter  of  course." 

"  Doubtless,  but  I  have  no  talent  for  them." 

"  Ah  1  so  much  the  worse.  Madame  de  Martig- 
nac. A  thousand  pardons,  Mile,  de  Martignac,  I 
ought  to  say,  or  rather:   Madame — Madame — " 

"  Madame  Babolain,  Monsieur  le  Comte." 

"  Ah  !  yes,  Monsieur  Babolain.  I'm  delighted  to 
make  your  acquaintance.  Have  you  any  children, 
Monsieur  Babolain  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Monsieur,  I  have  a  little  daughter,"  I  mur- 
mured. And  I  felt  such  a  violent  pang  in  my  heart 
that  I  stopped  short.  'I'here  was  something  veiled 
under  the  excessive  politeness  of  this  fine  gentleman 
which  made  me  suffer  terribly.    Was  it  scorn — pity  .'  I 


BABOLAIN.  167 

could  not  tell ;  I  did  not  feel  insulted,  but  I  suffered. 
By  what  right  did  he  speak  of  my  child  at  this  mo- 
ment? 

The  interval  between  thQ  acts  being  over,  each  of 
the  gentlemen  bowed  to  me,  and  I  found  myself  alone 
in  the  box  with  Esther  and  Madame  Paline.  I  did 
not  conceal  it  from  myself ;  the  sole  cause  of  the  ex- 
cessive civihty  of  which  I  had  just  been  the  object 
was  the  high  esteem  in  which  Esther  was  held.  It 
was  to  the  husband  of  the  great  artist  that  all  these 
attentions  had  been  shown,  for  personally  I  had  been 
as  foolish  and  ridiculous  as  possible  all  the  evening. 

I  was  not  sufficiently  a  man  of  the  world,  was  not 
sufficiently  master  of  myself,  to  behave  with  this  ease 
of  manner.  I  must  certainly  have  annoyed  the 
ladies  greatly  by  arriving  in  this  way  without  being 
expected,  and  even  imagined  that  they  would  make 
some  remarks  on  the  subject;  but  contrary  to  my 
supposition,  they  thanked,  me  for  coming  in  the  most 
charming  terms.  Yet  my  wife  said  in  a  low  tone,  in 
a  voice  of  tender  reproach  :  "  My  dear,  you  have  left 
Valentine  at  home  alone." 

I  did  not  know  what  to  answer.  She  was  right : 
how  many  accidents  might  have  happened  during  my 
absence  !  Would  the  servants  know  enough  to  come 
after  me,  to  call  the  doctor  in  time —  The  orchestra 
began  to  play,  and  I  took  refuge  in  the  back  of  the 
box,  which  was  quite  dark.  From  that  time  I  was  more 
at  my  ease  and  tried  to  analyze  my  feelings  as  I  had 
been  accustomed  to  do.  I  was  ashamed  of  the  part 
I  had  played  so  badly,  I  was  aware  of  having  been  a 
pitiful  creature  :  I  ought  to  have  done  this,  said  that. 
Now  that  I  was  no  longer  on  the  stage,  I  once  more 
regained  my  clearness  of  thought  and  saw  plainly. 
But  while  I  gazed  at  my  wife's  admirable  beauty, 
I  confusedly  distinguished  opera-glasses  turned  to- 
wards her  from  the  main  hall,  and  thrilled  from  head 
to  foot  with  emotions  of  pride.  "  Yes,  yes,"  I  thought, 


1 68  B ABO  LAIN. 

"look  at  her  all  of  you,  admire  her,  enjoy  her  works, 
be  proud  of  winning  one  of  her  smiles,  but  I  have 
had  her  first  tender  caresses,  I  have  understood  her; 
she  has  already  loved  me.  I  have  a  child  who  is  a 
pledge  of  our  mutual  affection,  a  child  who  will  have 
her  genius,  and  whom  we  both  fondly  cherish.  My 
wife,  yes,  my  wife." 

While  an  actor  was  announcing  the  author's 
name,  I  rushed  into  the  gallery,  ordered  the  cloaks 
to  be  brought,  and  helped  the  ladies  put  them  on  ;  I 
tried  to  be  as  free  from  awkwardness  as  possible, 
and  Heaven  be  praised,  got  through  my  task  without 
accident.  I  offered  Esther  my  arm,  slipped  a  five- 
franc  i>iece  into  the  box-keeper's  hand,  and  thanked 
her  with  a  smile  for  her  civilities. 

Was  it  the  result  of  chance,  or  was  my  wife's 
presence  the  cause  ?  I  do  not  know,  but  it  seemed 
to  me  as  if  the  vestibule  was  crowded  with  people 
waiting  to  see  us  pass.  Besides  being  troubled  at 
the  idea  of  going  through  this  throng,  my  sight  was 
too  poor  to  enable  me  to  distinguish  the  faces  clearly. 
A  sort  of  lane  was  formed ;  it  seemed  to  me  that  peo- 
ple were  bowing  to  us ;  at  all  events,  I  also  bowed 
right  and  left,  until  drawn  on  by  the  ladies,  who  had  a 
horror  of  being  stopped,  I  found  myself  sitting  op- 
posite to  them  in  the  carriage. 

"  How  do  you  like  the  piece  t  "  said  Esther  in  a 
voice  that  rang  cold  and  clear  as  crystal. 

"  Oh !  it's  admirable,"  said  I  ;  "  pardon  me,  I  an- 
swered you  without  thinking.  The  truth  is,  I  didn't 
understand  a  word  of  what  was  being  played ;  but 
what  a  triumph  you  had,  my  darling,  what  a  triumph  !  " 

"  1  ?  I  didn't  notice  it.  Tell  Joseph  to  drive  a  little 
faster."  But  what  was  Timok-on  doing  hiding  in  the 
shadow  like  a  conspirator,  I  thought,  drawing  up  my 
legs  that  I  might  not  crush  the  ladies'  dresses. 


BABOLAIN.  i6g 


XIV. 

One  morning,  two  or  three  days  after  the  first 
night  of  the  piece  at  the  Opera-Comique,  as  I  open- 
ed the  door  of  the  dressing-room  where  the  college 
professors  put  on  their  gowns  before  going  into  the 
class-rooms,  I  heard  loud  bursts  of  laughter.  Being 
a  little  late,  I  hastily  entered,  and  the  laughing  in- 
stantly ceased.  One  of  the  gentlemen,  who  had  evi- 
dently just  been  reading  an  article  aloud,  threw  the 
newspaper  carelessly  on  the  table,  and  began  to  fast- 
en the  collar  of  his  gown.  I  had  undoubtedly  inter- 
rupted something  very  interesting.  I  soon  found  my- 
self alone  ;  the  paper  was  still  there,  I  took  it  up  and 
instantly  saw  a  heading  that  excited  my  curiosity 
greatly.  It  was  couched  in  the  following  words : 
"  The-Artist  Wife^  Unfortunately  the  signal  for  the 
lecture  sounded  ;  I  hid  the  paper  under  my  gown  and 
carried  it  into  the  class-room.  There,  although  inter- 
rupted every  instant,  I  could  devour  this  abominable 
piece  bit  by  bit. 

The  author  of  this  study  of  manners,  for  such  it 
was,  had  pictured  in  repulsive  terms  a  type  of  woman- 
hood which  might  have  been  taken  as  describing  gen- 
eral characteristics,  but  was  in  reality  tiie  caricatured 
portrait  of  Esther.  Exact  particulars  abounded ; 
special  details,  scarcely  veiled,  left  no  doubt  whatever 
in  regard  to  the  writer's  intentions.  Not  only  was  the 
talent  of  the  artist  wife  very  slightingly  judged,  but 
the  boldness  of  her  extravagant  style  of  painting  was 
looked  upon  as  a  barefaced  means  of  attracting  eyes 
and  hearts,  a  strange  mode  of  obtaining  notoriety,  to 
which  justice  must  at  last  be  done ;  so  that  after  hav- 
ing read  thirty  lines  of  this  atrocious  article  one  was 
convinced  that  it  was  alluding  to  some  bold,  artful 
courtesan.  To  complete  the  picture,  the  husband's 
portrait  was  added,  a  grotesque  fawning  fellow,  living 


170  BABOLAIN. 

on  the  crumbs  of  the  banquet,  not  even  having  the 
modesty  to  remain  unknown,  but  appearing  from 
time  to  time. 

The  first  feeling  I  experienced  was  one  of  unmiti- 
gated disgust.  These  are  the  bitter  fruits  of  fame, 
this  is  what  it  costs  to  surpass  one's  rivals.  To  what 
degree  of  baseness  can  jealousy  push  some  foul 
souls !  I  cared  very  litde  for  the  insults  heaped 
upon  myself;  the  very  excess  of  these  calumnies 
rendered  them  senseless  and  harmless ;  I  did  not 
feel  injured,  I  scorned  such  mire;  but  she,  the  irre- 
proachable artist  so  passionately  devoted  to  her  pro- 
fession, thinking  only  of  the  pursuit  of  the  beau- 
tiful, impressionable  and  sensitive,  like  all  refined 
natures,  how  she  would  suffer  in  reading  these  infa- 
mous lines  1     I  was  in  agony. 

When  my  lesson  was  over,  I  went  to  the  dressing- 
room,  and  in  the  presence  of  all  my  colleagues,  said  : 

"  Gentlemen,  I  had  the  curiosity  to  read  the  paper 
you  apparently  found  amusing,  for  you  were  laughing 
very  heartily  when  I  came  in  here  before  I  went  to 
my  class-room." 

While  I  was  speaking,  one  after  another  went 
out  through  the  half-open  door.  "  This  article,  gen- 
tlemen, is  an  infamous  thing,  a  succession  of  mon- 
strous calumnies  which  I  should  despise  if  they  at- 
tacked only  myself,  but  being  levelled  at  a  person 
whose  honor  is  entrusted  to  me,  whose  character 
must  remain  stainless,  I  cannot  endure  them,  and  beg 
you  to  explain  them." 

Two  or  three  of  the  gentlemen  who  had  not  yet  left 
the  room,  shrugged  their  shoulders  slightly,  and  with- 
out raising  their  eyes,  made  their  escape.  This 
destroyed  the  composure  I  had  maintained  up  to  this 
moment.  "  You  are  cowards,  gentlemen,"  I  cried. 
"  I  said  it,  and  I  repeat  it ;  you  are  cowards  !  " 

"Come,  Babolain,  calm  yourself;  you  see  there 
is  no  one  here,"  said  one  of  my  colleagues,  who,  con- 


B ABO  LAIN.  171 

\ 
cealed  by  the  door  of  the  wardrobe,  was  hanging  up 
his  gown  and  cap.     I  turned  and  recognized  the  pro- 
fessor of  rhetoric,  a  very  distinguished  young  man 
who  had  graduated  from  the  normal  school  with  me. 

"  Are  you  there  ?  "  said  I.  "  Do  you  understand 
nothing  about  what  is  happening  to  me  ?  What !  do 
gentlemen  who  know  me  seem  to  approve  of  such  in- 
famies by  their  silence,  and  pretend  not  to  hear  me  !  " 

The  idea  occurred  to  me  that  my  colleagues  had 
jjerhaps  wished  to  make  sport  of  my  emotions,  and 
doubtless  the  next  day  would  come  to  meet  me,  hold 
out  their  hands,  and  apologize.  "  If  they  wanted  to 
mystify  me,"  I  added,  "  they  have,  without  intending 
it,  cruelly  overstepped  all  bounds.  I  don't  think  1 
am  excessively  sensitive,  but — " 

"  Babolain,  we  are  old  acquaintances,  and  no  one 
can  hear  us  ;  let  us  speak  frankly  :  you  know  very 
well  that  what  you  are  now  doing  is  useless  ;  why  do 
you  make  all  this  outcry  ?  In  certain  positions — I 
don't  judge  you,  mind  that;  but  in  some  situations 
people  keep  quiet ;  if  I  hurt  your  feelings,  I  regret  it 
— I'm  right,  believe  me." 

I  approached  him,  ready  to  burst  into  a  fury,  and 
said  in  a  hollow  tone :  "  I  wish  you  to  explain  your- 
self instantly  ;  I  insist  upon  it ;  ah !  you  are  smiling  at 
the  base  slanders  like  the  others,  ah  1  you  like  the 
dirty — " 

"  Let  me  alone  ;  you  are  perfectly  ridiculous." 

"  No,  I  will  not  let  you  alone  ;  no,  this  matter  no 
longer  concerns  me.  Ah  !  if  I  were  only  the  sole 
person  whose  character  was  at  stake.  But  it  is  my 
daughter's  mother,  my  wife,  who — " 

At  the  word  wife  he  clapped  me  on  the  shoul- 
der :  "  You  haven't  strength  to  play  these  parts — " 

I  paused  an  instant,  I  was  .suffocated.  What  mo- 
tive had  my  old  schoolmate  for  crushing  me  so  ? 
Had  the  poison  of  calumny  glided  into  every  heart  ? 
What  was  I  to  do,  what  could  I  say,  where  should  I 


1 72  BABOLAIN. 

find  help  ?  Yet  I  must  defend  my  wife,  plead  her 
cause,  prove,  persuade —  I  succeeded  in  calming  my- 
self a  little,  took  my  companion's  hand  in  my  trem- 
bling fingers,  and  entreated,  conjured  him :  "  Tell 
me  what  people  think — what  you  think  yourself;  I 
know  nothing  about  these  scandals  !  Everything 
people  can  say  is  false,  you  see.  I  swear  it  is  false. 
This  comes  from  the  Institute — I  will  tell  you  all,  my 
friend.  You  will  perceive  of  what  hatred  my  wife  is 
the  object  by  the  mere  fact  of  her  great  genius.  You 
cannot  know  how  implacable  are  the  conflicts  people 
enter  into  in  the  world  of  art — drawing,  coloring, 
light  and  shade.  It  is  a  reign  of  fanaticism,  and  jeal- 
ousy from  preference  attacks  the  most  refined  natures, 
the  most  lofty  minds." 

I  saw  plainly  that  he  was  touched.  It  was  because 
I  spoke  from  my  heart.  At  that  moment  I  felt  an 
outburst  of  love  for  my  wife  which  it  is  impossible  to 
describe.  I  was  her  only  defender  against  all  these 
attacks,  and  the  idea  inspired  me.  I  felt  elevated, 
freed  from  my  fetters ;  I  was  tall  enough  to  rise  to 
her  height,  to  rescue  her  ;  for  the  first  time  in  my  Hfe 
I  was  protecting  her. 

The  professor  of  rhetoric  looked  at  me  a  moment 
with  a  very  peculiar  expression  ;  and  putting  his  books 
under  his  arm,  said  :  "  Your  innocence  exceeds  all 
bounds,  my  poor  fellow,"  then  glancing  at  his  watch  : 
**  I'm  somewhat  hurried,  I  will  leave  you." 

"  And  in  a  dastardly  way,  like  all  the  others,"  I 
cried,  giving  myself  up  to  an  outburst  of  the  most 
violent  rage.  Having  taken  off"  my  gown,  I  was  in 
my  shirt  sleeves  with  my  cap  still  on  my  head,  and  I 
repeated  with  the  most  energetic  gestures :  "  Cow- 
ard !  yes,  coward  !  " 

"  What  the  deuce— have  you  gone  crazy  ?  You 
are  making  me  angry  at  last.  Is  it  my  fault  if  Mad- 
ame Babolain  makes  herself  the  talk  of  all  Paris  .-'  " 

"  Wretch,  oh  I  wretched  liar  1  "  and  as  I  uttered 


B ABO  lain:  173 

the  words  I  sprang  at  his  throat.  The  door  was 
thrown  violently  open,  and  live  or  six  persons  rushed 
upon  me  ;  I  struggled  like  a  madman,  striking  blindly 
at  everything  around  me,  but  the  pain  of  being  feeble 
and  powerless  was  to  be  added  to  my  other  sources 
of  shame.  I  was  mastered  in  an  instant.  "  I'll  kill 
him !  yes,  I'll  kill  him  !  and  all  the  others,"  I  mur- 
mured. 

"  Put  on  your  coat,  Monsieur,"  said  the  proctor 
gravely,  "  and  cease  this  scandal.  Have  the  kind- 
ness to  withdraw.  Monsieur  Babolain,  or  you  will  be 
obHged  to  do  so  by  force.     Go  at  once." 

I  was  compelled  to  obey,  and  was  escorted  to  the 
door  of  the  college  by  two  men  who  had  been  sum- 
moned for  the  purpose.  When  I  was  in  the  street  I  sat 
down  on  a  stone  ;  I  was  like  a  drunken  man.  So  I  had 
angered  everybody  without  convincing  any  one ;  I  had 
compromised  my  dignity  as  a  professor  without  result. 
The  slanders  would  circulate  more  rapidly  than  ever, 
thanks  to  my  clumsiness ;  I  must  be  the  most  foolish 
of  men,  not  to  be  able  to  prove  what  was  perfectly 
plain.  I  saw  my  poor  Esther  holding  out  her  little 
hands  to  me  imploringly,  and  saying :  "  In  the  name  of 
our  child,  defend  me ;  everybody  is  attacking  me ; 
my  dear  husband,  you  are  my  only  hope," 

This  thought  reanimated  me,  and  I  began  to  walk 
on  haphazard,  with  my  eyes  fixed  upon  vacancy,  and 
my  fists  clenched.  Soon  I  noticed  that  I  still  held 
the  scandalous  paper  in  my  hand,  crushed  and  rum- 
pled, it  is  true,  but  nearly  intact.  It  was  a  ray  of 
light.  At  the  first  glance  I  found  at  the  top  of  the 
page  the  address  I  wanted,  got  into  a  cabriolet,  and 
twenty  minutes  after  was  knocking  at  the  door  of  the 
Lardon,  a  Journal  of  Literature  and  Art.  In  a  very 
narrow  room,  divided  by  a  partition  of  lattice-work 
adorned  with  placards,  was  a  large  table  covered  with 
printed  papers,  among  which  a  gentleman  with  an  ex- 
tremely bald  head  and  a  very  weary  air  was  rummag- 


174 


BABOLATN. 


ing.     The  atmosphere  was  verj*  close,  and  pervaded 
with  a  smell  of  stale  tobacco  smoke  and  beer. 

"  Monsieur,"  said  I  without  the  slightest  pream- 
ble, "  I  have  come  to  demand  satisfaction  for  the 
abuse  and  slanders  your  miserable  paper  contains." 

"  Pray  sit  down,"  replied  the  bald  man  smiling, 
"I  don't  exactly  understand  what  you  mean.  Against 
which  number  do  you  make  these  grave  charges  ?  " 

"  Here  it  is.  Monsieur,  look."  And  I  threw  the 
fragment  I  still  held  in  my  hand  upon  the  table. 

"  Oh  !  I  remember  perfectly  ;  but  there  is  nothing 
in  that  number  except  an  article  entitled  A71  Artist 
Wife  ;  and  I  see  nothing  personal  there,  not  a  name, 
not  even  an  initial ;  it  is  merely  a  study  of  man- 
ners in  general,  a  type  in  which  any  one  who  choos- 
es can  recognize  himself,  but  which  is  no  one's 
portrait." 

"  You  have  lied.  Madame  Esther  Paline  is  plain- 
ly designated  in  that  article.  It  is  against  her  that 
these  anonymous  slanders  are  directed ;  have  the 
courage  to  confess  your  infamy,  of  which  I  will  have 
an  immediate  and  complete  retraction." 

"  And  who  are  you  who  speak  with  so  much  au- 
thority ?  " 

*'  I  am  Monsieur  Babolain,  professor  of  mathe- 
matics in  the  college  of  Saint  Louis,  and  husband  of 
the  eminent  artist  whose  fame  you  vainly  seek  to 
tarnish." 

"  Her  husband  !  Well,  Monsieur,  I'm  sorry  for 
you  ;"  then  turning  towards  the  grating  he  said,  rais- 
ing his  voice  :  "  Are  you  there,  Henri  ?  Come  here." 
A  shorl  man  with  a  cigarette  in  his  mouth,  disordered 
hair,  and  flashing  eyes,  suddenly  appeared,  and  my 
surprise  was  great  to  recognize  in  this  personage  the 
fiery  'I'ambergeac,  the  imi)lacable  native  of  Toulouse, 
the  invincible  bulwark  of  criticism.  At  last,  then,  I 
should  meet  an  honest  man,  who  was  independent 
and  just,  and  therefore  ready  to  help  me  ;  I  held  out 


BABOLAm.  17$ 

my  hand  to  him.  But  without  responding  to  my  ad- 
vances, he  struck  a  dignified  attitude  in  front  of  the 
table,  and  said  ♦ 

"  It  is  vain  for  you  to  attempt  a  system  of  intimi- 
dation here.  Monsieur,  which  is  beyond  all  bounds  of 
propriety.  It  is  a  sacrilege  to  limit  the  sacred  free- 
dom of  criticism,  and  this  paper,  I  would  have  you 
to  know,  is  an  independent  tribune  where  people  can 
speak  according  to  their  consciences." 

"  It  is  for  that  very  reason  that  I  appeal  to  your 
fair  dealing,  your  memory,  the  regard  you  have  al- 
ways shown  for  my  wife." 

"  A  truce  to  useless  words.  Monsieur.  Admit,  if 
you  choose,  that  I  am  the  author  of  the  article  in 
question,  not  a  line  of  which  will  be  expunged:  I  assume 
the  whole  responsibility.  The  time  is  at  last  come 
to  drive  the  money-changers  away  from  the  temple, 
to  purify  the  arts,  to  do  complete  justice." 

"  You  are  either  a  fool  or  an  arrant  rascal,  Mon- 
sieur Tambergeac,  miserable  lackey  of  the  Institute  !  " 
I  uttered  this  insult  haphazard,  without  understand- 
ing its  meaning  very  clearly  myself,  but  imagining 
it  would  sting  him.  The  effect  was  speedy.  The 
gentleman  from  Toulouse  buttoned  his  coat :  "  The 
contempt  your  situation  inspires  saves  you  from  an 
immediate  chastisement,  Monsieur.  I  shall  expect 
your  friends  to-day." 

"  For  what  purpose,  scoundrel  ?  " 

"  To  make  an  arrangement  with  them  as  to  the 
best  way  of  slitting  your  ears."  And  he  disappeared 
behind  the  grating. 

That  evening  I  returned  to  the  Rue  Vaugirard  at  a 
very  late  hour.  My  good  friend  Timoleon,  who,  for 
reasons  which  I  did  not  exactly  understand,  had 
positively  refused  to  be  my  second,  had  shown  the 
utmost  devotion  in  every  other  respect ;  seeing  that 
the  meeting  was  inevitable,  he  had  kept  me  shut  up 
in  his  house  all  day,  to  prevent  my  getting  into  any 


176  BABOLAIN. 

other  scrape,  he  said,  and  taken  upon  himself  the 
difficult  task  of  the  arrangements  and  discussions. 
He  came  back  about  ten  o'clock  in  the  evening,  drip- 
ping with  perspiration,  and  found  me  seated  before 
some  soup  and  a  cutlet  which  had  been  brought  from 
some  neighboring  restaurant,  and  I  had  found  it  im- 
possible to  taste.  He  told  me  the  result  of  his  la- 
bors :  everything  had  gone  off  as  well  as  possible  ; 
the  arrangements  for  the  duel  had  been  very  easily 
settled.  Tambergeac,  who  was  convinced  of  my 
awkwardness  and  inexperience,  and  moreover  very 
eager  to  carry  out  an  affair  which,  without  the  least 
danger,  would  secure  himself  the  benefit  of  a  scan- 
dal, Tambergeac,  I  say,  was  intractable.  We  were 
to  fight  early  the  next  morning  with  swords,  in  a 
spot  admirably  adapted  for  the  purpose,  just  behind 
the  race-course  of  Montrouge  :  a  dispensary  student 
and  a  young  ensign  were  to  be  my  seconds. 

I  confess  that  when  I  heard  all  this  I  felt  chilled 
to  the  very  marrow  of  my  bones.  The  fever  which 
had  sustained  my  strength  during  the  first  part  of  the 
day  was  completely  calmed,  and  I  saw  the  seriousness 
of  my  situation  clearly.  I  had  never  touched  a  sword  ; 
my  sight  was  wretched,  and  I  was  not  ignorant  that 
my  awkwardness  was  exceptional.  Were  there  not 
very  great  chances  that  I  should  be  killed  .''  Yet  my 
predominant  thought  was  not  the  fear  of  death,  but 
the  dread  that  I  should  not  be  equal  to  my  duty  when 
on  the  ground,  and  might  behave  like  a  coward. 

I  returned  home  under  the  influence  of  this  feel- 
ing, lighted  my  lamp  and  began  to  arrange  my  papers, 
pausing  in  my  work,  from  time  to  time,  to  eagerly 
swallow  large  glasses  of  water.  At  daybreak  I  went 
into  Valentine's  room  ;  she  was  sleeping  peacefully 
in  her  cradle.  I  wanted  to  kiss  her,  clasp  her  in  my 
arms,  but  was  trembling  so  violently  that  I  was  afraid 
I  should  wake  her ;  was  there  any  reason  why  she 
should  be  disturbed  because  I  was  going  into  danger  ; 


BABOLAIN.  \yy 

would  it  improve  my  situation  in  the  least  ?  I  leaned 
over  my  little  daughter  and  murmured  in  a  low  tone  : 

"  It  must  be,  my  precious  darling,  it  must  be. 
This  matter  concerns  your  mother's  honor  and  our 
own.  I  must  defend  you  both.  If  I  should  die,  it 
would  be  a  misfortune ;  but  you  don't  know  me  very 
well  yet ;  your  sorrow  would  soon  be  over — still,  you 
would  not  forget  me  too  quickly.  Do  you  remember 
when  we  played  on  the  carpet .''  We've  had  very  pleas- 
ant times  together,  my  poor  love." 

The  clock  struck  five.  I  hastily  dressed,  took 
down  a  little  picture  of  Esther  which  hung  on  the 
wall  and  put  it  in  my  pocket ;  then  with  a  parting  sa- 
lute to  the  house  I  might  never  see  again,  went  cau- 
tiously out. 

We  were  the  first  to  arrive  at  the  place  appointed. 
"It  would  have  been  better.  Monsieur,"  said  the 
young  ensign,  "  if  you  had  worn  boots  with  heels. 
What  a  lovely  morning — will  you  allow  me  to  lend 
you  some  military  gloves  .''  I  have  a  pair  that  are 
just  the  thing — flexible  and  thick :  see,  this  doesn't 
confine  the  fingers,  and  the  weapon  is  supported. 
You  don't  know  your  adversary's  game.  Monsieur  ?  " 

I  thought  of  my  wife  and  daughter  who  were  both 
sleeping  at  that  moment.  "  I  hope  my  absence  has 
not  been  noticed  yet,"  I  said  to  myself.  I  dared 
not  answer  the  officer  lest  the  trembling  of  my  voice 
should  betray  my  state  of  mind,  so  I  slightly  shrug- 
ged my  shoulders  and  affected  the  utmost  indiffer- 
ence. "  Faith,  I'm  like  you,  I  don't  want  to  know 
my  opponent's  game,  one  is  all  the  more  prudent  and 
watchful.  Not  very  long  ago  I  had  an  affair  with  a 
fellow  of  whose  method  I  was  entirely  ignorant.  As 
I  put  myself  on  guard,  I  said  to  myself,  '  one  of  two 
things,  either  this  fellow  is — ' " 

The  soldier's  story  was  interrupted  by  the  arrival 
of  the  art  critic,  who  bowed  to  us  and  immediately 
took  off"  his  coat.      We  were  ready  in  an  instant 

12 


178  BABOLAIN. 

Strange,  when  I  saw  my  adversary's  flashing  eyes, 
threatening  face  and  shining  sword,  the  necessity  of 
fulfilling  my  duty  loyally  to  the  end  impressed  itself 
so  forcibly  upon  me  that  all  agitation  ceased,  every 
fear  vanished;  it  seemed  as  if  some  fatality  surround- 
ed me,  some  superhuman  power  commanded  me  to 
chastise  this  scoundrel,  and  the  sense  of  the  justice 
of  my  cause  rendered  me  invincible.  As  soon  as  the 
seconds  had  measured  the  swords  and  retired,  I 
clenched  the  hilt  of  my  weapon  firmly  and  advanced 
rapidly  upon  my  enemy  to  kill  him. 

Tambergeac  grew  very  pale,  and  hastily  retreated 
until  stopped  by  a  fence,  when  he  stretched  out  his 
arm  and  turned  his  head  aside.  I  felt  a  strange  ch;ll 
sensation  in  my  chest,  my  limbs  tottered,  everything 
began  to  whirl  around  me,  and  I  sank  upon  the 
ground. 

"  The  time  is  false,  but  it  is  a  good  thrust,"  said 
somebody. 

Meantime  my  opponent  had  thrown  himself  upon 
me,  crying : 

"  Oh  !  God,  gentlemen,  I  have  killed  him.  How 
did  I  do  it  ? — This  is  terrible — I  wished  him  no  harm, 
gentlemen,  none  at  all." 

It  was  impossible  for  me  to  utter  a  word — I  faint- 
ed. 

XV. 

When  I  again  opened  my  eyes  I  gazed  around  me 
for  a  long  time  like  a  man  who  has  suddenly  awaked 
in  a  strange  country  ;  then  by  degrees  the  fog  in  which 
I  was  enveloped  dispersed  ;  the  forms  of  things,  which 
were  at  first  as  confused  and  undecided  as  the  out- 
lines of  a  wave,  grew  clear  ;  and  with  strange  surprise 
I  recognized  the  fruit-room,  my  books,  and  the  nar- 
row bed  on  which  I  lay.  I  wanted  to  feel  the  cover- 
lid with  my  hands,  touch  the  walls  to  confirm  the  im- 


BABOLAIN.  179 

pression  received  through  my  eyes  ;  but  found  I  had 
not  strength  even  to  raise  my  arm.  Meantime  a  pale 
woman  whom  I  recognized  by  her  white  cap  as  a  Sister 
of  Charity,  was  watching  me  earnestly.  Beneath  the 
mild  and  benevolent  gaze,  I  felt  reassured,  my  mem- 
ory returned,  and  I  recollected  my  wound,  the  duel, 
the  horrible  scene  that  had  caused  it,  and  all  the  rest. 

"  You  are  better,"  said  the  Sister,  who  had  ap- 
proached me  ;  "  do  not  speak.  You  are  still  too 
weak." 

I  muttered  uninteUigibly,  "  Where  is  my  wife — 
and  my  child  ?  " 

"Don't  be  anxious,  my  dear  Monsieur,  the  httle 
one  is  very  well ;  she  will  come  in  and  kiss  you  when 
she  gets  home  from  the  Luxembourg." 

"  My  wife  ?  " 

It  seemed  as  if  the  Sister  did  not  wish  to  hear ; 
but  seeing  that  I  was  still  questioning  her,  she  replied 
with  a  faint  blush : 

"  Madame  is  not  in  just  now  \  come,  come,  calm 
yourself,  or  the  doctor  will  scold  us." 

I  was  too  much  accustomed  to  Esther's  absence 
to  be  surprised  that  she  was  not  at  home.  Yet  L 
should  have  liked  to  have  given  her  my  first  glance 
when  I  regained  my  consciousness  ;  I  felt  that  there 
was  now  a  new  and  indissoluble  bond  between  us — 
that  of  the  blood  I  had  shed  to  defend  her.  My  poor 
wife,  how  she  had  suffered  during  the  crisis  !  On 
seeing  me  in  this  condition,  she  must  have  said  to 
herself:  "If  he  should  die,  it  is  I  who  have  killed 
him."  In  anticipation  I  consoled  her,  held  out  my 
arms  to  her.  But  why  was  she  not  here,  it  would 
have  done  me  so  much  good  !  I  was  making  these 
reflections  when  the  doctor  entered,  accompanied  by 
Timoleon  ;  his  cheeks  were  hollow,  and  there  was  a 
look  of  despair  in  his  eyes.  My  old  friend  came  up 
to  me  and  pressed  my  hands,  while  the  doctor  said 
\v,th  a  radiant  face  : 


l80  BABOLAIN. 

"  I  can  boast  of  having  brought  you  back  from  a 
long  journey,  my  dear  Monsieur;  for  more  than  a 
month  you  have  been  obstinately  endeavoring  to 
glide  into  the  other  world.  Thank  God  !  the  danger 
is  now  over." 

"  And  my  wife  ? "  I  faltered,  looking  at  Timoleon. 

"  She'll  soon  be  back  again,  my  friend  ;  the  ladies 
were  obliged  to  go  into  the  country  for  a  few  days. 
They  thought  your  sickness  would  be  less  severe  of 
course." 

"  Yes,"  added  the  doctor  with  a  peculiar  expres- 
sion, "  it  was  absolutely  necessary.  I  ordered  their 
departure  on  account  of  an  attack  of  bronchitis, 
which  required  a  change  of  air  ;  but  calm  yourself, 
what  a  man  you  are  !  I  assure  you  there  is  no  dan- 
ger, it  is  a  mere  precaution." 

"  You  are  perfectly  sure  ?  " 

"  Why,  of  course.  Don't  be  disturbed,  keep 
quiet,"  said  the  three  persons  at  my  bedside  in  the 
same  breath.     They  smiled  at  me  and  I  smiled  too. 

My  strength  rapidly  returned  ;  but  as  I  grew  bet- 
ter, my  wife's  absence  and  persistent  silence  seemed 
more  and  more  incomprehensible.  Every  day  I  ask- 
ed about  her — at  last  Timoleon  said  : 

"  My  dear  friend,  since  the  truth  must  be  confess- 
ed to  you,  I  fear  the  ladies  won't  return  as  soon  as  I 
expected.     They  went  much  farther  than  I  told  you." 

"  But  where  are  they  .''     Speak,  1  beg  of  you." 

"  They  are  in  Italy.  Doubtless  they  would  have 
been  less  hasty  in  taking  their  departure,  but  you 
know  how  eager  an  artist's  imagination  is.  Your 
wife  received  commissions  for  several  important 
works,  which  she  could  only  complete  there,  and  you 
know  that  fttr  a  long  time  she  has  hail  an  ardent  de- 
sire to  visit  the  museums  of  Italy.  The  study  of  the 
great  masters  is  a  capital  (juestion — " 

While  .saying  tiiis,  Timoleon  was  choosing  words 
in  great  embarrassment.     1  had   remained  perfectly 


SAB  OLA  f 2^,  l8l 

bewildered,  with  my  eyes  fixed  on  vacancy,  and  my 
hands  clasped.  After  an  instant's  pause,  I  murmur- 
ed, without  intending  it  :  "  She  is  very  cruel.  And 
suppose  I  had  died — what  would  have  become  of 
our  child  ?  She  did  not  think  of  all  this,  I  know  very 
well — her  art  takes  complete  possession  of  her.  It  is 
too  easy  for  us  who  know  nothing  of  the  transports  of 
genius  to  tax  with  ingratitude  these  privileged  beings 
whose  mission  is  not  to  nurse  the  sick,  but  to  create 
magnificent  works  which  are  the  glory  of  the  human 
mind.  Could  they  produce  their  master-pieces  if 
their  pursuit  of  a  single  object  did  not  render  them 
insensible  to  the  thousand  details  of  every-day  life  ? 
It  is  we  who  are  guilty,  we  commonplace  mortals, 
who,  through  instinctive  jealousy,  want  to  cling  to 
their  wings  and  find  in  their  souls  our  petty,  trivial 
virtues,  which  could  not  exist  there.  She  causes  me 
great  sorrow  by  going  away  ;  but  after  all,  what  does 
that  matter,  if  she  can  paint  one  picture  the  more  ? " 

"  Oh  !  you  are  sublime,"  exclaimed  Timoleon. 

"  If  people  are  sublime  so  cheaply,  you  are  sub- 
lime too." 

"  I — I  am  a  miserable  wretchj  a  scoundrel,  a  cow- 
ard. If  you  knew  what  I  really  am,  you  would  be 
ashamed  to  have  held  out  your  hand  to  me." 

"  You  are  joking.     Yet  this  is  not  the  time." 

"Yes,  I'm  joking  :  I  am  wrong.  When  Madame 
Paline  went  away,  she  gave  me  this  letter  for  you, 
and  I  promised  to  deliver  it,  my  dear  friend.  I  have 
not  read  it,  but  whatever  it  may  contain,  promise  me 
to  be  calm.  You  will  be  brave,  won't  you,  you'll  give 
me  your  oath." 

He  opened  a  drawer  and  placed  a  pile  of  papers 
in  my  lap. 

"  There  is  your  mail,"  said  he ;  "  there  are  a  great 
many  proofs  to  correct,  as  you  see." 

He  pressed  my  hand  and  left  the  room.  I  in- 
stantly recognized  my  mother-in-law's  writing,  broke 
the  seal  and  read  the  following  lines  : 


1 82  BABQLAIN". 

"  Monsieur  : 

"  Your  last  mad  act  caps  the  climax  of 
the  tortures  we  have  endured  ever  since  bonds  which 
are  unfortunately  indissoluble  have  united  you  to 
my  daughter."  I  stopped  short,  turned  the  letter  in 
every  direction,  again  examined  the  signature,  and 
then  resumed  :  "  Too  long,  Monsieur,  have  I  excused 
you,  believing  you  unaware  of  the  suffering  you 
caused  us ;  but  now  doubt  is  no  longer  possible ;  you 
had  premeditated  everything,  calculated  everything 
in  advance  ;  you  had  set  yourself  the  task  of  smoth- 
ering the  enthusiasm,  the  glow  of  the  artist's  soul  un- 
der the  heavy  burden  of  your  truly  oppressive  indi- 
viduality. Pardon  me  if  any  otfensive  expression 
slips  from  my  pen  ;  my  despair  does  not  allow  me 
time  to  choose  my  phrases,  and  I  wish  to  tell  you  what 
1  think  at  once. 

"To  attain  your  object  more  surely,  to  complete 
your  work  of  destruction,  you  cause  scandals  to 
spring  up,  call  to  your  aid  the  publicity  of  I  know 
not  what  discreditable  papers,  and  even  lose  your 
self-respect  so  far  as  to  cross  swords  with  low  people, 
doubtless  in  the  hope  that  some  of  the  disgrace  of 
such  an  adventure  will  be  reflected  upon  your  wife's 
brow  and  my  own.  We  have  in  our  blood.  Monsieur, 
a  hatred  of  certain  base  actions  and  cannot  endure 
them  near  us.  You  wish  to  become  famous  too,  to 
win  renown  by  force ;  you  are  at  liberty  to  do  so ;  but 
do  not  depend  upon  my  daughter's  reputation  as  a 
stepping-stone  on  which  we  will  allow  you  to  mount. 

"  My  daughter,  by  my  advice,  has  used  your  name 
very  hiue  hitherto  ;  henceforth  she  expects  to  forget  it 
entirely.  We  break  all  ties  with  the  past.  Over- 
whelmed with  broken  illusions,  suffering  from  a  thou- 
sand blows,  bleeding  at  a  thousand  wounds  and  with 
our  brows  crimson  with  blushes,  we  go  to  seek  at  the 
sacred  springs  of  art,  rest  and  forgetfulness.  May 
God  forgive  you,   Monsieur.     We  leave  your  raol 


BABOLAm.  1^3 

with  empty  hands,  contenting  ourselves  with  our  few 
personal  effects ;  for  we  want  to  deprive  you  of  even 
the  shadow  of  those  pretexts  you  have  been  skilful 
in  transforming  into  a  scandal.  Let  it  be  clearly  un- 
derstood that  your  wealth,  however  great  it  may  be 
— we  do  not  wish  to  know— is  not  a  chain  strong 
enough  to  keep  us  under  your  authority. 

"  My  daughter,  who  approves  of  this  determina- 
tion, joins  me  in  signing  the  present  letter. 

"  Esther  Paline  de  Martignac-Corbon. 

"  Evelina  de  Martignac-Corbon." 

I  could  not  turn  my  eyes  from  the  fatal  sheet ;  but 
it  was  useless  to  fix  my  attention,  it  was  absolutely 
impossible  for  me  to  understand  its  meaning  clearly. 
I  was  in  the  midst  of  a  nightmare,  whose  reality 
appeared  only  in  the  most  confused  forms.  The  only 
thing  that  seemed  plain  was,  that  they  had  gone 
away  hating  me.  I  called  Valentine,  and  when  I 
had  her  in  my  arms,  passionately  kissed  her  cheeks, 
her  forehead,  her  hair,  her  Uttle  hands  and  her 
clothing.  I  looked  at  her  as  if  I  saw  her  for  the  first 
time. 

"  I  have  no  one  but  you  now,  my  darling,"  said  I. 
"  How  shall  I  love  you  without  making  myself  hate- 
ful ?  "  And  I  clasped  her  so  closely  that,  doubtless, 
being  terrified,  she  called  her  nurse.  "  Yes,  yes, 
carry  her  away,"  I  said  eagerly,  *'  she  must  not  be 
frightened." 

I  mechanically  opened  another  letter  ornament- 
ed with  a  huge  red  seal  3  it  contained  the  following 
lines : 

"  To  Monsieur  Babolain,  Agrfgi  des  Sciences,  Profes- 
sor of  Mathematics  in  the  college  of  St,  Louis  : 

"  Monsieur, 

"  Upon  the  report  of  your  principal,  and 
according  tp  the  vote  of  the  council,  of  the  Univer- 


1 84  BABOLAIN. 

sity  in  the  session  held  upon  the  third  of  this  month, 
His  Excellency  the  Minister  of  Public  Instruction 
has  decided  that  you  should,  until  further  orders,  be 
suspended  from  your  office  and  placed  on  the  unat- 
tached list; 

"  His  Excellency,  Monsieur,  regrets  that  reasons 
of  great  importance,  which  it  is  doubtless  needless  to 
recapitulate,  compel  him  to  adopt  a  measure  whose 
severity  ill  harmonizes  with  the  pleasant  associations 
formerly  left  by  you  in  the  minds  of  the  body  of  pro- 
fessors." 

This  was  signed  and  countersigned. 

"  So  everything  is  crumbling  around  me  !  I  am 
accursed  !  "  I  exclaimed.  "  But  after  all,  what  have 
I  done  ?  For  what  crime  am  I  hunted  down  in  this 
way  ? "  In  an  outburst  of  rebellion  and  despair,  I 
crushed  the  papers  lying  before  me,  hurled  them 
upon  the  floor  and  trampled  them  under  my  feet. 
"  Heartless  creatures, you  have  plundered  me,  and  now 
that  I  have  nothing  left,  now  that  I  am  without  strength 
and  without  resources,  you  fly  from  me  as  if  1  were 
a  mangy  dog  only  fit  to  be  killed  !  Genius  !  genius  ! 
Does  it  concern  me  ?  Do  I  know  anything  about 
your  wild  fancies,-'  Why  should  I  be  the  expiatory 
victim  of  your  genius  ?  To  satisfy  you,  I  must  also 
be  deprived  of  the  possibility  of  repairing  the  evil 
you  have  done  me,  and  that  my  ruin  may  be  complete, 
you  wrest  from  me  even  the  nails  with  which  I 
might  scratch  the  ground.  Oh  !  you  may  hate  me,  for 
I  hate  you  too.  I  will  efface  the  memory  of  your 
passage  through  my  life,  a.5  we  brush  mud  from  our 
clothing.  Hatred  for  hatred,  scorn  for  scorn,  that  is 
justice,  and  I  will  prove  it  to  you  when  you  return." 
Exhausted  by  this  fit  of  passion,  I  sank  upon  my  bed. 
"  They  will  never  come  back,  since  they  detest  me. 
Is  it  their  fault.''  Is  not  one  always  guilty  when  one 
makes  one's  self  t)dious  ?  Who  compelled  me  to  plun- 
der myself  for  them  ;  did  I  not  do  so  of  my  own  free 


B ABO  LAIN.  185 

-will,  from  a  mere  feeling  of  selfishness  ?  I  was  proud 
of  them ;  my  pride  was  flattered  when  I  saw  them 
brilliant  and  admired;  of  what  use  is  it  to  threaten 
Providence  ?  Would  God  be  just  if  His  logic  were 
not  inflexible  ?  Can  He  change  moral  laws  for  me  ? 
Have  I  not  been  blind  and  mad,  ridiculously  vain 
to  believe  myself  agreeable  ?  And  yet  she  has  felt 
real  affection  for  me  at  times — I  cannot  refuse  to 
believe  proof;  she  has  loved  me  ;  yes,  yes,  I  remem- 
ber." 

"  It  will  be  useless  for  her  to  protest,  to  curse  me," 
I  thought ;  "  this  great  artist  has  given  herself  to  me, 
and  of  the  past,  which  she  is  powerless  to  destroy,  I 
retain  a  most  living  proof — our  Valentine,  my  sweet 
little  angel." 

I  rose,  picked  up  the  papers  scattered  over  the 
floor,  and  seating  myself  before  the  table,  eagerly  be- 
gan to  correct  my  proof-sheets. 

When  Timol6on  returned,  he  surprised  me  in  the 
midst  of  this  task.  Pausing  on  the  threshold  he  held 
out  his  arms  to  me  : 

"  Pardon  me,  Babolain,"  said  he,  "  I  did  not  have 
the  courage  to  remain  near  you  while  you  were  read- 
ing those  letters,  whose  contents  I  guessed  only  too 
easily.  My  poor  friend — my  brother !  I  have  spent 
all  this  time  in  the  Carmelite  church —  You  are 
wretched,  are  you  not  ?  You  must  take  refuge  in 
prayer,  open  your  heart  to  God ;  in  Him  alone  you 
will  find  strength  to  resist  the  blow  that  is  overwhelm- 
ing you." 

I  know  not  why  Timoldon's  eager  sympathy  was 
painful  to  me.  Why  had  he  besought  the  aid  of  Prov- 
idence ;  why  did  he  advise  me  to  do  the  same  ?  Did 
God  need  so  many  idle  words  ?  What  could  I  tell 
Him  ?  should  I  seek  to  deceive  Him  by  decking  my- 
self out  in  my  woes  before  His  eyes  ?  Should  I  be 
pitiful  and  ridiculous  enough  to  ask  Him  to  stop  the 
course  of  His  justice,  and  was  it  not  the  only  prayer 


i86  babolatn: 

worthy  of  Him,  to  accept  His  inevitable  sentence  and 
bend  the  head  without  prayer  or  pleading  ? 

"  What  is  done  is  done,"  said  I,  casting  down  my 
eyes,  for  I  was  by  no  means  sure  that  I  could  look 
him  in  the  face  without  bursting  into  tears.  "  Let  me 
correct  these  proofs  ;  you  see  I  am  very  much  behind- 
hand, and  the  people  at  the  printing  office  will  be  fu- 
rious. Never  speak  to  me  again  of  what  you  know, 
will  you  ?     Never,  never." 

"  Sorrow  glides  over  without  hurting  you,"  he  said 
with  a  shade  of  irritation  in  his  tone.  "  You  don't 
know  what  we  suffer,  we  who  have  less  hardened 
souls.  But  your  indifference  frightens  me,  I  assure 
you  ;  if  the  philosophical  skepticism  which  takes  the 
place  of  everything  else  to  you  produces  such  effects 
upon  hearts,  I  think  it  is  repulsive,  and  I  pity  you." 

"  I  am  not  indifferent,  and  it  is  useless  to  pity  me, 
Timol^on." 

"  I  excuse  no  one  ;  but  indeed,  I  can  understand 
many  things  now  !  So  you  don't  suspect,  heart  of 
stone,  that  even  as  I  talk  to  you  I  am  suffering  the 
tortures  of  the  damned  ?  I'm  disturbing  you — good- 
bye," said  he. 

"  Good-bye,  Timoldon,  good-bye." 

My  life  was  to  begin  anew,  that  was  all.  I  had  de- 
ceived myself;  I  had  been  mad  ;  my  pride  had  intoxi- 
cated me.  I  had  believed  myself  able  to  marry  a 
woman  who  was  my  superior.  The  point  in  question 
now  was  to  see  if  I  had  the  material  for  a  father  in 
me.  That  became  a  fixed  idea.  I  imafjined  myself 
in  this  new  character ;  my  ugliness,  my  physical  de- 
fects, etc.,  would  no  longer  be  obstacles,  and  besides, 
I  was -conscious  of  possessing  treasures  of  tender- 
ness and  devotion  for  my  little  daughter. 

I  dismissed  the  servants,  sold  the  horse  and  car- 
riage, and  began  to  set  my  affairs  in  order ;  but  as 
fast  as  I  paid  back  bills,  fresh  debts,  of  which  I  knew 
nothing,  seemed  to  spring  from  the  ground.     There 


BABOLATN.  I87 

■was  something  incomprehensible  and  exorbitant 
about  them.  \Vas  this  a  gulf  in  which  our  last  re- 
sources would  be  engulfed  ?  "  Oh  !  God,''  I  said  in 
despair,  "  if  we  should  have  nothing  left !  " 

At  the  same  time  that  I  was  settling  my  affairs, 
I  resumed  my  labor  with  desperate  eagerness,  to 
finish  the  heavy  task  I  had  undertaken.  Morning, 
noon  and  night,  I  went  to  Valentine's  cradle,  lowered 
the  curtain,  re-adjusted  the  coverlids,  listened  to  her 
breathing.  It  always  seemed  to  me  as  if  some  dan- 
ger threatened  her,  and  her  life  depended  entirely 
upon  my  care  and  watchfulness. 

Often  too,  I  wandered  through  the  large  suite  of 
apartments,  whose  disorder  reminded  me,  only  too 
clearly,  of  the  ladies'  hurried  departure.  It  caused 
me  deep  sorrow,  and  yet  I  sought  a  thousand  pretexts 
to  return  and  remain  amid  the  furniture  and  hangings. 
Must  I  not  bid  them  farewell?  For  I  should  soon 
sell  them ;  I  would  separate  myself  from  these  scenes 
of  luxury  which  were  not  fit  for  me  ;  and  I  sat  down 
upon  the  sofa,  where  she  sometimes  used  to  lie.  I 
opened  the  piano  and  paused  before  the  wardrobe ; 
rummaged  in  every  corner,  searched  the  shelves,  and 
if  I  chanced  to  find  a  bit  of  ribbon,  a  pin,  any  trifle 
that  might  have  belonged  to  her,  hastily  wrapped  it  up 
and  carefully  concealed  it. 

She  sometimes  appeared  before  me  so  distinctly 
that  I  felt  actually  frightened,  took  refuge  in  my  room 
and  double-locked  the  door. 

One  day,  some  recollection  returning  to  mind,  I 
remembered  the  Jew  Isaac,  the  picture-dealer  who 
had  so  greatly  appreciated  my  wife's  talent.  Perhaps 
this  man  still  had  some  painting  signed  by  Esther  in 
his  shop.  At  all  events,  it  was  possible  that  he  had 
kept  up  his  business  relations  with  her,  and  could 
give  me  information  of  her  whereabouts.  After  hesi- 
tating a  long  time  I  went  to  Isaac's  shop,  and  when  I 
had  looked  at  some  sketches,  said  to  him  :    "  I  be- 


1 88  B ABO  LAIN. 

lieve  you  have  had  several  of  Mme.  Esther  Palinc's 
pictures." 

I  saw  at  once  that  he  did  not  recognize  me.  He 
smoothed  his  chin  Uke  a  man  who  is  trying  to  re- 
member something. 

"  Esther  Pahne — Esther  Paline  ?  " 

An  instant  after,  he  smiled  brightly. 

"  Oh  !  yes,  I  recollect  perfectly.  One  of  the 
pictures  made  a  good  deal  of  stir;  M.  le  Comte  de 
Vaugirau  bought  it,  ha!  ha!  as  well  as  many  others. 
I've  got  them  all  up  stairs." 

I  felt  chilled. 

"  So,  Monsieur,"  I  stammered,  "  you  have  a  great 
many  of  this  artist's  paintings." 

"Everything  she  has  done,  probably.  When 
Monsieur  de  Vaugirau  went  to  Italy  a  short  time  ago, 
he  left  the  collection  with  me." 

I  clung  to  an  easel  to  save  myself  from  falling. 
*'  To  Italy — to  Italy  ?  "  I  repeated  in  my  agitation  ; 
"  that  is  impossible." 

"  What  did  you  say  ? " 

"  Nothing — I  said  nothing,  on  the  contrary,  I  was 
thinking — ah  !  to  Italy." 

The  Jew  looked  earnestly  at  me,  and  said  in  an 
insinuating  tone : 

"  Madame  Esther  Paline  is  an  artist  of  great 
originality  ;  some  of  her  sketches  are  —  amazing. 
Would  Monsieur  like  to  see  any  of  them  ?  I  would 
sell  them  at  a  very  low  price." 

"  Oh  !  no,  I  have  not — my  situation  will  not  al- 
low me  to  buy — on  the  contrary,  I  was  going — pardon 
me,  I  am  a  little  out  of  breath — I  was  going  to  offer 
you  three  of  this  lady's  drawings  which  I  happen  to 
have." 

Isaac's  expression  changed  completely. 

*'  That's  a  very  different  matter,"  said  he,  "  total- 
ly different." 

•'  Would  you  buy  these  sketches,  Monsieur  ?  " 


BABOLAIN.  189 

"  No  indeed,"  and  he  burst  into  a  sneering  laugh. 

"  They  are  very  interesting  sketches  ;  the  first  in- 
spiration of  the  artist.-' 

"  Don't  urge  the  matter ;  you  see  I'm  loaded  with 
Esther  Paline's  pictures,  and  the  paintings  are  abso- 
lutely worthless  to  me  with  the  exception  of  the 
frames.  You  must  perceive  I'm  not  quite  crazy 
enough  to  increase  the  number — beg  pardon — I'm 
just  going  to  breakfast." 

I  suddenly  drew  myself  up  to  my  full  height,  as  if 
I  had  received  an  electric  shock. 

"  You  speak  very  contemptuously  of  works  which 
have  excited  enthusiasm  and  admiration." 

"  Between  ourselves,"  replied  the  dealer  impa- 
tiently, "  Madame  Paline's  pretended  talent  has  nev- 
er existed,  and  her  painting  is  far  below  mediocrity. 
A  fuss  has  been  made  about  her  as  well  as  a  great 
many  other  pretty  women,  with  whose  success  art 
has  absolutely  nothing  whatever  to  do ;  you  know 
that  as  well  as  I,  Monsieur." 

"  It  is  not  so  ;  it  is  false,"  I  cried,  struggling  like 
a  wretch  condemned  to  the  stake,  whom  the  flames 
are  just  beginning  to  reach. 

"  It  must  be  confessed  you're  a  very  odd  stick," 
said  the  Jew,  bursting  into  shouts  of  laughter. 

"  And  why  should  M.  le  Comte  de  Vaugirau  have 
bought  all  these  pictures  if  they  were  valueless  ? " 
My  tone  was  threatening. 

"  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  Why,  what  do  you  want  me  to  say  ? 
M.  le  Comte  undoubtedly  had  excellent  reasons — 
these  things  don't  require  any  explanation." 

"  You  have  lied  !   you  are  a  knave  !  " 

"  What !  what !  Be  good  enough  to  take  yourself 
off  at  once." 

I  wandered  through  the  city  like  a  bewildered 
hare  pursued  by  a  pack  of  hounds.  I  suddenly 
crossed  the  street  and  then  went  back  again;  stopped 
without  any  reason,  jostled  against  the  passers-by, 


igp  BABOLAIN. 

stared  around  me  without  seeing  anything,  and  then 
continued  my  way,  while  the  Jew's  voice  still  buzzed 
in  my  ears.  If  this  scoundrel  had  told  the  truth, 
what  was  the  woman  I  had  married,  of  what  infernal 
play  had  I  been  the  laughing-stock  ? 

But  how  could  I  believe  in  so  many  horrors  ?  It 
was  all  false,  I  was  the  victim  of  abominable  impos- 
tures. While  struggling  against  the  proof  that  clutch- 
ed my  throat,  I  said  to  myself:  ''We  will  go  away. 
We  will  pack  up  to-morrow.  I  will  break,  burn  every- 
thing they  have  touched;  my  child  must  be  snatched 
from  these  accursed  scenes  before  they  have  made  a 
lasting  impression  upon  her  mind.  Valentine  must  al- 
ways be  ignorant  of  these  falsehoods.  We  will  take 
refuge  in  some  corner  of  the  world  far  from  knaves 
and  liars.  We  will  live  for  each  other,  and  perhaps 
the  memory  of  these  evil  days  may  in  time  be  ef- 
faced. 

But  alas  !  we  cannot  do  away  with  a  portion  of 
our  existence  at  will.  All  the  thoughts  and  emotions 
of  life  cling  together,  and  are  interlaced  like  the 
links  of  a  chain.  Memory  is  disobedient  to  the  com- 
mands we  wish  to  impose  ;  recollections  are  ever- 
watchful  foes,  and  if  for  an  instant  we  succeed  in 
driving  them  from  our  homes,  they  take  up  their 
abode  without,  watch  for  us,  haunt  our  walks,  twine 
about  us,  and  the  circle  of  the  past  whirls  around  the 
old  man  with  the  more  violence,  the  greater  the  ef- 
forts he  makes  to  fly  from  it.  Life  is  not  a  succes- 
sion of  naked  facts ;  around  each  are  woven  the  feel- 
ings, the  fancies,  the  impressions  of  every  kind  which 
have  preceded  or  followed  it,  which  have  been  its 
cause  or  effect ;  and  this  brain-work,  these  illusions, 
these  mirages,  with  which  we  have  swaddled  our  acts, 
soon  mingle  with  them  ;  so  that  afterwards  we  can 
no  longer  recollect  the  act  without  at  the  same  time 
remembering  its  surroundings,  its  swaddling  bands, 
its  bark  ;  it  appears  to  us  ready  clothed,  and  we  are 


BABOLAIN.  191 

powerless  to  separate  what  we  have  done  from  what 
we  might  have  done,  the  real  from  the  imaginar}'^,  the 
object  from  its  image.  This  is  why  we  love  certain 
things  in  the  past  which  were  worthy  of  hatred,  why 
we  cherish  certain  sorrows. 

Why  curse  the  mirror  whose  falsehood  makes  us 
happy  ?  The  illusion  was  deceitful ;  but  was  the  joy 
to  which  it  gave  birth  any  the  less  real  ?  What  does 
it  matter  if  the  thing  is  black,  if  my  eyes  first  saw  it 
white  and  the  memory  of  this  false  whiteness  still 
charms  and  consoles  me  ! 

What  matters  it  that  she  deceived  me  ?  Why 
search  into  this  mystery  ?  And  moreover,  did  she 
deceive  me  ?  I  do  not  want  to  know — I  want  the 
proof  which  would  overwhelm  me  to  remain  a  false- 
hood. Nothing  will  seem  to  have  any  truth  save  the 
illusion  which  made  me  live.  The  Esther  I  have  in 
my  heart  is  the  real  Esther. 

Such  were  the  arguments  by  whose  aid  I  cheered 
my  sorrow.  Thus,  in  taking  refuge  in  the  past  with  a 
sort  of  obstinacy,  I  still  deferred  until  the  morrow  the 
moment  of  leaving  the  surroundings  which  helped 
me  to  remember.  And  while  arranging  the  pro- 
gramme of  a  new  life  and  thinking  of  leaving  Paris, 
I  was  gradually  resuming  my  former  habits. 

At  the  time  when  the  classes  met,  I  mechanically 
looked  at  my  watch,  as  I  used  to  do  when  I  feared  to 
be  late,  and  went  out  slinking  under  the  shadows  of 
the  walls,  avoiding  every  eye  and  trembling  lest  I 
should  be  recognized.  Useless  anxiety  !  I  was  aged, 
broken,  my  hair  had  grown  gray,  and  I  walked  with 
difficulty,  leaning  on  my  cane.  When,  after  having 
passed  through  out-of-the-way  streets,  I  approached 
the  college,  I  saw  my  scholars  pass  by.  I  found  this 
one  changed,  the  other  seemed  taller ;  I  remembered 
their  voices,  their  gestures,  and  every  particular  of 
those  times.  Why  could  I  not  live  over  my  old  life, 
return  to  the  college  from  which  I  had  driven  my- 


192  BABOLALY. 

self?  But  the  logical  consequences  of  my  fault  must 
be  endured  to  the  end  ;  it  was  necessary  for  the  con- 
summation of  the  justice  of  Providence  that  every- 
thing around  me  should  be  shattered  ;  that  I  should 
be  abandoned  by  all ;  that  Timol6on  also — 

I  went  to  his  house  one  day,  and  when  I  asked 
the  concierge  if  I  could  go  up,  the  good  woman  stop- 
ped me,  saying  that  he  was  not  in. 

"  Will  he  come  back  soon  ? "  said  I. 

''  I  know  nothing  about  it ;  Monsieur  has  been 
travelling  for  a  fortnight." 

"  And  where  is  he  ?  " 

"  This  is  the  address  he  wrote  himself  to  have  his 
letters  sent  to  him." 

The  concierge  looked  through  the  pigeon-holes  in  a 
desk,  and  handed  me  a  piece  of  paper,  on  which 
were  written  these  few  words  : 

"  Florence  :  to  be  left  at  the  office  till  called  for." 

I  sank  into  a  chair,  and  dropped  the  paper  I  held 
upon  the  floor. 

XVI. 

Doctor  Bernard,  weary  of  waiting  for  us,  had  gone 
to  bed  when,  about  eleven  o'clock  in  the  evening,  our 
coach  stopped  on  the  Place  de  Favras  before  the 
sign  of  the  Barbe  (Tor.  Valentine,  whom  1  had  held 
in  my  arms  all  the  way,  was  sleeping  soundly.  AVe 
shook  the  nurse,  my  good  Marianne,  whose  head 
had  been  resting  on  my  shoulder  for  two  long  hours, 
and  got  out.  The  hostess  of  the  inn  threw  a  large 
armful  of  small  sticks  of  wood  on  the  fne — the  pans  in 
the  kitchen  sparkled  brightly — and  seating  myself 
near  the  flames,  I  undressed  my  little  daughter.  It 
was  the  most  important  thing  to  be  done. 

When  she  was  laid  in  a  large  white  bed  perfumed 
with  a  pleasant  odor  of  freshly-washed  linen,  and  I 
had  arranged    everything   for  the  night,  J  withdrew 


B  ABO  LAIN.  193 

into  the  next  room,  took  off  my  hat,  which  had  been 
torturing  me  ever  since  morning,  and  opened  the 
window.  A  pale  gleam  of  moonlight  dimly  rev^ealed 
the  church,  the  square,  and  the  tops  of  the  trees, 
among  which  appeared  the  strange,  vague  outlines 
of  chimneys  and  tall  gables.  There  was  not  a  sound 
except  the  murmur  of  the  mill-dam,  the  ticking  of  a 
clock,  the  distant  barking  of  the  dogs  in  the  farm- 
yards, and  the  stamping  of  the  horses  in  the  stables. 
The  air  was  pure  and  fresh  and  full  of  the  delicious 
perfumes  of  the  fields ;  I  fancied  that  I  was  trans- 
ported into  an  imaginary  world.  How  far  I  was 
from  accursed  Paris,  the  slightest  memory  of  which 
I  eagerly  repelled  !  I  gazed  into  the  mysterious  dark- 
ness with  a  curious  glance,  seeking  to  guess  before- 
hand what  the  day  would  reveal  of  the  new  scenes  in 
which  my  life  was  to  begin.  I  found  this  perfect 
calmness  consoling  and  full  of  promise.  Is  it,  then, 
so  very  difficult  to  efface  a  portion  of  one's  life  ?  I 
went  to  bed,  and  before  falling  asleep  re-read  the 
doctor's  letter,  in  consequence  of  which  I  had  under- 
taken this  journey. 

I  had  known  Bernard  at  the  College  of  Orleans, 
and  although  several  years  older  than  I,  we  had  been 
in  the  same  division.  I  had  always  retained  a  cer- 
tain regard  for  him,  and  even  written  him  a  letter  at 
the  time  of  my  marriage.  Therefore,  when  I  had 
fully  determined  to  retire  into  the  country,  finding 
myself  greatly  embarrassed  in  regard  to  the  choice 
of  a  place  of  retreat,  I  asked  the  advice  of  my  old 
fellow-student,  who,  I  knew,  was  settled  in  le  Blaisois, 
where  he  was  practising  medicine  with  great  success. 
He  very  obligingly  promised  to  try  to  find  a  house 
suitable  to  my  wants  in  his  neighborhood  ;  and  almost 
immediately  after,  in  another  letter,  told  me  he 
had  discovered  something  that  would  please  me,  and 
was  holding  it  at  my  disposal.  Thus,  after  having 
collected  the  last  remnants  of  my  fortune,  which  for- 
13 


194  B  ABO  LAIN. 

tunately  would  secure  us  the  necessaries  of  life,  I 
went  to  take  up  my  abode  in  the  market-town  of 
Favras.  The  next  morning  the  doctor  came  for  me 
in  his  gig,  and  through  narrow,  grass-grown  roads 
bordered  with  hedges  from  which  the  birds  flew  out 
in  hundreds,  took  me  to  the  estate  intended  for  me, 
and  of  which  he  confessed  himself  to  be  the  owner. 
The  terms  were  settled,  T  accepted  everything  with 
my  eyes  shut,  engaged  a  servant  belonging  to  the 
neighborhood  at  once,  and  was  installed  in  the  house 
that  very  evening.  It  was  a  real  cure's  dwelling, 
cheerful,  sheltered  from  the  north  winds,  ancient  and 
plain,  situated  about  three-quarters  of  a  mile  from 
the  market-town,  and  surrounded  by  a  garden  where 
apple  trees  and  cabbages,  gilliflowers  and  lettuce, 
grew  amicably  together.  There  were  long  narrow 
walks  edged  with  high  borders  of  box,  three  crumb- 
ling steps  which  led  into  the  dining-room,  a  stone 
bench  near  a  sun-dial,  and  below,  the  stream  flowing 
under  the  willow  trees  among  the  tall  grasses.  Then 
there  was  the  wash-house  with  its  thatched  roof,  the 
wharf  for  the  boat — nothing  was  lacking. 

I  had  found  a  frame  which  exactly  suited  me ;  this 
was  the  corner  where  I  ought  always  to  have  lived.  I 
eagerly  thanked  Bernard.  It  seemed  as  if  he  had 
chosen  this  dwelling  with  a  feeling  of  tenderness,  as 
if  with  touching  intuition  he  had  divined  my  sad  moral 
stale  and  tried  to  alleviate  it  by  procuring  this  refuge 
for  me.  It  was  certainly  a  proof  of  affection,  and  1  was 
all  the  more  touched  by  it  because  my  old  comrade 
carried  delicacy  so  far  as  to  conceal  his  kind  solicitude 
under  an  appearance  of  roughness  and  supercilious- 
ness. 

He  was  a  short  fat  man,  with  a  very  ruddy  com- 
plexion, and  as  lie  .said  liimself,  did  not  know  what  the 
word  obstacle  meant.  Very  soon  after  his  marriage 
lie  had  lost  his  wife,  who  left  him  one  son,  named 
Joseph.     He  was  held  in  high  esteem  in  the  mar- 


B  ABO  LAIN.  195 

ket-town,  not  only  on  account  of  his  talents  and  his 
cheerful  way  of  making  them  conspicuous,  but  for  the 
sake  of  his  rapidly  increasing  wealth,  his  handsome 
house  built  of  brick  and  stone  which  threatened  the 
skies  with  its  lightning-rod,  his  skill  in  foreseeing  op- 
portunities and  taking  advantage  of  them,  in  buying 
his  oats,  selling  his  wine,  becoming  the  purchaser 
of  large  tracts  of  woodland,  which,  to  the  great  de- 
light of  the  peasants,  he  parcelled  out  after  selling 
the  timber ;  on  account  of  his  enterprising,  resolute 
character,  the  ringing  tone  of  his  voice,  when  he  said  : 
"  Men  square  at  the  base  like  myself  are  never  taken 
unawares  ; "  his  huge  stomach,  small  eyes,  and  red 
beard. 

Far  from  being  irritated  by  Bernard's  rough  pat- 
ronizing manners,  I  accepted  them  with  a  sort  of 
gratitude  :  the  trials  through  which  I  had  just  pass- 
ed had  made  me  even  more  timid  than  before ;  I 
was  now  isolated,  destitute  of  advice,  doubting  my- 
self and  overwhelmed  by  the  responsibility  of  the 
resolutions  I  should  be  obliged  to  form.  It  was  real- 
ly providential  that  at  this  very  momenta  firm,  deter- 
mined friend,  who  did  not  know  what  obstacle  meant 
and  was  square  at  the  base,  allowed  me  to  lean  on 
his  shoulder  and  cling  to  him. 

In  fact  I  was  soon  overwhelmed  by  the  numberless 
cares  caused  by  my  settling  in  the  house,  or  rather 
Valentine's.  Destitute  of  skill  in  household  matters, 
and  naturally  prone  to  foresee  and  weigh  the  conse- 
quences of  things,  I  brought  to  this  new  task  the 
scrupulous  care  of  a  chemist  who  is  making  a  deUcate 
analysis.  Two  roorris  seemed  equally  suitable  for  my 
daughter's  reception  ;  but  which  of  the  two  should  I 
choose  ?  One,  it  is  true,  was  warmed  by  the  rising 
sun ;  but  the  walls  of  the  other  were  thicker,  and  a 
clump  of  trees  protected  it  from  the  wind.  On  the 
other  hand,  this  clunp  of  trees  might  cause  a  dangerous 
dampness  ;  and  this  was  not  to  be  feared  in  the  first 
room,  which  I  should  undoubtedly  have   chosen  had 


196  B ABO  LAIN. 

it  not  been  for  the  thousand  inconveniences  I  discov- 
ered every  moment.  By  means  of  reflecting  I  suc- 
ceeded by  logical  deductions  in  increasing  my  uncer- 
tainty, and  nothing  more.  I  went  to  tlie  market- 
town  several  times  to  get  the  doctor's  opinion  ;  but 
when  I  was  in  his  study,  filled  with  engravings,  and 
saw  him,  wrapped  in  his  dressing.gown,  seated  before 
his  huge  desk  covered  with  important  papers;  when, 
after  brushing  his  hand  across  his  forehead,  as  if 
disturbed,  he  said,  laughing  in  my  face :  "  Well,  what 
is  it  now,  ray  poor  Babolain  ?  "  I  was  checked  in  my 
desire  to  unbosom  my  troubles ;  and  comparing  my 
affairs  with  his,  accused  myself  of  childishness,  of  in- 
discretion, and  usually  left  him  without  having  spo- 
ken of  what  brought  me  there.  I  can  still  remember 
the  fit  of  merriment  that  overpowered  him  when 
one  day  I  asked  where,  in  his  opinion,  was  the  best 
place  on  my  estate  to  put  a  rain-gauge,  the  want  of 
which  I  felt  in  regulating  the  watering.  And  yet,  to 
a  rational  mind,  nothing  is  more  natural  than  this  de- 
sire to  have  a  rain-gauge  :  how  can  we  give  the  earth 
the  proper  quantity  of  water,  if  we  are  ignorant  of 
what  each  square  yard  can  and  ought  to  receive  ? 
But  what  does  all  this  matter  ? 

When  Valentine's  room  had  been  selected,  other 
cares  succeeded  which  I  would  trust  to  no  one  but 
myself.  I  began  to  put  down  carpets,  to  stop  up  the 
chinks,  to  nail  pads  under  the  doors,  and  from  the 
first  day,  my  hands  were  bruised  with  blows  from  the 
hammer.  Moreover,  I  devoted  myself  to  the  garden 
after  a  fashion,  and  gave  directions  to  the  carpenters 
and  locksmillis  I  had  summoned*  to  make  some  little 
changes.  This  was  a  very  great  alTair  !  In  regard 
to  carpentering  antl  locksmith's  work  I  was  reduced  to 
the  memory  of  my  former  study  of  mechanics,  so  that 
these  orders  gave  me  considerable  dilTiculty.  Per- 
haps I  even  calculated  the  probable  consequences 
of  everything  too  scientifically,  for  it  often  happen- 


BABOLAIN.  197 

ed  that  they  were  obliged  to  begin  again  the  next 
morning  at  what  they  had  done  the  night  before.  I 
apologized  to  the  workmen  and  tried  to  make  them 
understand  upon  what  principle  I  had  based  my  rea- 
sonings. 

Unfortunately  they  were  destitute  of  even  the 
most  elementary  notions. 

Bernard  said  to  me  one  day:  "What  kind  of 
trade  are  you  forcing  upon  your  unlucky  workmen, 
my  poor  Babolain  ?  The  people  in  the  town  talk  of 
nothing  but  you." 

Yet  I  had  but  one  wish,  that  the  whole  world 
would  forget  me  and  my  little  girl,  and  leave  us  at 
peace  in  the  corner  where  we  had  taken  refuge. 

At  last  quiet  and  calmness  were  restored  ;  we 
were  settled  in  our  new  home,  were  alone,  and  very 
comfortable.  Then  a  strange  phenomenon  took 
place  in  me.  The  silence  of  the  fields,  the  purity  of 
the  vivifying  air  which  restored  mj'  health  and  seem- 
ed to  intoxicate  me,  the  trees,  the  flowers,  the  blue 
depths  of  the  skies,  disposed  me  to  fits  of  meditation 
and  happiness  never  felt  before.  I  allowed  my 
whole  being  to  be  pervaded  by  the  fair  nature  I  now 
saw  for  the  first  time  ;  I  gave  myself  up  to  her,  was 
perfectly  confident,  had  no  fears  for  the  future ;  and 
during  hours  spent  in  lying  upon  the  grass,  lifting 
the  bits  of  moss,  searching  among  the  tiny  flowers,  I 
listened,  waited,  and  absorbed  indefinable  sensations 
vague  and  confused,  but  sweet  and  consoling.  And 
these  were  not  purely  physical  impressions,  there 
was  an  exchange  of  emotions  and  actual  feelings  be- 
tween nature  and  myself.  I  perceived  the  presence 
of  a  soul  which  was  speaking  to  mine  ;  there  was 
tenderness  in  the  warmth  of  the  kindly  sun  which 
caressed  my  back;  charitable  hospitality  in  the 
tree  that  sheltered  me  with  its  foliage.  My  little 
garden  was  kind-hearted  ;  it  was  a  safe,  prudent  con- 
fidant, always  ready  to  hear,  never  weary  of  consoling 


198  B ABO  LAIN. 

me.  There  was  no  more  mocking,  no  more  distrust. 
When  I  was  alone  I  was  surrounded  by  friends. 

The  annoyances  and  sorrows  of  former  days  pro- 
duced upon  me  the  effect  of  the  low  continuous  base 
the  rolling  of  a  carriage  causes,  and  which  tempts 
one  to  sing.  In  the  morning,  when  I  opened  my  win- 
dow-shutters into  the  fragrant  tufts  of  clematis  and 
jasmine  ;  when  the  pure  air  streamed  in,  and  I  saw 
my  trees  invigorated  and  rejoicing  in  their  existence, 
my  turf  besprinkled  with  dew-drops ;  when  I  heard 
the  warbling  of  the  redwings  and  nightingales,  my 
soul  expanded  joyously. 

I  thought  to  myself:  "  Can  it  be  that  the  horizon 
becomes  more  vast  as  the  scenes  amid  which  we 
live  grow  more  contracted  ?  Can  it  be  that  infinity  is 
within  our  own  souls  ?  Is  it  possible  that  God  Him- 
self is  in  our  hearts,  and  wills  that  we  should  seek 
Him  there?" 

All  my  past,  with  its  sufferings,  its  wild  aspira- 
tions, now  seemed  inexplicable.  People  should  never 
be  allowed  to  run  to  the  ends  of  the  world  to  study 
exotic  plants  until  they  are  perfectly  familiar  with  the 
gilliflower  that  grows  in  their  windows.  We  all  have  a 
strong  chain  that  holds  us  prisoners  :  by  pulling  at  it 
we  hurt  our  feet  but  do  not  lengthen  the  bond. 
Browsing  goats  are  strange  animals;  put  them  in  the 
centre  of  the  most  beautiful  lawn,  and  they  instantly 
rush  to  the  end  of  their  rope,  tugging  at  it  till  it 
strangles  them,  sighing  for  the  twigs  they  cannot 
reach,  and  indifferent  to  the  nice  tender  grass  that 
surrounds  the  stake.  Had  not  I  been  like  the  goat? 
"Eat  your  grass,  Babolain,"  I  said  to  myself,  "and 
you  will  see  afterwards."  It  seemed  as  if  Valentine, 
young  as  she  was,  must  feel  the  same  emotions  as  1. 
1  should  have  proof  of  it,  by  and  by,  when  she  knew 
how  to  speak  and  could  tell  me  her  childish  impres- 
sions. She  was  certainly  happy,  rolling  about  on  the 
greensward  while    Marianne   was   stretched    in    the 


B  ABO  LAIN.  199 

shade.  The  dear  Httle  thing  could  not  criticize  me 
yet ;  she  did  not  think  me  eitlier  stupid  or  ridiculous ; 
I  was  not  disagreeable  to  her.  I  must  take  advantage 
of  the  moment,  secure  her  affection  in  good  time ; 
and  I  racked  my  brains  to  find  means  of  making  my- 
self beloved.  Often,  vexed  by  my  steady  gaze  which 
she  did  not  understand,  she  avoided  me  as  we  avoid 
the  rays  of  sunlight  a  glass  casts  upon  us  ;  so  I  pru- 
dently waited  for  her  to  fall  asleep  that  I  might  search 
her  face  at  my  ease.  Opportunities  were  not  lacking. 
My  little  girl,  who  spent  the  whole  day  in  the  open 
air,  fell  asleep  in  an  arm-chair  almost  every  evening. 
Then  like  a  miser  who  goes  down  into  his  cellar,  very 
sure  of  not  being  watched,  I  approached  her,  taking 
a  thousand  precautions,  slipped  a  cushion  under  the 
little  sleeper's  head  by  no  means  unskilfully,  upon 
my  honor,  drew  her  little  limbs  nearer  together, 
raised  her  rounded  arms,  adjusted  the  lamp-shade, 
and  bending  over  her  on  my  knees,  feasted  my  long- 
ing eyes. 

"  Sleep,  my  treasure,  sleep  calmly,  my  little  angel ! 
How  happy  you  make  me  !  Shall  I  be  able  to  repay 
you  some  day  for  all  the  joy  you  give  me  ?  " 

And  I  listened  to  her  quiet  breathing,  saw  her 
transparent,  velvety  nostrils  rising  and  falling  regu- 
larly, her  thick  long  lashes  stirred  by  almost  imper- 
ceptible movements.  I  saw  the  satin-like  skin  of  her 
little  neck,  and  behind  her  ear,  fresh  and  pink  like 
the  petal  of  a  flower,  the  soft  curls  upon  the  nape  of 
her  neck,  half  hair,  half  down,  sucking  in  with  their 
greedy  roots  the  sweet  juices  of  this  living  cream. 

How  many  beauties  and  marvels  this  Uttle  body 
contained  !  What  will  it  be  then  when  I  enter  her 
mind  and  heart ;  when  we  shall  be  able  to  talk,  to 
think  together,  and  share  the  same  emotions  ?  What 
perplexed  me  was  the  smile  that  sometimes,  during 
her  slumbers,  curled  her  lips  and  deepened  the  dim- 
ple in  her  cheek.     I  asked  myself  what  the  cause  of 


200  EABOLAIN. 

her  amusement  could  be  ?  What  ideas  were  forming 
in  that  Uttle  head  ?  I  would  have  liked  to  know  all 
this  in  order  to  understand  her  better,  and  thereby 
obtain  more  complete  possession  of  her  heart.  One 
thing  is  certain,  my  presence  imposed  no  restraint 
upon  her,  and  I  thanked  her  for  being  happy  be- 
fore me. 

Marianne  almost  always  surprised  me  in  the  very 
act  of  adoration  ;  it  was  terrible.  I  believe  the  wom- 
an did  it  with  a  certain  spice  of  malice,  for  where  Val- 
entine was  concerned,  she  was  almost  as  jealous  as  I. 

**  It's  quite  time  for  children  to  be  put  to  bed," 
she  said,  entering  suddenly. 

"  But  you'll  wake  her.  Besides,  the  clock  is  fast, 
very  fast."  And  when,  having  carried  my  daughter 
into  her  room,  we  began  to  put  on  her  night-clothes, 
the  discussion  was  continued  in  a  low  tone.  Mari- 
anne charged  me  with  pulling  off  the  buttons,  making 
knots  in  the  strings,  committing  a  thousand  blunders, 
understanding  nothing  about  this  kind  of  work — all 
of  which  was  perfectly  true,  but  I  would  not  admit  it, 
and  defended  myself  as  well  as  I  could. 

"  Well,  the  darling  will  catch  a  cold  on  her  lungs, 
if  Monsieur  spends  half  an  hour  in  putting  on  her 
night-cap." 

It  is  true  that  I  did  not  hurry  much  ;  less,  however, 
on  account  of  my  awkwardness  than  from  a  selfish 
desire  to  prolong  my  happiness.  Often  I  have  waked 
up  in  the  night  imagining  that  I  heard  her  cough — 
pursued  incessantly  by  the  idea  of  a  cold  on  the 
lungs,  with  which  the  nurse  was  always  threatening  me. 

Ah !  the  happy  moments  I  spent.  It  must  be 
confessed  that  1  had  not  wholly  forgotten  the  past ; 
a  curl  of  my  child's  hair,  a  vague  resemblance,  a 
gesture,  a  nothing,  made  me  start,  and  many  wounds 
re-opened;  but  these  moments  were  short,  for  the 
charm  of  my  new  life  calmed  the  memories  of  for- 
mer days  by  veiling  them.     I  was  forgetting  myself. 


BABOLAIN.  20 1 

On  those  dark,  damp  days  when  the  rain  falls  in- 
cessantly, and  one  grows  sulky  in  spite  of  himself,  I 
put  on  my  great  boots  and  went  to  walk  in  the  woods. 
There,  on  seeing  the  new  shoots,  the  plants  and 
trees  revived  and  freshened,  strengthened  by  the  life- 
giving  water  they  drank  with  delight,  thinking  of  the 
roots  which  would  inhale!  moisture  and  life  from  the 
wet  soil,  I  forgot  my  ill-temper,  my  dripping  gar- 
ments, the  mud  through  which  I  was  splashing,  and 
smiled  at  the  ugly  black  clouds.  All  the  created  be- 
ings in  the  world  cannot  be  happy  at  the  same  time. 
Each  in  turn  has  his  share  of  joys  and  sorrows. 
There  are  no  useless  griefs,  for  all  counterbalance 
certain  joys.  Every  tear  that  falls  is  a  dew-drop 
which  will  give  birth  to  a  smile.  It  is  a  great  conso- 
lation, it  seems  to  me,  when  we  are  suffering,  to  say 
to  ourselves :  "  At  this  very  moment  I  am  giving  hap- 
piness to  somebody  in  the  world." 

And  then,  before  cursing  anyone  or  crying  out  to 
heaven  :  "  Sorrow,  you  overwhelm  me  !  "  we  should 
reflect  a  little,  try  different  positions  as  the  sick  do, 
for  there  is  always  one  in  which  the  wound  becomes 
endurable.  For  my  part — is  it  an  excess  of  egotism 
and  pride — I  don't  know,  but  I  have  often  found  a 
charm  in  examining  my  pain,  studying  its  details,  ob- 
serving its  progress  as  if  from  a  balcony,  opera-glass 
in  hand. 

Months,  years  elapsed  amid  the  quiet  pleasures 
with  which  I  had  filled  my  life.  An  imaginary  wall  was 
rising  between  society  and  myself  which  grew  higher 
and  more  impassable  day  by  day.  Since  I  had  set- 
tled in  the  country,  I  had  not  been  three  times  to  the 
town,  which  inspired  me  with  a  sort  of  terror.  Ber- 
nard himself  had  forgotten  the  way  to  the  house,  and 
I  knew  that  the  peasants  who  lived  around  us  consid- 
ered me  an  odd  stick,  a  little  cracked  in  the  upper 
story.  For  all  that,  however,  they  treated  me  with 
respect  on  account  of  the  rain-gauge  that  appeared 


202  B ABO  LAIN. 

above  the  hedge,  and  which  was  called  in  the  neigh- 
borhood, the  machine  for  making  rain.  Meantime 
Valentine  was  no  longer  the  child  whom  one  could 
cradle  in  one's  arms  and  lull  to  sleep  with  a  song; 
she  had  reached  that  delicate  and  charming  age 
when  the  woman  begins  to  appear  in  the  little  girl. 
By  degrees  her  mother's  features  began  to  reveal 
themselves  more  clearly  in  her  face  ;  she  had  Esther's 
manners,  gestures,  and  tones. 

At  first  I  was  troubled ;  not  because  resentment 
and  hatred  awoke  in  my  heart,  but,  on  the  contrary, 
the  memory  of  the  illusions,  the  delicious  raptures  I 
had  enjoyed.  However  thick  the  dike  with  which  we 
protect  ourselves  may  be,  a  moment  comes  when  the 
water  oozes  through  and  penetrates  it.  Past  delights 
have  echoes  which  continue  to  sound.  If  I  had  known 
how  to  understand  my  wife  better,  how  many  sor- 
rows I  might  have  escaped !  Perhaps  nature  had 
made  her  as  good  as  she  was  beautiful.  Sometimes 
proofs  of  her  goodness  and  beauty,  blending  togeth- 
er, assailed  me  in  throngs.  Ah !  if  I  could  but  com- 
mence life  anew. 

While  I  was  thinking  over  all  this,  another  source 
of  anxiety  was  gaining  upon  me.  Valentine  had  cu- 
rious ideas  I  could  not  explain,  little  coquettish  ways, 
refined  womanly  manners  that  awed  me  ;  and  the  pos- 
sibility of  exchanging  our  thoughts  and  feelings, 
which  had  been  the  brightest  of  promises,  now  ter- 
rified  me.  I  found  her  too  intelligent;  I  felt  that  I 
had  a  watchful,  inquisitive,  subtle  judge,  who  would 
soon  allow  nothing  to  escape  notice,  and  I  already  saw 
impending  jeers  —  involuntary,  inoffensive  jeers  — 
which  I  should  never  think  of  imputing  to  her  as  a 
crime  ;  poor  child,  could  she  help  being  lively  and 
witty  I  From  this  time  forth  I  watched  myself  more 
scrupulously  than  ever,  that  I  might  not  make  a  ges- 
ture, utter  a  word,  that  could  displease  her.  I  knew  by 
experience  what  a   piece  of  awkwardness  or  a  blun- 


B ABO  LAIN.  203 

der  may  cost.  The  point  in  question  now  was  not  to 
compromise  the  future — to  calculate  in  advance  the 
probable  consequences  of  my  slightest  actions,  to 
compel  her  to  love  me,  to  make  her  happy,  to  watch 
her  tastes,  to  understand  her  nature. 

Sometimes,  treating  her  like  a  Httle  woman,  I 
asked  her  advice,  appealed  to  her  experience.  During 
our  walks  I  told  her  of  my  feelings,  invited  her  to 
dream  with  me  —  then  remembering  her  age,  and 
trembling  lest  I  had  committed  some  imprudence, 
hastily  retraced  my  steps  and  energetically  began 
some  purely  imaginative  story,  full  of  the  broad  fun 
children  like.  Strange,  she  remained  grave  and 
silent,  watching  me  with  an  earnestness  that  put  me 
out  of  countenance  ;  I  sought  for  words,  my  senten- 
ces became  confused,  I  felt  that  my  gestures  had  no 
connection  with  what  I  wanted  to  say,  I  was  conscious 
of  being  pitiably  involved  ;  and  she,  after  having  no- 
ticed all  this,  withdrew  her  hand  from  mine,  murmur- 
ing :  "  Oh  !  dear,  that's  so  tiresome." 

This  confession  gave  me  actual  pain,  and  yet  I 
could  not  help  admiring  the  touching  cruelty  of  chil- 
dren, who,  careless  of  consequences,  always  say  not 
only  what  they  think,  but  all  they  think.  I  said  to 
myself:  "Valentine  has  a  mind  beyond  her  years ; 
she  will  be  a  woman  of  great  intelligence,  like  her 
mother  !"  I  ought  to  have  understood  all  this  at  once. 
Her  mind  needs  more  sohd  food.  The  time  has 
come  to  instruct  while  amusing  her  ;  yes,  I  must  do  it ; 
I  am  responsible  to  society  and  my  own  conscience. 
This  thought  thoroughly  delighted  me,  both  as  fa- 
ther and  professor.  I  was  in  my  element ;  the  toil- 
some years  of  my  youth,  my  former  triumphs,  returned 
to  my  mind,  and  I  was  grateful  to  her  who  had  indi- 
rectly awakened  these  memories.  I  reflected  deeply, 
and  as  I  considered  that  the  most  precious  treasure 
in  life  is  the  faculty  of  judging  with  accuracy,  and  an- 
alyzing everything,  I  determined  to  commence  my 


204  B ABO  LAIN. 

daughter's  education  by  the  study  of  the  natural  sci- 
ences. Ahhough  I  always  sought  for  some  ingenious 
excuse  for  instructing  her,  I  was  perhaps  wrong  in 
pursuing  my  course  of  teaching  too  closely. 

If,  for  instance,  I  wanted  to  take  Valentine  to  the 
bank  of  the  river,  far  from  imposing  my  will  upon 
her,  I  sought  by  skill  and  gentleness  to  arouse  in  her 
mind  a  desire  to  go  there.  Then  I  improvised  ex- 
cuses to  the  best  of  my  ability  ;  now  it  was  a  butter- 
fly to  be  caught,  then  a  little  farther  on  a  huge  straw- 
berry to  pluck  ;  and  by  going  from  butterfly  to  straw- 
berry, from  strawberry  to  butterfly,  we  reached  the 
bank  of  the  river.  Then  by  a  skilful  jerk,  made 
without  her  notice,  I  threw  my  straw  hat  into  the 
water. 

"  Oh  !  dear,  my  hat  has  fallen  into  the  river,"  I 
cried,  trying  to  give  the  exclamation  a  tone  of  real 
astonishment.  When  she  had  stopped  laughing,  I 
continued,  for  I  had  my  object :  "  There,  see  my  hat 
float  away,  darling.  AVhy  does  it  float  away  ?  "  I 
walked  on  a  few  steps,  and  fished  it  out  with  a  stick. 
Then,  my  premises  being  established,  I  thought  my- 
self certain  of  the  result,  and  said  boldly,  taking  her 
by  the  hand  ; 

"  I  am  sure  you  have  been  wondering  why  my  hat 
floated  away  from  us  ?  " 

"  No,  papa,  I  don't  care." 

"  Ah  !  you  haven't  wondered  about  that  !  But 
you  won't  be  any  less  glad  to  know,  for  you  are  a  lit- 
tle girl  who  wants  to  learn  :  hum-hum.  'J'he  cause 
of  this  phenomenon,  my  dear,  is  the  force  of  gravity. 
You  are  going  to  say  :  '  What  !  papa,  does  the  force 
of  gravity  make  tlie  river  flow.-""  By  this  means  I 
tried  to  give  my  demonstration  a  little  animation  and 
life. 

"I  haven't  said  anything  at  all,"  murnuned  the 
little  witch,  pulling  me  towards  the  strawberries. 

'*  You  haven't  said  it,  but  you  thought  it,  my  love  ; 


BABOLAIN. 


205 


and  really  it  isn't  easy  to  understand.  You  must  im- 
agine, in  the  first  place,  that  there  is  a  force  in  the 
middle  of  the  earth  that  attracts  everything  on  its 
surface  :  the  stones,  the  trees,  the  men,  the  houses, 
the—" 

"  Papa,  the  strawberries." 

"  Yes,  my  daughter.  We  say  bodies  are  heavy 
because  when  we  want  to  lift  them  we  have  to  strug- 
gle with  the  force  which  we  call  grav-i-ty.  Now  I 
have  finished  my  story  ;  isn't  that  very  curious  ?  " 

"  No,  papa." 

"  Now  the  water  in  the  river,  like  all  other  bodies, 
is  subject  to  the  action  of  gravity;  and  you  will  un- 
derstand in  an  instant  why  my  hat — " 

"  But,  papa,  what  difference  does  it  make,  so  long 
as  you've  caught  it  again  ?  " 

"  Of  course,  but " —  Should  I  persist  or  keep  si- 
lent ?  It  is  true  that  by  continuing  I  was,  thanks  to 
an  accidental  circumstance,  engraving  upon  her  mem- 
ory a  valuable  scientific  idea;  but  on  the  other  hand, 
should  I  not  fatigue  and  annoy  her  by  making  too 
prolonged  a  claim  upon  her  attention  t  And  as  Val- 
entine pulled  me  nearer  and  nearer  to  the  strawber- 
ries, a  sudden  inspiration  came  to  me.  I  gathered 
one,  and  holding  it  carefully  between  my  fingers  by 
the  fragile  stalk,  said :  "  Even  this  fruit  is  subject  to 
the  laws  of  gravity ;  and  a  proof  of  it  is,  that  if  I  drop 
it,  it  will  make  every  effort  to  go  towards  the  cen- 
tre of  the  earth  which  attracts  it.  In  fact,  you  see  I 
open  my  fingers  and  leave  the  fruit  to  itself — what 
does  it  do  ?     It  falls — " 

Unluckily  I  could  not  finish  my  sentence,  for  Val- 
entine, with  a  bound,  hastily  snatched  the  strawberry 
and  ate  it,  laughing  heartily. 

"  It  won't  do  to  insist,"  I  thought  to  myself;  "  to 
insist  would  be  to  compromise  the  future.  I  have 
been  imprudent ;  I  went  to  work  the  wrong  way. 
It's  really  fortunate  she  stopped  me  by  her  roguish 


206  BABOLAIN. 

prank,  for  I  might  perhaps  have  forever  deprived  the 
wonderful  principles  of  gravity  of  all  poetry.  \V'hat 
can  be  more  attractive  to  a  young  mind  than  to  raise 
the  veil  which  conceals  these  great  laws  of  the  uni- 
verse ?  Another  time  I  will  prepare  my  exordium 
more  carefully,  and  find  a  more  roundabout  way 
of  entering  upon  the  subject." 

Meantime  it  became  evident  that  my  daughter 
was  resolutely  determined  to  avoid  our  instructive 
conversations.  It  was  useless  for  me  to  divide  my 
pills  into  the  smallest  possible  fragments  and  wrap 
each  in  the  most  fragrant  honey;  the  child  smelt  the 
drug  and  fled  at  full  speed.  In  vain  did  I  beg  and 
entreat  her;  in  vain  did  I  show  her  glimpses  of  the 
poetic  side  of  human  knowledge — all  was  useless. 
She  did  not  recover  her  usual  good-humor  until  she 
was  set  at  liberty,  and  could  rejoin  her  nurse  and 
help  her  pick  beans,  or  si)read  the  clothes  upon  the 
hedges  in  the  kitchen  garden.  Yet  I  had  a  mission, 
a  duty  to  fulfil;  wiiat  was  to  be  done.'  I  followed 
her  with  a  sorrowful  gaze  as  she  made  her  escape 
and  ran  into  the  sunlight;  I  shivered  as  1  heard  the 
sound  of  her  laugh,  and  grew  more  and  more  jealous 
of  tile  fat  peasant  woman  with  the  red  nose  and  mer- 
ry eyes,  who,  without  any  eftbrt,  knew  how  to  make 
herself  beloved.  I  bore  her  a  grudge  for  being  mer- 
ry, cheerful,  faithful ;  for  having  given  my  cliild  every 
proof  of  affection  ;  I  grudged  her  the  privilege  of 
dressing  her  every  morning,  of  braiding  her  fair  silk- 
en iiair,  which  I  would  so  gladly  have  dressed  if  I 
had  been  allowed  ;  I  hated  lier  because  she  made 
the  cherry  tarts  of  which  Valentine  was  fond — in 
short,  I  was  jealous,  and  suffered  deeply.  "  I  have 
base  feelings,"  I  said  to  myself;  "and  if  this  Mari- 
anne, ignorant  and  superstitious  as  she  was,  should 
have  a  baneful  influence  over  my  child,  would  it 
not  be  my  duty  to  send  her  away  .''  " 

And  suddenly  calming  myself,  I  added:  "1  have 


BABOLAIN.  207 

not  even  the  courage  to  be  frank  with  myself.  I 
slander  the  best  of  women  because  she  is  loved  and 
I  am  not." 

Yet  my  daughter  was  really  very  much  attached 
to  me ;  I  knew  it  by  the  love  I  felt  for  her.  My  awk- 
wardness was  the  sole  obstacle  between  us.  I  had 
never  known  how  to  go  to  work  the  right  way. 

Since  that  time  I  have  analyzed  all  this,  and  col- 
lected many  ideas  which  would  have  been  useful  if  I 
had  had  them  before.  The  little  women  we  call  young 
girls  are  assailed  by  a  thousand  capricious  fancies,  a 
thousand  indefinable  whims,  against  which  they  can 
struggle  only  by  trusting  themselves  to  a  mind  they 
know  to  be  destitute  of  weaknesses.  They  are  grate- 
ful to  the  energetic  person  who  compels  them  to 
come  out  of  themselves,  and  delivers  them  from  the 
notions  that  have  taken  possession  of  their  minds. 

How  many  times  they  pursue  with  their  persist- 
ent caprices  the  man  who  loves  them  in  order  to 
put  him  to  the  test — to  feel  their  way.  It  is  not 
that  they  wish  to  make  game  of  him.  Their  conduct 
is  instinctive  ;  is  it  not' natural  to  test  the  firmness 
of  a  stick  before  one  leans  upon  it !  How  well  they 
know  that  their  great  desires  are  extravagant,  their 
temptations  inadmissible;  and  how  humiliated  and 
lonely  they  feel  when  through  weakness  people  ap- 
prove of  them  when  a  frank  refusal  would  deliver 
them  !  They  do  not  seek  a  master,  but  an  infallible 
friend  to  choose  and  cull  from  amid  the  confused 
mass  of  their  fleeting  impressions. 

I  had  never  had  the  strength  to  be  this  friend. 
Even  on  the  unlucky  days  when  Valentine  persisted 
in  not  understanding  an  explanation  twenty  times  re- 
peated, the  tone  of  my  voice  never  expressed  impa- 
tience ;  it  was  my  way  of  loving  her.  I  had  never 
known  how  to  manifest  my  aifection  except  by  sur- 
rounding her  with  an  atmosphere  of  patience  and 
gentleness,  making  her  hours  equally  pleasant  and 


208  B  ABO  LAIN. 

happy  ;  so  that  my  little  darling's  position  was  like 
that  of  a  person  living  on  the  banks  of  those  pure, 
tranquil  lakes  which  one  cannot  look  at  long  without 
feeling  a  desire  to  trouble  their  calmness  by  throwing 
a  stone  into  their  depths.  My  patience,  which  some- 
what too  nearly  resembled  docility,  irritated  her ;  she 
felt  her  mischievous  mood  increase  in  proportion  as 
I  deprived  her  of  excuses  for  manifesting  it.  She 
was  tempted  to  get  the  better  of  my  gentleness,  which 
she  had  never  seen  exhausted  :  curiosity  soon  min- 
gled with  the  wish,  and  she  became  very  naughty  ;  the 
poor  darling  was  aware  of  it,  and  the  vexation  she 
felt  increased  her  ill-humor.  She  could  not  help  it ; 
why  did  we  not  check  it?  Why  did  we  not  assert  au- 
thority over  her  .''    ^Vas  it  her  fault  .'' 

Dissatisfied  with  herself,  she  was  angry  with  oth- 
ers, which  was  very  natural ;  we  always  seek  for  the 
root  of  the  ill  weeds  that  spring  up  in  us,  in  our 
neighbors'  homes.  She  loved  me,  undoubtedly,  but 
it  was  with  a  somewhat  compassionate  tenderness, 
for  she  knew  too  well  that  my  fate  was  in  her  little 
hands. 

And  then  my  caresses  were  never  given  at  the 
right  moment.  Nothing  is  more  cavalierly  received 
than  a  kiss  that  is  not  wanted ;  and  even  a  guardian 
angel,  who  conversed  with  his  proteg6  every  instant 
in  the  day  about  his  future  plans  and  his  solici- 
tude, would  become  very  wearisome  in  a  short  lime. 
1  understood  all  this  afterwards. 

Both  large  and  small  children  easily  become  in- 
toxicated with  what  is  arbitrary,  and  tlie  difference 
between  tlie  possible  and  impossible  soon  vanishes 
entirely.  My  Valentine  set  her  pretty  little  foot  in 
tiiis  path.  She  commanded,  ordered,  regulated  ev- 
erything in  the  house  ;  but  her  voice  was  so  well  mod- 
ulated, she  was  so  charming  in  her  role  of  mistress 
— it  was  a  pleasure  to  bend  one's  neck  to  her  yoke. 
"  How  precocious,"  I  thought ;  "  she  does  whatever  she 


B  ABO  LAIN. 


209 


chooses  with  us !  What  clearness  in  her  ideas,  what 
precision  of  sight !  She  has  a  critical  judgment,  and 
no  timidity,  no  indecision — the  two  defects  she  might 
have  inherited  from  me,  and  from  which  I  had  suf- 
fered so  much."  It  was  very  natural  that,  being  gifted 
in  this  exceptional  manner,  she  should  like  to  give 
orders,  to  have  them  executed  promptly,  to  prove 
her  evident  superiority.  I  loved  even  the  impatient 
words  and  little  tits  of  temper  that  made  my  beloved 
daughter's  eyes  sparkle  more  brightly,  and  deepened 
the  color  in  her  cheek.  Her  way  of  making  the 
boards  in  the  floor  creak  startled  me  ;  it  was  no  mere 
noise,  but  music  whose  echo  charmed  my  ear  long 
after  it  had  ceased.  My  child's  beauty  so  vividly  re- 
called her  mother's,  that  at  times,  when  absorbed  in 
reverie,  Esther  and  Valentine  became  merged  into 
one  person  ;  the  present,  the  past,  and  the  future 
blended  together.  In  the  depths  of  my  heart  I  felt 
deep  sorrow  or  extravagant  joy  over  the  merest  tri- 
fles ;  and  thus  concentrating  my  whole  existence 
upon  a  single  thought,  strove  to  render  the  hermit- 
like existence  in  which  the  whole  world  was  con- 
tained to  me,  more  narrow  still. 

One  day  when  I  was  putting  my  grapes  into  bags, 
Marianne  informed  me  that  the  cure  of  Favras  want- 
ed to  speak  to  me.  I  was  greatly  surprised,  for  no 
one  ever  came  to  the  house,  and  there  must  be  some 
important  reason  to  bring  the  priest  to  my  door.  I 
had  scarcely  descended  the  ladder  when  I  saw  Mon- 
sieur le  cure  himself  coming  down  the  walk  towards 
me.  He  was  a  very  affable  man,  with  a  smiling  face, 
and,  seeming  touched  as  he  perceived  my  embarrass- 
ment, bowed  very  courteously. 

"  Monsieur,"  said  he,  "  pray  excuse  the  step  I 
have  taken  if  it  is  intrusive,  but  I  thought  it  my  duty 
to  come  and  request  a  moment's  conversation  with 
you." 

Then  with  great  caution  and  kindness  he  spoke 
14 


2IO  B ABO  LAIN. 

of  Valentine,  whom  he  had  seen  several  times,  praised 
her  grace,  her  personal  charms,  and  the  moral  quali- 
ties of  which  these  external  attractions  must  be 
merely  the  expression. 

^Vhat  was  he  driving  at  ?  What  did  it  matter  to 
him  whether  my  child  was  charming  or  disagreeable, 
beautiful  or  pretty?  He  spoke  of  the  sympathy  and 
admiration  the  inhabitants  of  the  town  felt  for  her, 
and  also  the  sorrowful  surprise  caused  by  the  strange 
solitude  to  which  the  poor  little  girl  seemed  to  be 
condemned:  there  were  duties  parents  could  not  es- 
cape ;  the  society  and  friendship  of  other  children 
was  an  inevitable  necessity  ;  and  religious  instruction, 
so  long  withheld  from  Valentine,  was  a  benefit  of 
which  she  could  not  be  deprived  without  positive 
crime.  Seeing  the  impression  his  words  made,  the 
priest,  while  redoubling  the  affability  of  his  manner, 
spoke  to  me  more  plainly,  and  1  learned  that  the  peo- 
ple in  the  neighborhood  considered  me  a  monstrous 
being,  a  detestable  tyrant,  and  he  himself  had  obeyed 
the  indignation  of  the  whole  town  in  paying  me  this 
visit. 

"  But  Monsieur  le  cur6,"  said  I  with  deep  emo- 
tion, for  I  felt  myself  threatened  with  a  great  danger, 
"  1  have  never  had  but  one  thought,  to  make  my 
daughter  happy — she  is  still  a  mere  child ;  she  is — 
dear  me,  I  don't  know  her  age  exactly,  but  she  is  a 
child  1  assure  you — we  have  been  so  happy.  You 
can't  imagine  how  pleasant  our  life  is,  she  would  tell 
you  so  herself." 

"Take  care  that  your  somewhat  too  jealous  affec- 
tion does  not  seem  blind  egotism  to  the  eyes  of  the 
malevolent.  In  fact,  might  not  people  believe  that  in 
imposing  so  unusual  a  life  upon  your  dear  child,  you 
think  more  of  gratifying  your  own  tastes  than  of  se- 
curing her  happiness .'" 

1  remained  silent  for  a  long  time ;  many  old  sor- 
rows awoke,  a  veil  was  suddenly  torn,  and  the  proof 


BABOLAIA^  211 

appeared  as  clear  and  cruel  as  a  sword.  No  longer 
able  to  control  myself,  I  took  the  priest's  hands  in 
mine,  and  said  with  a  tone  of  despairing  frankness  : 

"Yes,  Monsieur,  you  are  right:  I  think  only  of 
myself,  I  have  never  thought  of  any  one  else  :  I  am  a 
bad  father  as  I  was  a  bad  husband.    I  feel,  I  see  it." 

"  Calm  yourself,  my  dear  Monsieur  Babolain,  I 
have  doubtless  expressed  my  meaning  badly;  forgive 
me  for  causing  this  grief." 

"  Let  me  tell  you  all,  I  beg  of  you ;  at  heart  I  am 
neither  a  hypocrite  nor  a  liar.  My  selfishness  is  so 
deeply  rooted  that  I  am  usually  unaware  of  it ;  I  am 
a  wretched  man ;  scorn  me,  you  think  me  a  pitiful 
object,  do  you  not  ?  And  yet,  in  the  course  of  my  life, 
I  have  had  every  chance  of  happiness,  but  alas !  I 
have  ruined,  withered  every  thing  around  me,  and 
wished  to  condemn  my  child  to  breathe  the  same  air, 
although  I  love  her  most  devotedly.  Oh  !  God,  if  I 
must  always  be  a  source  of  trouble  to  her,  always 
bring  misfortune  upon  her,  it  would  perhaps  be  bet- 
ter to  kill  myself." 

"Those  are  terrible  words  and  ought  not  to  have 
come  from  the  lips  of  a  father,  a  scientific  man,  a 
philosopher,  even  if  the  philosopher  were  not  a 
Christian." 

"  It  is  because  I  know  what  I  am,  Monsieur  le 
cur6!  I  suffer  cruelly,  and  I  feel  that  my  sufferings  are 
deserved ;  that  is  all.  Then  the  people  in  the  town 
know  that  my  daughter  also  seeks  to  fly  from  me,  to 
shun  me?  They  know  she  instinctively  recoils  from 
me  as  from  a  wretch  who  ought  never  to  have  been 
born." 

The  good  cur6  was  an  excellent  man.  He  offered 
me  his  friendship,  entreated  me  to  have  confidence 
in  him,  and  promised  that  if  I  would  allow  him  to 
take  charge  of  Valentine  he  would  make  her  the 
gentlest,  most  affectionate  of  daughters,  bind  the  ties 
that  united  me  to  her  still  more  closely,  and  destroy 


212  BAB  OLA  IN. 

the  bad  opinion  of  me  prevalent  In  the  neighbor- 
hood. He  made  the  acts  ray  duty  imposed  perfectly 
clear,  and  assured  me  that  he  would  find  means  to 
render  them  easy.  In  short,  he  possessed  such  per- 
suasive eloquence,  gentleness  and  goodness,  that  I 
gratefully  consented  to  everything. 

"  It's  because  I  have  never  been  separated  from 
her,  Monsieur  le  cure,"  I  murmured,  as  I  took  leave 
of  him.  "  She  really  loves  me — I  say  it  without  pride 
— too  long  an  absence  would  be  painful  to  her — al- 
though perhaps  she  would  not  venture  to  acknowl- 
edge it.  And  then,  if  the  roads  should  be  damp,  if  it 
should  rain,  her  little  feet — her  throat  has  always 
been  delicate.  Monsieur  le  cure." 

"  Oh  !  of  course,  of  course.  Do  you  suppose  we 
would  expose  your  daughter  to  a  fit  of  sickness  ? 
If  the  weather  is  bad,  a  carriage  will  come  for  her 
and  bring  her  back ;  ten  people  in  the  town,  beginning 
with  myself,  will  be  happy  to  do  her  this  little  ser- 
vice." 

"  Isn't  the  church  too  cold  ?  " 

"  We  will  have  a  foot  stove  ;  we  must  take  care 
of  l)0th  body  and  soul,  ha  I  ha  !  ha  !  mats  sana — 
Good-l)ye,  my  dear  Monsieur  Babolain." 

'I'he  first  time  Valentine  left  the  house  to  go  to 
the  catechism  class,  accompanied  by  Marianne,  I 
ibllowed  her  with  my  eyes  a  long  lime.  1  had  given 
her  careful  directions  early  in  the  morning,  and  put 
in  her  pocket  a  silk  handkerchief,  a  piece  of  choco- 
late, and  three  gum  balls.  When  I  saw  her  merry 
and  talkative,  selecting  her  prettiest  ribbon  to  fasten 
her  l:)raids,  her  freshest  dress,  her  most  becoming  hat, 
bursting  into  shouts  of  laughter  and  bowing  to  her- 
self in  the  glass,  I  tried  to  be  gay  that  I  might  not 
damp  her  joy.  J5ut  now  that  I  was  alone  and  watch- 
ed her  going  down  the  palii,  1  felt  a  keen  pang  in 
my  lieart.  "Alas!  this  is  the  beginning,"  I  thought, 
*'  the  wings  are  unfolded  ;  she  is  Hying  away,  she  is 


BABOLAIN.  213 

leaving  me,  and  this  separation  seems  to  her  a  deliv- 
erance. She  does  not  know  how  to  conceal  her 
feelings,  dear  little  thing.  I  wearied  her,  made  her 
unhappy,  everybody  noticed  it  except  myself.  Who, 
since  the  hour  I  was  born,  has  ever  been  able  to  en- 
dure my  society  without  complaint?  I  could  still  see 
her  blue  dress  gleaming  in  the  sunlight  as  she  cross- 
ed the  fields,  her  straw  hat  relieved  against  the  green 
hedges,  and  her  little  white  legs  bounding  gayly 
along.  No  doubt  she  will  turn  at  the  corner  of  the 
path  to  wave  her  hand  to  me — will  she  turn  ?  It 
would  be  so.  little  trouble." 

She  did  not  think  of  it.  Still  skipping  merrily  on, 
she  continued  her  way  and  disappeared. 

"  It  is  a  law  of  nature,"  I  thought,  "  that  each  has 
his  share  of  individuality;  what  right  have  I  over 
her  ?  Because  I  am  cold,  is  it  any  reason  why  I 
should  take  her  warmth  ?  Ought  I  to  strengthen  my 
old  withered  body  with  her  young  red  blood,  stimu- 
late my  old  age  with  her  gayety,  her  youth,  her  illu- 
sions .''  She  owes  me  nothing,  it  is  I  who  am  her 
debtor.  In  exacting  a  smile  I  take  advantage  of  her, 
I  rob  her,  I  am  happy  at  her  expense,  I  stifle,  crush 
her.  If  you  can  only  live  by  clinging  to  this  young 
branch,  cease  to  be  harmful  and  parasitical,  fall  to 
the  ground  and  at  least  fertilize  the  soil,  cease  to  be 
somebody  and  become  something."  Could  I  be  com- 
mitting the  folly  of  complaining  ?  Does  the  seed  the 
wind  bears  away  and  places  on  a  barren  soil  com- 
plain of  its  fate  and  envy  the  other  seed  which  grows 
in  the  next  field  ?  Is  not  the  law  that  condemns  one 
being  to  die  without  issue,  and  another  to  leave  de- 
scendants, that  makes  one  handsome  and  gay,  anoth- 
er ugly  and  sad,  a  wise  and  salutary  one  ?  Nothing 
is  useless  in  this  world  ;  the  grain  of  dust  that  whirls 
through  the  air  is  no  more  given  up  to  chance  than 
the  planets  that  revolve  through  space.  Have  I  ever 
complained  that  an  equation  was  inflexible  and  un- 


214  BAB  O LAIN. 

yielding  ?  Well !  what  are  the  beings  who  think  or 
vegetate ;  what  are  the  things  that  transform  their 
shapes,  blend  together,  and  succeed  each  other,  but 
the  innumerable  terms  of  the  supreme  equation  of 
whose  unknown  quantity  we  are  ignorant  ?  Is  it  not 
something,  after  all,  to  feel  one's  self  a  necessary 
atom  in  the  progress  of  the  great  problem,  to  prove 
that  one's  own  sorrows  are  not  the  result  of  a  caprice 
or  fancy,  but  the  inevitable  and  sublime  consequence 
of  the  divine  law  that  governs  us  all  ? 

I  looked  at  my  watch — it  was  an  age  since  Valen- 
tine had  left  me.  If  only  there  were  no  draughts  of 
air  in  the  church  !  How  agitated  and  troubled  she 
must  be  among  all  those  strange  faces  !  They  must 
have  overwhelmed  her  with  intrusive  questions,  and 
she  was  so  delicate,  so  sensitive.  What  is  she  doing 
now?  Perhaps  she  will  come  home  with  tears  in  her 
eyes — have  I  not  been  cruel  in  exposing  her  to  this 
trial?  For  my  part,  I  should  have  liked  to  have  her 
return  with  a  swelling  heart,  cured  forever  of  all  lik- 
ing for  the  town  and  its  happiness.  But  no  such 
thing  happened.  The  doctor  brought  her  back  him- 
self with  a  pair  of  horses,  and  when  my  daughter 
sprang  to  the  ground,  her  eyes  were  sparkling,  her 
cheeks  flushed,  and  her  lips  briglit  with  smiles. 

"  You  see,  my  friend,  1  bring  her  back  in  good 
health,"  said  Bernard,  clapping  me  kindly  on  the 
shoulder.  "  Ah !  I  owed  you  a  grudge  for  your  shy- 
ness, but  we'll  say  no  more  about  it.  Your  Valentine 
is  a  charming  creature,  and  lias  taken  Favras  by 
storm.  No  one  could  be  more  graceful  and  attract- 
ive, and  besides  she  is  as  pretty  as  an  angel.  We 
won't  say  that  too  loud,  although  I  fancy  the  revela- 
tion wouldn't  surprise  her  very  much." 

"Indeed!  did  they  really  think  her  charming?" 
I  forced  a  smile,  for  these  jjraises  caused  me  both 
pleasure  and  pain.  My  child's  admirers  were  so 
many  intruders  forcing  themselves  between  myself 


BABOLAIiV.  215 

and  her.  Now  she  would  make  exertions  to  please 
these  people.  From  this  day  forth  Valentine  was 
suddenly  transformed.  Always  merry  and  good  hu- 
mored, she  sang,  danced,  eat  with  an  appetite  she 
had  never  had  before,  told  us  the  news  and  tittle-tat- 
tle of  the  town  in  such  a  comical  way  that  Marianne, 
suddenly  overwhelmed  with  mirth,  broke  the  dishes. 
She  drew  this  one's  portrait,  imitated  the  other's 
voice,  related  the  attentions  of  which  she  had  been  the 
obj  ect.  I  thought  that  she  had  a  great  deal  of  intellect, 
that  she  was  made  to  shine  and  please,  and  that  I 
should  perhaps  witness  her  triumphs.  While  she 
was  continuing  her  pranks- 1  watched  her  with  a  sor- 
rowful glance,  until  throwing  her  arms  around  my 
neck  she  would  cry :  "  Dance  with  me,  papa,"  and 
there  was  no  resisting  her  \  I  was  obliged  to  raise 
my  dressing  gown,  and  shy,  ridiculous,  yet  happy, 
begin  to  dance. 

I  fixed  my  mind  upon  it,  but  my  lips  murmured 
in  a  low  tone,  one,  two,  three,  while  she  hummed  the 
air  of  a  waltz,  bent  her  graceful  figure,  turned  her 
head  aside  and  smiled  at  the  glass. 

As  the  good  cure  of  B'avras  had  told  me,  my 
dear  daughter's  fits  of  impatience,  disobedience  and 
rebellion,  gradually  disappeared.  It  is  true  that,  van- 
quished, overwhelmed  by  the  unaccustomed  tokens  of 
aff"ection  she  lavished  upon  me,  I  no  longer  dared  to 
open  my  lips,  asking  nothing,  accepting  everything, 
allowing  the  last  fragments  of  my  authority  to  crum- 
ble away,  while  I  enjoyed  to  the  best  of  my  ability 
the  quick,  constant  caresses  with  which  she  seemed 
to  pay  for  her  independence. 

I  knew  these  threads  of  gold  and  silk  with  which 
I  was  surrounded  were  so  many  bonds  that  would  par- 
alyze and  reduce  me  to  obedience,  but  what  did  it 
matter  ?  She  was  obliged  to  busy  herself  about  me 
in  order  to  hold  me  captive ;  it  was  necessary  that  her 
little  hand  should  constantly  draw  these  threads  and 


5l6  B  ABO  LAIN. 

flutter  around  me,  and  all  these  attentions  bore  so 
close  a  resemblance  to  affection.  Besides,  I  said  to 
myself:  "  Since  I  am  incapable  of  guiding  her,  I 
ought  to  frankly  confess  my  helplessness  and  submit 
to  the  consequences.  I  must  keep  in  the  background  ; 
what  have  I  to  teach  her  ?  It  is  ridiculous  to  wish 
to  inoculate  her  by  force  with  my  ideas  and  theories, 
which  I  know  are  detestable.  She  is  a  woman  al- 
ready and  I  must  respect  her  individuality  in  every- 
thing. So  I  yielded  what  had  long  since  been  snatch- 
ed away  from  me.  How  many  sovereigns,  when  violent- 
ly expelled  by  their  subjects,  write  in  exile  their  act  of 
abdication,  and  give  themselves  the  consolation  of 
disposing  of  a  crown  which  was  shattered  upon  their 
heads. 

Already  sure  of  her  own  power,  Valentine  as- 
sumed the  reins  of  government  and  soon  had  her  re- 
lations, her  habits,  made  herself  a  mode  of  life  apart 
from  mine,  and  was  amazed  that  I  should  remain  as 
if  overlooked,  cowering  in  my  corner.  She  was  right, 
for  1  cut  a  sorry  figure.  She  scolded  me  about  the 
old-fashioned  cut  of  my  clothes,  she  did  not  want  to 
have  to  blush  for  her  father,  required  him  to  be  in 
the  present  style,  to  wear  fresh  gloves,  to  become 
foppish — and  when  I  answered  smiling  :  "  What  is 
the  use,  my  darling!"  she  had  an  impatient,  witty, 
charming  way  of  answering  : 

"  Your  opinion  isn't  asked.  Monsieur.  Oh  I  how 
unfortunate  it  is  to  have  an  obstinate  papa." 

"  You  are  laughing  at  me,  don't  you  know  I  do 
everything  you  wish  ?  " 

She  became  serious,  and  began  to  read  silently  in 
a  corner  like  a  very  submissive  little  girl  wiio  has  just 
borne  an  unjust  reproof.  1  said  to  myself,  looking  at 
her  out  of  the  corner  of  my  eye,  "  1  have  wounded 
her  unintentionally;  of  course  she  misunderstood  my 
words,  I  really  seemed  to  be  reproaciiing  her  for  the 
influence  she  has  over  me."     1  tried  to  find  some  pre- 


BABOLAIN.  217 

text  for  resuming  the  conversation,  and  soon  mur- 
mured with  tlie  awkwardness  of  a  man  whose  con- 
science is  not  quite  clear  : 

"Valentine,  my  daughter,  what  are  you  going  to 
have  for  dinner  this  evening?" 

"  I  don't  know." 

"  Are  you  vexed,  my  little  Valentine  ?  " 

"  I  have  no  right  to  judge  my  father's  conduct. 
People  can  suffer  without  complaining,"  she  said  with 
the  tone  of  a  woman  of  thirty,  "  and  I  do  not  com- 
plain." 

"  I  make  you  suffer,  my  child  !  You  are  not  speak- 
ing seriously.  You  didn't  understand  me,  you  mis- 
understood me,  I  assure  you."  I  kissed  her  hands 
and  added  in  a  low  tone:  "You  know  very  well  I 
love  you  more  than  my  life,  more  than  everything.  It 
is  true,  my  little  angel,  it  is  perfectly  true.  Won't 
you  smile  upon  your  awkward  old  father,  who  is  con- 
stantly doing  foolish  things  without  meaning  it.-*" 

"  Well,  yes,  I  am  angry,  because  I  am  always 
alone  like  an  orphan,  because  people  never  see  you 
in  town  and  must  think  you  hate  me." 

"  Who  told  you  that  ?  Who  is  the  wretch  who  told 
you  that  ?  oh  !  " 

"  Dear  me,  parents  are  generally  glad  to  go  with 
their  children,  to  witness  their  little  triumphs — the 
other  day  in  the  procession,  I  cried." 

"  You,  my  darhng,  you  wept,  wept  in  the  proces- 
sion." 

"  Of  course,  for  I  said  to  myself:  '  If  my  father 
loved  me,  he  would  be  near  me.'  And  then  when 
everybody  came  up  to  congratulate  me  because  I  sang 
well — I  was  still  more  sad." 

"  I  will  go  with  you,"  I  said  suddenly.  "  Not  love 
you  ?  You  an  orphan  !  Never  say  that  word."  It 
seemed  as  if  I  heard  my  wife  sobbing  and  calling  me 
to  an  account  for  my  conduct.  "  No  one  is  loved 
more    fondly  than  you,  my  darling.     Oh  !  Ill  go,  I'll 


5!  1 8  B ABO  LAIN. 

go  with  you  everywhere  now.  An  orphan  !  I  was 
afraid  of  being  in  your  way.  And  then  I  am  a  Uttle 
— awkward  you  know.  I  see  what  must  be  done,  I 
know  how  to  give  myself  orders,  but  I  have  great  dif- 
ficulty in  obeying.  What  is  very  natural  to  others  is 
not  always  so  to  me.  I  tell  you  this  that  you  may  be 
indulgent,  my  little  pet.  You  will  hear  a  great  many 
things  said  of  me.  People  have  judged  me  severely 
with  good  reason,  but  don''t  form  an  opinion  of  your 
father  hastily,my  love,  I  beg  of  you — I  have  had  many 
little  obstacles  in  my  life — Fll  tell  you  all  about  it 
some  day — don't  judge  me  until  you  know  me.  When 
you  don't  understand  me,  say  without  fear :  '  Papa, 
why  do  you  think  so,  why  do  you  do  that.-"  It's  an  er- 
ror, papa,  you  are  mistaken,  you  have  your  old  ideas 
again.'  It  will  give  me  so  much  pleasure  if  you  will 
treat  me  as  a  friend.  I  shall  have  such  happiness  in 
confiding  my  thoughts  to  you.  You  will  never  say 
again  that  you  are — you  know,  the  ugly  word  you 
used  just  now." 

"  Then  you  will  come  to  mass  on  Sunday  ? " 
"  Yes,  yes,  my  daughter,  wherever  you  wish,  to  ves- 
pers too,  everywhere." 

"  You'll  take  me  to  the  doctor's  fete  ?  " 

"  What  fete  ?  Will  there  be  many  people 
there  ?  " 

"  Don't  you  know  that  Monsieur  Bernard  is  going 
to  give  a  breakfast  at  the  mill  for  his  son,  who  has 
come  to  spend  his  vacation  here  ?  " 

"  True,  this  is  August.  Well,  we'll  go  and  break- 
fast at  the  mill  if  you  wish.  We  won't  be  parted  from 
each  other  again.     Will  it  really  please  you?  " 

"  Of  course  it  will." 

"  How  good  you  are,  my  child,  if  you  only  knew 
what  happiness  you  cause  me  !  " 

"  You'll  go  to  Blois  to  buy  some  gloves  ?  " 

"  That  is  true,  gloves.  You  think  I  neglect  my- 
self, don't  you  ? " 


B ABO  LAIN.  219 

"  It  is  God's  will  that  we  should  pay  a  little  atten- 
tion to  our  dress  when  we  go  to  His  house." 

"  Wc  must  not  offend  God.  I  will  get  some  nice 
gloves." 

"  Yellow  ones  ;  and  patent  leather  boots  ;  all  the 
gentlemen  have  them.  You  will  be  able  to  have  your 
hair  cut  at  the  same  time,  papa — and  bring  me  my 
dress  from  the  dress-maker's,  you  know,  on  the  main 
street.  People  generally  think  your  daughter  tolera- 
bly pretty,  Monsieur  papa,  and  you  will  only  be  do- 
ing your  duty  if  you  go  to  a  little  expense  to  act  as 
her  cavaher." 

"  Of  course ;  especially  if  I  please  God  at  the 
same  time.     Do  you  want  me  to  kiss  you  now  ?" 

"  I  have  a  great  mind  to  refuse  you  for  your  im- 
piety." 

It  seems  that  my  appearance  in  the  town  pro- 
duced a  sensation.  I  have  learned  since  that  Mari- 
anne was  eagerly  questioned  about  all  the  particulars- 
of  my  conversion.  Had  I  seen  a  spectre,  had  I  con- 
fessed, did  I  keep  the  rogation  days,  how  did  I  con- 
duct myself  at  Easter  ?  All  that  time  I  was  very  far 
from  thinking  that  my  actions  could  excite  curiosity 
to  such  a  degree. 

When  I  saw  my  Valentine  in  pubUc,  surrounded 
and  petted ;  when  I  perceived  the  attention  her  beauty, 
grace  and  wit  procured ;  when  I  even  felt,  so  to  speak, 
the  foam  that  dashed  from  it  myself — I  was  agitated  as 
I  had  been  during  the  most  solemn  days  of  my  life. 
I  had  never  seen  my  child  under  such  circumstances. 
I  was  terrified,  and  yet  at  the  same  time  experienced 
a  sensation  of  pride,  wholly  new  to  me ;  I  was  the 
father  of  a  brilliant,  charming  young  girl,  whom 
everybody  admired.  The  ladies  surrounded  her, 
praised  her  good  taste,  the  beauty  of  her  dress,  the 
graceful  way  in  which  she  arranged  her  hair.  The 
gentlemen,  the  doctor's  son  at  their  head,  little  Jo- 
seph whom  I  had  known  as  a  child,  crowded  about 


230  BABOLAIN. 

her,  bowed  to  her  respectfuHy,  spoke  to  her  with  an 
eagerness  which  clearly  proved  their  enthusiasm ; 
while  she,  suddenly  transformed,  responded  to  every- 
thing with  wonderful  grace  and  ease,  accepting  the 
homage  as  perfectly  natural. 

I  stood  before  her  and  devoured  her  with  my 
eyes.  It  was  my  daughter,  she  was  mine,  and  I  could 
not  conquer  this  feeling  of  possession.  If  she  smiled 
I  smiled  too ;  I  instinctively  repeated  her  gestures  and 
thanked  her  with  a  look  when  people  complimented 
her. 

When  this  first  moment  was  over,  it  seemed  as  if 
people  were  not  paying  me  sufficient  attention.  So 
they  did  not  remember  that  we  were  united  by  the 
strongest  ties  in  the  world.  I  should  have  accepted 
half  her  triumph  without  either  embarrassment  or 
timidity.  My  daughter,  after  all,  was  myself.  True, 
all  these  people  were  on  terms  of  far  closer  intimacy 
with  her  than  I  had  ever  been.  This  was  a  very  sur- 
prising misunderstanding.  Perhaps,  from  motives  of 
delicacy,  she  had  wished  to  remain  a  child  at  home, 
that  familiarity  might  be  rendered  easier.  She  had 
feared  that  I  might  he  intimidated  if  1  saw  her  be- 
coming a  woman.  I'm  such  an  odd  stick,  and  she  is  so 
observant. 

A  feverish  restlessness  took  possession  of  me.  I 
too  wished  to  make  a  part  of  this  privileged  public  on 
which  she  smiled;  to  cease  to  be  the  timid,  trenibling 
little  old  man  for  whom  she  must  blush.  Henceforth  I 
must  keep  my  place,  show  myself  worthy  of  her,  and 
forgetting  the  obstacles  against  which  I  had  so  often 
jostled,  driving  away  all  fear,  I  threw  myself  head 
foremost  into  the  pleasures  of  the  town  as  a  gay  man 
plunges  into  the  infernal  whirlpool  of  worldly  dissi- 
pation. From  that  time,  I  mingled  in  every  conversa- 
tion with  my  little  rasping  voice,  bustled  about, 
elbowed  my  way,  interrupted  everybody,  and  the  con- 
straint I  imposed  upon  myself  in  order  to  play  a  part 


B ABO  LAIN.  221 

SO  far  beyond  my  powers,  increased  my  excitement. 
By  degrees  I  persuaded  myself  that  in  this  desperate 
contest  I  was  fighting  for  my  daughter,  for  her  hap- 
piness, defending  her  from  the  attacks  of  those  who 
surrounded  her.  I  was  no  longer  conscious  of  my  own 
absurdity;  the  opinions  of  other  people  made  very 
little  difference,  and  I  would  have  intentionally  com- 
mitted the  wildest  extravagance  to  make  Valentine 
turn  her  eyes  towards  me,  and  notice  my  presence. 

"  You  are  talking  a  great  deal,  father,"  she  mur- 
mured as  she  passed,  "  are  you  not  afraid  of  getting 
tired  ? » 

I  made  every  effort  to  resume  the  character  of  a 
discreet  and  silent  father,  but  if  Joseph  (I  cordially 
hated  him)  approached  my  daughter  and  made  the 
simplest  remark,  I  forgot  all  caution,  sprang  towards 
my  child,  drew  myself  up  in  fighting  trim,  clung  to 
her  despairingly.  "  What  fly  is  stinging  you  now,  my 
good  fellow,"  cried  Doctor  Bernard,  laughing.  "  Devil 
take  it,  we  must  give  way  to  the  young  people  ;  let 
your  daughter  alone  and  come  and  play  a  game  of 
billiards." 

I  obeyed,  but  I  confounded  the  red  with  the 
white,  took  the  cue  by  the  small  end,  looked  out  of 
the  window  every  moment,  and,  at  last,  pleading  a 
headache,  made  my  escape. 

In  the  midst  of  my  foolishness  I  tried  to  analyze 
my  feelings,  but  it  was  impossible  for  me  to  fix  my 
attention;  Valentine  filled  my  horizon,  and  while 
wishing  to  study  myself,  I  drowned  all  personality  in 
watching  my  child.  My  affection  was  strangely 
changed  ;  it  was  now  mingled  with  a  shade  of  bitter- 
ness that  intoxicated  me.  Several  times  I  resolved 
to  leave  the  country  suddenly,  and  undoubtedly 
should  have  done  so  if  it  had  not  been  for  the  fear 
of  Valentine's  accusing  me  of  despotism  or  tyranny. 

Fortunately,  winter  was  approaching  ;  Joseph  had 
just  returned  to  Paris  to  pursue  his  medical  studies; 


222  BABOLAfN. 

many  people  who  merely  lived  in  Favras,  or  its 
suburbs,  during  the  summer,  had  also  disappeared  ; 
and  the  town,  being  thus  reduced  to  its  own  resources, 
resumed  its  ordinary  aspect  and  little  every-day 
customs. 

I  breathed  freely  again ;  my  daughter  was  re- 
stored ;  the  storm  was  retreating;  I  no  longer  had 
any  rivals.  I  smiled  as  I  looked  at  the  huge  supply 
of  wood  which  was  to  render  our  retreat  warmer,  our 
intercourse  pleasanter.  My  great  care  was  to  make 
the  house  attractive  to  her.  I  had  a  little  hollow  dug 
in  the  garden,  which  was  to  be  filled  with  aquatic 
plants  ;  1  surprised  her  with  a  new  set  of  furniture 
for  her  room — a  piece  of  extravagance,  for  my  income 
was  very  small,  but  what  sacrifice  of  money  would  I 
not  have  made  to  recall  the  smile  to  her  lips  !  Alas  ! 
all  my  efforts  were  vain ;  it  seemed  as  if  she  was 
exiled.  Often  while  we  were  talking  together  in  the 
chimney  corner,  she  suddenly  left  the  room,  wrapped 
herself  in  her  shawl,  and,  in  spite  of  the  wind  and 
cold,  went  to  the  upper  part  of  the  garden,  from 
wiience  one  could  see  the  plain,  bordered  in  the  dis- 
tance by  the  forest,  and  remained  there  motionless 
with  her  eyes  fixed  on  the  large  clouds  the  wind 
drove  across  the  sky. 

She  had  taken  a  dislike  to  the  rest  of  the  garden, 
the  rain-gauge,  and  the  weathercock,  the  little  groves, 
the  sun-dial,  the  rustic  kiosk  I  had  built  myself,  a 
charming  little  affair;  everything  irritated  her  nerves, 
I  know  not  why  ;  yet  this  was  the  part  of  the  grounds 
where  she  had  played  and  laughed  during  her  whole 
childhood. 

"  1  want  room,"  she  said  in  a  choked  voice,  "  the 
mind  needs  it  as  well  as  the  eyes,  and  1  hate  com- 
mon-place things." 

On  the  days  when  the  owners  of  the  neighboring 
chateau  hunted  in  the  forest  I  was  sure  to  find  her 
at  her  post  about  sunset. 


BABOLAUV.  223 

She  started  at  my  approach,  and  we  watched  the 
horsemen,  the  whippers-in,  and  the  pack  pass  by. 
When  the  horns  sounded  the  call  to  the  dogs,  her 
face  brightened.  "  They  are  happy  people,"  said 
she,  "  to  be  able  to  gallop  all  day  long  upon  a  horse 
that  goes  like  the  wind,  and  never  gets  tired." 

"  There  are  pleasures  for  every  purse,  my  child, 
and  little  nobodies,  like  ourselves — " 

"  Oh !  I  know  what  we  are  very  well,"  she  mur- 
mured with  an  expression  of  repressed  suffering. 

One  day  I  surprised  her  standing  in  my  room  be- 
fore the  Uttle  portrait  of  my  wife,  which  I  had  hung 
near  the  glass  some  time  before. 

When  I  entered  she  went  hastily  away,  but  it 
seemed  to  me  that  her  eyes  were  wet.  So  she  had 
guessed  that  past  which  I  had  never  dared  to  confide 
to  her.  She  must  be  informed  of  it  some  day,  but 
when  should  I  have  the  courage  to  tell  her  all  ? 
From  the  hour  I  supposed  she  knew  the  whole  I 
avoided  her  glance  as  I  would  have  that  of  a  judge  ; 
I  scarcely  dared  to  speak  to  her,  and  her  coldness 
towards  me  visibly  increased.  I  was  very  unhappy, 
but  she  suffered  too.  By  the  expression  of  her  face, 
her  step,  the  few  words  that  fell  from  her  hps,  a 
thousand  trifles,  I  saw  that  she  considered  herself  the 
victim  of  a  fatality  which  I  could  not  understand. 
Suddenly  religious  observances  assumed  a  marked 
importance  in  Valentine's  life  ;  and  I  rejoiced,  for  I 
thought  she  would  find  consolation. 

Under  her  influence  the  social  gatherings  in  the 
town  assumed  a  graver  character  ;  cards  were  usually 
excluded  and  replaced  by  the  performance  of  sacred 
music  or  the  reading  of  some  classical  masterpiece. 
The  evening  seemed  particularly  long  at  the  notary's, 
who,  being  gouty,  liked  to  preside  in  his  arm-chair, 
with  his  leg  resting  on  a  support.  People  sat  around 
him  in  a  circle,  each  with  a  small  rug  under  his  feet. 
The  master  of  the  house  maintained  the  arrangement 


224  BABOLAIN. 

by  a  smile  or  a  polite  wave  of  the  hand,  and  I  caught 
Valentine  steadily  watching  the  candles  which  per- 
sisted in  not  burning  down. 

Sometimes  Doctor  Bernard,  who  continued  to  be 
the  busiest  man  in  the  neighborhood,  suddenly 
arrived.  We  heard  the  noise  of  his  carriage  rolling 
over  the  pointed  stones,  and  then  his  loud,  sonorous 
voice.  The  gouty  notary  smilingly  pointed  out  the 
place  where  the  circle  should  be  enlarged  to  make 
room  for  the  new  arrival,  the  doctor  entered  with  a 
smile,  and  gayety  kindled  afresh  as  the  flame  bursts 
forth  from  smouldering  brands  when  a  door  is 
opened. 

"  Good-evening,  doctor,  have  you  heard  from 
Joseph  ? " 

"  Yes,  yes  ;  excellent  news.  My  bov's  a  wonder- 
ful fellow." 

And  rummaging  in  his  pocket  he  drew  out  a  letter 
from  the  medical  student  and  read  the  principal 
passages.  The  writing  was  clear,  close,  and  regular. 
Joseph  spoke  only  of  himself,  his  studies  and  his 
future  prospects.  "  I  have  arranged  my  time,"  said 
he,  "  in  such  a  way  that  I  gain  an  hour's  work  with- 
out shortening  the  two  evenings  I  devote  to  society 
every  week.  From  nine  to  eleven  o'clock  I  can 
make  three  calls,  certainly  two,  which  is  sufficient  if 
one  knows  how  to  select  properly.  I  want  to  obtain 
the  gold  medal  on  completing  my  term  as  house  sur- 
geon, and  at  the  same  time  pass  the  examination  and 
the  central  office.  It  is  possible,  and  I  will  do  it.  I 
have  strength  for  a  great  deal  of  work,  and  an  excel- 
lent method  of  arranging  my  time  into  the  bargain. 
As  to  old  Ikillette,  in  whose  favor  you  ask  me  to 
make  an  application  to  my  chief,  I  will  answer  yon 
very  frankly,  my  dear  father,  by  a  flat  refusal.  The 
situation  is  certainly  very  touching,  but  mine  is  still 
more  interesting,  and  1  clon't  wish  to  fritter  away  my 
credit.     Besides,  you  can  help  the  man  with  money. 


/  B ABO  LAIN.  22$ 

Give  him  the  five  hundred  francs  you  were  going  to 
send  me,  I  need  nothing ;  nay,  I  have  a  thousand 
excellent  reasons  for  remaining  poor.  My  religious 
principles  continue  to  excite  the  jeers  of  certain  per- 
sons ;  I  fully  expected  and  rejoice  over  it." 

General  enthusiasm  was  excited  by  the  reading 
of  that  letter,  whose  salient  passages  were  com- 
mented upon  by  the  doctor.  "  How  much  resolu- 
tion, what  energy,  what  admirable  courage  this  young 
man's  conduct  displays,"  they  said.  "  Square  at  the 
base,"  added  Bernard,  fondly. 

I  confess  that  I  had  not  shared  the  general  ex- 
citement. The  unbending  will  of  this  Joseph,  who 
seemed  ready  to  sacrifice  everything  to  attain  his  ob- 
ject, made  me  shudder.  I  remembered  his  stiff 
manners,  his  cold  glance,  and  the  aversion  I  had  felt 
towards  him  increased.  Valentine,  moreover,  seemed 
to  feel  the  same  impression  as  myself,  for  she  had  re- 
mained silent  all  the  evening. 

When  we  were  alone  on  the  way  home,  lantern  in 
hand,  she  began  to  walk  very  rapidly,  clinging  closely 
to  my  arm  ;  one  would  have  thought  that  she  wanted 
to  fly  from  the  town. 

"  You  are  frightened,  my  dear,"  I  said,  smiling. 

"  No,  no,  I'm  not  afraid." 

"  Why,  you  seem  very  much  agitated,"  and  to  di- 
vert her  thoughts  I  spoke  of  the  famous  letter. 
"  This  Joseph  is  a  bar  of  steel,"  I  said,  "  or  at  least 
he  isn't  sorry  to  pass  for  one  ;  don't  you  think  so  ? 
Under  the  words  of  this  ascetic  worker,  perhaps  it 
might  not  be  necessary  to  seek  far  to  discover  an — 
ambitious,  intriguing  man.     I  don't  like — " 

"  You  don't  like  conflict,  struggle,"  she  said  sud- 
denly in  a  ringing  voice,  quickening  her  pace.  "  Yet 
these  eager  workers  whom  difficulty  excites  and 
arouses,  who  rush  head-foremost  towards  a  noble 
aim,  these  superb  lunatics,  born  for  the  intoxication 
of  a  great  career,  are  needed." 
IS 


226  B ABO  LAIN. 

"But,  itiy  darling,  that's  not  what  I  meant." 

"  Walk  faster,  faster,  I  don't  feel  well  this  even- 
ing." 

"  I  understand  all  ambitions,  although  calmness 
has  now  returned  to  my  heart.  I,  too,  have  had  my 
dreams,  and  have  worked — perhaps  as  much  as  Ber- 
nard's son.  I  have  never  told  you  about  all  that. 
Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !     I  know  what  constant  toil  is." 

"  Well,  you  must  rest  now — here  we  are  at 
last." 

"  When  I  was  about  to  enter  the  normal  school — • 
and  afterwards,  at  the  examination — I  have  spent 
many  a  night,  and  it  wasn't  very  warm  that  winter, 
in  my  little  room.  I  remember  now — wait  till  I  push 
the  gate  open — I  remember  that  I  had  a  rabbit  skin 
to  protect  myself  from  the  cold — Ha!  ha!  ha!  yes, 
I've  worked  as  hard  as  Bernard's  son." 

"  Indeed  !   Good-night,  father." 

"  Yes,  and  perJiaps  harder.  I  don't  dispute  his 
merit,  you  know,  my  dear.  I  really  think  him  an  un- 
common lad,  and  one  well  calculated  to  steer  his  own 
ship  ;  I  fear  only  one  thing,  and  that  is  that  he'll 
steer  her  too  well.  You'll  see  what  a  daughter  of 
Croesus  this  fine  fellow  will  hunt  up." 

My  daughter  suddenly  disappeared,  and  I  heard 
her  chamber  door  slam  violently. 

Josepli  seemed  to  have  said  good-bye  to  the  town 
of  Favras  forever.  I'wo  or  tliree  times  a  year  my 
friend  Bernard  went  to  Paris  to  spend  a  day  with  his 
son,  and  always  returned  in  a  very  enthusiastic  mood. 
The  student's  triumphs  really  did  seem  marvellous. 
He  would  be  one  of  the  bright  particular  stars  of 
medicine,  one  of  the  most  remarkable  men  of  his 
age  if  his  health  could  endure  tiie  severe  labor  he 
imposed  upon  himself.  Several  very  remarkable 
works  had  already  raised  him  above  all  his  compan- 
ions in  the  school,  and  his  teachers  had  asked  his 
advice  in  certain  difficult  cases.    Gifted  with  medical 


BABOLAIN.  227 

tact  in  an  unusual  degree,  highly  educated,  ener- 
getic, patient,  indomitable,  in  spite  of  the  most  an- 
gelic modesty,  to  what  height  must  he  not  attain  ? 
Having  become  a  constant  visitor  at  the  hotel  de 
V6lizy,  where  he  was  received  on  the  footing  of  an 
intimate  friend  by  the  old  Marquise,  who  could  not 
do  without  him,  the  most  desirable  practice  awaited 
him. 

Such  were  the  reports  the  doctor  brought  on  his 
return  from  Paris.  The  impression  produced  upon 
the  population  of  the  young  hero's  native  town  was 
immense.  For  whole  evenings  people  discussed 
Joseph's  future,  recalled  the  wonderful  things  he  had 
done  in  his  childhood,  and  certain  persons  even  de- 
clared that  the  tokens  of  genius  were  plainly  visible 
upon  his  brow  at  that  period. 

One  evening,  when  we  went  to  Bernard's,  we 
were  astonished  to  find  the  large  gate  wide  open. 
The  kitchen  was  brightly  lighted,  and  baggage  was 
piled  in  the  ante-chamber ;  a  door  suddenly  opened 
and  the  doctor  appeared  with  a  flushed,  beaming 
countenance. 

"  Ah  !  it's  you,"  said  he,  "  come  in,  my  son  is  here, 
I  was  going  to  tell  you.  I  only  received  his  letter 
this  evening." 

Joseph  was  very  much  altered.  He  was  now  a 
grave,  dignified  man,  who  inspired  respect  at  once. 
His  pale,  smoothly  shaven  face,  furrowed  with  deep 
wrinkles,  had  an  aspect  of  manly  beauty  ;  and  his 
bright,  steady  glance  pierced  you  through  and 
through.  His  mouth  was  small  and  clearly  cut,  and 
his  high  forehead,  rendered  still  higher  by  a  mass  of 
long  hair  pushed  backward,  really  seemed  to  be  the 
brow  of  a  man  of  genius.  His  gestures  were  made 
at  rare  intervals,  slow  and  very  simple ;  he  said  little, 
in  a  voice  that  was  weak  though  well  modulated,  de- 
laying his  answers  like  a  man  constantly  pursued  by 
pressing  cares.    Although  very  young,  one  could  per- 


228  BABOLAIN. 

ceive  that  he  was  matured  by  experience,  knew  his 
own  value,  and  was  accustomed  to  the  respect  and 
esteem  of  others. 

When  everybody  was  seated,  Valentine,  whose 
manner  was  more  cold  and  indifferent  than  usual,  ap- 
proached the  lamp,  drew  from  her  pocket  the  piece 
of  embroidery  she  had  commenced,  and  began  to 
work  as  usual.  It  gave  me  pleasure  to  see  how  little 
impression  the  sight  of  the  young  conqueror  made 
upon  her. 

We  talked  a  great  deal  that  evening ;  reassured 
by  Joseph's  really  surprising  modesty,  and  stimulated 
by  the  presence  of  a  distinguished  person,  Bernard, 
the  cure  and  I  were  a  little  too  loquacious. 

Scarcely  had  the  hero  uttered  a  word  when  all 
three,  hastily  rummaging  in  the  bag  of  memories, 
ventured  our  little  stories.  We  too  had  had  our  tri- 
umphs, our  moments  of  brilliancy.  Even  the  good 
priest  had  had  intimate  relations  with  the  aristoc- 
racy ;  he  had  converted  the  young  Marquis  de  P., 
been  the  confidant  of  theComtessede  C,  and  in  his 
heart  the  Duchesse  de  K.  placed  her  last  hopes. 

As  for  me  I  should  never  have  ceased  recalling 
my  doughty  deeds  at  the  normal  school,  had  it  not 
been  for  the  imploring  looks  of  my  daughter,  whom 
I  was  evidently  torturing  by  my  absurd  vanil}'. 

It  was  not  until  nearly  ten  o'clock  that  we  thought 
of  taking  leave.  When  everybody  was  in  llie  ante- 
chamber, Joseph,  addressing  the  priest  with  every 
token  of  respectful  con.sideralion,  said  : 

"To-morrow  will  be  Sunday,  Monsieur  le  cure; 
does  the  service  still  begin  at  nine  o'clock  t  " 

"  At  nine  o'clock,  yes,  my  dear  doctor,  high  mass 
is  always  at  nine  o'clock.  Our  church  will  seem 
strangely  plain  to  you  who  have  been  accustomed  to 
the  pomp  of  religious  worship  in  Paris." 

"God  is  everywhere,  Monsieur  le  cure;  God  is 
everywhere." 


BABOLAliV.  229 

"  I  hope  at  least  you  will  take  your  seat  in  the 
church-warden's  pew  beside  your  father." 

"  I  am  deeply  touched  by  the  favor,  and  will 
gratefully  accept  it." 

"  We  are  the  favored  ones,  Monsieur  Joseph — 
excuse  me  while  I  light  my  lantern — the  house  of 
God — thank  you,  I  have  some  matches — it  is  an 
honor  to  us,  I  assure  you.  I  wish  you  a  very  good 
evening." 

Valentine's  conduct  completely  effaced  from  my 
mind  a  thousand  little  anxieties  which  had  haunted 
me.  Not  a  word  was  exchanged  between  her  and 
myself  on  the  subject  of  Bernard's  son,  or,  at  least, 
if  I  spoke  of  him,  it  was  in  a  very  indirect  way. 

"  Nothing  is  so  alarming,"  I  said  to  her,  "  as  ex- 
ceptional good  fortune.  To  enter  upon  life  in  a 
chariot  and  four  and  pass  under  a  triumphal  arch  is 
the  greatest  of  calamities.  How  is  all  this  to  be 
paid  for  afterwards  ?  You  perceive,  my  darling,  it  is 
giving  destiny  terrible  pledges.  There  are  certain 
laws  fixed  by  fate  :  a  sun  high  in  the  heavens  attracts 
great  clouds ;  inordinate  ambitions  cause  terrible 
downfalls.  When  our  eyes  are  fixed  on  the  horizon, 
we  plunge  violently  into  the  first  ditch  that  crosses 
the  path,  and  life,  my  child,  is  furrowed  with  ditches 
and  old  roads.  The  wise  man  imitates  the  prudence 
of  the  blind :  he  goes  step  by  step,  and  feels  the  way 
with  his  stick.  He  does  not  leap  over  the  ditches, 
but  quietly  descends  and  goes  up.  according  to  the 
whims  of  the  ground.  Then  when  he  finds  some  lit- 
tle spot  sheltered  from  the  sun  and  wind,  he  puts 
down  his  wallet  and  pauses  to  see  others  pass  by.  It 
is  for  this  purpose  that  critical  judgment  is  so  pre- 
cious a  gift." 

Valentine  did  not  seem  to  hear  me,  but  by  her  si- 
lence I  guessed  that  she  understood  me  and  shared 
my  ideas.  One  particular  of  her  conduct  afforded 
me  great  pleasure  :  not  content  with  the  somewhat 


230  B ABO  LAIN. 

austere  manners  she  had  adopted  since  Joseph's  ar- 
rival at  Favras,  she  suddenly  changed  her  style  of 
dress,  and  wore  nothing  but  black  or  very  dark  gar- 
ments, entirely  destitute  of  ornament.  Even  her 
mode  of  arranging  her  hair  was  excessively  plain, 
and  I  said  to  myself  :  "  It  is  very  evident  that  she  has 
no  desire  to  please  him."  What  strange  fancies  I  had 
got  into  my  head.  I  have  misunderstood  her  simple 
heart,  her  lofty  character.  Then,  of  what  avail  has 
this  faculty  of  analysis  1  possess  been  to  me,  except 
to  strip  the  bloom  from  all  good  things  and  render 
evil-  ones  still  harder  to  bear  t 

I  frankly  confess  I  was  not  sorry  that  she  should 
be  marble  to  every  one,  but  what  1  could  not  under- 
stand was  that  she  should  retain  her  melancholy,  re- 
signed expression  when  in  my  society,  and  again 
keep  me  at  a  distance  by  her  repellant  manners. 
For  a  long  time  she  had  avoided  my  caresses,  doubt- 
less that  she  might  not  be  compelled  to  respond  to 
them.  True,  it  was  only  natural  that  her  fresh,  rosy 
lips  should  feel  a  repugnance  to  pressing  my  old, 
withered  cheeks,  but  why  did  she  show  these  tokens 
of  apparent  hostility  .''  How  many  times  I  have  hur- 
ried away  from  her,  swallowing  down  my  tears.  I 
went  into  the  darkest  corner  of  the  garden,  cut  and 
hacked  away  furiously  with  my  pruning  knife  hap- 
hazard, and  if  my  dog  surprised  me  in  the  midst  of 
my  sorrow,  I  took  him  between  my  knees,  looked 
into  his  eyes,  and  overwhelmed  him  with  ques- 
tions. "  Why  is  she  unhappy,  tell  me.  Sultan .'' 
What  does  she  want.'  She  no  longer  pets  you  ;  you 
are  troublesome,  loo  !  "  And  I  consoled  tlic  poor 
animal  which  wagged  his  tail  and  thrust  his  nose  in 
jny  face. 

A  horrible  thought  occurred  to  me.  "  Suppose 
my  daughter's  conduct  .should  be  logical,"  I  said  to 
myself;  "suppose  1  am  merely  gathering  the  fruit  of 
the  germs  1  have  sown !  "     1  remembered  the  succes- 


babolain:  231 

sive  transforniations  ray  affection  had  undergone  as 
my  child  became  a  woman  and  the  symptoms  of  her 
unfolding  beauty  appeared.  I  examined  my  heart 
and  was  terrified.  Is  it  with  a  father's  eye  that  I 
watched  with  so  much  intentness  her  graceful  bear- 
ing, the  undulations  of  the  pliant  figure  while  she 
was  running  about  in  the  garden ;  that  1  studied  her 
features,  analyzed  her  smile,  took  pleasure  in  her 
very  faults  without  having  courage  to  call  her  atten- 
tion to  ihem  ?  And  afterwards  when  I  suddenly  saw 
her  admired  by  everybody,  did  I  not  feel  an  emotion 
of  monstrous  jealousy  .?  Was  not  I,  her  father,  the 
first  to  encourage  her  taste  for  finery,  the  first  to  tell 
her  that  she  was  pretty,  bewitching  ?  Have  I  not 
implanted  the  germ  of  a  love  of  admiration  which 
might  destroy  her,  but  whose  charm  was  irresistible 
to  me  ?  How  many  times,  in  giving  her  a  good-night 
kiss,  I  had  noticed  how  much  she  resembled  her 
mother,  and  embraced  her  a  second  time  as  if  to  en- 
velop both  in  the  same  caress.  There  had  been  the 
echo  of  another  feeling  in  my  paternal  love — the 
memory  of  a  past  I  could  not  forget,  the  light  of  a 
fire  which  could  not  be  extinguished.  How  many 
base,  shameful  feelings  there  are  in  the  human  soul  1 
Was  it  surprising  that  she  should  have  neither  respect 
nor  esteem  for  me  ?  1  dared  not  speak  to  her,  look 
her  in  the  face.  It  was  a  positive  torture.  Although 
her  habits  were  still  the  same,  it  soon  became  evident 
to  me  that  her  health  was  affected.  She  fell  into  a 
state  of  languor  and  weakness,  whose  every  shade  I 
secretly  watched. 

This  painful  situation  had  lasted  about  three 
months,  when  one  day,  in  passing  near  the  house,  I 
heard  the  sound  of  stified  sobs  proceeding  from  Val- 
entine's room,  whose  shutters  were  tightly  closed.  I 
was  the  more  surprised  because  I  supposed  that  my 
daughter  was  detained  in  town  that  portion  of  the 
day  by  her  tasks  of  benevolence  and  piety.     My  first 


232  BABOLAIN. 

thought  was  that  some  accident  had  befallen  her,  and 
I  was  beside  her  in  an  instant. 

The  poor  child,  with  her  hat  still  on  her  head,  was 
stretched  on  her  bed,  a  prey  to  a  most  violent  fit  of 
hysterics.  Her  hands  were  clenched,  her  face  was 
deadly  pale  and  wet  with  tears,  and  her  half-closed 
eyes  had  an  expression  of  insanity.  I  bent  over  her 
and  clasped  her  in  my  arms.  Was  she  going  to  die  ? 
"  What  is  the  matter,  my  child,  tell  me,  what  is  the 
matter  ?  "  I  asked,  trying  to  maintain  my  calmness  ; 
she  burst  into  a  convulsive  laugh,  and  pressing  my 
arm  with  wild  violence,  murmured  : 

"  Yes — forever — you  have  guessed  right — I  love 
you — " 

"  And  I  love  you  in  return,"  I  answered,  "  I  love 
you  with  all  my  heart,  my  child,  my  Valentine." 

"  In  life  and  death — forever." 

"  Calm  yourself,  my  darling.  Yes,  we  will  be 
happy.     I  will  do  all  in  my  power." 

The  fit  of  hysterics  gradually  passed  away ;  her 
eyes  opened  wider  ;  she  turned  towards  me,  and  rec- 
ognizing  me,    uttered  a  cry  of  terror. 

"The  letter,"  she  screamed  in  a  tone  of  anguish, 
"  the  letter !  " 

"  What  letter,  darling  ?  It  is  I,  your  father,  don't 
you  know  nie  .-*  " 

"  Well,  why  arc  you  here  ?     Where  is  the  letter  ?  " 

I  saw  a  scrap  of  paper  which  happened  to  be 
lying  on  the  floor,  and  holding  it  out  to  her  with  a 
trembling  hand,  said  :  "  Is  this  what  you  want .''  " 

She  seized  the  fragment  I  offered,  and  kissed  it 
with  passionate  tenderness. 

Doubt  was  no  longer  possible,  my  daughter  was 
insane. 

I  shouted  to  Marianne  ;  and  when  the  good  wo- 
man came,  rushed  like  a  madman  towards  the  town, 
where  Doctor  Bernard  would  certainly  be  at  this 
hour. 


BABOLAIN.  233 

I  should  not  be  able  to  tell  the  wild  thoughts  that 
pursued  me  as  I  hurried  on.  I  unconsciously  took 
the  Rochemont  road,  and  was  obliged  to  retrace  my 
steps  in  a  run.     Perhaps  the  delay  was   irreparable. 

On  entering  the  doctor's  house  I  saw  him  in  the 
ante-chamber,  pacing  to  and  fro,  with  every  token  of 
the  greatest  excitement. 

"  Bernard,"  I  said,  throwing  myself  into  his  arms, 
"  I  am  very  unhappy.  My  daughter,  my  poor  daugh- 
ter !  "  The  speed  with  which  I  had  come  deprived 
me  of  all  power  to  speak,  and  I  embraced  my  old 
friend  with  increasing  agitation. 

"  In  the  first  place,"  said  he,  indignantly  releas- 
ing himself,  "  do  me  the  favor  to  be  quiet  and  come 
into  my  study,  there's  no  need  of  crying  all  this  on 
the  housetops." 

When  we  were  seated  and  the  door  was  carefully 
closed,  the  doctor  took  his  snuff  box,  plunged  his 
huge  finger  and  thumb  violently  into  it,  and  shut  the 
box  by  a  resounding  rap  on  the  cover. 

"  Make  haste,  I  beg  of  you.  My  Valentine  is 
ill." 

"  Don't  make  any  sentimental  demonstrations,  I 
hate  them.  Let  me  alone.  I  want  to  have  my  say. 
Confound  it,  there's  no  doubt  about  my  views.  I've 
always  been  square  at  the  base,  and  I  tell  you  frank- 
ly, I  consider  this  affair  deplorable,  absurd,  mad  ;  I 
disapprove  of  it,  I  am  heart-broken." 

"  All  the  reproaches  you  can  make  I  have  al- 
ready heaped  upon  myself,"  I  answered.  "  But  let  us 
go,  let  us  go  at  once.  Do  you  consider  her  condi- 
tion hopeless  ?  Oh  God  !  what  a  terrible  misfortune  ! " 

Bernard  impatiently  drew  his  dressing-gown 
closer  around  him,  looking  me  steadily  in  the  face. 

"  Terrible  misfortune  !  Devil  take  it,  I  consider 
that  joke  out  of  place,  and  you  are  strangely  mistaken 
in  the  situation  of  affairs.  Do  you  suppose  I  am  the 
dupe  of  this  clumsy  comedy  ?     Do  you  take  me  for  a 


234  B  ABO  LAIN. 

simpleton,  a  fool  ?  Do  you  think  me  stupid  enough 
to  keep  quiet  while  my  son  makes  a  marriage  like 
this  ?  He  who  could  aspire  to  the  most  brilliant 
matches.  Valentine  is  pretty,  I  don't  dispute  it,  she 
is  undoubtedly  accomplished,  but — " 

"  What !  What  do  you  mean  ?  Explain  yourself," 
I  cried,  growing  furious  in  my  turn.  "  Valentine 
mafry  !  At  a  time  when  her  life  is  in  danger.  Mar- 
ry Joseph  !  Never.  Who  has  said  this  ?  It's  a 
slander,  a  horrible  falsehood,  I  will  not  allow  my 
daughters  inclinations  to  be  forced.  Marrj'  Joseph  ! 
I  won't  have  it,  it  shall  never  be.  I  too  have  rights. 
I  am  her  father.  I  will  defend  her,  and  if  any  one 
has  the  baseness  to  disturb  her  mind  with  such  in- 
sinuations I  swear  he  shall  have  to  deal  with  me. 
To  seek  to  ensnare  a  poor  child  who  is  living  quietly 
and  happily,  tear  her  from  her  father's  arms  !  Well, 
let  them  come  on.  If  necessary  I  will  commit  a 
crime,  yes  a  crime." 

"  Don't  gesticulate  so,  that's  all  stuff  and  non- 
sense. Who  will  believe  that  a  man  of  Joseph's  im- 
portance would  have  formed  such  a  resolution  if  he 
hadn't  been  beset,  overreached  ?  What  means  were 
employed  ?  I  don't  know,  but  it's  certain  that  my 
son  is  a  victim  of  a  plot,  that  he  has  fallen  into  a 
snare  which  has  doubtless  been  spread  for  a  long 
time." 

At  such  an  accusation  my  fury  knew  no  Ijounds, 
and  seizing  a  carafe,  which  stood  near,  I  cried,  trem- 
bling with  rage  :  "  If  you  continue  to  insult  my 
daughter  I  will  kill  you,  break  your  head  this  instant. 
1  want  a  disgraceful  marriage  with  an  ambitious, 
intriguing  man  whom  she  detests,  whom  we  both  de- 
test!  A  likely  thing!  I  will  protect  her.  I  am 
strong,  they  shall  see  I  am  strong." 

I  was  fairly  beside  myself.  Bernard  put  his  great 
hand  on  my  shoulder  and  looked  at  me  compassion- 
ately.     "  Go   home,   poor   fellow.      Put   down   that 


BABOLALV.  235 

carafe,  you  will  wet  my  carpet.  I  will  speak  to  you  to- 
morrow. Come,  go.  Confound  it,  don't  you  see 
that  if  you  stayed  I  should  be  unable  to  control  my- 
self any  longer  ?  " 

I  was  pushed  out  of  the  house,  and  walked  away 
staggering  like  a  drunken  man. 

It  was  autumn,  night  had  fallen  and  the  wind  was 
blowing  violently.  The  trees  bent  towards  each  oth 
er  with  a  grindmg  sound,  the  dry  leaves  whirled 
around  me  with  a  diabolical  laugh,  and  my  thoughts 
also  whirled  through  my  brain.  I  sat  down  on  tlie 
edge  of  a  ditch,  fairly  terrified  at  my  own  condition. 
Amid  the  nightmare  which  had  taken  possession  of 
me,  I  felt  the  presence  of  some  mystery  and  said, 
mechanically,  "  What  does  it  mean,  oh  !  God,  what 
does  this  mean  !  "  Suddenly  I  remembered  the  posi- 
tion in  which  I  had  left  my  daughter.  Perhaps  she 
is  no  longer  alive,  I  thought  with  terror,  and  contin- 
ued my  way  as  fast  as  I  could. 

At  last  I  arrived  at  my  destination,  pushed  open 
the  garden  gate  and  entered  the  garden.  I  was  only 
a  few  paces  from  the  house  when  the  door  opened 
and  I  saw  Joseph,  accompanied  by  my  daughter  who 
was  lighting  the  way  with  a  lantern.  I  instinctively 
slipped  behind  a  clump  of  lilacs  that  grew  by  the 
walk.  Valentine's  face  wore  an  unusual  expression, 
which  it  was  impossible  for  me  to  define  ;  every  trace 
of  suffering  had  disappeared.  The  two  young  people 
came  down  the  path  talking  together  in  so  low  a  tone 
that  it  was  impossible  for  me  to  understand  anything  ; 
but  when  they  had  almost  reached  the  spot  where  I 
was  hidden  I  could  distinguish  the  meaning  of  their 
words. 

"  Yes,  yes,"  said  my  daughter,  "  if  people  could 
die  of  joy,  I  should  have  died  to-day,  my  dear  one." 
She  held  out  her  hand  to  him  and  added  :  "  You 
will  probably  meet  my  father  on  the  way,  I  am  sur- 
prised that  he  has  not  returned." 


236  BABOLAIN. 

"  I  regret  it.     He  doesn't  suspect  anything?  " 

"  Of  course  not,  poor  man." 

"  How  your  ardent,  noble  nature  must  have  suf- 
fered under  the  deadly  pressure  of  this  old  man  with 
his  strange  manias." 

"  I  was  somewhat  stifled  indeed.  I  was  particularly 
ashamed  of  his  half-dead  manner,  his  pitiable  idle- 
ness, when  others  were  struggling  so  nobly,  entering 
upon  the  battle  of  life  with  so  much  courage.  Oh  ! 
I  assure  you,  I  feel  I  have  the  strength  to  understand 
and  aid  you.     But  let  us  say  no  more  about  it." 

"  Do  you  love  me  ?  "  asked  the  scoundrel,  lower- 
ing his  voice. 

"  Yes,  I  love  you,  Joseph,  and  I  admire  you.  Go 
now,  go." 

"  Ciod  has  approved  of  our  betrothal." 

When  I  regained  my  consciousness,  I  found  my- 
self in  bed.  On  opening  my  eyes,  the  first  person 
I  saw  was  Marianne,  who  was  putting  a  bandage  up- 
on my  forehead. 

"  Oh  !  Monsieur,"  she  said  in  an  accent  of  real 
delight,  "so  you  have  revived  again.  You  frightened 
us  terribly;  but  it's  nothing  serious.  It's  only  a  faint- 
ing fit — your  color  is  coming  back  a  little.  I'm  not 
binding  your  head  too  tight,  it's  because  you  rubbed 
the  skin  off  your  foreliead  when  you  fell.  I  almost 
tumbled  down  myself,  tripping  over  your  legs  which 
came  out  beyond  the  lilac  bushes." 

"Well,  my  poor  father,  arc  you  better?"  said 
Valentine  approaching  and  holding  out  her  hand  to 
mc. 

"  1  have  had  an  attack  of  giddiness,  it  is  nothing. 
You  have  not  been  anxious,  1  should  be  sorry  to 
have  troubled  you."  My  heart  was  swelling,  for  1 
now  remembered  all  that  iiad  passed,  and  said  to  my- 
self: "She  gives  me  her  hand,  but  withholds  her 
heart — I  thank  you  and  Marianne  for  having  nursed 
me,  I  am  ever  grateful  to  you."     Then  I  added  in  a 


BABOLAIN.  237 

lower  tone  :  "  You  know  perfectly  well,  my  dear 
daughter,  that  I  place  your  happiness  above  every- 
thing, don't  you  ?  I  most  solemnly  assure  you  that  it 
is  so — if  you  had — a  wish — a  plan,  it  would  only  be 
necessary  to  tell  me,  my  love.  Oh !  have  no  fear,  I 
shall  make  no  comments — not  one  remark,  you  must 
be  happy,  it  is  natural." 

"But,  father,  I—" 

"  Don't  tell  me  anything  now,  I  beg  of  you.  Some 
other  time.  Go,  go,  my  darling,  you  shall  be  happy, 
my  daughter." 

And  I  pushed  her  gently  away,  for  I  feared  she 
might  not  dare  to  confess  the  whole  truth,  and  wish- 
ed to  avoid  even  the  semblance  of  a  falsehood  from 
her  lips. 

When  Doctor  Bernard  saw  me  come  in  the  next 
day  he  frowned  and  said  rudely  enough  ;  "  Oh  !  there 
you   are,  you   have  come    to   talk  the    matter  over." 

"  I  have  come — you  will  let  me  sit  down — I  have 
come  to  apologize  for  my  conduct  yesterday."  I  fairly 
dragged  the  words  from  my  lips,  so  to  speak,  for 
in  my  heart  I  felt  an  aversion  to  Joseph  which  now  re- 
sembled  hatred.  "  I  was  not  in  my  right  mind,  I  am 
shocked  that  I  allowed  myself  to  go  so  far — I  believe 
I  threatened  you — I  beg  your  pardon,  Bernard."  I 
was  seeking  for  the  best  way  of  expressing  my  re- 
pentance, for  it  was  necessary  to  disarm  and  soften 
him  ;  his  consent  to  the  marriage  ujDon  which  my 
daughter's  future  depended  was  to  be  secured  at  this 
cost  "  I  think,"  I  continued,  "  you  will  forget  the 
angry  words  that  escaped  me.  The  idea  of  being 
separated  from  Valentine  was  making  me  so  wretch- 
ed— and  therefore  you  will  not  bear  me  a  grudge.  If 
I  had  known  our  two  children  had  so  much  affection 
for  each  other,  I  should  have  said  nothing,  my  dear 
Bernard,  for  it  is  a  father's  duty  to  do  everything  for 
his  child,  literally  everything." 

"  If  I  were  not  convinced  of  that,  I  shouldn't  have 


238  BABOLAIN. 

admitted  the  possibility  of  a  union  like  this,  or  al- 
lowed the  violence  to  which  you  permitted  yourself 
to  give  way  to  pass."  He  took  out  his  snuff-box  and 
shook  it  angrily.  "  But  not  a  word  more  upon  the 
subject,  since  my  son  desires  it  I  accept — in  short,  I 
accept  your  apologies,  but  under  any  other  circum- 
stances I  swear  I  should  have — " 

"  Once  more,  Bernard,  I  entreat  you  to  pardon  me." 
"I  should  have  crushed  the  insolent  fellow,  the 
audacious  knave,  who  could  have  forgotten  himself 
as  you  have  done.  Haven't  I  given  you  every  possi- 
ble proof  of  friendship  .''  Come,  speak  !  haven't  I  ?  " 
"  Undoubtedly  my  friend,  undoubtedly." 
"  And  when  I  am  on  the  point  of  consenting — 
once  more,  I  have  no  wish  to  recur  to  that  scene, 
which  I  attribute  to  a  momentary  fit  of  insanity." 
"  Yes,  that's  it :  I  didn't  know  what  I  was  saying." 
"  Good,  very  good :  people  trample  under  foot 
every  feeling  of  gratitude  and  friendship,  insult  oth- 
ers— and  all  this  is  of  very  little  consequence  if  they 
add  :  '  I  am  sorry,  I  wasn't  aware  of  what  I  was  say- 
ing!' Oh!  you  should  have  merely  said,  'Bernard, 
the  prospect  of  entering  your  family  confuses  me.  I 
was  so  far  from  expecting  that  my  daughter  could 
ever  marry  a  man  of  Joseph's  merit,  I  don't  know  how 
to  express  the  emotion,  the  bewilderment' — that's 
what  you  should  have  said  to  me.  Do  you  know  that 
my  son,  besides  the  profession  which  will  secure  hiin 
a  brilliant  fortune  in  the  immediate  future,  possesses 
at  the  present  time,  in  right  of  his  mother,  a  j^roperty 
of  one  lunulred  and  ten  thousand  francs,  besides  what 
I  shall  leave  him  1  What  dowry  do  you  intend  to 
give  your  daughter  ?  " 

I  started.  My  first  thought  was  that  my  small 
means  would  prevent  this  accursed  marriage,  which 
however  I  desired  with  all  my  heart. 

"  I  will  do  all  I  can,"  1  stammered,  "  but  I  am 
not  rich." 


BABOLAIN.  239 

"  We  are  not  here  to  joke."  He  shook  his  snuff- 
box again.  "  Confound  it.  Do  you  suppose  my 
memory  is  short  enough  for  me  to  have  forgotten  the 
large  property  you  formerly  inherited  ?  Joseph's  in- 
explicable folly  gives  you  considerable  advantage 
over  me,  it  is  true,  but  I  don't  advise  you  to  presume 
upon  your  situation.  Mine  isn't  the  nature  of  a  dupe, 
I  warn  you.  Let  us  speak  seriously.  What  do  you 
give  your  daughter  ? " 

"  Why,  everything,  my  friend.    Everything  I  have." 

"  State  what  you  have  exactly,  exactly." 

"  Good  Heavens  !  I  haven't  thought  of  it  yet ;  in 
the  first  place,  the  house  we  live  in,  with  the  garden. 
She  must  have  her  home,  of  course — with  the  furni- 
ture, I  don't  wish  to  change  her  habits  in  any  way. 
Besides,  she  has  associations  with  it — you  know,  Ber- 
nard, we  have  lived  there  so  long !  She  was  very 
happy  in  her  little  blue  room  with  the' clump  of  rose 
bushes  under  the  window.  Perhaps  you  have  not 
noticed  the  rose  bushes — I  planted  them  all — " 

"  The  property  has  increased  in  value  since  the 
rail  road  has  been  planned;  I  estimate  it  at  the  pres- 
ent time  to  be  worth  about  fifty  thousand  francs.  You 
see  I  set  it  at  a  high  valuation.  So  you  will  give 
your  daughter  this  house  and  estate,  valued  at  fifty 
thousand  francs:  Well,  and  then  ?  Make  haste,  Joseph 
will  soon  come  back." 

I  concentrated  all  my  energies  to  make  an  ex- 
act inventory  of  the  fragments  of  my  fortune.  "  Oh !  " 
said  I,  "  I  have  an  income  of  two  thousand  and  some 
odd  francs  from  property  invested  in  stock :  if  you 
want  that — " 

"  Of  course,  and  then  ? " 

*'  Then,  why  I  have  nothing  more — I  beg  your 
pardon,  my  friend,  I  forgot — " 

"  I  suspected  you  would  forget  something." 

"I  have  my  dictionary,  which  brings  me  in  six  or 
eight  hundred  francs  a  year.     Can  I  make  over  my 


240  BABOLAIN. 

copyright  to  Valentine  ?  I  would  bind  myself  to  do 
it  in  writing." 

"  Certainly,  that's  a  matter  of  course.  Now  listen 
to  me,  Babolain,  let  me  tell  you  just  what  I  think: 
your  conduct  is  that  of  a  contemptible  wretch.  Never, 
no  never,  did  any  one  see  a  father  in  your  position 
haggling  in  this  way  when  the  matter  in  question 
concerned  the  future  and  happiness  of  his  child." 

"  I  solemnly  assure  you  I  am  giving  all  I  have  left, 
literally  all,  my  dear  Bernard;  I  have  kept  nothing  for 
myself  except  the  five  hundred  francs  the  ministry 
gives  me  as  an  old  professor.  Oh  !  it  is  quite  enough. 
People  don't  want  much  at  my  age.  Besides,  Valen- 
tine and — her  husband  will  let  me  live  near  them, 
close  by  them — a  little  room  will  be  enough — I  shan't 
be  in  their  way,  they  will  see  me  very  little,  I  have  al- 
ways lived  near  her,  you  know."  Bernard  began  to 
drum  on  the  lid  of  his  snuff-box.  "  If  it  is  necessary, 
absolutely  necessary — I'll  go  away,  but  I  could  do 
many  little  things  for  them,  save  them  trouble.  Valen- 
tine is  accustomed  to  have  me  near  her.  She  has 
more  affection  for  me  than  she  thinks.  When  a  child 
not  very  long  ago,  she  called  upon  me  to  help  her  in 
the  smallest  things.  Oh  !  she  is  a  good  daughter  who 
loves  her  father  1  am  sure — " 

"  What  is  most  evident  in  all  this,"  said  the  doc- 
tor, "  is  that  my  son's  future  wife  will  have  a  dowry 
of  iifty  thousand  francs,  with  an  income  of  two  thou- 
sand, and  a  somewhat  doubtful  revenue  of  a  few  hun- 
dred more.  You're  a  clever  man,  but  we  shall  see. 
Joseph  will  £)pen  his  eyes.  Devil  take  it!  People 
don't  throw  themselves  into  ditches  in  this   fashion." 

"  I  should  like  to  have  more  to  give  her,  but — " 

"  Where  is  your  fortune  then  ?  " 

"  I  have  met  with  heavy  losses." 

"That  is,  you  are  utterly  ruined,  and  hope  to  re- 
pair the  misfortune  by  marrying  your  daughter.  I'm 
sorry    to    say  so,  but  it  is  the   act  of  an   adventurer. 


BABOLAm.  24 1 

You've  had  your  eye  on  my  son  for  ten,  perhaps  fif- 
teen years." 

"  Oh !  Bernard,  don't  say  that,  I  beg  of  you,  it 
would  be  horrible." 

"  I've  been  deceived  by  your  manner,  I've  been 
ridiculously  trustful.  Why  should  you  have  taken 
refuge  here,  if  you  had  had  nothing  to  conceal  ? 
What  do  I  know  of  your  past  ?  What  are  the  follies 
that  have  ruined  you?  Why  should  your  wife  have 
left  you  ?  You  have  carefully  avoided  confiding  all 
this  to  me.  What  has  become  of  your  child's  moth- 
er, Babolain  ?  Undoubtedly  the  poor  woman,  driven 
to  despair,  was  compelled  to  abandon  her  fireside. 
Come,  speak,  what  reason  have  you  to  reproach  your 
wife  ?  " 

"  I  accuse  no  one,"  I  murmured.  I  was  suffering 
deeply,  for  I  saw  the  phantom  I  supposed  had  van- 
ished, once  more  appear  before  me.  As  if  the  future 
were  not  a  fatal  consequence  of  the  past,  as  if  one 
could  escape  from  the  logical  connection  of  events  ! 
I  had  been  foolish,  proud,  and  the  burden  of  my 
faults  was  now  falling  upon  the  head  of  my  beloved 
daughter.  Perhaps  my  past  would  prevent  her  from 
being  happy.  I  continued  ;  "  I  have  committed  great 
errors,  it  is  true.  Undoubtedly  I  was  not  formed  for 
married  life,  the  ladies  were  artists,  and  lived  only 
for  their  art ;  I  was  very  different — consequently,  they 
suffered,  and  I  suffered  too.  My  wife  and  her  moth- 
er are  in  Italy.  At  least,  I  think  so,  for  I  have  rare- 
ly received  news  of  them.  I  must  even  say  that — 
they  have  never  written  to  me  since  our  separation." 

"Poor  wife,  "  said  Bernard.  "  x\nd  for  twenty 
years  the  thought  of  repairing  your  wrongs  has  not 
once  entered  your  mind." 

"They  committed  equally  great  ones." 

"  What !  speak  frankly.  With  what  do  you  re- 
proach them  ?  " 

"  Little  things,"  I  hastily  replied ;  for  I  trembled 
16 


242  BABOLAIN. 

lest  I  should  injure  Valentine  by  accusing  her  moth 
er.  "A  great  many  little  things.  But  I've  forgotten 
them  all." 

"  Then  why  not  recall  your  wife,  why  not  live 
honorably  ^vith  her .''  do  you  think  my  son  will  accept 
a  situation  like  yours  in  his  family  ?  Never,  no,  never. 
For  my  part,  I  cannot  consent  to  it." 

"Bernard,  you  know  very  well  that  if  this  mar- 
riage did  not  take  place,  my  daughter  would  die. 
She  loves  Joseph,  my  friend.  You  cannot  imagine 
the  ardor  and  purity  of  her  heart.  You  won't  oppose 
this  marriage,  I  beg  of  you — it  would  be  a  sort  of 
murder,  with  which  you  wouldn't  wish  to  have  cause 
to  reproach  yourself." 

"That's  something  like,  I  prefer  you  so.  You 
show  the  full  extent  of  your  ambition  at  last." 

"  I  have  no  other  ambition  than  that  of  saving  my 
daughter  from  dying  of  grief.  I  will  do  what  I  can 
to  bring  the  ladies  back  ;  I  bear  them  no  ill  will,  1 
have  no  hatred  towards  them.  If  it  is  necessary  to 
entreat  my  wife  and  her  mother  to  return  that  Valen- 
tine may  be  happy,  I  will  do  so.  But  they  will  not 
wish  to  come  back.  I'll  write  to  them  ;  I'll  tell  them 
I  am  the  sole  cause  of  all  that  has  happened.  What 
does  it  matter  if  I  do  humiliate  myself,  I  have  always 
meant  to  do  everything  for  the  best,  my  friend  ;  Val- 
entine is  not  responsible  for  her  father's  faults." 

We  talked  together  a  long  time,  and  I  went  away 
feeling  very  sorrowful.  The  more  I  tried  to  soothe 
him,  the  more  irritable  he  seemed.  Yet  it  is  hard  to 
be  compelled  to  wish  for  a  thing  one  hates. 

Meantime,  in  spite  of  the  protestations  of 
Bernard,  who  said  he  was  decidedly  opposed  to  the 
marriage,  affairs  seemed  to  progress  rapidly.  I  dared 
not  speak  of  it  to  any  one,  but  1  saw  seamstresses 
from  iilois  installed  in  the  house,  making  up  pieces  of 
linen,  cutting  ami  sewing  from  morning  till  night.  One 
could  hear  their  bursts  of  laughter  and  their  songs. 


B ABO  LAIN.  243 

Valentine,  who  superintended  everything  with  the 
greatest  energy,  seemed  to  find  all  this  gayety  very 
natural.  I  understood  that  the  trousseau  was  the 
point  in  question. 

The  saddest  part  of  the  whole  afifair  to  me  was 
the  strange  transformation  that  had  taken  place  in  my 
daughter;  she  was  now  unrecognizable;  her  whole 
l^erson  was  instinct  with  health  and  happiness,  and 
the  smallest  details  of  this  development  were 
obvious  to  me ;  nay,  she  even  lavished  upon  me  at- 
tentions and  cares  to  which  I  had  long  been  unaccus- 
tomed. Could  I  tell  her  that  her  affection  tortured 
me?  Our  house,  which  I  loved  with  all  my  heart, 
had  become  intolerable  to  me.  Early  in  the  morning 
I  made  my  escape  through  the  Kttle  garden  door,  but 
avoided  the  highway  and  travelled  roads  that  I 
might  not  be  compelled  to  submit  to  the  compli- 
ments with  which  the  neighbors  overwhelmed  me  on 
the  subject  of  the  marriage,  which  was  already  known 
throughout  the  country.  All  the  people  who  smiled 
upon  me  seemed  to  be  saying  :  "  It's  none  the  less 
true  that  p6re  Babolain,  for  all  his  innocent  air, 
knows  how  to  feather  his  nest,  and  has  snared  the 
young  doctor  from  Paris  very  cleverly.  " 

I  instinctively  returned  to  the  places  we  had  fre- 
quented when  she  was  a  child.  In  the  forest,  by  the 
bank  of  the  river,  I  found  her  everywhere.  Here  she 
had  paused,  yonder  she  had  smiled  as  she  turned 
towards  me.  It  was  like  so  many  apparitions,  whose 
reality  plunged  me  again  into  the  scenes  of  the  past. 
I  saw  her,  I  talked  with  her.  There  was  something 
of  my  daughter  in  these  scenes ;  she  had  left  traces 
of  her  presence  as  she  passed,  and  I  collected  them 
all  step  by  step,  followed  by  my  dog,  which,  seeing  me 
sad,  became  more  gentle  and  watched  me  with  a 
drooping  head. 

If  instead  of  being  petted,  beloved  by  every  one, 
she  had  been  repulsive  from  her  plainness  and  hated 


244  BABOLAIN. 

for  her  faults,  I,  her  father,  would  have  loved  her  just 
as  much,  and  she  would  never  have  left  me.  In  my 
selfishness  I  fancied  her  sickly  and  repulsive,  and 
thus  had  her  entirely  to  myself. 

The  hardest  moment  of  all  was  that  in  which  I 
was  obliged  to  smile  upon  Joseph  and  consider  him 
openly  as  my  son-in-law.  I  really  believed  I  should 
never  be  able  to  do  it.  In  vain  I  said  to  myself, 
"  Hatred  and  jealousy  blind  me;  Valentine  would  not 
love  him  if  he  was  not  worthy  of  it.  I  detest  him  be- 
cause he  is  superior  to  me,  because  he  possesses 
qualities  which  I  have  not,  it  is  shocking."  I  said  all 
these  things  to  myself,  but  did  not  succeed  in  dimin- 
ishing my  antipathy  to  Joseph,  so  I  took  an  extreme 
course,  embraced  him,  overwhelmed  him  with  protest- 
ations, pressed  his  hands,  stopped  people  to  sing  his 
praises.  I  was  a  liar,  a  false  wretch,  a  scoundrel ; 
but  thanks  to  the  violence  I  did  my  feelings,  I  suc- 
ceeded in  concealing  my  aversion  from  him. 

Two  days  before  the  contract  was  signed,  Doctor 
Bernard,  who  under  his  son's  inHuence  had  become 
strangely  softened,  drew  me  into  a  window  corner 
and  said,  "  I'm  sure  you  haven't  thought  of  getting 
your  wife's  consent." 

"  Good  heavens  !  "  said  I,  despairingly,  "  is  that 
necessary  ?  Then  the  marriage  can't  possibly  take 
place." 

"  Fortunately  Joseph,  who  foresaw  your  negli- 
gence, anticipated  the  difficulty,  and —  " 

"  What !     He  has  seen  my  wife  ?  " 

"  No;  but  Monseigncur  de  Pansol,  brother  of  tlie 
Marquise  de  Vclizy,  was  kind  enough  to  undertake 
the  duty  of  making  the  application.  He  addressed 
himself  to  the  Comtesso  de  Monte  Kevilla,  who  is  a 
very  inHuential  person  in  Rome.  This  Comlesse,  it 
seems,  is  very  intimate  with  your  wife,  for  Monseign- 
ear  de  Pansol  received  Madame  Babolain's  consent 
to  Valentine's  marriage  by  return  mail.     The  docu- 


B ABO  LAIN.  245 

ment  was  accompanied  by  a  letter  from  the  Comtesse 
de  Monte  Revilla,  couched,  it  seems,  in  the  most  ex- 
quisite language.  In  it  she  states  that  Madame  Bab- 
olain,  who  has  been  detained  in  Rome  a  long  time  by 
ill-health,  cannot  be  present  at  her  daughter's  mar- 
riage, but  that  from  afar  the  poor  mother  will  pray 
for  the  happiness  of  her  child,  and  God  will  hear  the 
supplications  of  a  heart  purified  by  affliction.  Mon- 
seigneur  de  Pansol's  eyes  were  full  of  tears  as  he  read 
the  letter.  *  I  clearly  recognize  there,'  said  he,. '  the 
generous  soul  of  the  Comtesse  de  Monte  Revilla,  who 
is  well  fitted  to  be  the  interpreter  and  consoler  of  all 
who  mourn.'" 

"  You  will  excuse  me  for  repeating  these  words," 
added  Bernard  with  great  dignity.  "  I  have  no  power 
to  judge  between  your  wife  and  yourself,  as  you  must 
perceive,  and  your  conscience  will  be  more  eloquent 
than  I." 

Was  it  then  true  that  my  wife  was  unhappy  and 
penitent?  And  for  twenty  years  I  had  made  no  effort 
to  lessen  the  distance  between  us.  If  Esther  had  not 
effaced  the  past  by  twenty  years  of  virtue  ;  if  she  had 
not  been  in  every  way  worthy  of  respect,  would  this 
great  Roman  lady,  this  Comtesse  de  Monte  Revilla, 
have  taken  up  her  defense  so  warmly  ? 

I  still  imagine  I  am  in  a  dream  when  I  think  of 
the  tumult  of  feeling  in  my  heart  during  that  cruel 
week.  The  day  of  the  wedding,  in  particular.  I  am 
conscious  of  having  behaved  lil;^  a  lunatic.  My  head 
was  empty,  my  brain  withered,  I  had  lost  all  control 
over  myself,  there  was  no  longer  any  one  at  the 
helm  ;  and  yet  I  remember  every  detail  of  this  night- 
mare with  the  greatest  precision.  After  having  signed 
the  register  in  the  vestry,  instead  of  carefully  laying 
down  the  pen,  I  let  it  fall,  still  full  of  ink,  and  threw 
myself  into  the  curb's  arms,  calling  him  my  dear 
friend.  A  loud  murmur  made  me  turn  my  head,  and 
1   saw  all  the  bystanders  looking  at  me  .indignantly. 


246  BABOLAIN. 

My  pen  had  dropped  upon  the  dress  of  the  mayor's 
wife  and  made  a  huge  spot.  I  was  not  surprised,  the 
accident  seemed  perfectly  natural ;  but  the  mayor  ap- 
proached me,  saying  in  an  authoritative  tone,  "I  ex- 
pect an  apology,  at  least.  Monsieur  Babolain.  It 
would  be  behaving  like  a  gentleman  not  to  delay  it." 

I  took  his  hands,  clasped  them  in  my  own,  and 
smiling  affectionately  at  him,  said,  "It's  of  no  conse- 
quence; thank  you,  thank  you,  yes,  it's  a  very  fine 
day.". 

The  doctor  and  Monsieur  le  cure  were  compelled 
to  interpose  to  calm  the  mayor,  who  was  positively 
furious.  To  cut  short  any  explanations,  they  made 
all  the  guests  enter  the  carriages  stationed  upon  the 
square.  I  then  perceived  I  had  left  my  overcoat  and 
hat  in  the  vestry,  but  on  entering  the  church  thought 
no  more  about  them ;  and  after  wandering  around  a 
few  moments,  paused  before  the  wax-tapers  the  sex- 
ton had  just  extinguished.  I  could  not  turn  my  eyes 
from  the  bluish  smoke  that  circled  into  the  air,  leav- 
ing a  most  unpleasant  odor.  How  could  this  ascen- 
sional force  be  utilized,  I  thought  to  myself — and  sud- 
denly the  recollection  occurred  to  me  that  I  had  given 
the  tinman  my  bellows  to  put  on  a  new  handle.  I 
hastily  went  out  and  crossed  the  square,  now  per- 
fectly empty.  When  the  tinman  saw  me,  he  cried  out, 
"  Good  gracious,  what's  the  matter.  Monsieur  Babo- 
lain ?  " 

"I've  come  to  ask  for  my  bellows,  my  friend." 

"Why,  I  sent  them  home  to  you  a  fortnight  ago. 
Come  in.  Monsieur  liabolain,  you  have  no  coat,  and 
it's  very  cold." 

"  No,  thank  you,  you  are  too  kind.  I  did  not  re- 
member that  my  bellows  had  been  mended.  I  beg 
your  pardon.  My  son-in  law  is  the  best  of  men.  Let 
me  shake  hands  with  you." 

It  was  not  until  about  seven  o'clock  that  I  re- 
turned hoii\e  ;  1  was   covered  with  mud  and  horribly 


BABOLAIN.  247 

tired,  for  I  had  been  walking  about  the  country  a  long 
time,  hap-hazard,  but  very  eagerly.  On  entering  the 
ante-chamber,  where  servants  in  full  dress,  probably 
hired  at  Blois,  were  rushing  about,  I  found  nryself 
face  to  face  with  Bernard, who  was  giving  orders. 

"  Are  you  crazy,  to  arrive  at  this  hour  and  in  such 
a  condition  ? "    said  he. 

"  I've  just  taken  a  long  walk, — you  ought  to  have 
gone  to  the  table  without  me,  I'm  very  sorry  to  have 
kept  you  waiting." 

This  was  not  true  ;  I  felt  no  regret,  for  everything 
was  a  matter  of  indifference  to  me  except  the  anguish 
ever  ready  to  burst  forth  from  the  depths  of  my  heart ; 
and  my  sole  care  was  so  to  concentrate  my  efforts 
that  I  might  not  lose  my  mastery  over  it.  During 
dinner  I  talked  excessively,  attaching  no  importance 
to  my  words,  and  not  even  trying  to  give  them  a  defi- 
nite meaning.  I  interrupted  everybody  and  broke  in 
upon  the  conversation.  Just  at  the  moment  when 
the  mayor  was  saying  that  Monsieur  le  Sous-prefet 
had  been  unable  to  attend  the  wedding  breakfast  on 
account  of  his  recent  mourning  for  the  loss  of  his 
wife,  I  remember  that,  amid  the  general  silence,  I 
turned  towards  the  steward, who  was  putting  a  plate 
under  my  nose,  and  said  in  a  very  loud  voice  : 

"  No,  I  never  eat  asparagus  ;  it  doesn't  agree 
with  me,  and  besides,  you  have  been  bothering  me 
for  the  last  hour." 

The  mayor,  supposing  the  words  were  addressed 
to  him,  grew  extremely  red,  and  cast  an  astonished 
glance  around  the  table. 

In  vain  Dr.  Bernard  and  Monsieur  le  cur6,  who 
were  in  a  very  lively  mood,  strove  to  diminish  the  la- 
mentable effect  produced  by  my  conduct ;  one  would 
have  said  that  everybody  had  an  icy  mantle  thrown 
over  his  shoulders.  After  the  dinner  was  over,  the 
ladies  all  surrounded  my  child.  I  fancied  I  heard 
the  condoUng  speeches  they  made  to  her,  and  even 


248  BABOLAIJV. 

saw  amid  the  group  my  beloved  Valentine  raise  her 
little  embroidered  handkerchief  to  her  eyes.  This 
was  more  than  I  could  bear.  I  made  my  escape, 
went  "up  to  my  room,  and,  once  in  bed,  poured  forth 
the  tears  that  were  stifling  me. 

Unfortunately  I  had  forgotten  to  lock  myself  in  ; 
for  I  soon  heard  steps  upon  the  staircase,  the  door 
of  my  room  opened  noisily,  and  by  the  light  of  the 
candle  I  saw  Bernard,  whose  face  wore  a  terrible  ex- 
pression. "What  does  all  this  mean,"  he  said,  entering. 
He  was  undoubtedly  about  to  continue  his  speech 
when  he  heard  the  regular  sonorous  sound  of  my 
breathing.  I  feigned  the  deepest  slumber,  and  even 
believe  that  I  somewhat  overdid  my  part.  He  thrust 
both  hands  into  his  pockets,  rattled  his  keys,  then 
folded  his  arms  over  his  breast  without  taking  his 
eyes  from  me,  murmured  a  succession  of  adjectives 
which  left  no  doubt  as  to  his  opinion  of  me,  and  left 
the  room  muttering  :  "  Let  him  sleep  then,  it's  better 
that  he  should." 

He  is  undoubtedly  going  to  tell  Valentine  he  has 
found  me  lying  in  bed,  I  thought,  and  she  will  per- 
haps imagine  that  I  don't  love  her,  that  I  am  indiffer- 
ent to  what  concerns  her.  I  will  go  down  in  a  mo- 
ment, it  is  absolutely  necessary  for  me  to  go  down — 
a  father  cannot  stay  in  bed  at  such  a  moment.  Dur- 
ing this  time  I  heard  the  carriages  rolling  over  the 
avenue  and  slopping  before  the  steps,  the  noise  of 
dishes  coming  from  the  kitchen,  and  the  confused 
sounds  of  the  piano  which  floated  up  from  the  draw- 
ing room.  How  many  years  had  elapsed  since  the 
day  when  1  iiad  undressed  her  by  the  fire.  I  sat  in 
yonder  little  chair  when  I  took  her  on  my  lap  to  rock 
her  to  sleep.  She  broke  tiiat  piece  of  furniture ;  in 
this  corner  she  used  to  play  with  her  doll  ;  and  in  thus 
re-ascending  the  stream  of  my  life,  1  almost  entirely 
lost  my  consciousness  of  what  was  passing  around 
me. 


BABOLAIN.  249 

Suddenly  I  heard  in  the  passage  the  rustling  of 
dresses  and  the  murmur  of  women's  voices.  It 
roused  me  from  my  reverie.  I  rose,  went  to  the  door, 
listened,  and  soon  perceived  that  the  ladies  were  go- 
ing to  disrobe  the  bride. 

So  all  was  over  between  my  daughter  and  myself. 
The  edifice  of  my  life  was  crumbling  into  a  heap  of 
ruins.  Are  the  hopes  of  some  men  made  to  be 
crushed  like  glass  under  the  foot  of  the  passer-by. 
And  I  had  not  even  embraced  my  daughter  before 
being  separated  from  her !  I  cautiously  left  my 
room,  and  pausing  at  every  step  to  listen,  went  down 
the  staircase  and  soon  found  myself  seated  in  the 
garden  on  the  little  bench  near  the  wash-house, 
where  in  her  childhood  she  used  to  beat  the  clothes 
with  a  large  beetle  she  could  scarcely  lift — the  wash- 
erwomen stopped  and  looked  at  her  with  a  laugh. 
I  was  called  from  the  other  end  of  the  garden  to  see 
her — she  was  so  pretty  with  her  little  bare  arms,  and 
the  face  she  made  as  she  lifted  her  burden.  Those 
washing  days  were  happy  times  !  And  now  the  sun 
of  former  years  had  disappeared ;  a  wintry  wind 
moaned  through  the  leafless  trees,  and  the  stream 
flowed  on  beneath  the  melancholy  moonlight ;  all  na- 
ture was  illumined  with  bluish  rays  as  mournful  as 
the  reflections  from  steel.  In  the  distance  the  clock 
at  Favras  slowly  struck  the  hour,  one  by  one,  like 
the  tolling  of  a  passing  bell ;  the  house  soon  became 
silent,  and  the  only  light  was  in  the  large  room  on 
the  ground  floor  which  was  allotted  to  the  young 
couple. 

I  suddenly  rose  with  a  feeling  of  fury.  It  seemed 
as  if  that  apartment  was  the  scene  of  a  most  mon- 
strous crime.  I  would  have  liked  to  destroy  the 
scoundrel  who  had  come  among  us  like  a  robber,  pil- 
laged me,  and  trampled  my  dearest  treasures  under 
foot — she  loved  him. 

I  perceived  that  this  light  would  drive  me  mad  if 


250  BABOLAIN. 

I  watched  it  any  longer.  I  noiselessly  re-entered  the 
house,  went  up  to  my  room,  and  having  wrapped  a 
few  articles  of  underclothing  in  a  handkerchief,  walk- 
ed without  even  turning  my  head,  towards  the  high- 
way, where  the  mail  coach  would  pass  at  dawn. 

"  Why,  bless  my  heart.  Monsieur  Babolain,  I  had 
no  idea  I  should  take  you  to  the  city  this  morning," 
said  the  driver,  taking  my  little  bundle  from  my  hand. 
"  Make  haste ;  I'm  fifteen  minutes  behind  time." 

The  mail  coach,  which  we  always  called  the  pa- 
tache,  I  don't  know  why,  was  hung  very  high  above 
the  wheels  and  had  but  one  narrow  seat,  the  left 
hand  side  of  which  was  occupied  by  the  driver. 
"  You  can't  get  up,  wait  till  I  help  you."  And  the 
honest  man,  who,  spite  of  the  early  hour,  had  already 
been  drinking  too  much,  pulled  me  roughly  towards 
him.  "  You  arc  frozen  and  you've  nothing  to  cover 
you ;  wrap  yourself  in  the  blanket  and  let's  be  off. 
Where  the  devil  are  you  going  in  this  plight,  Mon- 
sieur Babolain  .-• " 

"  I  don't  know — I  am  going  to  Blois — it  is  very 
cold  to-night.  Oh!  how  cold  it  is,"  and  in  fact  my 
teeth  were  chattering. 

"  It  is  cold,  ha  !  ha  !  Monsieur  Babolain,  ha  ! 
ha ! "  said  the  driver,  bursting  into  a  loud  laugh. 
Then  speaking  to  his  mare  which  was  trotting  brave- 
ly along,  "  Get  up,  get  up,  Grisctte  !  It's  cold  to-night, 
but  not  to  everybody,  and  it's  my  opinion  that  there  are 
some  people  at  your  house  who  are  not  cold.  Get 
up,  get  up.  If  she  doesn't  trot  up  hill  we  shall  never 
make  up  our  fifteen  minutes."  He  cracked  his  whip. 
"  It's  not  strange.  Mademoiselle  Babolain  is  a  fine 
slip  of  a  girl  and  Monsieur  Joseph's  a  handsome 
man.  Ah  !  you're  going  to  laugh;  for  my  part  I  like 
these  things;  though  my  hair  is  grey,  I  like  'em  all  the 
same.  When  my  daughter  was  married,  ha !  ha ! 
ha  !  "  He  drew  his  huge  fur  glove  across  his  nose. 
"When   my  daughter  was  married,  ah!  that  was  a 


BABOLAIN.  25  r 

time.  Get  up,  get  up — I  wasn't  sober  for  three  days, 
ha  !  ha  !  on  account  of  the  civiUties  people  showed 
me.  It's  no  He  ;  for  three  days !  There's  nothing 
more  jolly  than  to  have  a  daughter  married  ;  people 
hug  each  other  in  the  corners,  push,  elbow,  get  red, 
break  the  dishes — oh !  it's  a  fine  thing.  Yes,  Mon- 
sieur Babolain,  I  wasn't  sober — If  this  mare  don't 
get  over  the  ground  fast,  I  don't  know  where  you'll 
find  one  that  does.  I'll  astonish  you  presently ;  why, 
this  beast  knows  what  time  it  is  and  is  trying  to 
make  up  the  fifteen  minutes.  You'll  see  that  she'll 
trot  up  hill  without  my  saying  a  word  to  her.  It 
makes  no  difference,  but  it's  a  queer  idea  to  travel 
at  this  hour — still  everybody  must  attend  to  his  own 
affairs,  of  course."  He  continued  to  chatter  on  in 
this  way  for  a  long  time.  On  reaching  the  Faubourg 
de  Vienne  he  said,  "  Where  will  you  get  down  ?  Eh  ! 
Monsieur  Babolain,  why  don't  you  answer  me  ?  Are 
you  asleep  ?  "  He  took  the  reins  in  one  hand  and 
shook  me  with  the  other.  "  Come,  are  you  dead  ? 
Here's  a  pretty  piece  of  business.  And  fifteen  min- 
utes behind  time  to  boot." 

I  heard  him  perfectly  well,  but  I  could  not  speak. 
I  seemed  paralyzed  by  the  cold,  and  my  sobs  almost 
suffocated  me.  He  stopped  before  the  door  of  an 
inn,  got  down,  and  rattled  the  knocker  violently. 
After  an  instant's  delay  a  half  dressed  waiter,  in  a 
cotton  night-cap,  appeared.  Both  took  me  out  of 
the  carriage  and  laid  me  on  a  billiard  table.  "It's 
Monsieur  Babolain  of  Favras,  who  has  been  taken  ill 
in  my  carriage,"  said  the  driver,  "  wake  the  people 
up  and  nurse  him  carefully.  I  can't  wait,  I'm  twenty- 
five  minutes  behind  time."  He  mounted  nimbly  to 
his  seat.  "  Get  up,  get  up,"  and  he  went  noisily  away. 

Again  I  hovered  between  life  and  death  for  sev- 
eral months,  and  when  the  danger  was  over,  Bernard, 
who  had  nursed  me  with  great  devotion,  said  that 
my  recovery  would  be  extremely  slow.     I  was  com- 


252  BABOT.AIN. 

pletely  exhausted,  my  hair  had  become  perfectly 
white,  and  I  could  scarcely  recognize  myself  in  the 
glass. 

My  daughter  had  been  compelled  to  leave  Favras 
almost  at  the  commencement  of  my  sickness,  to  fol- 
low her  husband,  who  could  not  consent  to  a  long 
stay  in  the  country.  I  had  a  vague  recollection  of 
this  departure — it  was  one  evening  just  after  I  had 
had  a  violent  attack ;  she  entered  the  room  in  her 
travelling  dress.  I  fancied  she  was  going  to  town, 
and  for  weeks,  it  seems,  asked  if  she  had  returned. 
Afterwards  when  old  Marianne,  who  had  remained 
with  me,  told  me  that  my  children  were  permanently 
settled  in  Paris,  when  I  saw  the  unfurnished  house,  the 
empty  rooms,  the  deserted  garden,  the  clumps  of 
trees  choked  with  brambles,  I  was  astonished  not  to 
find  myself  reduced  to  despair.  One  would  have 
said  that  the  power  of  being  moved  was  utterly  de- 
stroyed within  me.  Had  Providence  broken,  one  by 
one,  all  the  ties  that  bound  me  to  this  world  to  ren- 
der the  death  I  had  just  miraculously  escaped  easier 
for  me  ?  Is  there  a  sort  of  moral  toilette  which  ren- 
ders the  great  passage  from  life  to  death  less  diffi- 
cult.'  Thoughts  could  no  longer  be  formed  within 
my  exhausted  brain  ;  my  weakness  was  like  a  shield 
which  prevented  outside  impressions  from  reaching 
me  ;  insensible  alike  to  regrets  and  hopes,  without 
past  or  future,  the  hours  and  days  glided  by  empty 
and  colorless;  I  looked  without  seeing,  existed  with- 
out living. 

One  day  when  they  had  rolled  my  arm  chair  to 
the  threshold  of  the  door,  I  saw  a  stranger  who,  ac- 
companied by  Marianne,  was  examining  everything 
with  great  care.  He  soon  came  towards  me,  and 
very  politely  told  me  that  this  little  property  suited 
him  very  well.  It  did  not  occur  to  me  to  think 
these  words  strange,  and  in  the  evening  when  told 
ihat  my  son-in-law  had  offered  our  house  for  sale,  1 


B ABO  LAIN. 


253 


was  not  disturbed.  What  did  I  care  for  the  dwelling, 
now  Valentine  had  left  it  ? 

I,  too,  left  this  refuge  where  our  lives  were  to 
have  ended. 

A  covered  cart  came  for  us  at  daybreak  ;  they 
put  in  the  two  boxes  which  contained  all  my  worldly 
possessions  ;  I  took  in  my  lap  the  flowerpot  in  which 
was  a  twig  from  my  daughter's  tree,  planted  before 
the  house  with  my  own  hands  the  morning  after  we 
entered  it,  and  we  set  out. 

A  moment  comes  when  we  tear  a  whole  chapter 
from  our  lives  without  any  very  great  sorrow.  For  a 
long  time  I  could  see  amid  the  trees  the  red  roof  of  the 
house,  the  rain  gauge,  and  the  poplar  by  the  wash 
house,  and — ^at  a  turn  in  the  road  all  disappeared. 


The  old  mansion  my  daughter  occupied  was  very 
stately  in  its  appearance.  It  was  situated  on  the  Rue 
du  Regard,  between  two  silent  convents.  The  prin- 
cipal courtyard,  which  one  entered  first,  was  sur- 
rounded by  old  stone  posts,  bound  with  iron,  and 
connected  by  heavy  chains.  A  footman,  who  looked 
like  the  beadle  of  the  church  at  Favras,  helped  me 
out  of  the  carriage,  supported  me,  and  took  me  to  a 
room  on  the  first  floor.  The  ^apartment  was  some- 
what dull  and  gloomy;  my  first  thought  on  entering 
the  ante-chamber  was  that  my  beloved  daughter  must 
be  heartily  tired  amid  such  surroundings.  The  walls 
were  bare,  the  furniture  was  old,  faded,  and  by  no 
means  attractive  in  shape.  A  door  opened,  Valentine 
came  to  meet  me,  and  bending  her  forehead  to  my 
lips  with  a  manner  in  which  there  was  a  shade  of  fear, 
murmured: 

"  God  has  not  been  deaf  to  our  prayers,  father. 
You  have  at  last  recovered  your  health,  let  me  take 
you  to  the  room  that  has  been  prepared  for  you." 

It  was  nearly  a  year  since  we  had  seen  each  other, 
a  very  long  time  for  a  first  separation,  and  I  had  often 


2  54  B  ABO  LAIN. 

thought  of  the  first  kiss  I  would  give  her  when  I  saw  her 
again ;  but  her  manners  instantly  checked  all  demon- 
strations of  feeling.  I  don't  think  any  woman  could  be 
more  stately  than  she  was  then.  In  addition  to  the 
fact  that  her  lovely  face  had  assumed  a  very  grave 
expression,  she  was  clad  in  a  dark  dress,  cut  high  in 
the  throat,  and  entirely  destitute  of  trimming.  Her 
hair,  which  formerly  curled  according  to  its  own  will, 
was  now  smooth,  flat,  and  covered  with  a  cap  whose 
ruches  framed  her  face  in  a  melancholy  way.  How 
different  she  was  from  the  little  girl  of  former  days 
who  compelled  me  to  dance,  laughing  so  heartily  at 
my  awkwardness !  Alas,  if  she  could  no  longer 
laugh,  neither  could  I  dance.  Everything  changes  in 
life. 

Valentine  soon  left  me  with  an  apology.  She  had 
a  great  many  people  to  receive,  she  said,  and  in  fact 
I  had  heard  the  bell  ring  several  times  with  a  sound 
like  an  ancient  bell  from  a  monastery.  I  remained 
alone  in  the  dining-room,  sitting  near  the  window. 
Suddenly  I  saw  a  heavy,  shabby  carriage,  drawn  by  a 
stout  horse,  enter  the  courtyard,  turn,  and  stop  before 
the  steps  of  the  house.  The  coachman,  who  looked 
like  a  retired  merchant,  got  down  from  his  seat, 
opened  the  door  wi^h  great  difficulty,  and  a  man 
alighted  who, though  still  young,  had  a  weary  expres- 
sion, a  dull,  yellowish  complexion,  stooping  shoul- 
ders, a  face  smoothly  shaven  as  a  deacon's,  and  long 
hair  floating  over  tlie  collar  of  his  coat.  His  crushed 
hat  rested  on  the  back  of  his  head  ;  he  carried  in  one 
hand  a  quantity  of  pamphlets  and  papers,  and  with 
the  other  drew  round  him  an  overcoat,  which, drag- 
ing  on  the  ground,  seemed  to  follow  him  reluctantly. 
He  wore  a  black  coat,  with  square-cut  skirts,  much 
too  large  for  him,  and  buttoned  awry.  'J'he  retired 
merchant  took  out  a  black  box  with  a  handle,  and  a 
foot  muff,  and  followed  his  master,  who  had  already 
entered  the  vestibule. 


B ABO  LAIN.  255 

It  was  some  instants  before  I  recognized  Valen- 
tine's husband  in  the  personage  with  the  coat  so  much 
too  large  for  him.  I  greatly  dreaded  meeting  him,for 
I  always  felt  an  emotion  of  mingled  antipathy  and 
terror.  Fortunately  his  cold,  polite  welcome  greatlj- 
simplified  matters.  He  spoke  to  me  as  if  he  had 
parted  from  me  that  very  morning. 

"  How  do  you  do,  father,"  said  he,  in  a  faint 
voice,  "  the  journey  must  have  fatigued  you." 

"  Good-morning,  I  really  have  very  little  strength." 
"  Let  me  see  your  tongue.  It  is  terrible." 
He  drew  a  large  silver  watch  from  his  pocket  and 
looked  sternly  at  the  face  while  he  felt  my  pulse, 
then  listened  at  my  back,  looked  steadily  at  me,  and 
went  away  without  saying  anything.  I  was  very  glad 
of  it. 

One  might  have  thought,  and  at  first  I  myself  be- 
lieved, that  in  her  husband's  company  Valentine  was 
the  most  wretched  of  women ;  but  I  was  soon  unde- 
ceived :  my  daughter  loved  Joseph  with  all  her  heart, 
and  wished  for  nothing  beyond  the  life  she  was  lead- 
ing. She  rose  early  in  the  morning,  wrote  until  a  very 
late  hour  at  night,  and  during  the  whole  day  either 
received  company  or  went  out ;  but  whenever  one  met 
her  she  was  preoccupied  and  seemed  to  be  late  for 
some  appointment.  Often,  in  the  midst  of  the  meals, 
which  were  quickly  despatched  though  very  abun- 
dant, especially  on  fast  days — my  son-in-law  being 
fond  of  good  living — I  saw  them  exchange  glances 
which  were  like  mute  confidences.  Then  I  hastily 
looked  at  my  plate  and  dared  not  raise  my  eyes.  At 
other  times  they  uttered  fragments  of  sentences  whose 
meaning  I  could  not  understand.  Valentine  drew  a 
little  memorandum  book  from  her  pocket  and  hastily 
took  a  note.  By  a  thousand  incidents  I  perceived 
that  there  was  a  perfect  understanding  between  them. 
At  times  they  had  the  appearance  of  partners  settling 
some  business  matter.     I  thought  I  understood  that 


256  B ABO  LAIN. 

they  went  into  society  in  the  Faubourg  Saint  Ger- 
main, and  in  some  way  or  other  were  phaying  an  im- 
portant part.  My  daughter,  who  had  connections 
witli  a  great  many  persons,  also  maintained  an  exten- 
sive correspondence.  She  was  treasurer  of  a  chari- 
table society,  which  was  also  pervaded  with  some 
flavor  of  politics  I  could  never  exactly  define. 

My  children's  seriousness  was,  moreover,  more 
apparent  than  real  :  they  were  joyous  at  certain  pe- 
riods; twenty  times  I  surprised  Valentine  passing  her 
white  hand  over  her  old  young  husband's  pale  fore- 
head, and  looking  at  him  with  an  expression  of  mingled 
tenderness  and  admiration.  By  what  moral  malady 
could  she  be  attacked  to  love  this  fellow.  Doubt- 
less she  was  attracted  by  his  energy,  his  ambitious 
projects,  with  which  she  was  associated  !  She  must 
consider  him  a  hero  !  And  then  this  new  life  was  so 
different  from  her  former  existence.  All  this  charmed 
her;  she  was  grateful  to  him  for  his  relations,  his  in- 
liuence,  his  mansion,  his  establishment — the  sight  of 
me,  which  recalled  constraint  and  obscurity,  could  not 
be  agreeable  to  her.  1  did  everything  in  the  world 
that  1  might  not  be  in  their  way  :  1  tried  to  pass  unob 
served  ;  1  entered  the  dining-room  just  in  time  to  sit 
down  to  the  table,  and  went  away  as  soon  as  I  had 
swallowed  the  last  mouthful,  clearly  understanding 
that  they  took  pleasure  in  being  together  and  talking 
freely.  1  have  spent  very  sorrowful  hours  in  that  little 
room,  which  1  dared  not  leave,  lest  I  might  be  intru- 
sive. If  I  had  been  able  to  unpack  my  boxes — 
but  there  was  not  room.  They  were  in  a  corner, 
piled  one  above  another ;  I  looked  at  them,  saying  to 
myself:  "  'Jhere  are  my  books,  my  papers,  and  a 
thousand  little  keepsakes  whose  possession  would 
change  my  whole  life."'  I  was  like  a  shipwrecked 
man,  who  sees  tiie  land  and  cannot  reach  it.  To 
open  those  boxes  and  spread  out  my  treasures  had 
become  an  ideal  vision  to  me. 


BABOLALW  257 

One  day  as  I  came  in  to  breakfast,  my  son-in-law, 
who  was  looking  over  some  letters,  said  to  his  wife, 
"  Why,  here  is  some  news  from  Favras  !  "  I  could  not 
help  starting.     "  The  business  is  settled,''  he  added. 

"  Hum  !  hum  !  "  said  Valentine. 

He  threw  down  the  letter  and  turned  to  the  serv- 
ant. "  Are  there  many  people  in  the  drawing-room, 
Frangois  ?" 

"  They're  beginning  to  come  in  to.  wait  for  Mon- 
sieur's office  hours ;  there  are  ten  people  already,  and 
five  are  monks." 

"  Ah  !  five  holy  Fathers  already  !  You  are  very 
attentive  to  them,  Francois,  are  you  not  ?  I  particu- 
larly insist  upon  it." 

"  Day  before  yesterday,"  observed  Valentine,  "  I 
saw  all  their  dripping  cloaks  piled  upon  the  table  in 
the  ante-room." 

"  Poor  Fathers,  they  had  been  out  in  the  rain." 

"  And  the  floor  was  drenched.  You  must  attend 
to  this  matter,  Frangois." 

"Madame  maybe  sure  that  I  do  my  best.  I've 
washed  up  the  ante-chamber  and  laid  a  carpet  on  the 
room  where  they  walk  up  and  down  to  wait  for  the 
office  hours." 

"  It's  provoking  that  the  holy  Fathers  should  be 
kept  waiting,''  murmured  my  son-in-law.  "  their  time 
is  precious.  It's  absolutely  indispensable  to  have  a 
private  waiting-room  near  my  office.  I've  said  so  a 
hundred  times." 

"  Hum  !  hum  !  "  said  Valentine. 

"  Hum  !  hum  !  "  replied  her  husband. 

The  evening  of  that  very  day  I  was  in  my  room, 
watering  the  slip  I  had  brought  from  Favras,  when  I 
heard  a  loud  knock  at  the  door.  Valentine  entered. 
She  must  have  some  important  reason  for  coming  to 
pay  me  a  visit,  and  I  feared  that  I  might  read  traces 
of  annoyance  in  her  face.  I  set  down  the  carafe  and 
hastily  pushed  the  slip  into  a  corner. 
17 


258  BAB  OLA  in: 

Far  from  being  angry,  she  said  smiling:  "What  is 
the  bit  of  wood  in  that  little  flower  pot  ? " 

"  Oh,  nothing,  my  dear — a  little  tree." 

"  That  withered  twig  !  " 

"  Yes,  it's  a  slip.  I  was  watering  it  a  little,  it  isn't 
dead;  one  might  think  so,  but  it  isn't." 

I  was  reassured  by  the  pleasant  expression  of  her 
face,  even  thought  for  a  moment  that  my  daughter 
was  restored  to  me,  and  the  idea  of  clasping  her  in 
my  arms  suddenly  entered  my  head,  but  from  motives 
of  prudence  I  succeeded  in  controlling  myself  and 
continued :  "  It's  a  little  branch  from  your  tree  ;  I 
brought  it  from  Favras."  It  seemed  as  if  I  was  breath- 
ing a  whiff  of  its  invigorating  air.  "  I  wanted  to  take 
something  before  I  came  away,  you  know." 

"Poor  father,"  murmured  Valentine,  smiling  at 
me  as  we  soothe  a  child.  "  My  poor  papa,  you  have 
been  deeply  grieved.  Such  a  leave-taking  is  always 
painful  at  first." 

"  The  grass  was  full  of  violets." 

"Of  course,  it's  the  season  for  them." 

"  There  were  beautiful  little  fresh  leaves  every- 
where and — so  many  memories.  You  remember  the 
new  ivy.''  Well,  I  measured  it  before  I  came  away, 
it  reaches  to  the  study  window.  Oh  !  Favras  is  a 
pretty  estate.  Yes,  of  course  I  was  a  little  sorry  to 
leave  our  trees ;  at  my  age  we  don't  always  have  time 
to  make  new  friends.  They  tossed  their  boughs 
when  they  saw  me  go  away.  Perhaps  it  was  the 
wind,  perhaps  it  was  also  emotion.  Who  knows .'' 
These  beings  have  more  feeling  than  people  think. 
They  all  spoke  of  you.  '  You'll  tell  Valentine  not  to 
forget  us  entirely,  won't  you,  my  friend.''  She  played 
under  our  branches  ;  we  have  sheltered,  protected, 
possessed  her — '  that's  what  they  said,  and  many  other 
things  too.  It's  a  certain  fact  that  they  have  retain- 
ed the  invisible  trace  of  your  passage,  and  everything, 
the  walls  of  the  house,  the  very  sand  on  the  walks 
was  pervaded  with  your  image — " 


BABOLAIN.  259 

I  did  not  look  at  her  while  saying  all  this,  I  was 
scraping  the  wood  of  the  arm-chair  with  my  nail, 
hunting  a  grain  of  dust,that  I  might  not  allow  her  to 
perceive  my  emotion ;  but  I  felt  her  eyes  fixed  upon 
me  with  a  glance  of  mingled  tenderness  and  compas- 
sion. She  v/as  doubtless  thinking  :  "  Poor  father, 
how  old  and  broken  he  is!  "  And  at  the  same  time 
she  thought  me  very  silly  to  talk  to  the  trees  and  plant 
half-dead  twigs  in  little  flower-pots.  Yet  I  could 
not  help  adding  :  "  Before  I  came  away  I  sat  down 
on  your  bench  near  the  willows  and  the  river  began 
to  prattle.  If  you  knew  what  a  memory  it  has  ? 
When  you  went  there  you  fancied  yourself  alone,  you 
were  in  the  shade,  in  the  open  air,  you  thought  with- 
out restraint ;  well,  the  river  heard  you  think,  and 
wrote  all  this  on  its  tablets  ;  on  the  stems  of  the  tall 
grasses,  under  the  leaves  of  the  water-lilies,  in  the 
nooks  of  the  bank — I  have  found  the  treasure  again. 
It  has  kept  portraits  of  you,  all  of  which  I  have  seen. 
There  are  some  when  you  were  very  small,  in  your 
little  hat  and  blue  plaid  dress — do  you  remember 
your  blue  plaid  dress  ? — and  others  when  you  were  a 
large  girl,  and  still  others —  There  were  thousands 
of  them,  for  the  river  has  never  reflected  the  smallest 
fragment  of  you  without  tenderly  preserving  the 
image.  Thus,  my  darhng,  affection  surrounds  you 
unconsciously  to  yourself,  and  one  is  beloved  without 
desiring  it.  There  are  spots  on  the  lawn  where  you 
planted  your  little  heel,  and  the  grass  has  withered." 

"  Ha  1  ha !  ha  1  why,  that  is  very  poetical,  my 
poor  father,  let  us  be  sensible." 

"Yes,  the  grass  didn't  grow  again,  and  it  was 
right ;  why  not  die  under  a  pleasant  impression,  bear- 
ing away  a  memory,  a  caress.  Plants  have  hearts. 
Who  will  ever  know  what  your  tree  felt  when  I  bade 
it  farewell  and  cut  off  a  little  branch  ?  " 

"  Come,  come  my  poor  papa.  You  must  calm 
yourself.     Is  that  clock  right  ?  " 


26o  BABOLAIN. 

"I  don't  know,  my  dear.  The  clock  yonder 
struck  the  hours  exactly,  whether  th'ey  were  sad  or 
happy.  It  always  struck,  and  it  is  natural,  clocks 
are  made  to  strike  ;  one  might  suppose  them  indif- 
ferent, but  to  a  delicate  ear  how  many  variations 
there  are  in  the  sound." 

"  No  doubt,  but  one  ought  not  to  let  one's  imag- 
ination run  riot  in  this  way.  Besides  I'm  in  a  hurry, 
and  I  believe  this  clock  is  slow,  and  then  it  is  bad  to 
consume  one's  life  in  useless  regrets.  You  know 
very  well,  and  have  confessed  yourself,  that  my  hus- 
band,being  detained  in  Paris  by  his  profession,  could 
not  keep  the  little  hermitage  at  Favras." 

"  Oh  !  of  course,  my  dear,  you  couldn't  keep  the 
little  place,  and  besides  it  wasn't  handsome  enough 
for  you." 

"  Poor  papa !  You  see  my  husband  has  left  you 
to  enjoy  it  as  long  as  possible.  During  your  long  ill- 
ness and  convalescence  you  were  left  there  perfectly 
quiet,  perfectly  at  home,  and  to  all  the  offers  that  were 
made  him  my  husband  invariably  replied,  '  Favras 
won't  be  sold  until  my  fatlier-in-law"s  health  is  entire- 
ly restored,  and  he  is  settled  in  Paris.' " 

"  I  am  very  grateful  to  you,  my  child  ;  I  delayed 
the  sale  most  unintentionally,  but  ten  oj^portunities 
will  occur  in  place  of  one,  it  is  so  pretty,  oh !  you 
will  easily  find  a  purchaser." 

"  That  is  done  already ;  my  husband  learned  it 
this  morning  from  a  letter.     Favras  is  sold." 

"  Sold  1  "  I  cried  in  spite  of  myself,  but  instantly 
regained   my  self-command  and  added:  "So    much' 
the  better,  so  much  the  better,  since  you  want  to  get 
rid  of  it.' 

"  You  have  everything  you  need,  haven't  you,  my 
poor  father  ? " 

"  Yes,  my  child,  thank  you." 

"  You  are  at  home  in  this  house,  you  must  not  be 
untler  any  restraint,  I  should  be  distressed  if  you 


BABOLATN.  26 1 

hesitated  to  ask  for  what  you  want.  But  it  isn't  good 
for  you  to  occupy  this  room.  It  faces  the  north,  and 
is  exposed  to  the  wind." 

"  I  have  not  noticed  it." 

"The  wind  is  terrible  on  this  side,  and  then  these 
windows  look  out  upon  tlie  gardens ;  it's  very  dull 
for  you  here.  Fortunately  I  have  a  better  one  to  of- 
fer you  :  at  the  other  end  of  the  suite  of  apartments 
there  is  a  very  cheerful  chamber,  looking  out  upon 
the  court-yard  and  facing  the  south.  You  will  see 
the  people  passing  in  and  out,  and  have  a  Prussian 
fire-place,  which  is  excellent.  My  husband  says  that 
merely  on  account  of  your  health,  you  must — " 

"As  you  choose,  my  children,  I  shall  be  comforta- 
ble anywhere." 

"  Then  it's  all  settled  ;  good-bye  father.  I'm  very 
late." 

One  cannot  form  an  idea  of  the  grace  and  charm 
of  her  whole  manner;  she  went  away  smiling  at  me. 
I  would  willingly  have  lived  in  a  cellar  to  be  some- 
times cheered  by  one  of  those  smiles. 

An  hour  after,  the  footman  entered  ;  he  came  by 
my  daughter's  orders  to  assist  in  removing  my  bag- 
gage to  another  room,  and  began  to  rummage  through 
the  drawers  in  the  bureau.  I  should  have  greatly 
preferred  to  have  him  let  me  do  it,  for  my  hnen  I 
knew  had  been  neglected  a  long  time,  and  the  cloth 
I  had  bought  of  a  weaver  in  Favras  was  very  coarse 
and  rough.  I  trembled  lest  the  footman  should  no- 
tice all  this,  not  for  myself,  but  my  daughter,  who 
might  be  affected  by  her  servant's  opinion. 

"  I'm  really  very  sorry  to  give  you  this  trouble," 
I  said  to  the  man. 

"  Madame  told  me  to  do  it,"  he  answered,  contin- 
uing his  work. 

"  My  daughter  is  too  kind — she  thinks  of  every- 
thing— I  am  sure  you  must  feel  great  affection  for 
her,  don't  you  ?  " 


262  B ABO  LAIN. 

"  Everybody  does  Madame  justice." 

I  knew  very  well  that  it  was  not  proper  to  talk  so, 
but  I  had  so  little  opportunity  to  speak  of  her,  and 
besides  the  man's  coldness  excited  me.  "  My  daugh- 
ter is  a  superior  woman.  When  she  was  a  child  her 
reflections  astonished — " 

"  Does  Monsieur  want  me  to  move  the  boxes 
too  ?  " 

"  I  don't  care.  My  daughter  is  hasty,  I  confess, 
but  when  she  is  angry  or  impatient  for  a  moment,  you 
must  not  be  vexed.  A  cross  word  scarcely  escapes 
her  lips  before  she  is  sorry  for  it — you  see  I  know  my 
daughter  thoroughly.  Stop,  my  friend,  let  me  help 
you,  you  are  too  much  loaded  to  open  the  door.  Is 
the  room  where  we  are  going  at  the  end  of  this  pas- 
sage ?  "  It  was  a  closet  rather  than  a  bed-room,  but 
by  means  of  pushing  the  bed  a  little  farther  back, 
and  giving  up  a  wardrobe,  which,  moreover,  was  of 
no  great  use  to  me,  I  succeeded  in  making  room  for 
an  arm  chair  and  a  small  table  near  the  window. 
After  all,  I  did  not  need  a  larger  room.  This  re- 
minded me  of  the  little  chamber  at  the  normal  school, 
where  I  had  had  so  many  dreams,  so  many  plans  for  the 
future.  Did  not  Providence,  in  perpetually  pushing 
rae  into  a  Uttle  corner,  act  the  part  of  a  good  mother, 
seek  to  prove  the  folly  of  my  ambition,  and  recall  me 
to  reason  } 

Thanks  to  the  footman,  who  was  very  willing  to 
help  me,  I  removed  the  lid  of  one  of  my  boxes  and 
set  about  adorning  my  cell.  The  first  object  which 
came  to  hand  was  the  very  one  that  was  dearest  to 
me,  a  plan  of  Favras  I  had  made  myself,  and  in 
which  the  smallest  corners  of  the  estate  had  been 
carefully  marked — the  bench  by  the  wash-house, 
the  rain-gauge,  Valentine's  tree,  the  suu-dial,  and  the 
different  places  where  I  had  let  my  daughter  play. 
.Everywhere  there  were  dots,  signs,  numbers,  which 
recalled  a  happy  or  sorrowful  memory.     It  was  like 


BABOLAIN.  263 

a  library,  where  I  found  all  the  chapters  of  twenty 
years  of  my  life  ;  a  cemetery  too,  where  the  emotions 
of  former  days  rested  peacefully  under  their  little 
black  crosses. 

I  hung  this  drawing  by  the  side  of  a  portrait  of 
my  Valentine,  and  a  sketch  in  ink  and  red  pencil  my 
wife  had  made  for  her  great  picture  of  Cain  and 
Abel. 

I  had  been  on  the  point  of  burning  this  sketch  a 
hundred  times,  but  could  never  resolve  to  do  so.  Sor- 
rows and  joys  are  the  black  and  white  stones  of  the 
same  edifice  ;  the  former  support  the  latter.  Not  an 
hour  of  existence  can  be  effaced  or  cursed,  the  most 
miserable  have  been  necessary,  and  were  sometimes 
the  keystones  of  the  arches  which  have  prevented 
the  whole  building  from  falling. 

I  was  soon  settled  in  my  cabin.  I  seemed  to  my- 
self like  a  passenger  on  a  ship — true,  I  had  not  all 
my  comforts,  but  I  improved  my  situation  every  day, 
and  then  I  was  only  separated  by  a  partition  from  the 
room  where  my  daughter  worked,  so  I  could  hear  her 
move,  knew  that  she  was  near  me.  She  came  to  see 
me  once,  but  by  some  inconceivable  fatality  the  bot- 
tom of  her  dress  caught  on  one  of  the  nails  of  a  box, 
and  a  large  rent  was  torn  which  put  her  in  an  ill- 
temper.  She  reproached  me  sharply  for  my  want  of 
neatness,  assuring  me  that  she  should  be  humiliated 
in  her  servants'  eyes — but  what  is  the  use  of  recalling 
all  this  ?  She  had  torn  her  dress,  that  fully  explained 
her  irritation,  besides  it  is  true  that  my  chamber  was 
very  untidy,  I  had  so  little  room. 

One  evening,  when  there  had  been  company  at 
dinner,  my  daughter  said  somewhat  tartly:  "  I  know' 
people  are  not  foppish  at  your  age,  my  poor  father, 
but  really,  neglect  of  one's  person  has  some  limits, 
and  we  ought  to  avoid  certain  styles  of  dress  from  re- 
spect to  others." 

Yet  I  had  worn  my  chestnut  coat,  as  I  always  did 


264  BAPOLAIN. 

to  dine  with  my  children.  "  I  thought  I  was  suitably 
dressed,"  I  said,  in  an  embarrassed  tone.  "  It  is  be- 
cause— I  have  no  other  coat,  my  dear,  or  at  least  the 
others  are  far  less  presentable  than,  this." 

"  Well,  buy  some,  what  shall  I  say  to  you  ?  I  can't 
write  to  your  tailor  myself.  You'll  go  so  far  that  my 
husband's  patience  will  be  exhausted.  For  my  part, 
I  haven't  the  strength  to  be  a  shield  between  you  per- 
petually, to  be  constantly  soothing,  excusing,  pallia- 
ting. At  least  make  some  exertion  to  render  the  task 
less  difficult." 

How  could  I  have  displeased  my  son-in-law  ?  We 
did  not  exchange  ten  words  a  week.  I  entered  my 
room  and  carefully  examined  my  coat.  Its  condition, 
I  must  say,  was  much  worse  than  I  had  supposed  ; 
several  buttons  were  missing,  the  seams  were  white, 
and  the  elbow  was  even —  My  children  must  certainly 
be  ashamed  of  me,  and  the  idea  had  never  entered 
my  head.  In  a  moment  of  despair,  I  snatched  off  my 
cravat  and  collar;  I  already  saw  my  son-in-law  driv- 
ing me  from  the  house  like  a  beggar.  The  important 
point  was  to  secure  some  clothes  as  soon  as  possible  ; 
but  when  I  had  taken  the  little  canvas  bag  in  which 
I  kept  my  money  out  of  my  trunk,  and  spread  the 
copper  and  silver  coins  on  the  table,  I  perceived  with 
terror  that  my  whole  fortune  did  not  exceed  thirty- 
two  francs. 

It  was  a  most  depressing  feeling.  I  did  not  re- 
proach myself  for  having  given  my  daughter  what  I 
possessed  ;  if  1  had  had  it  to  do  over  again,  I  should 
have  taken  the  same  course,  but  I  realized  for  the 
first  time  that  1  should  always  be  dependent  upon  my 
son-in-law.  Fortunately  1  remembered  llie  publisher 
of  my  dictionary,  of  which  I  had  heard  nothing  for 
two  years.  I  went  there  early  the  next  morning,  not 
witliout  difficulty,  for  my  limbs  were  still  very  weak, 
On  finding  myself  again  in  the  book  store  which  I  had 
once  entered  with  so  much  confidence,  I  almost  lost 


BABOLAIN.  265 

courage,  I  felt  so  aged,  so  changed,  so  humiliated,  in 
my  chestnut  coat.  Ah  !  I  should  have  gone  away 
immediately  if  the  point  in  question  had  not  been  to 
buy  new  clothes.  When  I  said  that  I  came  in  be- 
half of  Monsieur  Babolain,  the  publisher  looked  earn- 
estly at  me,  no  doubt  he  had  some  vague  idea  that 
he  knew  me.  "  The  dictionary  is  sold  very  little 
now,"  said  he ;  "  it  was  a  good  book,  but  is  now 
strangely  out  of  fashion.  It's  possible  there  may  be 
a  balance  due  on  the  account,  I'll  see  about  it." 

He  approached  a  green  tube  that  hung  over  his 
table,  and  put  the  opening  to  his  mouth. 

"  It's  possible  there  may  be  a  balance  due  on  the 
account,"  I  thought — "  but  suppose  they  owe  me  noth- 
ing— what  is  to  be  done  then  ?  " 

"  What  has  become  of  Monsieur  Babolain  ?  "  said 
he,  looking  at  me  again  with  an  expression  of  mingled 
curiosity  and  compassion. 

"  He  has  met  with — reverses,"  I  replied,  "  many 
little  troubles,  and  therefore  sees  very  few  people." 

"  But  he  hasn't  given  up  work  on  that  account  ?  " 

"  Ah  !  no,  and  even  in  his — peculiar  position,  I 
think  he  would  be  glad  to  have  some  occupation." 

"  I'll  willingly  afford  him  an  opportunity  from  time 
to  time,  if  Monsieur  Babolain  would  revise  certain 
books  we  publish,  whose  proof-sheets  require  the  ex- 
perience of  a  professional  man.  This  sort  of  work  is 
poorly  paid,  it  is  true,  but — " 

It  seemed  as  if  heaven  was  opening  before  me. 
So  I  had  the  means  of  being  a  burden  to  no  one,  I 
was  going  to  work  again,  as  in  former  days,  and  recover 
my  self-respect.  Into  what  a  gulf  I  should  have 
fallen  but  for  this  unexpected  offer. 

A  clerk  entered  and  placed  a  paper  upon  the 
desk. 

"  According  to  this  account,  we  owe  Monsieur 
Babolain  three  hundred  and  ninety-five  francs  for  his 
copyright."     The  clerk  retired  and  the  publisher  took 


266  babolain: 

a  five-hundred-franc  note  from  a  drawer  and  handed 
it  to  me.     "  Will  you  give  me  a  receipt  ?  "  said  he. 

My  eyes  were  dim  with  grateful  tears,  while  a 
feeUng  of  shame  for  having  concealed  my-  name 
made  me  blush. 

"  Excuse  me,  Monsieur,"  I  murmured,  "  I  did  not 
dare  to  tell  you  the  truth :  I  am  Babolain,  the  author 
of  the  dictionary." 

"  You're  not  so  much  changed  that  one  wouldn't 
recognize  you,"  he  said  smiling;  "  good-bye,  Mon- 
sieur Babolain,  good-bye." 

Once  in  the  street,  I  was  surprised  to  find  myself 
inspired  with  a  strength  and  energy  I  had  not  pos- 
sessed before.  The  five  hundred  francs  in  my  pocket, 
and  the  publisher's  words  gave  me  fresh  courage. 
"No,  I'm  not  worn  out,"  I  said  to  myself.  "  If  people 
offer  me  work  after  twenty  years  of  forget.fulness,  my 
scientific  value  must  have  been  real.  Wasn't  I  pro- 
fessor of  mathematics  at  twenty  eight  ?  My  dear  old 
class  room  !  How  could  I  have  forgotten  mathemat- 
ics so  long  ?  "  I  now  felt  all  the  shame  of  this  deser- 
tion, but  there  was  still  time  to  make  amends,  to 
compel  my  son-in-law  to  consider  me  his  equal,  to  be 
really  the  head  of  the  family.  I  entered  a  ready- 
made  clothing  shop  without  the  slightest  embarrass- 
ment, and  in  a  very  short  time  selected  a  black  suit 
which  they  assured  me  was  the  best  article  they  had. 
I  even  allowed  myself  to  be  persuaded  to  take  a  vel- 
vet vest  with  small  blue  and  white  flowers,  a  vest  in 
which  it  seems  a  man  of  my  age  could  attend  either 
a  dinner  or  ball,  it  suited  me  exactly ;  but  I  must  add 
that  I  never  had  occasion  to  put  it  on,  in  conse- 
quence of  a  very  important  event  which  made  a  great 
change  in  my  life. 

Valentine's  health  was  not  good  ;  I  had  been  in 
the  habit  of  observing  closely  for  too  long  a  time 
not  to  perceive  a  thousand  alarming  symptoms.  She 
had  had  several  attacks  of  indisposition,  one  after 


BABOLAIN.  267 

another,  which  disturbed  me  all  the  more  because 
her  husband  treated  the  whole  afifair  with  inconceiv- 
able nonchalance.  He  would  not  even  hear  the  very 
moderate,  though  firm  representations,  I  thought  it 
my  duty  to  make  on  this  subject.  Meantime  I  was 
about  to  urge  the  matter,  as  my  title  of  father  author- 
ized me  to  do,  when  I  was  roused  one  night  by 
strange  sounds,  amid  which  I  clearly  distinguished 
stifled  moans.  I  was  out  of  bed  in  an  instant,  and 
rushing  into  the  passage,  ran  into  the  arms  of  the 
footman  who  was  hurrying  by. 

"  Bless  my  soul  and  body,"  he  cried. 

"  What's  the  matter,  my  friend,  what's  the  mat- 
ter?" 

"Monsieur  bumped  my  head,  I  beg  Monsieur's 
pardon." 

And  he  disappeared.  I  followed  him  and  crossed 
the  drawing-room,  where  a  candle  was  burning;  I 
was  suffering  torture,  but  it  never  entered  my  brain 
that  ray  Valentine  was  about  to  become  a  mother. 
Yet  this  was  the  fact :  my  son  in-law  told  me  so, 
while  shutting  the  door  in  my  face.  I  know  very  well 
that  my  presence  might  be  troublesome  at  such  a 
time,  but  it  would  have  been  sufficient  to  say :  "  Go 
away,  father,"  and  I  should  have  retired.  Yet  it  was 
impossible  for  me  to  stay  in  one  place.  I  went  down 
to  the  kitchen  to  find  some  one  who  could  tell  me 
about  my  daughter.  The  nurse,  who  had  been  hastily 
summoned  and  was  eating  some  soup  with  the  cook, 
burst  into  a  loud  laugh  as  she  caught  sight  of  me : 
indeed  I  was  in  the  lightest  possible  dress.  Propriety 
commanding  me  not  to  remain  longer  in  the  presence 
of  two  women  in  such  a  condition,  I  went  up  to  the 
entrj'  where  I  paced  up  and  down  until  dawn,  in  the 
greatest  agitation.  I  dare  not  say  that  I  shared  my 
daughter's  sufferings,  but  with  what  joy  I  would  have 
taken  the  larger  share  of  them,  had  it  been  possible ! 
To  say  to  myself:  "My  darling  Valentine  is  terribly 


268  BABOLAIN. 

ill,  perhaps  her  life  is  in  danger,  her  moans  pierce  my 
heart " — and  be  obliged  to  pace  silently  up  and  down 
the  corridor.     I  stopped  ever^'body  who  passed. 

"  How  is  she  ?  "  I  said  anxiously. 

"  Very  well,"  was  the  reply,  "  veiy  well,  very 
well." 

They  were  evidently  deceiving  me,  for  the  moans 
grew  louder  and  louder. 

"  It's  a  boy,"  cried  the  maid,  rushing  out  of  the 
room. 

A  few  minutes  after,  my  son-in-law  and  the  phy- 
sician came  out  of  the  chamber. 

I  rushed  to  meet  them.  "  It's  a  boy,"  I  ex- 
claimed, "  how  is  my  daughter  ?  " 

"  My  father-in-law,"  said  Joseph,  shrugging  his 
shoulders  as  he  turned  to  the  doctor,  and  then 
added  :  "but  Monsieur,  for  God's  sake,  go  and  dress 
yourself.  What  are  you  doing  here  in  this  condi- 
tion .''  Mother  and  child  are  doing  admirably  well. 
Go,  Monsieur,  go." 

It  was  not  until  two  or  three  hours  after  that  I 
was  allowed  to  enter  my  daughters  room,  yet  I  re- 
mained only  an  instant.  The  nurse,  who  seemed 
like  a  veritable  dragon,  had  positive  orders,  and 
would  not  let  me  say  a  word  ;  my  heart  was  full. 
Scarcely  had  I  kissed  Valentine's  hand — for  she  sum- 
moned up  strength  to  hold  out  her  hand  to  me — when 
I  was  pushed  towards  the  cradle  where  my  grandson 
was  sleeping,  and  put  outside  the  door  almost  imme- 
diately. I  dared  not  say  anything  lest  they  should 
be  still  more  strict  another  time,  but  when  I  returned 
to  my  room  I  began  to  weep.  They  were  foolish 
tears,  but  I  had  never  entirely  recovered  from  my  se- 
vere illness,  and  had  moments  of  extreme  moral  and 
physical  weakness.  I  dressed  myself,  took  the  hun- 
dred and  fifty  francs  I  had  left,  and  went  out;  my 
plan  was  formed,  I  wanted  to  give  my  daughter  some 
little  trinket  for  a  remembrance  of  her  son's  birth. 


BABOLAIN.  269 

After  hesitating  a  long  time  I  decided  upon  a  locket 
which  would  hold  hair ;  and  as  this  purchase  reduced 
ray  resources  to  almost  nothing,  I  went  to  my  pub- 
lisher to  remind  him  of  his  promise,  and  ask  for  some 
work.  He  gave  me  a  tolerably  large  number  of 
proof-sheets  which  I  was  to  revise  with  great  care, 
and  pointed  out  very  minutely  the  spirit  in  which  I 
was  to  make  the  corrections  and  annotations.  In 
short,  all  this  occupied  a  long  time,  and  I  returned 
to  the  house  at  a  very  late  hour.  On  seeing  me  pass 
through  the  courtyard,  the  footman  came  out  of  the 
kitchen  and  coming  up  to  me,  said  :  "  You  needn't 
go  up  the  main  staircase.  Monsieur,  I've  moved  all 
your  things  to  your  new  room." 

I  dared  not  ask  for  any  explanations,  and  without 
saying  a  word,  allowed  myself  to  be  conducted  to  a 
small  door  near  the  stable,  which  opened  upon  a 
narrow  staircase  that  led  to  the  attic.  Fran9ois  was 
doubtless  a  little  spiteful  in  making  me  go  up  this 
way,  for  at  the  end  of  the  wide  hall  where  I  had 
wandered  up  and  down  all  night,  was  a  door  that 
opened  upon  the  back  stairs ;  in  fact,  I  usually  went 
up  to  my  chamber  through  it. 

"  Monsieur  will  have  more  room  here,"  said  the 
servant,  ushering  me  into  an  apartment  with  a  tiled 
floor  and  sloping  roof,  it  is  true,  but  very  large ; 
"there's  another  one  adjoining  it, where  we  have  put 
Monsieur's  bed." 

"  It  is  very  comfortable,  thank  you  ;  dinner  will 
soon  be  ready,  won't  it  ?  " 

"  The  doctor  can't  come  home  until  very  late,  so 
he  has  given  orders  that  you  should  have  your  dinner 
in  your  own  room." 

"My  son-in-law  has  done  right." 

A  quarter  of  an  hour  after,  the  cook,  panting  vio- 
lently, set  upon  the  table  the  dish  that  contained  my 
dinner.  This  woman,  who  never  lost  an  opportunity 
of  being  disagreeable,  gave  me  to  understand  that  if 


270  B ABO  LAIN. 

my  dinner  was  to  be  served  in  my  room  every  day, 
she  should  soon  be  obliged  to  give  up  her  place. 
She  said  many  other  things  that  were  somewhat 
harsh,  but  I  excused  her  without  difficulty  and  even 
tried  to  soothe  her,  for  the  heat  of  the  stove  and  the 
continual  inhalation  of  carbonic  acid  makes  cooks 
irritable.  It  was  a  fact  that  my  change  of  lodgings 
would  give  the  servants  increased  work,  and  I  saw 
1  clearly  that  I  should  be  obliged  to  use  great  care  in 
future  to  keep  the  peace  with  them. 

That  evening  I  entered  my  children's  room 
through  the  door  that  opened  upon  the  corridor. 
My  daughter  was  asleep,  my  son-in-law  had  not  re- 
turned, and  I  heard  my  little  grandson  in  my  old 
room  crying  in  a  sweet,  clear  voice,  accompanied  by 
a  song  from  his  nurse. 

Thus  I  at  last  discovered  the  reason  of  my  re- 
moval, and  was  perfectly  satisfied.  They  had  not 
made  me  go  up  stairs  from  caprice,  but  as  a  matter 
of  necessity  to  make  room  for  the  little  man.  1  re- 
turned to  my  chamber.  Unfortunately  they  had  for- 
gotten to  put  candles  in  the  candlesticks,  and  a  ter- 
rible draught  came  through  the  window.  I  replaced 
the  missing  curtain  with  my  chestnut  colored  coat, 
which  was  not  risking  much,  and  groped  my  way  to 
bed.  I  should  have  been  very  comfortable,  but  for 
the  disagreeable  smell  of  a  pipe  which  penetrated 
into  my  room  about  eleven  o'clock.  One  of  my 
neighbors,  the  coachman,  footman,  or  cook  undoubt- 
edly smoked  to  excess. 

During  my  dauglUer's  convalescence,  I  must  say 
that  1  was  very  happy.  Scarcely  had  my  son-in-law 
gone  out  when  I  went  down  to  her  room,  and  it  did 
not  seem  to  annoy  her.  Finding  herself  still  too 
weak  to  receive  visits  or  employ  herself  in  any  way, 
she  was  not  displeased  to  have  her  old  papa  to  keep 
her  company,  read  the  pai)cr  to  her,  bring  her  her 
child,  or  pass  her  her  chaplet.     She  listened  without 


BAfSOLAIN.  271 

vexation,  and  often  with  smiles  to  the  little  allusions 
I  made  to  our  house  in  Favras,  and  was  more  unre- 
served about  her  own  affairs  than  she  had  ever  been 
before.  She  showed  me  a  prayer  book  she  had  re- 
ceived from  Monseigneur  de  Pansol,  and  a  little  gold 
cross  the  Marquise  de  Velizy  had  given  her.  Then 
as  secretary  and  treasurer  of  that  charitable  society, 
whose  object  I  never  clearly  understood,  but  whose 
head-quarters  were  at  Rome,  she  had  obtained  sev- 
eral precious  relics  from  a  cardinal,  thanks  to  the  in- 
tercession of  that  great  Roman  lady,  the  Comtesse 
de  Monte  Re  villa,  who  at  the  time  of  the  marriage 
had  shown  herself  a  most  devoted  friend  of  my 
wife's — it  needed  these  little  enjoyments  of  self-love 
to  make  my  dear  daughter  undertake  the  labor  to 
which  she  submitted.  Twice  a  month  she  forwarded 
to  Rome  a  most  minute  report  of  the  progress  of  the 
charitable  society  and  its  various  members.  She 
performed  this  task  from  verbal  directions  given  her 
every  day  by  her  husband,  of  whose  genius  she  was 
never  weary  of  talking.  I  listened  to  her  gladly,  ap- 
proved, admired  everything — these  confidential  con- 
versations gave  me  so  much  pleasure.  Then  George 
grew  restless — my  little  grandson's  name  was  George 
— got  angry,  and  screamed  furiously.  I  took  him  in 
my  arms,  and  he  stopped  at  once,  often  even  smiled 
through  his  tears.  The  nurse,  with  whom  I  was  on 
excellent  terms — I  always  got  along  with  nurses — de- 
clared she  had  never  seen  anything  like  it,  and  it  was 
a  new  thing  to  me  also  :  some  one  who  instinctively 
held  out  his  arms  and  was  happy  in  my  caresses.  So 
whenever  the  little  fellow  was  fractious,  Valentine 
said:  "  Go  for  his  grandpapa." 

Often  amid  these  joys  we  heard  the  roll  of  a 
carriage. 

"  It  is  my  husband,"  murmured  Valentine,  and  I  es- 
caped to  my  room  as  fast  as  possible.  I  now  saw  that 
my  heart  had  not  deceived  me  :  my  daughter  loved  me 


2/2  BABOLAIN. 

sincerely.  Apparently  undemonstrative,  as  is  often 
the  case  in  the  most  affectionate  natures,  engrossed 
in  her  own  occupations,  and  controlled  by  her  hus- 
band's influence,  she  had  seemed  cold  and  indiffer- 
ent to  me,  but  a  week's  seclusion  was  sufficient  to  re- 
store her  to  her  former  self.  She  was  a  mother  now; 
she  understood  how  ardent  and  profound  is  the  affec- 
tion we  feel  for  our  children,  and  my  grandson,  by 
his  mere  presence,  was  to  change  my  whole  life  and 
procure  me  all  this  happiness.  I  became  passionately 
fond  of  the  child. 

I  again  find  these  notes  cast  aside  so  long  ago. 
The  last  page  bears  a  date  four  or  five  years  old. 
Often  during  my  life  I  have  been  tempted  to  think 
fate  severe ;  but  now  that,  being  less  proud,  I  can 
look  around  me  without  bitterness  or  anger,  I  say  to 
myself:  "  What  have  I  done,  oh,  God  !  to  deserve  the 
blessings  with  which  Thou  art  soothing  my  last  mo- 
ments, to  deserve  that  my  liltle  grandson  should  wel- 
come me  with  a  smile  on  his  first  entrance  upon  life, 
and  give  me  his  heart .-'  What  have  I  done  that  his 
little  hands  should  smooth  my  white  hair,  his  angelic 
lips  press  my  wrinkled  cheeks  ;  that  the  sweet  angel 
should  nestle  in  my  arms  and  love  me  as  if  I  were 
worthy  of  affection  ?  " 

Scarcely  had  my  daughter  recovered  from  her 
confinement  when  she  returned  to  her  former  life  with 
more  eagerness  than  ever.  Visitors  came  in  throngs, 
and  she  soon  had  not  a  moment  to  herself  She 
hastily  kissed  her  child  in  the  morning  while  opening 
her  letters,  or  getting  into  her  carriage  to  attend  to 
her  business,  and  so  violently  that  the  little  creature 
was  frightened.  Slie  overwhelmed  the  nurse  with  ad- 
vice and  orders,  and,  always  in  a  hurry,  went  away 
with  regret.  Yet  she  loved  her  son  with  all  her  heart, 
I  am  sure,  but  the  rc<|uirements  of  her  position  led 
her  on ;  she  had  no  time,  and  perhaps  she  also  knew 


BABOLAIN.  273 

I  was  there  to  watch  over  George.  My  son-in-law, 
who  was  becoming  more  and  more  famous  and  busy, 
was  rarely  visible,  and  under  any  circumstances  was 
not  the  man  to  spend  his  time  upon  a  child.  So  the 
little  fellow,  seeing  me  always  near  him,  grew  accus- 
tomed to  my  caresses,  to  my  face,  and  took  pleasure 
in  my  attentions,  which  soon  became  indispensable 
to  him.  It  was  while  holding  out  his  arms  to  me 
that  he  said  papa  for  the  first  time.  And  I  accepted 
the  boon — I  defrauded  my  son-in-law,  but  why  was  he 
never  there  ?  It  is  no  great  crime  to  pick  up  a  piece 
of  good-fortune  from  which  our  neighbor  turns  away. 

I  soon  devoted  all  my  thoughts  and  time  to  my 
little  grandson,  and  one  might  say  that  my  life  blend- 
ed with  his. 

I  cannot  think  without  smiling  of  the  continual 
anxieties  his  nurse  caused  me  during  the  first  months 
of  his  life.  Of  course  it  was  of  primary  importance 
that  this  woman  should  give  George  the  best  quality 
of  milk,  and  consequently  that  she  herself  should  be 
in  perfect  health.  What  was  my  uneasiness  then 
when,  by  her  pallor,  her  increasing  melancholy,  I  had 
proof  that  some  secret  sorrow  was  undermining  her 
constitution  ?  I  never  left  her,  lavished  attentions 
upon  her,  and  having  gained  her  confidence  learned 
that  she  was  weak  enough  to  love  far  too  well  a  hus- 
band who  remained  in  the  country  and  gave  her  every 
reason  for  being  jealous.  The  wretch  was  continu- 
ally writing  letters  in  which  he  demanded  money, 
threatening  to  come  to  Paris  at  once  if  he  did  not  re- 
ceive a  reply  in  accordance  with  his  wishes.  When 
our  means  of  satisfying  him  were  exhausted  we  were 
obliged  to  parley,  find  excuses,  invent  a  thousand 
falsehoods,  which  made  me  blush  to  the  roots  of  my 
hair.  Oh !  if  my  littie  George's  milk  had  not  been 
directly  threatened. 

"  Monsieur,"  said  the  poor  woman,  "  my  husband  is 
a  dreadful  man,  but  I  love  him  for  all  that,"  and  for 


2/4  babolain: 

the  hundredth  time  she  told  me  the  story  of  his  court- 
ship. They  had  seen  each  other  for  the  first  time  at 
a  rural  fete,  mounted  on  wooden  horses — 

Thank  God,  my  little  grandson  passed  through 
this  first  period  of  infancy  without  any  serious  acci- 
dent. The  nurse  returned  to  her  faithless  husband, 
and  our  old  Marianne  from  Favras,  whom  my  daugh- 
ter had  always  kept  as  a  seamstress,  was  installed  in 
her  place. 

She  taught  the  little  fellow  the  way  to  the  attic, 
grandpapa's  roost,  where  we  spend  a  part  of  our 
lives.  He  already  opens  the  door  leading  to  the 
back  stairs  himself,  and  I  can  hear  the  sound  of  his 
hurrying  Uttle  feet,  and  the  toctoc  he  makes  with  his 
dimpled  hand.  Hjs  visits  are  my  great  happiness,  but 
I  now  avoid  going  into  his  room  or  to  my  children's 
apartments.  I  have  the  fears  of  the  privileged  char- 
acter, who  only  asks  to  be  allowed  to  i^ass  unnoticed. 
Therefore  I  was  not  at  all  troubled  when  the  serv- 
ants, from  habit,  continued  to  bring  my  meals  to  my 
room.  Valentine,  who  doubtless  supposed  I  had  re- 
quested it,  and  moreover  often  had  a  great  many 
guests  at  her  table,  made  no  remark.  It  was  tacitly 
settled  that  I  should  not  come  down  without  a  spe- 
cial invitation.  This  was  a  relief  to  everybody — I 
preferred  to  love  my  daughter  at  a  distance,  and  see 
her  in  my  memory. 

One  would  have  said  that  in  the  presence  of  his 
father  and  mother  George  shared  my  constraint. 
Children  are  so  keen  in  their  estimation  of  the  ca- 
resses we  give  them.  I  never  saw  him  show  his 
feelings  with  perfect  freedom,  except  up  above  in 
our  room,  in  my  little  garret.  But  how  he  makes 
up  for  lost  time  !  How  his  eyes  sparkle  when  he 
comes  in  !  How  he  jumps  into  my  arms,  rummages 
in  every  corner,  inspects,  examines,  overwhelms  me 
with  whys  and  wherefores  with  the  freedom  of  a  child 
who  knows  itself  to  be  beloved  ?     But  he  is  particu- 


BABOLAIN.  275 

larly  attentive  and  earnest  when  I  open  my  bureau 
drawer.  Here  are  all  my  little  relics,  wrapped  in  white 
paper,  and  carefully  ticketed  with  signs  I  alone  can 
understand.  The  contents  of  these  packages  have 
no  value  except  to  myself :  Valentine's  mother's  hair, 
Valentine's  picture  when  a  child,  shells  she  picked 
up  in  the  sand  on  the  garden  walks  and  I  afterwards 
found  in  my  pockets ;  ribbons,  hair-pins,  and  a  thou- 
sand things  my  wife  had  left  at  the  time  of — her  de- 
parture for  Italy,  and  which  I  had  never  had  the 
courage  to  throw  away. 

How  the  joys  and  sorrows  of  a  whole  existence 
are  reduced  to  the  most  trifling  things.  All  these 
witnesses  of  my  life  could  be  held  in  a  valise.  Yet  to 
everybody  else  this  dusty  rubbish. is  only  fit  to  be 
swept  away  with  a  broom.  Why  is  it  so  dear  to  me  ? 
From  fear  of  curious  eyes  I  have  taken  refuge  with 
my  museum  in  the  second  of  my  two  garrets,  the 
back  one.  Nobody  enters  here  except  myself  and 
George — when  we  are  in  it  together,  or  when  I  am 
alone,  I  put  the  key  on  the  inside.  It  is  not  only  to 
dream  at  my  ease  that  I  shut  myself  up — I  do  so  that 
I  may  safely  attend  to  a  multitude  of  household  du- 
ties, and  I  don't  wish  to  be  surprised  by  the  servants 
with  a  broom  or  a  needle  in  my  hand  lest  my  daugh- 
ter might  be  wounded.  Now,  if  I  did  not  mend  my 
clothes  carefully,  I  should  soon  be  in  tatters  and 
could  no  longer  go  to  walk  with  George.  It  is  very 
certain  that  they  would  not  trust  him  to  me  if  I  look- 
ed like  a  beggar;  it  is  perfectly  natural.  In  my 
•daughter's  position  one  is  not  very  glad  to  have  a  fa- 
ther who  wears  rags.  It  is  of  the  utmost  importance 
to  me  always  to  have  a  suitable  dress.  I  manage  to  do 
so,  but  not  without  difficulty :  I  have  always  been 
very  awkward,  my  sight  has  grown  much  worse  within 
the  last  three  or  four  years,  and  then  one  must 
try  one's  self  to  know  how  difficult  it  is  to  put,  for  in- 
stance, a   neat    patch    on    the    sleeve    of   a    coat. 


2/6  B ABO  LAIN. 

And  then  to  repair  linings,  and  darn  shirt  bosoms  ? 
All  this  seems  hke  nothing.  The  more  worn  the 
clothes  are,  the  harder  it  is  to  mend  them.  How 
many  times  I  would  have  thrown  down  my  work  if  I 
had  not  thought  of  our  walk  the  next  morning !  Ne- 
cessity makes  one  ingenious  and  patient.  When 
people  are  not  sick  they  find  resources  in  Paris 
which  they  would  never  have  imagined.  I  have 
found  in  the  Temple,  which  people  avoid,  I  don't 
know  why,  as  an  evil  place,  really  magnificent  oppor- 
tunities :  perfectly  new  clothes,  cut  with  great  skill, 
and  costing  very  little  money.  Two  years  ago  I  was 
on  the  point  of  buying  of  the  shop-keeper  a  coat, 
warmly  lined,  with  a  large  velvet  collar  and  cuff's-,  and 
for  which  he  only  asked  thirty-six  francs.  It  had  not 
been  worn  ten  times !  Unfortunately  at  this  period 
I  was  already  destitute  of  means.  I  have  regretted 
that  garment  greatly. 

If  I  had  been  able  to  earn  a  little  money,  as  my 
publisher  had  given  me  the  means  of  doing,  my  life 
would  have  been  greatly  simplified  ;  but  after  trying 
for  three  or  four  months,  I  was  obliged  to  confess 
that  all  labor  had  become  impossible  to  me.  I  could 
no  longer  fix  my  attention ;  and  if  I  forced  myself  to 
do  so  was  seized  in  a  few  minutes  with  a  sort  of  ver- 
tigo ;  the  signs  and  printed  letters  whirled  before  my 
eyes — something  was  broken  within  me.  It  was  a 
very  sorrowful  time,  for  as  I  grew  more  miserable 
the  memory  of  my  former  successes  foolishly  return- 
ed to  my  mind ;  1  eagerly  rummaged  through  my  pa- 
pers, among  my  books,  sought  out  my  diplomas — my 
poor  diplomas.  I  ended  by  nailing  them  to  the  wall. 
Vvhere  will  pride  find  a  hiding-place  .''  I  thought  my- 
self despicable,  for  I  had  never  wholly  lost  my  pow- 
ers of  criticism  and  analysis.  I  said  to  myself  :  "  You 
were  of  some  little  value  once — well,  what  does  that 
prove?  your  little  worm-eaten  stool  is  broken,  stay  in 


BABOLAIN.  277 

your  place."  My  attention  was  diverted  by  a  crowd 
of  difficulties. 

About  this  time  the  sale  of  my  dictionary  ceased 
entirely ;  it  had  had  its  day,  it  was  only  just.  To 
complete  my  embarrassment  the  little  pension  paid 
me  by  the  ministry  was  stopped.  True,  I  lived  with 
my  children, whose  intention  undoubtedly  was  that  I 
should  want  for  nothing ;  but  my  daughter  was  far 
too  busy,  poor  child,  to  see  that  her  orders  were 
obeyed,  and  the  servants  forgot  or  neglected  many 
things  of  the  most  absolute  necessity.  Perhaps  they 
even  kept  a  part  of  what  was  intended  for  me  them- 
selves. I  should  not  allow  myself  to  cast  such  a  sus- 
picion upon  them,  if  I  had  not  serious  reason  to  do 
so.  They  doubtless  were  not  aware  of  the  trouble  they 
caused  me,  and  nothing  in  the  world  would  have  in- 
duced me  to  complain  of  it,  for  my  daughter,  who  I 
am  sure,  really  loved  me  with  all  her  heart,  would  not 
have  failed  to  make  an  example  of  them,  perhaps 
might  have  gone  beyond  all  bounds. 

It  was  far  better  to  bear  these  little  annoyances. 
Besides,  by  searching  carefully,  I  found  several  arti- 
cles I  could  do  without,  and  which  enabled  me  for 
some  time  to  buy  a  few  candles,  some  wine,  and 
above  all  coffee — I  always  had  the  weakness  of  liking 
it  after  dinner — and  lastly  chocolate.  I  wanted  my 
George  to  find  his  lozenges  in  the  green  box  as  long 
as  possible.  These  were  my  last  days  of  plenty.  Al- 
though I  made  great  efforts  to  husband  my  resources, 
I  was  soon  reduced  to  the  little  the  servants  brought 
me,  that  is,  to  almost  nothing.  Twice  in  succession, 
in  the  hope  of  obtaining  something,  I  went  down  to 
my  daughter's  room  at  the  hour  I  thought  I  should 
disturb  her  least ;  but  there  were  always  so  many 
people  awaiting  an  audience  that  I  dared  not  tell  her 
of  my  troubles,  and  I  was  right :  I  soon  became  ac- 
customed to  my  new  situation.  After  all,  how  many 
poorer  people  than  I  would  have  thought  it  enviable  ! 


278  BABOLAIN. 

We  attach  the  more  value  to  the  joys  of  Ufe 
the  less  numerous  they  are  :  those  who  have  only 
one  taste  every  fragment,  and  find  savors  that  others 
would  not  have  imaghied.  George  has  given  me  this 
one  sole  joy,  he  has  kept  me  alive  for  years. 

I  am  like  an  old  trunk  of  a  deformed  tree,  half 
worm-eaten  and  with  but  one  root.  Dear  little  fellow  ! 
You  shall  be  happy,  God  grant  you  may  be  happy, 
my  child  I 

Will  he  be  so  ?  the  idea  that  he  may  perhaps  have 
the  germ  of  my  faults  in  his  nature  sometimes  haunts 
me.  While  he  is  playing  near  me  I  watch  him,  would 
fain  read  his  heart.  Moral  and  physical  resemblan- 
ces often  overleap  a  generation.  How  am  I  to  ex- 
plain the  strange  sympathy  he  shows  me,  his  affec- 
tion, the  pleasure  he  feels  in  being  near  me  except 
by  a  similarity  of  character,  a  harmony  of  tastes — it 
is  really  alarming  I 

At  certain  times  I  would  fain  have  him  less  indul- 
gent to  me,  judge  me  more  harshly,  that  at  some  fu- 
ture day  he  might  say  to  himself,  "  Everything  my  poor 
grandfather  did  is  exactly  what  I  must  avoid."  It  is 
something  in  life  to  have  black  specks  on  the  stones 
upon  which  we  ought  not  to  step.  While  waiting  for 
him  to  know  me,  I  must  not  sulTer  him  to  love  me 
blindly,  it  is  taking  advantage  of  his  simplicity,  pre- 
venting him  from  forming  an  impartial  judgment 
concerning  me.  Hut  where  could  1  find  courage  to 
say  :  "  My  child,  I  am  not  the  man  you  suppose  ;  the 
condition  in  whicli  you  see  me  is  not  unjust,  as  you 
might  imagine,  but  the  logical  consequences  of  a  life 
full  of  culpable  errors." 

A  man  does  not  end  his  days  as  I  am  doing,  by 
accident;  it  is  not  by  chance  that  all  who  have  known 
him  abandon  him,  and  he  at  last  dies  in  ]:)overty  and 
loneliness.  In  all  this  there  is  a  well-merited  pun- 
ishment, the  trace  of  an  immutable  justice.  I  will 
not  add  to  my  calamities  the  cowardice  of  suspecting 


BABOLAIN.  279 

and  accusing  others.  The  real  author  of  the  fault  is 
not  alvva3'S  the  one  who  commits  it:  is  not  the 
wretched  man  who  makes  it  possible,  still  more 
guilty  ?  Thou  art  not  deceived,  oh  !  my  God,  and  it 
is  for  this  that  Thou  dost  punish  me. 

The  other  day,  about  three  o'clock  in  the  after- 
noon, he  came  to  me  eating  his  bread  and  preserve. 
I  had  fasted  since  the  evening  before,  for  the  servants 
had  not  yet  brought  my  breakfast,  and  was  very  hun- 
gry, so  I  smilingly  asked  for  a  piece  of  it.  He 
joyfully  offered  me  the  whole.  While  I  was  eating 
this  mouthful  of  bread,  perhaps  with  too  much  appe- 
tite, he  looked  steadily  at  me  with  an  expression  of 
astonishment,  then  left  his  luncheon  on  the  corner 
of  the  table  as  if  no  longer  hungry,  and  began  to 
play  with  a  great  affectation  of  eagerness,  to  give  me 
time  to  eat  the  whole  slice.  Ever  and  anon  I  met 
his  large  searching  eyes  fixed  upon  me. 

When  about  to  go  away,  he  threw  his  little  arms 
around  my  neck  and  kissed  me  three  times  very  af- 
fectionately. 

Undoubtedly  he  is  too  well  aware  of  my  troubles, 
but  how  is  it  to  be  helped  1  He  divines  my  thoughts, 
poor  child.  He  loves  me,  that  is  perfectly  evident. 
Ever  since  that  day  when  he  comes  to  lunch  in  my 
room  his  slice  of  bread  is  larger,  and  his  kind  heart 
inspires  him  with  a  thousand  pretexts  to  make  me 
accept  half  It  is  useless  for  me  to  refuse,  to  assure 
him  that  I  have  just  had  my  breakfast — he  will  listen 
to  nothing,  urges,  entreats,  pulls  out  of  his  pocket 
parcels  of  carefully  packed  provisions,  arranges  the 
whole  upon  a  corner  of  the  table,  draws  up  a  chair, 
pushes  a  little  stool  forward,  and  we  dine  together, 
while  radiant  with  delight  and  proud  of  his  triumph, 
he  does  the  honors,  pretending  with  shouts  of  laugh- 
ter that  the  chocolate  lozenges  are  roast  chickens, 
and  the  bits  of  bread  asparagus  and  green  peas.  I 
am  so  happy  in  yielding  to  him,  I  alone,  yes,  I  alone 


280  B ABO  LAIN. 

know  how  much  kindness  and  goodness  he  has  in 
his  heart. 

Is  it  old  age  that  draws  me  so  near  him  ?  I  do 
not  know,  but  his  influence  over  me  is  irresistible. 
When  he  has  been  in  my  room  ten  minutes,  I  feel 
that  my  individuality  is  merged  in  his,  his  ideas  be- 
come mine,  I  see  with  his  eyes,  share  his  emotions, 
am  deluded  by  his  fancies,  and  this  without  effort,  in 
spite  of  myself.  With  what  joy  we  prance  side  by 
side  through  the  fairy  kingdom  where  the  very  young 
and  very  old  meet  and  understand  each  other. 

When  he  nestles  up  to  me,  puts  his  little  legs  un- 
der my  dressing-gown,  looks  at  me  with  his  beaming 
eyes,  and  says  :  "  Come,  grandpapa,  shall  we  talk 
about  Cinderella  .'' "  it  seems  as  if  a  ray  of  sunlight 
enters  the  room. 

"  There  never  was  any  Cinderella,  was  there, 
grandpa  .'' " 

"  No,  ray  dear,  but  that  makes  no  difference,  it's 
a  pretty  story." 

"  It's  a  pity  it  never  happened.  Peau  d'Ane 
never  happened  either.  'J'hen  there  are  no  fairies. 
But  that's  not  certain,  I  should  like  it  better  if  there 
were  some.  Say,  grandpa,  do  you  dream  of  fairies  at 
night?  " 

"  Not  often,  dear." 

"  Oh  !  I  do,  I  dream  of  the  fairies.  After  all, 
grandpa,  the  ones  we  see  when  we're  asleep  are  the 
real  ones." 

Is  not  the  little  poet  right  ?  I  dare  not  contra- 
dict him,  his  credulity  seemed  superior  to  my  expe- 
rience. How  powerful  this  reality  of  dream  life  is  ! 
How  true  are  these  falsehoods  of  the  imagination  ! 

Who  will  dare  to  say  positively,  "  There  is  the 
boundary  which  separates  the  true  from  the  false 
reality,  the  object  from  its  image,  .soul  from  matter, 
feeling  from  sensation,  what  we  touch  from  what  we 
think  we  touch  .'"'     What  are  hope,  desire,  the  gift  of 


BABOLAIM.  281 

believing  and  imagining  which  take  man  by  the  hand, 
push  him  forward  or  check  him,  make  him  sit  down 
by  the  side  of  the  path,  help  him  to  surmount  obsta- 
cles, or  overwhelm  him  ? 

Are  not  the  great,  true,  good  moments  of  life  those 
when  a  man  only  feels  the  ground  with  the  tips  of  his 
toes,  trembles  at  the  touch  of  the  magic  ring,  believes 
in  the  good  fairy,  and  suffers  himself  to  be  wrapped 
in  the  godmother's  cloak  ?  Is  not  the  joy  of  life  the 
power  of  coming  out  from  it.  Perhaps  happiness 
may  be  not  to  return  to  it  again.  He  from  whom  the 
fairies  flee  is  a  very  unhappy  man.  Exact  analysis  is  a 
dull  lantern.  To  count  the  stones  in  a  prison  and 
measure  its  bars  is  not  being  free.  Yes,  darling,  let 
us  talk  about  Cinderella  and  Peau  d'Ane.  You  have 
the  true  spirit  of  wisdom. 

The  want  of  wood  is  what  causes  me  the  most 
suffering.  The  colder  it  grows  the  more  the  servants 
steal  my  share  to  increase  theirs.  They  do  it  from 
habit,  not  out  of  any  ill-will,  but  I  suffer  greatly. 

When  I  had  a  little  money  I  got  out  of  the  diffi- 
culty by  buying  peat  and  putting  it  under  my  arm 
wrapped  in  a  paper,  and  people  suspected  nothing. — 
One  can  keep  warm  a  long  time  with  peat  and  ashes. 
But  now  I  no  longer  have  this  resource.  I  keep  my 
bundles  of  wood  for  my  little  George's  visits.  We 
warm  ourselves  together,  as  soon  as  I  am  alone  I 
carefully  put  out  the  fire,  and  all  is  over. 

It  must  be  confessed  that  these  annoyances  are 
more  endurable  to  me  than  they  would  be  to  others. 
I  have  breathed  on  my  fingers  to  warm  them  so  many 
winters.  It  rejuvenates  me,  I  am  returning  to  the 
habits  I  used  to  have  when  a  young  man — with  hope 
the  less  and  memory  the  more. 

The  time  seems  particularly  long  at  night.  Al- 
though I  stuff  the  windows  and  doors  as  well  as  lean 
and  pile  all  the  clothing  I  have  upon  the  bed,  the 
cold  penetrates  with  frightful  obstinacy.     It  is  use- 


282  BAB  O LAIN. 

less  to  say  to  myself  :  "  Think  of  George,  think  of 
Favras.  What  improvements  could  I  make  in  the 
house  and  garden  ?  It  is  impossible  for  me  to  fix 
my  attention  ;  my  teeth  chatter,  I  begin  to  cough,  and 
so  it  goes  until  the  next  morning. 

When  my  children  receive  company,  which  they 
do  more  and  more  frequently,  I  amuse  myself  by  lis- 
tening to  the  roll  of  the  carriages  upon  the  pave- 
ment of  the  courtyard,  or  the  conversation  of  the 
coachmen,  who  stamp  and  swear.  I  imagine  my 
daughter  among  her  guests.  Dear  little  thing !  How 
pretty  she  looked  when  she  opened  the  stop-cock  of 
the  rain-gauge,  and  I  tried  in  vain  to  be  angry.  If  I 
only  had  a  candle  I  could  read  ! 

The  weather  is  growing  milder.  The  earth  and 
sun  are  becoming  reconciled,  spring  is  approaching. 
Howl  shall  enjoy  it!  In  a  few  days  the  trees  at 
Favras  will  be  covered  with  a  faint  green  hue,  the 
ground  will  become  softer,  and  the  violets  will  enamel 
the  grass  and  moss.  To-morrow  afternoon  little 
George  and  I  will  resume  our  walks.  My  overcoat  is 
the  only  thing  that  troubles  me.  I  have  ripped  the 
collar  to  turn  it  inside  out ;  but  shall  I  succeed  in  my 
task  ?     Nobody  must  be  ashamed  of  me  to-morrow. 

The  weather  was  magnificent,  a  throng  of  pedes- 
trians were  moving  towards  the  Champs  Elys^es,  and 
we  walked  on  like  two  intimate  friends  who  were 
happy  in  being  together.  He  stopped  me  every  in- 
stant to  ask  questions  about  the  different  things  he 
saw,  and  I  was  in  a  very  joyous  mood.  Two  colle- 
gians passed,  George  looked  at  them  an  instant,  and 
then  turning  to  me,  said  : 

"Say,  grandpa,  when  you  were  a  professor,  did 
you  teach  little  boys  no  larger  than  1  ?" 

"  No,  dear.  They  were  not  children  ;  some  of 
them  had  beards.  Do  you  see  the  collegians  walking 
yonder  ?  Well,  all  my  scholars  were  older  than  those 
young  men." 


BABOLAIN.  283 

"  And  did  you  have  a  gown  ?  " 

"Why,  of  course,  all  the  professors  in  the  univer- 
sity wear  gowns." 

"  And  did  you  order  your  scholars  about,  grand- 
pa?" 

"  Hum — why  yes,  mildly.  You  know  we  ought 
always  to  speak  gently,  especially  to  those  who  must 
obey.  We  may  be  mistaken,  you  know,  we  are  not 
infallible." 

"  You  speak  gently  to  everybody,  and  yet  the 
servants  don't  obey  you." 

"  They  are  your  father's  and  mother's  servants, 
my  dear." 

"  Well,  then,  you're  not  obliged  to  speak  gently  to 
them,  and  you  would  have  very  good  reason  to  be 
cross,  for  they're  not  at  all  polite  when  they  talk  about 
you.     Louis  always  calls  you  the  old  man." 

"  There's  no  great  harm  in  that,  my  little  fellow, 
everybody  sees  that  I  am  no  longer  young.  Louis 
probably  meant  to  say :  the  old  gentleman,  and  forgot 
to  finish  it ;  no  doubt  he  was  in  a  hurry." 

"  Well,  I  thought  it  was  very  wrong  for  Louis  to 
call  you  the  old  man,  but  if  it  isn't,  he'll  be  in  a  great 
rage,  for  I  said — if  mamma  knew  what  I  said  to  him." 

"  What  did  you  say  ?  " 

"  I  called  him  a  great  brute.  Why,  gracious, 
grandpa,  I  thought  he  was  attacking  you,  so  I  stood 
up  for  you.  If  any  one  attacked  me  you  would  de- 
fend me,  of  course,  because  you  say  we  are  friends. 
When  people  are  friends,  they  stand  up  for  each 
other."  He  shook  his  little  cane  in  the  air.  "  Ah ! 
if  anybody  attacked  you,  you'd  see,  grandpa." 

Not  knowing  how  to  answer  this  prattle,  which 
cheered  my  inmost  heart,  I  pressed  the  dear  child's 
hand,  who  returned  the  clasp  while  bounding  along 
by  my  side. 

"  Do  you  think  I  am  as  strong  as  the  collegians 
who  just  passed  by  ? "  he  continued. 


284  BABOLAhV. 

"  Not  quite,  but  you  soon  will  be,  though  strength  is 
slower  to  come  than  to  go.  Why  are  you  so  anxious 
to  be  strong  ?  " 

"  To  defend  you,  of  course.  Then  I'm  not  any 
stronger  than  you  now." 

"  Not  much  weaker,  dear,  and  perhaps  that  is  the 
reason  we  are  so  fond  of  each  other.  When  you  are 
a  man,  you  won't  take  any  pleasure  in  walking  with 
your  grandfather." 

George  stopped,  looked  at  me  in  astonishment, 
not  exactly  knowing  whether  I  was  in  earnest  or  not; 
then  raising  his  head  drew  me  down  to  him  and  gave 
me  a  hearty  kiss,  whispering  : 

"  I  shall  always  love  you ;  when  you're  an  old,  old 
man,  I'll  love  you  still  more,  and  when  I  get  rich  I'll 
buy  you — I'll  buy  you  a  beautiful  gold  frame." 

"  What  for,  my  dear  ?  " 

"  For  your  diplomas  that  are  fastened  on  the  wall, 
grandpa." 

On  reaching  the  Champs  Elysees  we  sat  down 
upon  a  bench.  He  was  looking  out  of  the  corners 
of  his  eyes  at  the  goat  carriages  which  were  passing 
up  and  down  a  neighboring  walk,  and  I  was  counting 
the  few  sous  in  my  vest  pockets  when  I  saw  a  car- 
riage slowly  approaching,  drawn  by  two  large  lean 
horses.  Many  pedestrians  paused  to  see  it  pass.  It 
was  of  antique  form,  hung  very  high  above  the  wheels, 
and  had  an  indescribably  stately  and  sombre  air 
which  could  not  remain  unobserved.  On  the  huge 
box,  adorned  with  intricate  armorial  bearings,  sat  a 
coacinnan  and  foolman  lost  amid  the  folds  of  a  fawn- 
colured  livery,  excessively  belaced.  As  the  carriage 
approached  I  distinguished  the  coat  of  arms  sur- 
rounded with  various  devices  and  arabestpies  that 
ornamented  the  doors.  Two  ladies,  dressed  in  black, 
were  talking  together  in  this  magnilicent  equipage. 
Suddenly  George  started,  and  pulling  me  by  the  sleeve, 
exclaimed  : 


B ABO  LAIN.  285 

"  Mamma,  there's  mamma  in  that  carriage." 

It  was  indeed  my  daughter ;  but  when  I  had  more 
particularly  noticed  the  lady  who  accompanied  her,  I 
could  not  repress  a  cry  and  nearly  fell  senseless.  I 
had  recognized  my  wife,  Esther  Paline,  my  beloved 
wife.  Yes,  beloved,  for  I  suddenly  felt  with  strange 
intensity  that  I  had  never  ceased  to  love  her.  She 
was  more  beautiful  than  ever.  Her  appearance  now 
was  that  of  a  great  lady  with  grave  and  dignified 
manners.  An  expression  of  gentleness  and  sovereign 
majesty  breathed  from  her  whole  person. 

The  past  appeared  before  me  as  if  by  one  of 
those  flashes  of  lightning  which  amid  the  darkness 
of  night  sunder  the  clouds  and  illumine  the  horizon. 
My  emotion  was  too  strong  for  my  feeble  body,  and 
most  unfortunately  I  fainted,  as  I  have  always  done 
when  it  was  my  duty  to  be  energetic. 

When  I  recovered  my  senses  two  or  three  people 
were  standing  around  me.  George  had  doubtless 
called  to  them  in  his  terror,  while  he,  poor  child, 
with  tearful  eyes  and  trembling  hands  was  unfasten- 
ing my  cravat  and  kissing  my  forehead.  I  instantly  re- 
membered what  had  just  occurred,  and  sought  for 
the  carriage  with  my  eyes,  but  it  had  disappeared. 

Seeing  that  I  was  better,  some  one  wanted  to  call 
a  cab,  but  I  fortunately  recollected  that  we  had  not 
money  enough ;  I  thanked  him,  declared  the  walk 
would  do  me  good,  and  rising,  tottered  away.  Twenty 
times  I  was  obliged  to  stop  and  lean  against  a  tree. 
George  held  my  hand  and  often  said :  "  Won't  you 
lean  on  my  shoulder,  dear  grandpa,  I  think  I  am 
strong  enough."  He  did  not  ask  a  single  question 
about  what  had  occurred;  no  doubt  his  quickness 
and  tact  taught  him  that  he  ought  to  remain  in  ignor- 
ance of  the  cause.  When  we  reached  the  fountain 
in  the  Place  Louis  XV.,  I  bathed  my  forehead  and 
it  did  me  good;  but  how  long  the  walk  seemed. 
George  said  in  a  low  tone :  "  We're   almost  there. 


286  BABOLAIN. 

grandpa,  we'll  soon  get  home."  I  was  thinking :  "  How 
does  it  happen  that  they  are  together  ?  They  know 
each  other — why  have  I  heard  nothing  about  it  ?  I 
must  indeed  be  a  wretch  to  have  them  both  forget 
me  so  utterly.  I  had  never  had  so  much  affection 
for  them,  never  felt  more  beneath  them,  more  un- 
worthy of  their  tenderness." 

My  strength  gave  way  as  we  crossed  the  court- 
yard, and  my  limbs  bent  under  me.  I  was  bewildered, 
and  tottered.  But  for  George,  I  really  believe  it 
would  have  been  impossible  for  me  to  find  the  little 
back  staircase.  In  passing  the  pantry  I  saw  the  ser- 
vants laughing  maliciously  as  they  looked  at  me,  but 
was  too  greatly  agitated  to  pay  much  attention  to  it. 
I  reached  my  room,  and  sank  upon  my  bed.  I  was 
only  half  conscious  of  what  was  passing  around  me, 
and  yet  saw  my  grandson,  with  infinite  trouble,  raise 
my  pillow,  spread  the  clothes  over  my  feet,  unbutton 
my  vest,  and  getting  into  a  chair  put  on  my  night  cap. 
My  heart  swelled  with  gratitude  ;  I  felt  his  hand  gently 
rub  my  forehead,  I  heard  his  breathing,  quickened 
by  emotion,  the  beating  of  his  heart,  the  fond  words 
his  little  lips  murmured  in  my  ear.  What  have  I 
done  to  deserve  the  love  of  this  blessed  child?  Who 
has  put  him  in  my  path  ?  Why  does  he  love  me  so  ? 
Whence  comes  it  that  logically,  misfortune  gives  birth 
to  compassion,  that  the  mere  fact  of  being  pitiable 
wins  a  friend's  caress?  Whence  comes  it  that  suffer- 
ing teaches  you  to  love  ;  that  the  flower  which  blooms 
amid  ruins  is  most  fragrant  and  most  brilliant  in  color  ? 
Who  has  arranged  this  needful  counterpoise,  but  for 
which  a  man  would  be  crushed  by  the  first  shock  ? 
What  is  this  equilibrium  of  moral  laws,  this  logical  re- 
action of  the  heart,  if  Providence  does  not  watch 
over  and  sustain  us  ? 

Some  one  soon  came  for  George,  and  the  poor 
child  went  away  with  tears  in  his  eyes.  Was  it  from 
grief  because  he  was  obliged  to  leave  me  alone  at  a 


BABOLAIN.  287 

time  when  I  might  need  help,  or  a  presentiment  that 
the  pleasant  days  of  our  companionship  were  over 
forever  ? 

I  found  myself  alone,  and  began  to  tremble  in 
ever)'  limb.  The  idea  that  my  wife  was  in  Paris 
aroused  a  tempest  of  feelings  which  I  had  crushed 
down  into  the  depths  of  my  heart  for  years.  The 
wrongs  I  had  suffered  in  the  past  arose  before  me, 
perhaps  magnified  more  than  was  reasonable,  but 
overwhelming  and  terrible.  I  no  longer  remembered 
anything  except  my  ambitious  follies,  my  countless 
failings,  my  intolerable  absurdities,  my  powerlessness, 
my  obstinacy  in  seeking  to  be  beloved  by  a  superior 
person  who  was  not  suited  to  me,  and  then  the  sor- 
rows and  misfortunes  which  had  resulted  from  it. 

The  meeting  I  had  just  had  was  a  very  natural 
punishment,  and  I  did  not  think  of  being  surprised. 
I  had  driven  from  me  the  family  joys  of  which  I  was 
unworthy.  What  scorn,  what  disgust  my  daughter 
must  feel  towards  me,  now  that  being  informed  of 
the  past  by  her  mother,  she  knew  all  that  I  had  so 
carefully  concealed  !  The  abyss  that  separated  me 
from  them  had  become  impassable,  and  yet  the  great- 
ness of  the  obstacle  only  awakened  my  eagerness  and 
increased  the  tenderness  I  felt  for  them.  At  that 
moment  I  think  I  would  have  borne  every  torture  if 
it  had  been  possible  to  clasp  them  in  my  arms,  ob^ 
tain  forgiveness  for  the  wrong  I  had  done  them,  to 
be  for  one  instant  a  husband  and  father. 

I  was  pursuing  this  train  of  thought  when  some 
one  knocked  at  my  door,  and  the  servant  told  me 
my  son-in-law  wished  to  speak  to  me  at  once.  This 
was  so  unusual  an  event  that  I  was  very  much  dis- 
turbed. My  daughter's  husband  inspired  me  with  a 
feeling  of  terror.  Besides  might  not  what  he  had  to 
say  to  me  have  some  connection  with  the  walk  we 
had  taken  that  day. 

He  was  sitting  before  his  table  when  I  entered 


288  B ABO  LAIN. 

his  large  gloomy  study,  lumbered  with  books  and 
strange-looking  bottles. 

"  Be  so  good  as  to  sit  down,"  he  said  gravely 
without  raising  his  eyes  from  a  letter  he  was  just  fin- 
ishing. When  he  had  noisily  signed  his  name,  read 
it  over,  and  folded  the  sheet,  he  looked  at  me  steadily 
a  moment,  and  then  clasping  his  hands,  said  : 

"  You  seem  to  be  somewhat  restored  and  conse- 
quently in  a  condition  to  listen  to  me,  Monsieur  Bab- 
olain ;  have  the  kindness  to  give  me  your  attention. 
When  I  married  your  daughter  it  was  arranged,  was 
it  not,  that  you  should  share  our  home  and  profit  by 
the  advantages  of  this  cohabitation,  that  is,  heat, 
light,  etc.  ? " 

"  Of  course,"  I  replied,  "  you  intended — " 

"Allow  me  to  go  on.  Have  I  performed  my 
agreement  ?  Have  you  shelter,  fire  and  light  ?  " 

"  Undoubtedly."  Fear  makes  us  humble  and 
cowardly.     "  Undoubtedly,  my  dear  Joseph,"  said  I. 

"  I  ask  no  more.  It  is  admitted  that  I  have  acted 
honestly,  and  you  have  no  cause  to  reproach  me. 
Moreover,  my  wife  and  I  have  wished  to  prove  our 
good  will  by  trusting  our  son  to  your  care  almost 
every  day.  Is  all  this  true  ?  If  you  have  any  com- 
plaints to  make  against  us,  I  beg  of  you  to  speak. 
You  don't  answer.  Monsieur  Babolain,  I  will  go  on : 
Far  from  being  intolerant,  I  excuse  certain  peculiari- 
ties and  eccentricities  which  entail  annoying  conse- 
quences; it  is  grief  not  anger  that  I  feel  at  the  sight 
of  other's  faults,  and  my  instincts  urge  me  to  excuse 
those  whom  others  would  condemn.  But  there  are 
certain  failings  which  surpass  all  bounds  and  render 
indulgence  impossible.  The  vice  with  which  you  are 
afflicted  is  one  of  those  that  deserve  only  the  indig- 
nation of  an  honest  man." 

Having  dealt  me  this  blow,  he  took  an  envelope, 
slipped  his  letter  into  it,  and  quietly  wrote  the  ad- 
dress. 


BABOLAIN.  289 

I  was  wrong  not  to  vehemently  repel  his  accusa- 
tion, I  feel  I  was  wrong  there,  but  I  was  so  terribly 
agitated.  Besides,  was  I  perfectly  sure  that  I  did 
not  have  the  vice  of  which  I  was  accused  ?  I  answer- 
ed timidly : 

"  What  do  you  mean,  Joseph  ?  I  don't  exactly  un- 
derstand— " 

"  I  did  not  suppose  I  should  be  obliged  to  give 
you  any  information  upon  this  subject,  Monsieur." 

"  I  am  very  poor,  it  is  true,  but  of  course  that  is 
not  the  vice  to  which  you — " 

"  Certainly,  you  know  it  as  well  as  I.  I  have  no 
wish  to  discuss  the  ingenious  manner  in  which  you 
have  squandered  your  fortune." 

"  Why  you  know  that  when  my  daughter  married 
I  gave  her  almost  everything." 

"  I  think  my  behavior  at  that  time  was  sufficiently 
disinterested  for  me  not  to  be  accused  of  being  a 
mercenary  man.  I  wished  to  remain  in  ignorance  of 
my  future  wife's  property,  and  accepted  her  dowry 
with  my  eyes  shut.  All  I  know  is  that  you  were  once 
rich  and  are  so  no  longer ;  what  is  the  secret  cause 
of  your  ruin,  granting  that  it  is  as  complete  as  you 
say  ?  How  does  it  happen  that  in  spite  of  your  ap- 
parently modest  mode  of  life,  you  are  reduced  to 
nothing  ? " 

"  Good  Heavens,  but  I — " 

"  Let  us  stop  there,  if  you  please,  it  is  repugnant 
to  my  feelings  to  enter  into  all  these  particulars,  and 
besides,  this  is  not  the  matter  in  question.  I  merely 
wished  to  tell  you  that  I  must  beg  you  not  to  accom- 
pany George  in  his  walks  in  future." 

"  Not  go  out  with  George  any  more,"  I  cried. 
"  What  have  I  done  to  deserve  such  a  sorrow  ?  My 
poor  little  George  ;  my  only  joy  is  to  be  with  him. 
Joseph,  my  friend,  you  won't  do  this,  will  you  ? 
I  take  the  very  best  care  of  him,  I  keep  out  of  the 
way  of  the  carriages,  and  if  the  wind  blows  I  make 
19 


290  BABOLAIN. 

him  put  on  his  coat.  Prevent  my  going  out  with 
him  !    It  would  be  too  cruel." 

"  Cruel !  I  have  reason  to  reproach  myself  with 
only  too  much  indulgence  towards  you,  Monsieur. 
Cruel !  But  you  have  probably  not  yet  recovered 
from  your  little  indisposition  sufficiently  to  under- 
stand the  full  meaning  of  your  expressions." 

"  What  indisposition  do  you  mean  ?  Oh  !  yes,  I 
was  really  somewhat  ailing." 

"  You  were  drunk,  Monsieur,  let  us  speak  plain- 
ly. All  the  people  in  the  house  saw  you,  and  I  don't 
wish  to  have  such  a  scandal  repeated." 

"  It's  false  !  Joseph,  false  !  I  swear  it." 

"Go  and  lie  down,  go,"  said  he,  shrugging  his 
shoulders.  "  Some  one  is  waiting  for  me,  good-even- 
ing." _ 

Night  had  fallen.  I  groped  my  way  up  to  my 
room,  I  was  like  a  man  who  has  just  been  robbed  of 
all  he  possesses.  "  What  is  the  use  of  living  any 
longer,"  I  said  to  myself,  "  what  is  the  use  ?  " 

I  lighted  a  fragment  of  candle,  which  I  still  had. 
It  seemed  as  if  in  the  darkness  I  should  give  way  to 
despair  too  easily.  The  room  was  full  of  the  signs 
George  had  left  of  his  presence; there  on  the  little 
black  table  were  the  figures  of  peasants  he  had 
drawn  with  a  bit  of  chalk.  A  piece  of  string  he  had 
used  the  evening  before  to  play  horse  still  hung 
from  the  back  of  a  chair.  But  all  these  memories 
must  be  driven  away.  My  poor  child  !  my  poor  child  ! 
I  sat  down  in  a  corner  and  remained  there,  shivering 
with  cold. 

It  is  very  certain  that  I  was  not  intoxicated,  since 
I  have  drunk  nothing  l>ut  water  for  so  long.  But 
what  would  my  innocence  avail  if  nobody  believed  it  1 
The  scandal  was  real,  and  my  son-in-law  had  reason 
to  be  angry.  To  condemn  me  thus  he  must  have 
held  me  in  the  most  utter  contempt.  If  I  could 
prove  that  1  am  a  victim,  my  sorrow  would  be  allevi- 


BABOLAIN.  291 

ated  ;  but  who  will  dare  to  say :  "  I  have  endured 
more  suffering  than  I  have  caused." 

We  see  only  the  scales,  but  never  distinguish  the 
needle  that  marks  the  weight.  If,  in  my  pride,  I  had 
not  scorned  the  laws  of  my  existence,  I  should  un- 
doubtedly have  escaped  all  that  has  happened  to  me. 

I  have  considered  George's  affection  as  a  treas- 
ure which  belonged  to  me,  and  now  that  I  am  de- 
prived of  it,  am  indignant,  as  if  robbed.  What  right 
had  I  to  enter  his  little  heart  ?  Is  it  not  the  wisdom 
of  Providence  that  drives  me  from  it  ?  He  might 
have  become  accustomed  to  my  deplorable  instincts, 
gradually  accepted,  and  soon  shared  them.  "  Con- 
sole yourself,  my  poor  child."  It  seemed  as  if  I  was 
holding  him  in  my  arms,  as  if  he  had  taken  refuge  in 
my  lap  as  had  so  often  happened,  and  was  gazing  at 
me  imploringly.  "  Console  yourself,  my  love ;  you're 
not  going  to  cry  because  you  are  taken  away  from 
your  old  grandpa."  I  parted  his  hair,  kissed  his  fore- 
head, and  tried  to  smile.  "  He  wasn't  a  proper  com- 
panion for  you,  you  see  ;  he  wouldn't  have  been  able 
to  follow  you  long  with  his  old  legs.  We  must  always 
part  with  somebody  or  something  in  life,  and  it  isn't 
so  hard  as  you  think,  my  darling.  You'll  soon  smile 
when  you  recollect  your  old  grandpa's  room,  our 
talks,  our  walks ;  you  will  always  love  me,  but  you'll 
say  to  yourself:  '  What  a  funny  man  ! '  The  memory 
of  my  absurdities  will  soften  your  regrets.  It  must 
be  so.  Everything  the  good  God  has  done  is 
well  done,  you  see.  Whether  His  justice  renders  our 
burden  heavier  or  lighter,  it  is  always  a  consolation 
and  a  support  to  know  that  this  justice  is  infalHble 
and  immutable.  I  am  not  worth  more  than  one  tear, 
I  know  very  well,  but  it  will  fall  from  your  eyes,  my 
darling,  and  I  shall  leave  this  world  invoking  a  bless- 
ing upon  you." 

Such  were  my  thoughts  as  the  noises  in  the  house 
died  away  one  after  another,  and  the  stillness  around 


292  BABOLATN. 

me  grew  deeper.  I  saw  my  little  George,  saw  him 
become  a  man  ;  I  had  been  dead  a  long  time,  yet  I 
was  always  near  him.  I  read  his  mind,  his  heart, 
and  was  amazed  at  the  noble,  grand,  and  generous 
feelings  I  saw.  He  let  me  talk  to  him,  and  we 
laughed  together  over  all  the  petty  troubles  with 
which  my  life  had  been  so  comically  enamelled.  He 
invited  me  to  share  his  joys,  confided  his  plans  to 
me,  I  remodelled  my  life  in  his,  and  felt  greatly 
strengthened. 

Suddenly  the  bit  of  candle  I  had  lighted  went  out, 
and  I  found  myself  in  the  dark.  I  undressed  and 
went  to  bed. 

It  was  not  until  the  next  morning  that  I  realized 
how  much  my  situation  was  changed.  My  grandson 
won't  come  to  see  me  to-day,  I  thought,  nor  to-mor- 
row, perhaps  never,  and  I  remained  cowering  under 
the  clothes,  gazing  through  my  tears  at  the  vine 
on  the  paper.  From  that  day  it  seems  to  me  as  if 
time  stood  still.  My  life  has  stopped.  I  know  very 
well  that  all  is  over  for  me,  and  yet  I  am  waiting.  So 
it  is  true  that  a  man  cannot  live  a  moment  unless  he 
is  drawn  on  by  the  moment  that  is  approaching.  It 
is  no  longer  hope,  but  a  sort  of  anxiety,  a  need  of  es- 
caping the  present  moment.  I  wait  for  the  scratch- 
ing he  made  at  the  door  when  he  came  to  see  me.  I 
know  very  well  I  shall  not  have  his  visit,  and  yet  I 
can't  help  expecting  it ;  if  the  wind  makes  a  branch 
snap  near  my  window;  if  a  door  creaks  in  tiie  dis- 
tance, my  very  breathing  stops.  I  say  to  myself: 
"  Who  knows,  perhaps  it  is  he.  If  it  were  not  he, 
why  should  I  be  agitated  ?  "  I  wait  as  if  for  an  event 
of  great  importance  until  the  ray  of  sunlight  which 
enters  at  a  certain  hour  and  pas.ses  around  my  room, 
falls  upon  the  drawing  I  once  made  of  our  garden  and 
house.  The  sun  only  shines  upon  a  part  of  it,  but 
this  little  space  is  like  a  window  opening  upon  the 
country  itself.     I  smell  the  fragrance  of  the  grasses 


BABOLATI^.  293 

and  flowers  which  are  growing  there,  I  see  the  trees 
wave,  hear  the  humming  of  the  insects,  and  my  feel- 
ings return  to  my  heart  with  so  much  reaUty  that  the 
tears  often  flow  from  my  eyes.  So  while  listening  to 
certain  airs,  heard  by  chance,  a  whole  page  of  one's 
life  suddenly  appears,  and  for  a  few  moments  we  see 
the  existence  of  former  days,  forget  what  has  taken 
place  since,  walk  joyously  along  the  well  known  path, 
and  put  our  feet  in  the  fresh  prints  of  our  old  steps. 

As  our  lives  grow  narrow,  and  the  present  grows 
sterner,  the  power  of  escaping  from  it  by  the  imagin- 
ation becomes  more  powerful,  the  poetry  which  was 
a  luxury  to  the  man  of  forty  becomes  necessary  to 
the  old  man  whose  strength  is  faiHng.  The  suf- 
ferings of  the  close  of  life  need  the  balm,  the  music 
of  memory.  How  can  one  fail  to  see  the  goodness 
of  a  protecting  power  in  this  doubling  of  life!  How 
can  one  help  seeing  Thy  provident  affection  in  this 
moral  equilibrium,  oh  !  my  God  !  It  is  to  the  unfor- 
tunate who  have  no  pillows  on  which  to  repose,  that 
Thou  openest  Thy  arms. 

I  wait  to  hear  the  striking  of  the  clock  in  the  pan- 
try beneath  me  ;  its  sound  is  pleasant,  affectionate,  so 
to  speak;  one  would  say  it  pays  me  a  visit,  surrounds 
me,  covers  me  with  caresses.  I  listen  to  its  dying 
tones,  and  when  it  has  ceased  am  still  in  an  imagin- 
ary world,  where  life  is  without  suffering,  trouble,  or 
chaos. 

And  yet  I  have  terrible  hours  when  the  past  ap- 
pears to  me  under  its  evil  face ;  when  I  can  no  long- 
er drive  away  the  phantoms  that  torture  me  ;  when  I 
fall  into  despair,  and  would  fain  have  my  physical 
sufferings  still  more  severe  and  cruel  that  they  might 
keep  me  from  thinking.  Sometimes  in  these  dark 
days  I  have  rebellious  feelings,  I  even,  madman  as  I 
am,  curse  my  wife  and  daughter.  As  if  it  had  been 
possible  for  them  to  conquer  the  repugnance  with 
which  I  inspire  every  one  !    Who  can  tell  the  number 


294  BABOLAIN. 

of  griefs  I  have  caused  the  two  poor  women  whom 
fate  cast  into  my  arms.  The  idea  sets  my  brain  on 
fire.  AVhat  I  have  done  and  what  I  might  have  done 
mingle,  blend  together,  and  in  this  confusion  I  fancy 
1  behold  crimes. 

"  Wife  and  child,  forgive  the  wrong  I  have  done 
you.  My  strength  is  failing,  my  vital  powers  are  be- 
coming exhausted — has  not  the  hour  for  pardon  ar- 
rived ?  Dear  ones,  I  hold  out  my  arms  to  you.  For 
God's  sake  do  not  pass  me  by  without  a  look,  do  not 
repulse  me.  In  my  condition  I  can  no  longer  harm 
any  one.  When  I  think  that  at  this  very  moment  you 
may  perhaps  both  be  in  this  house !  No,  I  have 
never  loved  you  so  much.  I  do  not  ask  to  be  ad- 
mitted to  a  share  in  your  life ;  I  should  be  out  of 
place,  I  do  not  wish  to  shame  you.  Let  everything 
remain  as  it  is,  but  sometimes  when  you  are  getting 
into  your  carriage,  look  up  at  my  window — I  will  hide 
behind  the  curtain,  no  one  will  see  you.  My  heart 
is  so  cold — a  glance  from  you  would  do  me  so  much 
good." 

About  two  o'clock,  the  hour  that  he  goes  out,  I 
managed  to  drag  myself  to  the  window  and  saw  him 
set  out  for  his  walk.  He  held  his  hoop  in  his  hand, 
and  the  nurse  went  with  him.  I  don't  think  he  could 
have  seen  me,  but  he  turned  his  head  as  he  passed 
through  the  gateway.  He  wore  his  little  grey  coat 
and  striped  stockings,  but  was  not  skipping  about  as 
he  always  did  when  we  went  out  together. 

How  happy  I  have  been  in  possessing  his  affec- 
tion !  I  have  watched  him  as  he  grew  up  by  my  side, 
he  was  so  confidential  to  me.  Childish  fancies,  lov- 
able conceits,  charming  absurdities,  comical  inquisi- 
tiveness,  profound  reflections — he  has  concealed  noth- 
ing from  me.  Will  he  ever  open  his  heart  and  mind 
so  fully  to  any  one  else  ? 

In  the  days  when  I  had  a  little  money  I  sometimes 
took  him  to  the   pastrycook's;  I  had  balanced   my 


BABOLAIN. 


295 


accounts  so  that  I  could  manage  it.  But  the  dear 
child,  knowing  very  well  that  I  was  not  rich,  would 
not  go  in  in  spite  of  his  longing  to  do  so.  He  never 
was  hungry,  turned  his  head  away,  pulled  me  by  the 
sleeve,  avoided  the  temptation,  and  if  by  dint  of  in- 
sisting I  succeeded  in  making  him  go  in,  whispered : 

"  Grandpa,  a  little  two  sous'  one,  that's  quite 
enough  you  know." 

'  He  walked  around  the  shop,  made  his  choice,  and 
asked  the  price  while  his  little  lips  trembled.  He 
would  never  take  more  than  one,  and  then  pulled  me 
into  a  corner  to  offer  me  half  of  it. 

One  day  when  we  were  coming  out  of  the  pastry 
cook's  he  seemed  very  much  preoccupied  ;  I  pressed 
his  little  hand  and  asked  what  he  was  thinking  about. 

"  I'm  thinking  about  the  cakes,  they  are  nice,  but 
they  cost  too  much,  and  you're  not  rich  enough,  my 
dear  grandpa." 

When  we  returned  to  the  house  he  let  me  go  up 
to  my  room  alone  and  joined  me  a  few  moments 
after.  He  was  flushed  and  eager,  and  held  in  his 
hands  a  small  package  which  he  opened  immediate- 
ly. It  was  a  white  pasteboard  box  filled  with  papers 
wrapped  one  about  another.  He  began  to  unroll 
all  these  with  his  impatient  little  fingers,  throwing  box 
and  papers  on  the  floor  as  he  went  on  with  his  work. 

"  What  is  it,  my  little  fellow  ?  "  said  I. 

He  was  too  busy  to  answer,  but  when  he  had  fin- 
ished showed  me  on  his  open  palm  a  coin  worth  fifty 
centimes,  and  four  sous. 

"  See,  there  are  some  sous  for  you,"  said  he  look- 
ing at  me  with  his  great  eyes. 

At  first  I  did  not  know  what  to  answer,  not  that  I 
was  ashamed  of  the  alms,  there  was  so  much  affec- 
tion and  delicacy  in  the  somewhat  blunt  simplicity 
with  which  he  offered  me  his  whole  fortune.  I  took 
his  head  between  my  hands,  and  kissing  his  fair  curls 
said: 


296  BABOLAIN. 

"  Thank  you,  my  dear  George — keep  your  money, 
you  shall  buy  something  with  it — you'll  want  to  ride 
in  the  goat  carriage,  you  know." 

"  You  won't  have  my  sous,"  said  he  with  an  emo- 
tion which  showed  he  was  on  the  point  of  bursting 
into  tears. 

*'  Keep  them  for  yourself,  my  little  man,  keep 
them,  dear." 

He  put  the  money  back  into  his  pocket  without 
saying  a  word,  walked  to  the  window  and  gazed  out 
into  the  courtyard,  but  the  pane  reflected  like  a  mir- 
ror his  sorrowful  face,  dilated  nostrils,  and  the  quiv- 
ering lips  he  compressed  with  his  teeth  to  keep  from 
crying. 

"You  are  not  worthy  of  this  affection,"  I  said  to 
myself; "  by  your  folly  and  pride  you  are  making  the 
only  creature  in  the  world  who  loves  you  cry."  I 
added  aloud :  "  George — do  you  still  want  to  give 
me  your  money  ?  "  He  turned,  his  eyes  beaming 
with  delight.  "  Do  you  ?  Well  then,  give  it  to  me, 
my.  darling.     I  shall  be  very  glad  to  have  it." 

He  made  only  one  bound,  threw  his  arms  around 
my  neck,  and  overwhelming  me  with  caresses,  slid 
the  four  sous  and  the  little  coin  into  my  pocket. 

"  You'll  take  good  care  not  to  lose  them,  grand- 
pa," he  murmured. 

I  have  wrapped  them  up  in  the  same  papers,  put 
them  back  in  the  little  white  box,  and  they  are  treas- 
ured with  Esther's  hair  and  my  other  keepsakes. 

Ah !  at  that  time  I  fully  believed  that  I  should 
never  be  separated  from  George  and  my  last  look 
would  meet  his. 

\Vhen  my  strength  is  somewhat  restored  and  I 
suffer  less,  1  shall  go  to  the  Tuileries  at  the  time  he 
takes  his  walk,  remain  under  the  trees  in  the  shade 
as  I  used  to  do  when  I  was  at  the  normal  school,  and 
watch  him  while  he  plays.  If  I  don't  speak  to  him, 
and  he  doesn't  see  me  it  will  doubtless  satisfy  them. 


BABOLAIN. 


297 


His  father  can't  find  fault  with  me  for  watching  him 
at  a  distance — 

But  shall  I  ever  dare  to  go  out  of  my  room,  pass 
before  the  servants  again  and  cross  the  courtyard? 
I  may  meet  my  daughter,  and  who  knows,  perhaps 
my  wife.  Besides,  will  my  strength  ever  return  ?  It 
seems  to  me  that  I  am  growing  weaker  and  weaker, 
and  my  sufferings  increase  instead  of  diminishing. 

What  do  they  want  of  me  ?  How  will  all  this 
end  ?  Why  can't  they  let  me  die  in  peace  in  my  cor- 
ner ?  Thou  knowest,  oh  !  God,  that  I  have  no  long- 
er strength  to  make  amends  for  anything. 

Two  hours  ago  I  had  just  risen,  not  without  diffi- 
culty, for  I  suffer  a  great  deal,  and  was  resting  wrap- 
ped in  my  blankets,  when  some  one  knocked  at  the 
door,  and  a  tall  old  man  with  a  noble,  dignified  bear- 
ing entered  the  room.  His  grey  hair  fell  in  silken 
curls  upon  the  velvet  collar  of  his  coat,  which  was 
black,  cut  in  a  peculiar  style  and  buttoned  to  the 
chin  but  revealed  a  ^hite  cravat  against  which  ap- 
peared the  black  and  yellow  ribbon  of  a  foreign  or- 
der. I  instantly  perceived  by  his  simple  and  aristo- 
cratic manners  that  1  was  in  the  presence  of  some 
very  distinguished  nobleman.  He  advanced  towards 
me,  raised  his  eyes  to  heaven,  clasped  his  hands,  and 
gazed  at  me  long  and  earnestly. 

A  shudder  ran  through  my  frame  from  head  to  foot. 
It  seemed  as  if  a  ghost  had  appeared  before  me. 
Some  bond  united  me  to  him  ;  his  face  roused  a  throng 
of  confused  memories  which  I  could  not  define. 

"  In  what  a  state  of  degradation  do  I  see  you,  oh, 
my  friend,  my  brother !  "  he  said,  in  a  compassionate 
voice. 

"  Monsieur,"  I  replied  with  deep  emotion,  "  I 
don't  exactly  recognize  you,  and  yet  I  have  seen  you, 
I — excuse  me  for  receiving  you  in  this  untidy  room, 
and  be  kind  enough  to  sit  down." 


298  B ABO  LAIN. 

He  pushed  aside  with  his  gold-headed  cane  the 
clothes  that  loaded  the  only  available  chair,  seated 
himself  with  great  caution,  and  continued: 

"  Twenty-five  or  thirty  years  do  indeed  change 
men,  alter  their  situations  strangely,  and  I  am  not 
surprised  that  you  have  some  difficulty  in  recognizing 
your  old  friend  in  Chevalier  Timoleon  Morbegno." 

"  Timoleon  !  "  I  cried.     "  Oh  God  !  is  it  you  ? " 

And  in  my  first  impulse,  almost  involuntarily,  I 
was  about  to  clasp  his  hand,  but  there  was  so  much 
pride  and  pity  in  his  smile  that  I  stopped  short.  I 
suddenly  remembered  the  strange  part  he  had  played, 
his  hasty  departure  for  Italy,  but  this  ugly  vision 
made  no  definite  impression  upon  my  poor  brain,  my 
heart  had  no  longer  sufficient  strength  to  hate  any 
one.  I  felt  an  emotion  of  dislike,  and  trembled.  This 
tall  man  frightened  me. 

"  What  do  you  want  ?  Why  do  you  come  here  ?  " 
I  murmured,  sinking  back  in  my  arm  chair. 

"  To  save  you  from  yourself,  my  friend,  and  ac- 
complish the  mission  Providence  and  your  family 
have  entrusted  to  me.  Let  calmness  and  gratitude  at 
last  enter  your  poor,  blinded  soul,  have  confidence  in 
the  goodness  of  God.  Mme.  la  Comtesse  de  Monte 
Re  villa,  who  was  once  your  wife,  is  willing  to  forget 
the  past." 

"  What !  The  Comtesse  de  Monte  Revilla  is  my — 
Explain  yourself,  how  can  that  be  .-•  " 

"  Don't  pretend  to  be  ignorant  of  what  it  is  im- 
possible not  to  know.  You  can't  be  the  only  person 
who  is  unaware  of  the  titles  and  honors  Mme.  la 
Comtesse  enjoys  in  Italy,  titles  and  honors  of  which 
her  virtues  and  talents  make  her  eminently  worthy. 
Your  son-in-law,  M.  dc  Favras,  the  famous  physician, 
your  admirable  daughter,  Mme.  la  Marquise  de  V6- 
lizy,  Monseigneur  dc  Pansol,  and  all  the  distinguished 
personages  who  frequent  this  house  surely  have  not 
concealed  from  you  the  respectful  esteem  in  which 


B ABO  LAIN.  299 

they  hold  Mme.  de  Monte  Revilla.  I,  who  for 
more  than  twenty  years  have  been  an  intimate  visitor 
at  her  palace,  the  confidant  of  her  thoughts,  her  re- 
spectful and  devoted  friend,  have  been  able  to  appre- 
ciate the  qualities  of  her  high  intelligence  and  great 
heart.  Reassure  yourself,  Babolain,  the  words  I  come 
to  bring  are  those  of  peace  and  pardon." 

While  he  was  speaking,  I  felt  fascinated  by  the 
image  of  this  aristocratic  Italian  lady ;  I  had  clasped 
her  in  my  armsjthis  ideal  being,  this  wondrous  wo- 
man, whose  genius  was  no  longer  doubtful,  had  once 
been  mine.  Ah  !  let  him  not  relate  all  the  particulars 
of  this  glorious  career. 

The  mad  pride,  the  wild  love  of  former  days  re- 
kindled in  my  poor  brain,  and  yet  in  the  presence  of 
this  aristocratic  gentleman  who  found  me  degraded, 
powerless,  and  shivering  under  these  rags,  I  dared 
not  ask  a  question,  and  remained  silent  with  my  eyes 
fixed  upon  the  ground  lest  I  might  meet  his  glance. 

He  continued,  adjusting  his  cuffs. 

"  I  feel  great  pity  for  you,  Babolain.  Whatever 
you  may  have  done,  I  could  not  forget  the  ties  that 
united  us  in  the  past,  and  the  situation  in  which  I  find 
you  moves  me  deeply." 

I  thought  he  was  censuring  my  daughter's  conduct 
towards  me,  and  replied  : 

"  My  children  are  very  kind  to  me.  I  don't  com- 
plain.    1  want  for  nothing." 

"  I  know  your  noble  daughter's  heart  too  well  to 
doubt  it.  Mme.  de  Favras,  whose  life  is  a  constant 
succession  of  noble  deeds  and  beautiful  thoughts, 
wept — wept  I  say." 

"  Are  you  speaking  of  my  daughter  ?  " 

"  When  Mme.  de  Favras  spoke  of  the  sad  path 
upon  which  you  have  entered — Alas  !  my  friend, 
could  I  suspect  that  your  skepticism  when  a  young 
man  would  bear  such  bitter  fruits  ?  '  All  family  af- 
fection seems  to  be  extinguished  in  my  poor  father's 


300  BABOLAIN. 

heart,'  she  said  despairingly; '  he  shuns,  avoids  us, 
and  you  know  the  deplorable  consequences  solitude 
and  forgetfulness  of  others  may  bring  upon  a  weak 
nature.' " 

These  words  gave  me  a  terrible  pang :  was  it  really 
possible  my  daughter  could  think  so  ? 

"Your  son-in-law,"  continued  Timoleon,  "who 
unites  to  a  rare  intelligence  the  qualities  of  a  noble 
heart,  spoke  of  you  with  remarkable  indulgence,  al- 
though a  certain  tinge  of  irritation,  which  was  cer- 
tainly very  excusable,  appeared  in  his  words.  '  Ought 
not  Monsieur  Babolain,'  he  said  to  me  in  confidence, 
'  to  have  some  respect  for  himself,  if  only  from  con- 
sideration for  us  ?  Can  he  forget  that  there  is  a  cer- 
tain joint  responsibility  in  a  family,  from  which  we 
cannot  escape  ?  Can  he  forget  that  before  the  world 
and  our  servants  we  bear  the  responsibility  of  his  ec- 
centricities, and  endure  the  consequences  of  his 
acts ! '  " 

"This  is  what  your  son-in-law  told  me,  my  friend. 
It  is  a  melancholy  and  guilty  thing  in  the  sight  of 
God  when  the  head  of  a  family  despises  his  own  dig- 
nity, has  no  respect  for  his  white  hairs,  forgets  his 
authority,  and  thus  brings  reproach  upon  that  sacred 
family  hierarchy,  the  image  of  the  social  hierarchy, 
whose  reward  is  the  happiness  of  nations." 

"  True,"  I  murmured  ;  "  but  I  have  had  my  sor- 
rows too,  I — " 

"  The  pious  Comtesse  de  Monte  Revilla  would 
have  a  right  to  forget  you  entirely,  but  she  will  not. 
Yes,  she  who  was  your  wife  wishes  to  recall  you  to 
the  right  path,  take  you  from  this  garret,  draw  you 
out  of  yourself,  screen  you  from  scorn  and  contempt; 
and  in  the  first  place  you  must  understand  that  it  is 
no  longer  possible  for  you  to  remain  in  this  house." 

"  Leave  the  house  !  "  I  cried.  "  Leave  my  (leorge  ! 
go  away  from  him  !  " 

"  It  is  on  condition  of  changing  your  place  of  res- 


BABOLAIN.  301 

idence  that  Mme.  de  Monte  Revilla  would  consent 
to  give  you  a  pension  sufficient  to  enable  you  to 
maintain  a  style  of  living  suitable  for  yourself  and 
your  family."  And  as  my  face  undoubtedly  expressed 
the  sorrow  these  words  excited,  he  added,  "  I  didn't 
suppose  that  such  a  proposal  could  arouse  any  other 
emotion  in  your  mind  than  that  of  gratitude." 

"  But  I  ask  nothing.  Good  Heavens  !  I've  never 
asked  for  anything." 

"  That's  the  very  thing  that  troubles  them.  I 
should  rather,"  said  Mme.  la  Comtesse  yesterday,  "  I 
should  rather  he  had  secretly  incurred  heavy  debts  to 
maintain  his  position." 

"  My  position  !  What  position  have  I  to  main- 
tain ? " 

'*  You  ought  to  avoid  giving  your  wife  and  chil- 
dren, who  have  one,  reason  to  blush.  I  regret  that  I 
am  compelled  to  remind  you  of  it.  But  I  will  return 
to  the  subject  of  my  mission.  They  don't  wish  to 
impose  upon  you  a  mode  of  life  to  which  you  c6uld 
not  become  accustomed,  but  to  give  you  a  suitable, 
agreeable  place  of  retirement,  with  plenty  of  fresh 
air — your  feeble  health  requires  special  care.  A 
house  which  would  suit  your  tastes  might  be  found 
for  you  in  the  suburbs  of  Paris— one  man-servant 
will  be  enough  for  you  :  they  will  be  careful  to  select 
a  good  one.  Consider,  Babolain,  you  can't  always 
be  dependent  upon  your  children." 

"  I  have  given  all  I  had,"  I  murmured,  and  could 
not  repress  a  sob,  for  I  said  to  myself,  "It  is  all  over, 
I  shall  never  see  my  little  George  again.  How  am  I 
to  resist  if  they  want  me  to  go  ?  " 

"  You  are  ill,"  said  Timol6on.  "  These  sufferings 
ought  to  be  a  warning :  see  how  much  you  need 
country  air,  not  only  morally  but  physically." 

"  And  when  do  they  send  me  away  ?  " 

"  They  are  not  driving  you  away  \  don't  pervert 
facts.    The  Comtesse  is  above  all  spiteful  miscon- 


302  B ABO  LAIN. 

structions,  and  even  your  malevolence  would  be  un- 
able to  prevent  people  from  thinking  her  wish  to  se- 
cure your  happiness  and  independence  a  most  praise- 
worthy one." 

"Yes,  yes,  but  it's  very  hard  for  me — perhaps 
there  might  be  some  other  way,"  I  said  hesitatingly  ; 
"  couldn't  I  stay  here  if  I  promised  not  to  go  out,  not 
to  show  myself  any  more — even  the  servants  would 
forget  me.  I  could  do  what  little  work  I  need  my- 
self, though  I'm  very  weak — but  I  should  find  the 
strength,  I  assure  you,  I  should  find  the  strength." 

"  Your  health  is  more  undermined  than  you  sup- 
pose. To  stay  in  Paris  is  to  shorten  your  life  :  you 
absolutely  require  country  air.  It  is  for  your  own 
good  that  I  urge  the  matter.  Besides,  the  pension 
the  Comtesse  secures  you  isn't  to  be  despised. 
Mme.  de  Monte  Revilla  acts  generously  in  every- 
thing. If  you  want  twelve,  fifteen,  twenty  thousand 
francs,  she  will  give  them  to  you." 

"  That  would  be  shameful,"  I  cried,  making  an  ef- 
fort to  rise  ;  "  I  would  never  accept  it,"  and  I  thought 
to  myself :  "  There  are  men  of  my  age  who  can  still 
work  and  earn  their  living." 

"  Does  that  mean  that  I'm  capable  of  making  de- 
grading proposals  to  you  ? "  replied  Chevalier  Timo- 
Ition,  drawing  himself  up  proudly.  "  Oh !  this  is 
your  gratitude  for  the  efforts  we  make  to  draw  you 
out  of  the  mire  into  which  you  have  fallen.  Patience 
and  charity  have  their  limits.  Very  well,  Monsieur, 
wrap  yourself  in  your  pride,  I  know  what  remains 
for  me  to  do.     Good-evening." 


During  the  two  or  tlirec  hours  since  he  went 
away,  I  have  been  trembling  with  fear.  All  my  ideas 
are  confused,  and  I  no  longer  know  what  is  real. 
You  know  I  am  not  a  wretch,  don't  you,  my  little 
George  ?  Yes,  I  have  committed  great  errors  in  the 
course  of  my  life,  but  I  take  my  oath,  my  child,  that 


BABOLAIN. 


303 


they  were  not  premeditated.  I  will  go  away  if  my 
presence  is  unendurable  to  them,  but  I  cannot  accept 
this  money.  Poverty  does  not  terrify  me.  If  I  could 
only  kiss  you  before  leaving  you  forever,  but  they 
will  not  allow  it.  Yet  it  is  no  crime  to  love  the  child 
— somebody  is  coming  up  stairs,  I — 


Why  did  I  not  die  after  Timol6on's  visit  ?  That 
would  have  ended  everything,  while  now  I  will  not 
think  of  what  threatens  me  ;  I  am  afraid,  and  yet  I 
wish  to  write  all  this,  were  it  only  to  render  it  possi- 
ble to  wait  for  the  misfortune  that  is  to  crush  me. 

Yesterday  my  son-in-law  suddenly  came  into  my 
room,  but  his  face  did  riot  wear  its  habitual  expres- 
sion of  cold  indifference.  He  had  undoubtedly  been 
talking  with  Timoleon,  for  without  the  slightest  pre- 
amble he  paused  before  me  and  said  angrily : 

"  So,  Monsieur,  it  seems  that  you  are  in  a  con- 
quered province.  What  is  this  the  Chevalier  de 
Morbegno  tells  me  :  that  you  intend  to  remain  here 
by  force,  and  refuse  the  benefits  we  expect  to  have 
you  accept.  But  there  must  be  an  understanding, 
once  for  all ;  besides,  my  patience  has  long  been  ex- 
hausted, and  I  want  to  have  an  explanation  with 
you." 

I  was  so  exhausted,  and  was  suffering  such  vio- 
lent pain  in  my  chest,  that  I  could  not  answer. 
This  doubtless  irritated  him,  but  I  really  could  not 
speak. 

"  You  are  here  from  charity.  Monsieur ;  you  did 
not  suspect  it,  and  I  tell  you  of  it,"  he  continued, 
haughtily.  "  If,  to  acknowledge  my  favors,  you  had 
lived  in  a  respectable  and  proper  manner,  I  should 
always  have  borne  the  burden  of  having  a  stranger 
under  my  roof.  But  do  you  suppose  I  have  not  no- 
ticed you,  that  I  am  the  dupe  of  your  humble  man- 
ners, your  apparent  simplicity  ?  Do  you  suppose  I 
feel  no  annoyance  at  having  a  stoic  philosopher,  a 


304  B ABO  lain: 

tatterdemalion  who  makes  a  scandal  in  the  house, 
causes  trouble  among  my  servants,  and  carries  his 
impertinence  so  far  as  not  to  conceal  his  vices,  he, 
my  wife's  father,  dependent  upon  me  for  everything, 
who  owes  it  to  my  charity  that  he  does  not  fall  into 
the  most  abject  poverty?  And  not  satisfied  with 
getting  intoxicated  in  his  own  room,  he  returns  to  my 
house  drunk  !  " 

"  No,  no,  you  are  mistaken,"  I  said,  clasping  my 
hands. 

"  I  don't  ask  your  opinion,  I  never  speak  as  I'm 
doing  now  without  being  sure  of  what  I  am  saying.  I 
am  ignorant  of  nothing  you  do,  I  know  the  scandal- 
ous means  you  employ,  after  the  manner  of  faithless 
servants,  to  procure  the  money  necessary  for  your  , 
strange  wants.  You  sell  the  candles  that  are  given 
you.  Monsieur,  the  oil  from  your  lamp,  your  fire- 
wood— what  do  I  know  about  it  ?  A  thousand  other 
things,  no  doubt.  The  destitution  I  see  here,  and 
which  I  would  not  have  believed,  is  sufficient  proof" 

"  You  are  wrong,  I  swear  you  are  wrong.  How 
could  I  sell  what  was  not  given  to  me.  Do  not  insult 
me — from  affection  for  your  wife,  whom  it  would 
grieve." 

"And  then,  when  you  are  offered  a  way  of  making 
your  escape  from  your  present  position,  when  from 
charity  or  shame  —  imagine  whatever  motive  you 
please — you  are  assured  an  income  and  a  home,  you 
affect  airs  of  modesty  and  dignity.  Could  it  happen 
to  be  done  with  the  object  of  getting  more?  Speak 
frankly." 

"  Leave  me,  leave  me,  I  am  suffering  terribly,"  I 
said  imploringly. 

"  This  farce  is  useless.  I  mean  to  say  what  I 
think  and  say  it  at  length,  for  I  have  no  respect  for 
you.  You  are  a  parasite,  Monsieur,  a  useless  crea- 
ture, and  what  is  worse,  a  proud,  useless  creature. 
You  have  taken  your  powerlessness  as  an  inviolable 


BABOLAIN.  305 

refuge,  your  moral  and  physical  weakness  as  a  means 
of  livelihood.  You  are  in  the  category  of  dangerous 
beggars.  I  detest  those  sort  of  people,  I  give  them 
alms,  but  I  don't  touch  them  with  the  tips  of  my  fin- 
gers. Must  I  remind  you  of  the  tortures  you  have 
inflicted  upon  the  noblest  of  women,  who  fortunately 
finding  herself  too  far  above  you  to  allow  herself  to 
be  overwhelmed,  broke  5'our  degrading  chains  ?  Must 
I  remind  you  of  the  absurd  and  wicked  education 
you  wished  to  inflict  upon  your  only  daughter,  envel- 
oping her  in  your  insane  egotism  till  she  was  almost 
stifled,  and  even  for  a  long  time  opposing  her  attend- 
ing to  her  religious  duties.  Do  you  say  you  have 
acted  in  this  way  from  '  affection  ?  You  have  some- 
times found  tears  to  move  public  feeling.  Is  it  not 
by  trading  upon  your  fatherly  fondness  that  you  in- 
troduced yourself  into  my  house,  obtained  food  and 
shelter  here  ?  Confound  it,  be  a  little  less  affection- 
ate, and  have  more  courage  to  bear  the  burdens  of 
life." 

"  Hush  !  hush !  think  what  you  please  of  me,  but 
hush  for  your  own  sake,  the  door  is  wide  open." 

"  And  what  do  I  care,  whether  people  hear  me  or 
not  ?  I  wanted  to  tell  you  what  you  are — I  have  done. 
Now  I  have  only  to  repeat  what  Monsieur  de  Mor- 
begno  has  already  told  you:  you  will  have  an  income 
and  henceforth  live  in  a  private  hospital  in  the  sub- 
urbs of  Paris.  You  pretend  to  be  sick ;  I  aflnrm  it, 
and  declare  that  it  is  necessary  for  you  to  reside  in  a 
hospital.  I  hope  you  won't  compel  me  to  make  an 
open  scandal  by  resorting  to  some  act  of  authority, 
which  would  be  very  disagreeable  to  me,  although  I 
should  not  draw  back  from  it.  I  must  inform  you 
that  I  always  carry  out  what  I  have  resolved.  You 
are  faint !  Cease  this  acting,  you  don't  touch  my  feel- 
ings in  the  least ;  I  expect — " 

He  could  not  finish  the  sentence,  for  at  that  mo- 
ment my  little  George  entered  the  room,  crying  in  a 
20 


306  BABOLAIN. 

voice  choked  with  tears  :  "They  are  hurting  you, my 
dear  grandpa,  they  are  hurting  you — but  I  won't  have 
it."  He  sprang  toward  me,  and  as  his  trembling  lit- 
tle arms  embraced  me,  his  lips  pressed  my  forehead, 
there  was  suddenly  a  strange  blank  in  my  brain  and 
I  fainted. 

What  has  happened  ?  I  do  not  know.  When  I  re- 
covered my  senses  this  morning  I  found  myself  lying 
in  my  bed — "George  !  George  !  They  cannot  tear  you 
from  my  heart !  And  thou,  my  God,  who  readest  all 
hearts,  forgive  my  sins  and  grant  me  courage  to  bear 
the  rest  of  my  life  ! " 

The  notes  stop  here.  By  what  cause  was  the 
poor  man  interrupted  ?  Was  he  removed  to  a  pri- 
vate hospital  ?  How  long  did  he  live  there  ?  It  is 
impossible  to  answer  these  questions,  but  it  is  not 
probable  that  his  existence  was  prolonged  for  any 
length  of  time,  or  he  would  certainly  have  added  a 
few  pages  to  his  Memoirs.  In  the  box  that  contain- 
ed them  I  found  a  black-edged  letter,  fastened  witli 
a  wafer,  whose  contents  were  as  follows  : 

"  Madame  la  Comtesse  de  Monte  Revilla,  Can- 
oness  of  Saint  Azeme,  Monsieur  le  Docteur  Joseph 
de  Favras,  officer  of  the  Legion  of  Honor  and  Com- 
mander of  Saint-Lazare,  Madame  Joseph  de  Favras, 
and  Monsieur  George  de  Favras,  have  the  honor  of 
informing  you  of  the  sad  loss  they  have  just  sustain- 
ed in  the  person  of  Monsieur  le  Comte  Babolino  de 
Monte  Revilla,  Commander  of  Saint  Gregoire,  who 
died  in  his  seventieth  year,  after  receiving  the  sacra- 
ments of  the  Church." 


THE     END, 


This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last 
date  stamped  below 


lOm-ll, '50(2565)470 


PQ 

Droz  - 

2220 
D83B11E 

Babolain 

J 1875 

1 

PQ 

2220 
D83B1IE 
1875 


TAINE'S     WORKS. 


I.— ENGLISH  LITERATURE.  A  Cheaper  Edition.  'Jraiislaled  by  U.  Van  I.aun. 
Two  vuls.  Svo,  cluth,  $T.5U;  half  calf  or  morocco,  $ia.50. 

In  every  library,  jmblic  or  private,  one  of  the  first  necessities  is  a  standard  work  on 
Literature.     The  "critics  unite  in  Bi\'ing  the  first  plaw  to  Taine's  English  Literature. 

"  It  is  the  best  history  of  English  literature  that  has  yet  been  proiiuced." — y^ation. 

'•No  English  book  can  bctr  coniparison  with  it  for  richness  of  thought ;  for  variety, 
keenness,  and  soundness  of  critical  judgment ;  for  the  l)rilliancy  with  which  the  mate- 
rial and  the  moral  features  of  each  age  are  sketched."— /.ci»<do«  tSpeclator. 

"The  delicate  and  sympathetic  insight,  the  mastery  of  the  subject,  and  the  vivid  and 
picturesque  style— unparalleled  in  such  a  work— seem  to  me  equally  remarkable."— 
(jeorge  W.  Curtis. 

'•I  consider  it  tiie  best  history  of  English  literature  in  existence." — Bayard  Taylor. 

"  1  concur  fully  with  the  favorable  opinion  expressed  concerning  it  by  Mr.  Taylor.""— 
H'«i.  Culleii  liryanl, 

ll.-A  CONDENSED   EDITION    OF  TAINE'S    ENGLISH    LITERATURE 
for  General  Readers  and   for   Schools.      I'repared  by  John  Fiske,  Assist- 
ant Librarian  and  late  Lecturer  on  Philosophy  in  Uarvard  University,     Post  bvo, 
?2.50. 
Thii  edition  is  just  what  is  wanted  by  that  large  class  of  our  people  who  wotild  b»  glad 

to  read  the  larger  edition  if  they  had  the  time. 

Ill— NOTES  ON  ENGLAND.  Translated  by  W.  F.  Uae.  With  a  Biographical 
Sketch  and  I'ortrait  of  the  author.     Post  Svo.  82.50. 

"  In  acuteness  of  observation  and  sagacity  of  comment,  he  rivals  the  'English  Traits' 
of  -Mr.  Enier»on,  while  in  frcslineiw  of  feeling  and  warm  human  sympathies,  lie  siirpasnea 
that  remnrk.'ible  volume."— -Aeic  York  Tribune. 

"Excels  .ill  previous  travellers'  accounts  of  England  aud  its  \teop\e."—Uo»tuii 
Cornrnonwealt/i, 

IV. -ON  intelligence;    Translated  by  T.  D.  Hate.    Svo,  $5.00. 

'•  We  feel  certain  that  it  will  be  welcomed  as  soon  as  known  by  the  most  advanced 
ochool  of  English  mental  science.     .....     The  Ix'ok  deservra  to  he,  and  we  hope 

will  be,  univertally  read  by  real  Btudeut«  of  Psychology." — J.  S.  Mill,  in  the  Fortnightlv 
Heview. 

v.— ITALY.       (Rome  and  Naples ;    Florence  and  Venice.)       Translated  by   .Ions 
Di'RAND.     Two  vols,  Bvo,  gilt  Bldo  aud  top,  ^.VUO;    cheap  edition,  two  vols,  iu 
one,  plain,  92.  &0. 
"  M.  Taine  studies  its  (Italy's)  art  from  Its  history,  and  not  its  hietory  from  its  art,  as 

Mr.  Uuskin  doo»,  for  example  ;   and  we  think  he  ha.s  by  far  the  clearer  idea  of  the  time, 

itn  |H>ople  auiJ  itn  work." — Atlmuic  Moiahly. 

VL— IDEAL  IN  ART.     Transited  by  John  Dobanti.     lOmo,  $1.2.'). 
VII.-ART  IN  THE  NETHERLANDS.     Translated  by  John  Duhand.     IC.mo, 

VIII.— ART  IN  GREECE.    Trnnnlated  by  John  Uuband.    lf>mo,  J1.85. 

l.\.— THE  PHILOSOPHY  OF  ART.  Translated  by  Johh  DnRAMU.  ICmo, 
91.26. 

Thl*  volume  contains  the  courw  of  Icciurcs  on  the  pnnciplet  of  art,  which  was  pre- 
liminary to  the  other  courses  coiitnlm-d  in  the  author's  volumes  on  'Art  In  Greece.'  'Art 
ill  the  Ncthcrlundis  and  the  '  Meal  in  Art.'  In  the  subsequent  volume* 'The  Philonophy 
of  Alt'  I"  counlaiitly  rcferrol  to. 


HOLT  &  WILLIAMS,  Publishers, 


iS^ai 


"•*"•'"' 


IONS. 


THOUGHTS  FOR  THE  TIMES.  Sennons  by  the  Rev.  H.  B.  lUvrxis.  author  of 
"■  Music  and  Morals."    12mo,  $1.50. 

"He  aims  at  nothing  less  than  laying  down  the  flrtt  principles  of  that  new  liberal 
theology  which  is  to  characterize  what  he  calls  the  Church  of  the  Future.  Mr.  Uaweit 
writes  not  only  fearlessly,  but  with  remarkable  freshness  and  vigor." — Saturday 
Review. 

''It  coutaius  much  to  interest,  entertain,  and  instruct;  .  .  .  [his]  illnstratitiua 
are  always  good." — London  Spectator. 

"  They  are  very  unlike  the  ordinary  run  of  English  sermons ;  .  .  .  apart  from 
the  unquestionable  cleverness  .  .  .  they  have  a  special  interest  as  exhibiting  the 
treatment  which  old-fashioned  orthodoxy  i'i  just  now  tmdergoing  at  the  hands  of  the 
liberal  clergy.  The  whole  volume,  indeed,  bears  marks  of  much  originality  of  thought 
and  iudividoality  of  expression."— i\UJ  Mall  Gazeue. 

BIOGRAPHIA  LITERARIA.  By  Samttix  Tatlob  Colkbisoe.  Centenary  Li- 
brary Edition.  8vo,  i  vols.,  f  5.(K). 
"  The  edition  is  very  much  more  than  a  reproduction  of  Coleridge's  own  work,  and 
its  value  to  students  of  the  place  and  influence  of  Coleridge  In  modem  culture»cannot 
be  too  strongly  stated.  The  publishers  have  given  it  an  elegant  dress,  and  we  have  no 
doubt  that  they  will  receive  the  tlianks  of  many  of  our  younger  students,  who  are  now 
able  to  place  among  their  choice  books  a  very  choice  copy  of  a  work  so  important."— 
College  Courant. 

LEaENDS  OF  THE  PATRIARCHS  AND  PROPHETS.  Current  at  the  Bast, 
by  the  Kev.  S.  Baiiino-Gocld,    Crown  Svo.  $2.00. 

"There  are  few  Bible  readers  who  have. not  at  some  time  wished  for  just  such  a 
volume.  ♦  »  »  This  is  a  thoroughly  interesting  book,  and  will  be  seized  with 
avidity  by  all  students  of  the  Bible."— 7%<  Congregationalist. 

"  Mr.  Baring-Gould  has  ♦  •  •  had  very  good  success  in  making  book*  of  enter- 
taining reading,  but  we  believe  be  has  never  succeeded  better  Uian  in  theae  Iicsanda." — 
A'attoH. 

"They  have  the  magic  charm  of  the  Arabian  Nights." — Methodist. 

"  It  will  be  his  (the  reader's)  own  loss  if  he  foigoee  the  pleaiure  of  reading  this  enter- 
taining volume.'^— London  Saturday  Reeiew. 

HISTORICAL  COURSE  FOR  SCHOOLS.  Edited  by  Xdwabd  A.  Fbeemax, 
D.  C.  L. 
The  object  of  this  series  is  to  pnt  forth  clear  and  correct  views  of  history  in  simple 
language,  and  in  the  Hraallest  space  and  cheapest  form  in  which  it  could  be  done.  It  ii 
hoped  in  time  to  take  in  short  histories  of  all  the  chief  countzies  of  Europe  and  America, 
giving  the  results  of  the  latest  historical  researclies  in  as  simple  a  form  as  may  be. 
Those  of  England  and  Scotland  will  shortly  appear,  and  authors  are  at  work  on  other 
liarta  of  the  plan. 

1.  OUTLINES  OF  HISTORY.    By  Bowabd  .K.  Fbkucax,  D.  C.  L.    ISmo.  $1.95. 

2  ENGLAND.    By  Miss  Edith  Thompsox.    In  Prut. 

BAIN'S  ENGLISH  GRAMMAR.  A  brief  English  Grammar,  on  a  Logical  Method. 
By  Alkxander  Bain,  LL.D.,  Professor  in  the  University  of  Aberdeen,  author 
of  "The  Emotions  and  the  Will,"  "The  Senses  and  the  Intellect, "  Treatises  on 
I'pyc'liology,  Logic,  Rhetoric,  etc.    18mo,  t>oards,  50  centa. 


HOLT  &  W^ILLIAMS,   Publishers, 

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